Husband not caring

Susansnow

Thank you for all you posting here and supporting me in your words. I had good news that the result of the biopsy for my left breast is benign. I am happy for the result and it also means I can be independent financially and physically. Domestic problems will be solved in the natual pace I believe. Again we all should take care of our health first and deal with other issues in a lower priority. Thanks again for your help.

ananda8

Wonderful, wonderful. Very good news.  Take your time with the domestic stuff.  Have joy in the news. 

mebrown

Susan - that is great news!  I wish you all the best in the future.

janny99

Susansnow, I am so happy that your biopsy results for your left breast came back benign.  Continue to take care of yourself, and you will be able to think clearly about your domestic situation. 

janny99

My male friend snuggled on the couch with me for the first time since I had my surgery.  He actually leaned against my chest...as crazy as this seems, that meant a lot to me.  He still hasn't looked at my incisions, but it's a start.

ananda8

  how sweet.

1WonderWoman

Susan-

First, congrats on your clean read!  Very good news!

On the husband thing, I am going to weigh-in on this just to tell you what I witnessed in my PS's office last week.  There was a woman who came out, bald from chemo and was walking toward the receptionist's desk.  I was waiting in the lobby, and knowing that she might not be able to use her arms much I asked if she needed help.  No one else was in the waiting room with us so I felt as if offering would not embarrass her as the receptionist was busy on a call and she wanted the lady's room key.   In any case, she said no, that she was waiting for her husband.  When he walked into the lobby his face said "I am terrified and pissed off and don't look at my wife funny b/c she is wearing a cap and has no hair."   It was so strange and all I could think was this dx is hard enough without dealing with propping up friends and family who are scared that you are going to expire!   Joking but in all seriousness, even though you had to go by yourself, you did what you had to do for yourself and although it would have been nice if they were there for you, if they could not be there for you 100% then it is just as well that they were not.  It is hard enough for us to deal with this never mind having to entertain and reassure our family.

I think he was not coming home because he is afraid he is going to lose you and there is nothing he can do to stop that.  Focus on your health and healing and all should fall into place.

I wish you well-

LIz

wildbreast

Hi Susansnow,

I now my reply is coming quite late to this thread on the forum but.... gosh this is an eye opener. As you, my "husband" was and absolute s-n of a b---h during my treatment as he already was before, after and now. As someone said in here before, it is unbelievable,  how much shit woman take in trying to understand and rationalize their partners behavior.  Why do we loss so much energy and time in this it is something I don't know. Always giving one more chance, always waiting for chance .... I think that ALWAYS, by specially it this hard moments that we are going through we should not waist any time of trying to understand anybody but trying to recover, get the best possible outcome or coping with the illness in the best possible way. As I said I am myself in that tramp, financially I am quite dependant of him as I haven't been  able to find a more stable job yet, but I get really angry with my self when I start thinking about the reasons behind his attitude ... those reasons, whatever they are don't matter at all, the only important thing here is ME!!. I guess what I am trying to say if you have the chance of getting a divorce do it as is a better option to be on your own that to be with some one who makes you feel so lonely.