ONLY 27, Stage 3 BC

wwaterlilyy

ONLY 27, Stage 3 BC

wwaterlilyy

Hello,

 I was diagnosed with Stage 3 breast cancer on January 11th, 2010. I am the first and only person with cancer in my family. It was completely very devastating and shocking to me and I feel very alone in this journey. 1 month passed by and I am worried because I haven't seen any young person diagnosed with bc. When I step into the chemotherapy room, I see that I am the youngest person among those people I've seen so far. When people ask my age, they react in a very strange way which makes me sad.  I am here as I would like to hear from other people around my age who could share their experiences with me and be a source of hope. I will get my 3rd chemotherapy next week and before that I really want to meet someone here so that I'll know that I am not alone in this long journey.   Thank you.

Estepp

SWEET SISTER!

You are not not not alone. We are so many ages here! This is a very active site. We help eachother so much. I have seen too many young women come through...

I know what you mean about your cancer center. When I started chemo ( I was 40).. even at 40... I was the youngest there by 10 yrs. They all gave me the look too.

So many of us... have become friends here... last year.. 20 of us went to Vegas ... the youngest was 30....Many others have met in groups in their state... actually.. I believe there are many tight groups... SURVIVORS ! If you need ANYTHING... PLEASE feel free to PM ( private message me)... I will visit with you... direct you to threads you might feel at home in...

You are going to see that many will respond to you here.... we are all a HUGE team of tough chicks! And when we do not feel tough... and we cry our eyes out.... all others are pickin' us up!

 Love to you girl.... I might be 42 now... but a YOUNG 42!!!

Let me know what I can do for you...!

((HUGS)) and Gods peace... Laura

cookiegal

I really liked my support group at YSC. If they have it in your area it will be a big help. And yes, it sucks to be young with this!

Alyad

Hi, I was 35 when I was diagnosed last year. I totally know what you mean about the waiting room-  its just me and a bunch of OLD people. Just the other day I was calling to change an appt- they always ask for your birth date - the person was like oh- 1973, that's a lot younger than most of the dates I hear.... yes I know!

 i do have family history (but I was unaware of til I was diagnosed)- but no one this young- (dad's cousins :(48 & 50), grandma : mid 70's) It's like it hit 15-20 years sooner with each generation

alison34

hi

i am walking this same path as you as i speak

i was given my diagnosis jan 7th grade 3 with lymph node involvment

had my operation 25th jan ( mastectomy on left side)

now waiting for results again to see what plan of treatment i am going to need

please dont feel alone

this is a hard journey but you can do it and know your not alone

i am 34 with 2 small children and have more than any reason to fight this

stay positive and if anyone can be of help then please post here

i have found these ladies on here to be my brick

i dont post but just to read their amazing storys gives me hope

love and best wishes

you can chat to me anytime xxxxxxxx

mommy2two

You are definitely NOT alone!  I felt the exact same way that you did when I was diagnosed at 34 with no family history.  I have still never personally met someone with with bc as young as I am but I have had the experience of "talking" to several on this site.  I was always the youngest in the infusion room and rads is no different.  The older ladies look at me with pity and feel sorry for me.  Until I found this site, I felt like I couldn't relate to anyone and had nobody to talk to.  The ladies on these threads have been my rock and sounding board.  Thanks to them, I go through nothing alone because they are always here for me!

Best of luck to you,

((((HUGS))))

Toyah

hopetoheal

My aunt has a relative. First, the mom of the family at age 45 was diagnosed, and than after this diagnosis, her 20 year oldu daughter was diagnosed. You are not alone but just rare. I hope you will manage well and it will just be a memory for you to tell grandchildren.

wwaterlilyy

Dear Laura, cookiegal, Alyad, Alison34, SunFlowers, Mommy2two, HopetoHeal,

I Wholeheartedly thank you for being there, your support and sending me kind messages. It is very kind of you indeed and I truly appreciate it. I have received only 2 chemotherapy treatments so far and I am at the beginning of a long journey. I want to have children in the future and I do not know what I will face during and after this long journey. I think my doctors will do surgery at the end remove both of my breasts. Initially, the tumor in my left breast was ~ 9~10 cm, and the one in my armpit was 4.00 cm. I am very afraid of many things as there are lots of unknown things with this illness. I hope and pray that the treatment can shrink the tumors as much as possible, Had my doctors done the surgery at the beginning, I would have lost the function of my left arm completely as the tumor is very very close to my nerves. I am really going through a very tough time now and I'll be soo happy to keep in touch with you and your recommendations, any advice you may have for me.

Take good care of yourself , May God bless you and all your loved ones. I am sending all of you warm greetings and hugs from NC.

Love from Nil

alison34

you are more than welcome we are here for you

like many are here for me and others

please dont travel this tough road alone

anything you need to ask then please dont hesitate

good luck and loads of hugs and kisses

kick its arse you have it in you xxxx

Kodapants

Nil,  God bless you!  I too am Stage 3, Stay strong no matter what.  These forums are here to help you when it is completely hard to understand, So, you are doing Neoadjuvant chemo to shrink your tumors? I will keep you in my prayers.  We are all here for you.

Koda

Estepp

Sweet dear... you just keep coming here and reading.. read read read... you have knowledge at your fingertips here... ((((((((HUGS))))))))

cherneski

I am so sorry you are here with us, but glad you found us.  I know what you mean about the chemo room.  I was the youngest person at the cancer center, I ended up knowing almost everyone that works there, because they are all around my age.  I made some great friends.  Feel free to check into the stage 3 forum, bunch of great women there (here too obviously).  The Ladies there help me so much with everything, from txs to my craziness.  We are all ages there, I am 39, was 38 at dx.  I am pretty sure Billynda is 27 and she just had a baby boy . 

Much Love, Deb

yellow

Hi wwaterlilyy,

I was diagnosed with stage 3 triple negative bc in oct 19of 2009 and im 32 yrs old. My tumor was 7cm kind of took over my whole breast. happy to let you know that i just finished my chemo and getting ready for my march 10th surgery. They decided to give me chemo first to see if im responding and because the tumor was so big. They did ultrasound on feb 11 and found no tumor yeahhh. I too will have double mastectomy. after my surgery i will have radiation for about 5 to 7 weeks. my chemo was carboplatin and taxol, taxol, taxol, and again carbo,taxol, taxol taxol got it once a week. Just hang in there it will pass let me know if you have any questions. Good luck!

Claire_in_Seattle

Was just talking to Main Squeeze about how one of his college pals back in the day was diagnosed with BC at something like 21.  This was prior to Betty Ford coming out when women didn't talk about BC, let alone men.  He went on to lead a normal life and have a family.

I can't even imagine the sense of isolation he must have felt at that time.

Check about getting your eggs harvested in terms of preserving fertility.  This could be very important down the road.  Good luck.

cakeisgreat

Hugs wwaterlily and everyone else here.  We all need hugs.  I was 37 at dx also...no family history of any cancer for generations...except me.  32 when I got melanoma.

Thank God for all the amazing ladies on this board.  We're with ya sista!

Twinmom77

I got my diagnosis 6 days after my 32nd birthday.  No cancer of any type in my family either.  I'm all too familiar with "the look" and being the youngest one in the doc offices.  It's always so surreal because most of the people there have the cancer "look" and I never felt like I did.  I was always thinking "Wow, these people are so sick" not really comprehending that I was one of them!  In that sense, it was a blessing because my 'I'm not sick' attitude really helped me get through treatment.  Maybe it was denial - I call it optimism!

I did have a hard time with being so young in the begining.  There were days where I felt I must be the only young person going through this, I must be the only young mom with cancer.  I know that's impossible, but I did sometimes feel that alone.  I got jealous of my friends that they could have "normal" lives.  Rest assured, those days of feeling alone and doubtful and fearful are fewer and farther between as you get through treatment!  Also, I had neoadjuvant chemo too and although my mass was smaller, the chemo took care of all the invasive cancer, so it can work!

Many hugs!!

TreadSoftly

Hi Wwaterlillyy,

You are definitely not alone, I am 29 y.o and was diagnosed with stage 2  BC last Sept.  It was such a shock for me too - no family history whatsoever either.

I know exactly what you mean when you describe the chemo room - I was the youngest there by far and also got 'the look' a lot. But believe me when I say it definitely gets easier to deal with.  I finished 4 cycles of chemo on Dec 30th and my hair is starting to grow again now, I now have almost complete coverage of my scalp.  I never lost my eyelashes or eyebrows.  I had surgery (lumpectomy) on Jan 20th and just had my planning appointment with Radiation oncologist today, will start 6 1/2 weeks of radiation next week. 

I used to feel so alone too, my boyfriend, family and friends were great but dont really understand what you are going through.  I spent many hours on this discussion board, reading others experiences and knowing I am not alone.  Also, attending local support groups for young people with cancer definitely helps.

Wishing you all the very best, (((HUGS!!))

 Treadsoftly 

Pure

Hi there,

I was 35 when diagnosed. I am being treated at Duke and live in NC as well. I am half way through chemo. I would STRONGLY encourage you tor ead the stage 3 thread also PM me if you have any questions at all-I am happy to help in any way.  Do you know your ER status? Where are you being treated? One of the issues brought up as ASCO this year is how DOCTORS don't deal with women wanting babies down the road-don't give up on that until you have done the research. If you go to MD Anderson site there are some articles on getting prego after chemo. They are the leading researchers on the subject.

Make sure you get zometa!

You can do this and beat it. 

shadow2356

Hello! You could consider calling the in your shoes hotline

Get immediate emotional relief.
Talk to a breast cancer survivor.
Call 1-800-221-2141

I did when I was first diagnosed because I was so worried about being ER/PR- and Her2+

The woman they connected me with was in her late 20's when diagnosed. She had finished treatment a number of years ago and had just had a baby girl. Many people do. I felt that hotline was a lifesaver back then. I hadn't found this site yet.

Good luck to you!!

debbie6122

Hi Wwaterlilly- First I wanted to send you big (((((((hugs)))))))) Yes you are young, I wanted to share with you my daughters story- She was 29 and had a large lump, was told it was a cyst and that it would go away, at age 30 she told them she wanted it removed because it hurt, long story short, it was BC 6cm stage 3c TN she had a mx with chemo, she ended up having DEIP It looks great, but my point is, she is doing wonderful, I hope this helps, even just a little!!  You are in my thoughts and prayers

debbie

DianaT

I was diagnosed with almost your same exact stats two years agon on Jan 7, 2008. I also am the only one in my family diagnosed with any type of cancer and felt very alone, at times, most times I still do.  I had herceptin today and was shocked to see another person that was about my age there.  I wanted to talk to her but when I got my IV going she was sleeping. You are not alone! 

wwaterlilyy

To all of my special & precious friends & sisters who have written here so far:

I do not know how to thank you for taking time to write here and help me see that I am not alone in my long journey. I wish I had a chance to meet with each of you in person and give you a very big hug. You all deserve the best!

Btw, I received the third cycle of my chemotherapy last week and I am getting back to myself. I noticed that each passing chemo week is worse than the one I had before. This week I felt like a dead person and did not have any energy at all to get up from my bed, also right after getting chemo I feel as if my ribs are burning, is that normal? Have you experienced such a thing before? I wonder how you deal with all the side effects of chemotherapy and what you do to recover from the side effects as soon as possible? I would really like to hear your suggestions or any useful tips that may help me feel better.

I wholeheartedly thank you again for your sisterhood, sincere messages and support. May almighty God bless you, I am sending you warm greetings and giving all of you big hugs, LOVE, Nil ( :  

cheers247

Hello Nil, I'm sorry you are on this journey, but know that we are all here for you, whenever you need us!  I am the first and only one in my family with BC too.  What type of chemo are you getting, I had Taxotere, Carboplatin, Adriamyacin, Cytoxan, Taxol and currently get Herceptin and Zometa (not chemo's)  I still have a burning sensation in my ribs, but I never knew what caused it.  Eating healthy (even when I didn't feel like eating) and exercising as much as possible helped me stay strong.  There were days, sometimes several when I didn't get out of bed, just too sick.  It seems like sometimes, time is what it takes.  Drink lots of fluids, and I always got extra fluid with my infusions, I think that helped.  Feel free to read my story at: www.caringbridge.org/visit/jessicam and you can PM me anytime too.  Keep us posted on how you are doing!  Much Love!!  Jessica

Edited for typo's... chemobrain!! 

horsedoc

I'm glad I found this thread on the forum.  I am not as young as some of you, but I am 37 and what I consider a young 37.  I'm a very optimistic person, but this week have started thinking maybe I'm just in denial.  I don't know.  I see it as a hurdle I need to get over so I can get on with the rest of my life.  I am also the only one in my family to get BC so nobody knows what to expect. I feel like they are freaked out about it and expecting me to be all down and out, but I'm not, I'm just trying to get on with things as normal as possible.  I would almost rather not talk to them sometimes because they are trying to ACT normal when I don't think they feel that way.  And that makes me feel bad & guilty because sometimes I don't want to talk to them.

I too have had comments about my "young" age at the hospital, and also have looked around and felt out of place.  Maybe in a way feeling like I don't "belong" there will help me overcome it better.  Then again if/when I start chemo I may be feeling a little different when I'm not feeling well.

One hard part for me is that I'm single and have no children.  I recently moved and have been looking forward to meeting new people and hopefully even maybe getting a boyfriend.  I have already been worried about potentially being "too old" to have children if/when I ever get married, and now with the BC and my age I am thinking I should write it off. And I'm writing off meeting someone and having a relationship until I'm totally through treatment. Any other singles out there dealing with this?

On the other hand though some good news is that I have a friend in her 30's who is pregnant with her first child 2 years after chemo tx! Yay!  So there is hope for those of you facing potential pregnancy after treatment.

angelsabove

I was dx....at 36. Went to my first support group the other night and met a newly Dx at 26. She was so frightened....I can say NO...you are not alone....there are lots of us out there....That is the really sad part about this crap....

LOTS OF LOVE 

Billynda

Hey I'm 27 too.  Also getting my 3rd round of treatment next week, although this is my second treatment.  I had my first in October.  I was dx'ed in May and through these months, I can't say it's gotten any easier - but you'll have good days and bad.  PM me anytime! 

Billynda

The Side Effects are different with each drug.  I'm on Taxol right now, what are they giving you?

Fidelia

Hi Nil,

so sorry you have this challenge so early on. Many young ladies post here and it is a very difficult thing to have to face this so soon especially if you are wanting to have a family once treatment is over. I am sure you have gone through the big list of things to discuss - that you have sought out a fertility specialist as well as the onc and the breast surgeon - youngsters need a larger support team because of the fertility aspect! There are a couple of fertility sparing procedures - like taking a freezing your ovarian tissue - that you should put in place if you can. Also - there is a new procedure for shrinking large tumours before surgery using microwave - very successful - very few side effects - plse google this - it is brand new and all over the net - nice guy in charge of the program - maybe you would be a good candidate - finally - have they told you whether yours is hormonally driven or not.If it is - they may be able to shrink it using hormonal treatment including chemical suppression of estrogen - again a lot easier on the system - sometimes you just need to ask about options - especially if you are getting really knocked around early on - you need to have a lot in reserve because you will be around a long time and this disease takes a lot of strength to fight.

Best of luck - it is very hard to ask details of your treatment when this is all so new and they take decisions and you are all wired up before you get a chance to ask - but I do think you should see if there are ways to treat this before surgery without devastating you and also - ensure that your specialists are aware that you are thinking ahead to the time when you will want to try for a family - often they forget this is an issue for the young patient

Fidelia

jmar19

I was 28 years old when I was originally diagnosed.  I know exactually how you felt.  I walked into oncology and felt like everyone was staring at me.  I tried to go to a support group and all the other woman were 60+.  This is what this group and many other organizations are for.  There are many online support organizations for young people with breast cancer.  I just came back from the annual conference for young people with breast cancer and I think they said there was almost 900 woman there.  That shows you that you are not alone.  If you ever want to chat one-on-one, please feel free to e-mail me at jmar19@comcast.net or if you want any other resources.  I collected a huge bag full of resources at the conference and I would be more than willing to share.  I too was diagnosed at stage III and am now stage IV, so I could also share my personal story with you if you want. 

Jen

LittleFlower

Hi Ladies!

I haven't been on the boards in a while, but i thought i'd check in tonight.  I wanted to share my story, cause I remember what it feels like to be in your shoes.  I was diagnosed in 2006 with stage 3 breast cancer.  I had a bilateral mastectomy, chemo, and rads.  I was er neg, her 2 post. with lymph node involvement.  I was 29 at the time with NO family history or "risk" factors.  So you're not alone! 

Even as i type, i cannot believe it will be 4 years in June that i had my surgery.  I tell you, i didn't think i'd make it through my treatment, nonetheless years later.  I still worry and think about this every day.. it is a life changing event without a doubt.  But here i am at 33 living a somewhat normal life.  I loved reading about survivors when i was first diagnosed, so I've come here tonight to give you all some hope... life can and will go on! 

Of course, I don't know what my future holds, but i pray it's a long and healthy life!  Good luck to all of you as you get through your treatments.  remember, one day at a time , and be kind to yourself.  This too shall pass!

LittleFlower