Scared about tomorrow

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I have another 3month check-up tomorrow. I am switching doctors, because we have moved to another country since my treatment ended. I met her already before at a cancer-event and I really liked her, so that's not the problem. My last check three months ago with my BS was good. He did an ultrasound of my double mastectomy scar and my axilla region and all was fine. I made my appointment last week and that very day I found an area that feels weird to me (see other thread). It feels like a ridge, or bump right in that little squishy pit between the inner corner of the axilla, the sternum and about 3 fingers down from my clavicle. I have since thought about it constantly....could it be a recurrence that grew so much in three months' time??? My hubby stillthinks it's just my rib pushing the muscle in a weird way because he can only feel it if I hold my arm a certain way, but I'm so unsure. To me it feels like a lump that feels different depending on the movement of my arm (stretching of the skin). My DH is away on business and I'm just a nervous mess. After dropping the kids off at school tomorrow I'll go to my appointment but I am so scared that she'll find something and would recommend a biopsy or else. I hate feeling so weak and vulnerable. It's just hard to shake the fear : ( If it was just me and my DH I guess I could manage better, but I have to little ones and I get lost in my fear about not being there for them if the cancer came back.

 Just needed to get this off my chest,

Thanks for listening to my scanxiety,

Comments

  • hollyann
    hollyann Member Posts: 2,992
    edited January 2010

    ((((Hanami))))....I know how you feel...I had the same thing happen to me and it turned out to be cording.....It is a benign condition and usually resolves itself......Also I have scar tissue in that area from my axillary node removal.......Good luck tomorrow and please let us know how things go.......

  • hanami
    hanami Member Posts: 30
    edited January 2010

    Thanks for your kind encouragement, Hollyann. I so hope it's cording or scar tissue or anything. It seems like 3 months time would be to quick for something bad to grow, but with c.... you never know, it seems. I'm still awake trying to get some rest, but so far nor luck. I will report back tomorrow for sure. Again, thank you so much.

  • Mania
    Mania Member Posts: 4
    edited January 2010

    Hi, I'm new to this forum and the whole website. I just need to talk to someone. I was diagnosed with a low to intermediate grade DCIS on June of 2007, had lumpectomy on July, mammosite(radiation to lumpectomy site only) for 5 days, and been on tamaxefin fsince then. My DCIS was never found with mammogram or ultrasound. It was found by MRI and MRI-guided biopsy. Two weeks ago I did my annual MRI and a 4 mm lesion was found at the site of lupectomy, they checked it with ultrasound and found it, so they did ultrasound guided biopsy. Today, I got the results and it was negative for cancer and showed fibrosis. I"m 50% relieved, however, I'm thinking what if the lesion found in MRI is not the same region detected in ultrasound. What if the scar tissue shows up in ultrasound and is negative. My DCIS was 7 mm the first time and still was not detected by ultrasound. How come a 4mm lesion enhanced in MRI is detected by ultrasound now? Did this happen to anyone? Is the location detected in MRI and ultrasound can be accurately matched? I will see my Doc Friday and will insist for MRI-guided biopsy. This is my life and I want to be 100% sure. I also read that 18 months after surgery and radiation MRI can distinguish between the scar tissue and cancer recurrence. Wishfull thinking is not always good when you are dealing with cancer. Thank you for reading and I'll appreciate all the comments.

  • candie1971
    candie1971 Member Posts: 4,820
    edited January 2010

    Good luck to you  tomorrow,hanami. I will check in on you!!

  • hanami
    hanami Member Posts: 30
    edited January 2010

    Ok I am back from the Doc (first time seeing her) and I am impressed. She was really nice, listened to all my concerns, took not of my history and previous treatment etc. Then she did a "breastexam" off the scar area etc. When I told her about the lump she said that she could feel sth. too, but that it felt to her like scar tissue or fat. But to reassure me, she sent me down to to a sonogram. The main doc down there and her assistant did 2 different ultrasounds (one normal, one stronger one, I guess) and they both saw NOTHING. They said they can kind of feel it, but that it does not show up at all on the US. So their opinion is also "fat" or scartissue....because they said if it was something other at a size that was palpable it would have to show up. They also mentioned again, that my post radiation mastectomy skin is still very soft and kinda puffy (like my BS told me before 3mths ago)

    So back to normal for me (hopefully quickly, since I really made myself sick with worry yesterday). Thanks again for checking in here with me. It was really appreciated.

     Hugs,

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