I just found out my girlfriend has breast cancer

saffie

 My name is Tony and I just found out my girlfriend has breast cancer. she didnt tell me flat out but I figured it out because she suddenly wanted a pink ribbon tattoo and shes been distant. I just recently started looking up facts about breast cancer but i still know very little. I want to know what I i can for her. I know I have to be there for her and listen to her, but I know I can do more. I don't want her to go through this alone, but I'm not sure how to go about helping her. Some one please give me a little insight about what I can do to support her.

jinnypel

Saffie

You're already half way there ...

your shoulder to cry on

your hand to hold through all the waiting times

your ear for all the times she will share her fears real or imaginary

your heart to understand the torment that you and her will go through

your strength and wisdom to pull her through

Make sure you have somebody to support you as well.  It's hard for everyone when there is a bc diagnosis.  Do you know what the treatment will be?  I'm very sorry that you and her will go through this but together you can make it.

Best of luck for the future

Jinny xxx

Ezscriiibe

Hi, Tony. How long has she been your girlfriend? Why would she keep this from you, and yet get a pick ribbon tattoo, which is going to be pretty noticeable to a boyfriend?

I think communication in your relationship needs a little work.

If you truly suspect she is facing breast cancer, or at least had a very close brush/scare with it, then just come out and ask her.

Ask her what she needs you to do, that you want to help and support her and that her health is very important to you.

If she insists she doesn't have it or didn't have a scare with it, then there's not much you can do.

I can't speak for other women with breast cancer, or who have had a recent brush with it, but for me, it would be more important to hear my loved one say they care and they are there to listen to whatever I want to say, even if it means I rant and kick and yell and cry. 

saffie

I dont know. i just found out today. and shes knows i know, but i havent asked her any questions yet because ive been doing as much research as i can so i can ask the right questions

saffie

ive only been with her 4 weeks. and she didnt want to tell anyone. i picked up on it

sheila888

saffie...If you girlfriend is DX with BC, she should be having lot of Doctor appointments and the pink tatoo would be the last think in her mind. Are you sure?????????????????

saffie

shes been distant and crying. plus when i said i know why shes getting the tattoo she said i knew youd figure it out. also she just foundout and i know she had a doctors appt last week.

debbie6122

Saffee- It sounds to me like she wants to talk to you about it, but just dosnt know how to,Maybe she is afraid you will leave her, especially if she has to have a mx(masectomy)  right now she is dealing with a lot of fear and on an emotional journey, you should sit her down and ask her is she wants to talk about it, and let her know that you wll be there for her and that no matter what she goes thru its not going to change how you feel about her, that is if thats how you feel, since you have been together for only a short time, it probably makes it that much harder to talk to her about it, just hug her and let her know you care-

Also let her know about this place so when and if she needs to talk we will be here for her, please let us know how she is, we will help any way we can

debbie

Chris18

Hey Tony,

I saw you're post and honestly I know exactly what you are going through! My girlfriend and I have been going out for a little over a year now and she just recently found out that she has Breast Cancer. She didn't tell me right away, but I noticed some hints including her becoming distant from me. Cancer is a battle, a battle fought not only by the person with the big C, but also with those who care about them, especially his or her significant other. You want to help them as much as you can and you constantly ask yourself "what else can you do to help ease the situation?" I have come to the point that you can only comfort and be there for he or she. My girlfriend, soon to be fiancee, and I planned to get married later this year and now this life threatening illness has come between us. She is going through Chemotherapy now and is on medication. She has those moments where she just breaks down and starts doubting everything we have planned in our future and then she doubts our relationship. I know that she is going through the one of the toughest things in life to face, but it deeply hurts me when she says things like, "I think we should breakup, Im not a good girlfriend, I treat you badly, or You shouldn't have to go through this." Honestly, I want to be honest with her and tell her that yes it hurts me, but I am not sure how she would react so I reassure her that she is more than an amazing girlfriend to me, which truthfully she is! I love her to death and cannot even begin to imagine what I would with my life if she is not a part of it.  

DougMac

I've gone through the same thing. Except I didn't find this forum in time. I screwed up and lost my girlfrend, but kept my friend.

I've been trying to find advice to help, and keep her around. We've gone through a lot, and still an uphill battle to go through.