I know I can't be the only lesbian out here?

Melgirl

Hi Tamara. Good for you to be done with this! Some days it feels like it will never end!!

magiclight

Tamara: Good news in that you are on the other side of treatment and hopefully with no lasting side effects. Brava for reporting your update on this forum.

Tamaraf799

Well almost and mostly done- I should say. Treatment is over (whoop!) I'm going in for a "clean up" surgery on June 17. There's a 4 inch ridge under where my right breast was. My surgeon hoped it would flatten out/clear up after some time and with radiation, but it didn't. I don't carry much weight in that area so my surgeon said it's unusual that it healed that way and there could have been some remaining breast tissue. So I'm going to get that cleaned up. Hopefully it's a simple process and quick healing. Will be glad to have that done. I'd say I have minor lingering effects from treatment. Like being really sensitive to spicy food- it makes me feel like my skin is on fire. And I'm quick to forget names of things- but that's about it for chemo brain lingering. The muscles in my chest get tight and sore if I don't work out 4-5x a week. So, good motivation to keep moving

ksusan

I hear you about working out to stay flexible. I hope your clean-up surgery is uneventful and has a satisfying outcome.

KateB79

Good luck with the surgery, Tamara!

I hear you on the tightness as motivation to keep moving; I'm in the same boat. The good news is that moving is good for the soul as well as the body.

Tamaraf799

Thank you!

And yes, so good for the mind to keep exercising. I get cranky if I don't...

KateB79

Oh, me too. Exercise is the best anti-cranky drug in the world. . . .

magiclight

Re: Orlando - More than prayers are needed for our community. We need to rally around those legislators who do not use religion to justify discrimination against the LGBT community. No child, no adult is ever protected by discrimination. Today at least 50 people died because one person hated so much.June is gay pride month, but today I think we all feel more vulnerable.

"I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear." Martin Luther King

JustJean

So much hate. So many people dead. If you want to help the families and victims of this hate crime, glaad has a GoFundMe.

I will never understand. A horrible day for our community.

ksusan

Disgusting.

bride

Still mourning Orlando.

Tamara, what is your workout plan? I'm still struggling with ROM, tightness, posture problems caused by loss of core muscle and by neuropathy which has messed up my gait.

This month marks the beginning of my second year of NED! Hurray for that and screw the idea of "the new normal," my life is still unstable and I'm still dealing with the treatment side effects.

bride

mutt1963

Five years out and a new laptop, had to come back hear to truly make it mine. I am so glad to see that this thread is still going strong though I wish none of us had a reason to be here.

ksusan

I had a dream that a woman was putting moves on me and unbuttoning my flannel overshirt. I said to her, "I like what you're doing, but I need to make note of something before you go on," thinking I should alert her to my BMX. This is my second dream where I had had BMX and my first where I discussed it.

When I woke up and told my wife, she responded, "You should have said, 'My wife takes those with her so other women don't get their mitts on them.'"

KateB79

ksusan, that's quite a dream, and I like your wife's sense of humor.

Melgirl

LOL Love it!!

Tamaraf799

Love the dream!

I've had a couple of crazy months related to the surgery I had in June. My radiated skin didn't want to heal and I had to go back several times to get stitched up after incisions opening up at home. Scary stuff and I'm so thankful my partner is a former army medic. Doesn't phase her to patch me up at home while I wait to be seen by my surgeon. Anyway, stitches finally came out on Wednesday then on Friday I took off to a phenomenal Casting for Recovery event and learned to fly fish.

Now that stitches are finally fully out I can get back to exercise. I'm running a bit and riding my bike. I love rowing but have been afraid to get back to that because of the skin/stitches issues but I think I'm ready to resume that in small doses.

magiclight

Tamara, getting back to your exercise must feel great as you progress past the scary stuff of opening incisions. Casting for recovery looks like a great program to exercise shoulder joints, reconnect with wild places, have new experiences, and maybe just feel whole again.

Casting for Recovery

KateB79

My partner and I are about to start trying to have a baby (which she would carry, given that I was triple-pos). Is that insane? I'm so joyous about it, but simultaneously so worried that the beast will come back and take me out, leaving her a single mom and a baby without two parents. . . .

But MAN, I can't foreclose the possibility of joy and happiness because of fear/anxiety, right?

We've been together 13 years, most of which haven't been easy years. My instinct is to do it; her instinct is to do it; our friends and family are completely supportive. I'm not sure why I'm typing this here. I guess I'm hoping that someone will chime in and say, "hell yeah, go for it!" or "nope, you're nuts!"

ksusan

Hell yeah, go for it. Can't live your life without living your life. One of my dear friends was triple negative in her early 30s. Now in her early 50s, no recurrence, and just wound up with two kids by marriage. Plan for the worst and expect the best.

Sarah0915

My partner and I decided 30 years ago to go with our "gut" instinct on important decisions. It hasn't failed us yet. You can't live your life in fear of what might happen. Best of luck to you.

Toad

Howdy - just checking in, since I seem to be persona non grata in the rest of the forum for some unknown reason (4-5 posts, one response). Maybe it's that big scarlet "L" tattooed on my forehead

I'm just past treatment for IDC (done August 24) and was looking forwrd to a dive vacation with my wife of 30 years on Thursday, when our daughter said, "Mom, has your nipple always looked like that?"

So now, instead of checking my dive kit and finishing my work so that I can leave it behind (which I've pretty much never done) I'm taking a half a day or more to see my surgeon tomorrow to start this merry-go-round all over again.

Hopefully it is nothing, but a single suddenly inverted nipple can be a sign of inflammatory breast cancer. I'm hoping that whatever they find tomorrow, they will at least tell me that I won't significantly change my prognosis if I delay any biopsies they want to order for about a week - since I desperately need a break.

KateB79

Sending good vibes to you, Toad. Keep us posted.

magiclight

Toad: Not the best news and coming, as is usually the case, at an inopportune time when you had plans for some deserved break time. Fingers and toes crossed for good news for you.

Toad

Thanks for the greetings!

The good news is that they are not worried about the inverted nipple (and I'm comfortable with what they looked at and the questions they asked themselves to rule it out as much as it is possible to rule it out - i.e. they looked at the same kind of inflammatory indicators that I would have looked at - short of bloodwork, which I'll see at my annual physical tomorrow.)

The bad news is that in the process of ruling out anything nasty, they found a 5 mm tumor in the "healthy" breast. New, or changed, since the March ultrasound at the beginning of my cancer diagnosis. Some of its characteristics match cancer - some don't. It's about a coin toss.

So I still get to go diving! But I get to come home to another of those thrilling core biopsies. Ugh. At least it's only a small merry-go-round for now.

That bilateral mastectomy I declined is looking mighty good right about now!

KateB79

Toad, so much of this whole process is about good news/bad news and how to take it all in at once. I hear you.

Go on your diving trip, have a great time, and know that we're here for you when you get back!

Toad

Back from diving. I managed to put the new tumor out of my mind, except when Pinktober shoved it in my face again. . Fortunately, it was slightly less prominent in Mexico than here. Now I'm back - and ready for my Monday biopsy. The nurse who called me with the pre-procedure instructions said, I think I remember you . . . Yup. My first go-round was not nearly long enough ago to be forgotten.

Crossing my fingers for something benign.

ksusan

Welcome back, Toad, and best of luck.

magiclight

Toad: Diving does have a way of clearing the mind and focusing on the present moment. Hoping along with you for good news on Monday.

Toad

So, I broke the machine.

They managed to get the biopsy - couldn't make the machine release it. Had to swap machines mid-procedure. So much fun! Now I'm back to waiting until sometime between Wednesday and Friday for my results.

Country3223

Hey I'm Dani. I found a lump about a month ago and will be starting chemo next week. I'm from Connecticut but stationed here in Texas with the Air Force. This all came as kind of a shock since I don't have any family history of cancer. But I'm happy to meet y'all and hope these forums aren't too out of date that they're not still active.