Feeling a bit in limbo

julie26

I have not posted in a long time but read other posts a lot.  To make a long story short, I was first dx in 2001 right breast then in 2005 left breast. I had lumpectomy, chemo, radiation, no node involvement either time.  I was having a hard time as I was going through a divorce after a 20+ marriage.  I moved on the best I could and have since remarried a man I met in a Cancer Support Group. I had been having pain above my left breast for awhile and the Drs. thought it was scar tissue from where my port was. I just knew it was cancer but they never found anything. (Mammograms were also clean on my 2 prior cancers, I just had "a feeling"). In May I put my hand where the pain was and there was a lump.  (Above my breast but below my collar bone).  Sure enough cancer.  I had a left mastectomy in June and started chemo (Taxol and Avastin) in July. 1 positive lymph node and CT Scan showed 6 -10 lung nodules.  I got good news on my last CT Scan.  All but 3 of the lung nodules have disappeared and the ones that are left have shrunk significantly.  For some reason my tumor markers went up. Onc. said she is not concerned about that as inflammation can cause markers to go up. She said the proof is in the scan.  I had an infected port which said could have caused the inflammation. I had it taken out and new one put in a few weeks ago.  Onc. said I will be on chemo indefinitely.  I am doing okay overall but have a terrible time with my sinuses.  Headaches, nasal congestion, nose bleeds, etc. I am going to be referred to ENT.  I was supposed to originally get the other breast removed and have reconstruction 3 to 6 months after my first surgery. That's before we knew I had lung mets.  Now I feel like I will never be able to get it done.  At first it did not bother me but it's hard sometimes to look in the mirror and see one breast not to mention I can't wear a lot of my clothes.  The Onc. did say since things are going so well, I may be able to take a break in about a year and move on to radiation. We are not sure if I can get radiation again or not since I've already had it in both sides. It all depends on if the area is in the prior radiation field or not.  I am pretty positive and upbeat most of the time but I just feel like I'm in limbo right now.  Plus I get so bored at home.  I have been put on Soc. Sec. Disability so I'm not working.   I'm sure a lot of you can relate to how I feel and I'm sure it's normal.  I'm wondering if anyone else has had problems with their sinuses and with tumor marker (CA 15-3) fluctuating.  (I'm going to post this both here and on the Stage IV forum). Thanks for listening.