Buddhists

3monstmama

Hey Maya,  many hugs back to you. Maya I have had those thoughts too.  The hardest time was when my godmother died of ovarian cancer, when I was just about 30.  She called me on the phone and her last words were that she was proud of me.  I wept.  When she died I felt like I had lost my mother--you know, the person who is proud of you, who always wants the best for you no matter what.  And I had one of those "bad" daughter thoughts--I wished that it had been my mother who died and not my godmother.   Somewhere in your life, perhaps there is that mother daughter relationship, its just not with the person bearing the label of "mother."

We had both mothers--mine and my husbands-- over for a cook-out on sunday. It was sad to see how easily my MIL interacts with the kids as compared to my Mother.  The difference is not simply because my MIL has spent more time with them but because she listens to them and is interested in them. My mother wants them to admire her and listen to her stories.  She is not the type who would ever play countless rounds of the same children's game just because her grandchildren are having fun.

While we were eatting dinner on the porch my mother announced that she wanted to trim our lilac bush--sounds like such a nice offer except that one has to walk down a steep driveway to get to it and then the bush itself is on uneven ground so there is no place flat to stand.  Mind you the woman saying she wants to do this is the one who is always telling us she is shaky and wobbly and dizzy.  I said no thank you 3 times and finally said I will not help you hurt yourself, the ground isn't level, it isn't safe for you, I don't want you to get hurt.  My mother as always started talking to me in a denigrating fashion, calling me uncooperative and bossy--that I am 50 and the mother of three makes no difference to her.  I even saw my oldest's eyes pop.  My husband and MIL then joined in saying it was not a good idea, even the youngest spoke up.  My mother pursed her lips.  Later she went in the house and saw out the back window that everything I said was true and acknowledged to my MIL that her idea was not a good one.  Not a word did she say to me. 

When the time comes, I will mourn my mother's death as I would the death of any other human being.  And I will likely mourn again the end of the chance for the mother-daughter relationship that I never had.  And I will hope that --if there is reincarnation--she has a better time around next time.  But I won't be mourning her in the way that I mourned my godmother or that I will some day mourn my MIL.  That still makes me sad but I have come to accept it.

abigail48

I do fish, except on theis fast lunar month, buddhas birthday fast month according to the ningmapas.  I carried a mosquito out once, not easy!!!!!got it into a paper cup after many tries, & covered the top after many another tries.  the dalai lama said once, in an interview he blows them off

3monstmama

If anyone is familiar with Tricycle magazine, they are starting an on-line retreat on Monday, June 4, 2012 dealing with the Four Protective Meditations.   website is www.tricycle.com

I have signed up.  I have never done an on-line retreat before so it will be an interesting experience.

3monstmama

bumping us up in case anyone is out there.

happy Thursday.

3monstmama

on the atheist thread, notself kindly posted a link to the latest in Pew Research on Religion in America.  It appears that self identified Buddhists are currently .7 percent of the population.  I guess that explains why we are so quiet here! 

for the curious, there are only .6 percent Muslims which happens to be another very quiet group on this board.

abigail48

but more buddhist in the world than any other religion , if you count all the chinese as roman catholics count all baptized in the church, & probably all catholic countries

ananda8

It would be interesting if surveys required the person counted to be a practicing "whatever" rather than a cultural one.  I think the number of actual religious people in the world would drop precipitously.  I would also like the Pew Landmark Survey to count people who believe in a universal spirit separately from those who believe in a creator god that responds to prayer.  Counting them together overstates the number who actually believe in a god in the Western understanding of the word.

ananda8

It is my understanding from talk to Asians on various forums that there is no word Buddhist throughout most of Asia.  People refer to practicing the Dhamma or Dharma.  I wonder how immigrant Asians answered the Pew survey when asked about their religion.  Religion tends to be a Western word.  Devas are not worshipped by Buddhist but they are referred to as gods.  One of the Buddha's titles is "the Teacher of gods and men".  This would add to the confusion if Asians were asked if they believed in god.  They would most likely answer, yes. But they would be thinking of mortal beings called devas.

abigail48

nature, small n created the universes

3monstmama

I'm sorry abigail but I don't understand what you are trying to say.  Why would Chinese catholics be counted as Buddhist?  The Chinese Christians I have known have been quite sincere about their beliefs.

notself, aren't there other surveys by Pew that do look into level of practice for whatever religion?  I would also be interested in what parts of the country had higher levels of practice of whatever religion.

I found it interesting to see really how few Muslims there are in the United States compared with all the fuss.

ananda8

3monstmama,

The most religious State is Mississippi. My State is number 3. The most religious states are also the poorest.

http://www.pewforum.org/How-Religious-Is-Your-State-.aspx

I think what Abigail was saying is that the RCC counts anyone who is baptize as Catholic even if the person never spent one day attending services.  To be removed from being counted as a Catholic, one must write to the parish where one was baptized and request that the record be amended to show that the person should not be counted as Catholic.  This practice does not apply to Buddhists since there is no baptism ceremony in Buddhism. 

3monstmama

Notself and abigail, I'm familiar with the rule about Catholic for life (learned it when a Catholic priest told my mother that she would Always be Catholic, despite a divorce) but didn't understand how it applied in China unless abigail was talking about all who had ever been baptised catholic.  Not too much forced baptism in China today--actually remains rather difficult as I understand it for Chinese citizens to attend any church service.

No baptism but there is taking refuge though I'm not sure how records of such things are kept plus since one can take refuge multiple times, does that mean one gets counted multiple times?

ananda8

I don't think records are kept about taking refuge since it is more of a dedication of action rather than a sacrament.  Baptism "redeems" one from being born in original sin.  Refuge is a simple promise to study the dhamma and act accordingly.  No sin is removed since no sin ever existed in the first place.

abigail48

I believe they count as members of a religion, or did anyway, anyone born in a catholic country or born in a buddhis country.  obviously bogus, but counting that way buddhism has the most members in the world

3monstmama

bumping us up just in case!

I finally went to a new sitting group that I have been wanting to check out for  a year or so.  It is so hard to mesh practice, parenting and full time work.  Anyrate, this is a mindfulness group in the tradition of Thich Nhat Hanh.  They did a 25 minute sit followed by walking meditation followed by another 25 minute sit followed by more walking meditation and a dharma talk. I enjoyed all of it including the dharma talk after (impermence, attachment and Higgs Boson particle all in one package!) although I confess that I did get a bit dozy (1am bedtime the night before and a hot room are not conducive to alertness). 

The differences between this tradition and Zen were very interesting to me, particularly the walking meditation.  I am ALWAYS out of step in walking meditation--I have taken to going to the end of the line because I am never in synch with the group.  But last night there was no synch!  Much better for me!

Anyrate, I plan to go again next week.

ananda8

It is my understanding that Thich Nhat Hanh has tried to combine the Mahayana style Buddhism of Viet Nam with the Theravada tradition of Thailand.  Neither appears to be as strictly structured as Zen.  You are so fortunate to be able to experience such variety.

Wren44

I just stumbled across this forum in active topics. I think I saw it once when I first came to the boards. I'm not actively sitting right now, but consider myself Buddhist and always put that down when asked. It did keep the chaplins away in the hospital lol. I just read it through from the beginning and found it a good learning experience. I felt calm throughout my experience (after the biopsy results finally came back) and think that's because I didn't feel attachment to the results. Right now I'm having a problem getting motivated enough to do anything--even stuff I'd like to do. I don't feel depressed, just not energized. Thanks for being here.

ananda8

Wren44,

I feel the same way.  Several weeks ago, immediately after the switch from Arimidex to Aromasin, I felt so good, had no pain and had lots of energy. Now I am back to pain, trouble sleeping and no energy. One set of SE's stopped and it took a while for the new SE's to settle in. At least I only have 6 more months to go.  I wonder if my hair will stop falling out and start to get thick again.  Now that would be nice.

3monstmama

welcome wren44,

I know too well the not energized sort of feeling.  For me that is a sign of depression.  As much as I am not too keen on adding to my medicinal load, I have been helped by a mild antidepressant.

Still I fell off my cushion months ago and can't seem to climb back up.  We did our annual family retreat which in the past has served well to get me back in the habit but this time, I was tenzo and my cushion and I did not spend much time together.  I am hoping this weekly group will work for me.

Notself, it does seem like every flavor of buddhism can be found in the PNW.  I knew about Thich Nhat Hanh when I lived in California--we had good friends who went to Deer Park (Thich Nhat Hanh's california monestary) often.  I wanted to visit but could never get it together.  Last night I heard about a family who was on a one month retreat at Plum Village (the main location in France)---parents, a high schooler and a middle schooler.  Talk about creating feelings of "wants"  --the luxery of a month of no work, a month in France, you name it! 

ananda8

Plum Village for a month sounds wonderful. I am slowly reading a new translation of the "Path to Purification" aka the Visuddhimagga originally compiled from the Commentaries around 500 CE .  Here is a verse from it.  It's one of my favorites and is Buddhism in a nutshell.

"Mere suffering is, not any sufferer is found
The deeds exist, but no performer of the deeds:
Nibbana is, but not the one who enters it,
The path is, but no wanderer is to be seen.

No doer of the deeds is found,
No one who ever reaps their fruits,
Empty phenomena roll on,

This view alone is right and true.
No god, no Brahma, may be called,
The maker of this wheel of life,
Empty phenomena roll on,
Dependent on conditions all."  - Visuddhimagga XIX

 

abigail48

Is the deer park hahn in the mtsw of ca?  I recall a group there, zen I think, who had an afternoon tea ceremony but with black tea.  the abbott was/is an english woman

I sit every day now, before my laptop.  say mantra there sometimes.......

3monstmama

so lovely that your sitting practice is launched, abigail!  you are ahead of me! 

Deer Park is NOT in the mountains in CA--it is in Escondido which is inland, flat and hot.  Part way between Los Angeles and San Diego.

The mountain based monestery in so cal that comes instantly to mind is Mount Baldy Zen Center under Joshu Sasaki (rinzai zen tradition).

ananda8

Wat Metta is also located in San Diego County. It's a Theravada monestary run by an American bhikkhu. I think it is also in Escondido.  Let us know if you ever check it out.

abigail48

I know escondido, none of these are the one I remember from I think american buddhists, a fine book published a few years ago.  the monastary I recall was in the no ca sierras I think

ananda8

Oops, it's in Valley Center.  http://www.watmetta.org/about/gallery1.htm This monastery is in the Forest tradition.  The monks follow the vinaya closely and try to live as much as possible the way monks of the time of the Buddha lived.  You will note that guest quarters are tents. 

It would be nice to visit at the ending of Rains Retreat which is sometime in October.  There is a ceremony were laypeople give cloth for robes to the monks. I am going to try to visit next year but I think I'll stay in a hotel.  I'm too old for tents.

Thanissaro Bhikkhu, the abbot, has some great audios on the dhamma and meditation.  http://www.dhammatalks.org/mp3_index.html 

abigail48

nice.  nice buddha images:  I'm always encouraged when thehy're shown with ryes open unlike most popular images of him.........& mt palomar......always thought at least I'd get there to the telescope, oh well, next time perhaps

Natkat

Anyone still out there?

Just found this thread. Sorry i missed sam52 b/c i am also nichiren and have much simpler practice than other posters - primarily chanting. Have had some very deep experiences w/ cancer. Nothing like confrontation of death to make prayers sincere

abigail48

I don't chant them, usually silent in fact or whispered, but my practice is mostly mantra (& bodhi-mind)

ananda8

Today is a full moon Uposatha so I won't post again until tomorrow.  It's good to see the thread active.

3monstmama

bumping us up.

After the recent election, I was excited to read a number of articles on the new senator from Hawaii who is a practicing Buddhist.  She is the first Buddhist senator in the history of the US.  There will also be a new represenative who is a practicing Hindu.  I think in both instances it will be very insteresting to see how they interweave their practice with politics---with such vitriol in our politcal system these days, will right speech be catching?  One can hope!

Also did anyone see the recent article in the Huffington Post about the number of self-identified Buddhists per 100,000 in different cities in the continental United States?  Is your city on the list?  I was interested to see there are 4 cities with more than 1000 Buddhists per 100,000 and some of them came as a surprise to me.

hope all are well.