The report is in....stage 4

justpayton1

Here is a brief history..

1/09 found lump, 2/09 dx stage 3 trip neg.

2/09 dose dense 4xAC 4xTaxol, 7/09 masectomy, 8/09 33 rads followed by 5 boosters.

10/09 considered cancer free...

2/10 routine pet scan shows "hot nodes" internal mammary, left axillary, supraclavular etc...all small but high suv. Needle biopsy to left axillary fails refered to surgeon who informs me the axillary is not the node to go after and refers me to a heart surgeon to go after the internal nodes.

3/9/10 surgery and a 3 day hospital stay from pain and continous vomiting..

3/15/10 path report is in and its now official mets...

I am back in my fog and I feel as though I could vomit at any minute. My heart is breaking as I look at my kids..I am so sorry to put them through this again. I havent told them yet but they know something is up..as grandma and grandpa are visiting all the time and all the Dr.s appt.

I am back to the onc later today to discuss treatment..thanks for listening

LisaSDCA

That sucks! 

Pain and vomiting in the hospital for three days sucks. Maybe the onc has something up his sleeve that will make the tumor cells writhe in agony. Platinum drugs show promise for triple negs. Don't be in a hurry to tell your kids - get your head around it first.

The kind and beautiful women of the Stage IV thread are willing and able to give advice, wise counsel, and (((HUGS))) as needed.

Good luck as you make the adjustments. It's okay to cry, be angry at the world, stay in your jammies all day - whatever helps you to cope.

Lisa

Titan

Payton..I'm here for you!...Let us know what your treatments will be...hopefully you can get them started soon.....

justpayton1

Thanks Lisa and Titan..

As Titan can testify to, my outlet is laundry and cleaning..I may need a new washer before this is all through.

My onc wanted to start chemo this Friday but I wanted the weekend to be with the boys. I figure we can talk Friday evening and than have Sat to kick around, Sat. evening maybe go out w/ friends and do somehting fun and than Sun. That way they have the weekend to "cushion" the news.

Things are still up in the air as I was leaving the onc office, a call came in. There is a PARP trial beginning April 13th for olaparib. The drug my onc wants for me..so the info is being faxed over and we should know by next week if I can get in. The new question will be do we want to gamble and wait a month..maybe I will be able to have the chemo and than the PARP..I don't know. I just hope I make the right choice.

navygirl

Payton, I'm so sorry your going through all this again and so soon. As Lisa said, it sucks! I love your plan to take the weekend to just enjoy your boys and cushion the blow before you dive head first into treatment again, it sounds like a GREAT plan! (((hugs))) darlin' --- I am sure the ladies on stage IV will give you lots of good advice and lots more comfort. 

XOXO 

Faith316

It is hard to know if you are doing the right thing when you have to decide between to treatment paths.  My only advice is to pray about it and ask for God's guidance to help you make the right decision.  Good luck to you. 

lovemyfamilysomuch

Thinking of you and sending you lots of prayers for you and your family. xo

justpayton1

Thank-you Faith and lovemy family- it was a rough night..sleep wise that is. So it was so nice to wake up and see comments posted. I have tons of phone calls to make today and lots to research. Until I hear I am accepted into the trial, I have tp prepare for chemo. They will be putting in a port Friday or Monday. Its all such a blur..

spar2

Justpayton1, so sorry to hear your news, it just makes me so sad and angry.  We do so need a cure for this dreadful disease and what a heart warming story to give the weekend for your boys, you both need it.  Sending you warm gentle hugs and caring.  Would love to help any way I can.  will be here for support.  All the lovely ladies on the stage IV forum will pick you up and give you all the support and advice they have.  God bless you.

Anonymous

Justpayton - I noticed your post, and wanted to send my thoughts and prayers to you and your family.  I have read really good things about the PARP trial.  Hope that works out, if not I am sure that your onc. has something wicked up his/her sleeve that will kick this cancer to the curb.

I can only imagine that everything is a blur, but yes - prepare for chemo, get that port and put your gloves back on.  We are all supporting you.

justpayton1

Thanks so much to all of you for your support.

Today I kept myself busy but tonight has been hard. Just gotta keep moving..

clemson93

justpayton1,

I am so sorry you have to join our "club."  I know that things are really scarey right now and seem hopeless but I promise, there is hope.  There are many drug options and clinical trials available for us.  Doctors now refer to metastatic breast cancer as a chronic disease.  We just have to stay ahead of the game to get the next, newest treatment.  There is a woman who posted on the stage IV forum who has been living for 17 years with metastatic breast cancer.  She hasn't been NED either.  She said that they beat her cancer back with each new, different treatment.  Just know that you aren't alone.

Susan   

lovinmomma

I am sorry that you are here. I know that feeling of looking at your kids and not being sure what to tell them and how too deal with all that. It is hard.