DCIS + Mastectomy + Implant, Anyone else?

valc

In January 2008 I was recalled for a mammogram I had 8 core biopsy's which then diagnosed DCIS I had a total mastectomy with a saline implant at the time of operation so that I was not completely flat it is now 21 months since my op although very grateful for my life and live to see my grandchildren grow up and new grandchildren that are due in June I some times regret having the implant I find it very uncomfortable under my skin I still have pain where the Lymph nodes were taken  and find some tasks hard like mashing potatoes. I also find I'm not very symmetrical also with the nipple missing my 8 inch scar is fading I sometimes feel my body is ruined and I feel so bad with some women out there who have or about to lose there life I have thought about reconstruction but don't know if I can put myself and husband and family through all that with a 13 hour op and the risks it might hold. I was wondering if there is some one out there feeling as I do at times I have had a very supportive family and a devoted husband good working colleagues my husband says he does not care what I look like he loves me for who I am I am over weight by 4 stone so my BMI is to high they wont consider me for any further surgery.

Deirdre1

valc:  I know how you feel - I have only recently had a second reconstruction surgery to correct my non symetrical chest..  I had a bi-lateral and the ps screwed everything up!  I looked like an abstract painting until the recent surgery to correct the reconstruction.  I won't mislead you, having the corrective surgery doesn't make everything "alright", but I do see myself smile more and feel more "normal" than I have since my dx in Jan of 2007..  This if f___king hard!  More difficult than it needs to be I think - if only when the doc's first dx us we were assigned a psychologist along with our other consultants.. Our body image (and it doesn't matter if you are not "defined by your breasts" or not!) changes so drastically and I certainly saw myself as "ruined"..  Only recently, and again after the second surgery, do I feel that there is any hope of coming out of the funk that can go hand in hand with the dx..  It wasn't my husband that cared what I looked like it was me and I spent a lifetime without makeup, never dieted, nursed my kids, excercised on a daily basis walking about 5-10 miles a day for my health ...  Looks, I thought, didn't matter to me - but this surgery, mastectomy, does something to us that really is huge..  I have never had body image problems before and I believe we should all be allowed to feel the loss of our "normal" body...  There is of course a new normal, but it is, I'm sure very much like any other human being who had had an amputation of any kind.  There is a way back, and for me some of that is the corrective reconstruction (with implants) but for each of us it is different.. but I want you to know that no matter the level of cancer the blessing that early stage bc is you have the right and probably should expect to grieve... I know I have been grieving and the more someone says it is a "blessing" that you "only" had DCIS the more depressed I seemed to become.  This is an awful dx and I believe we have to expect to make room in our busy sometimes overwhelming lives to grieve the loss of a part of our body... Good luck and I wish you the best - by your description of the weight I imagine you are in Europe so the laws that protect us here in the states to have a reconstruction to make things right doesn't apply to you..  But perhaps, in time, you can be eligible to have the reconstruction that might (MIGHT) help to make you more like your old self.  Good luck and I'll be sending you bright light and the best of wishes for you to feel good in your skin again!  Best, Deirdre