recurrence

patti4511

was diagnosed with recurrence to lungs bones and eyes,now relatives and friends are calling me up saying dont you give up you have 4 children to think about then i have others saying its ok they will be your legacy ,why do people think it is an instant death sentence when you have a recurrence did not think i was going any where but maybe they know best have not even been told what treatment plan yet just told last fri waiting for remaining test to come back and oncologist is sending me for a second opinion so will not know until Wed what is going on 

Anonymous

Patti4511, because they don't know what to say.  It comes under the "stupid things people say."

I held off telling everybody.  I still haven't told everyone.  Why?  Because, like a friend of mine said, they look at you differently.  One of my friends was soooooooooo upset by my new diagnosis.  She still doesn't like to talk about the realities of this disease.  Whe was with me when I found out I probably had it and through pre-chemo tests.  I had to tell her to treat me like she always did....MEAN!  LOL  I told her she had to be mean to me.  I'm not dying.  We laugh about that a lot now.  But she still doesn't like to talk about it in depth.

You should tell these people to stop....that you haven't even gotten a treatment plan yet.  That you are going to fight and you need them to be strong with you.  Yeah, the can help if help is needed, but don't treat you with kid gloves. 

In fact when I talked to another friend of mine I told her that she had to remain calm before I gave her any info. 

Hang in there, sweetie.  Let us know what your plans are.  A second opinion is great and I think it's great that your onc wants this.

Hugs

blondiex46

sorry to hear about your recurrence.  People should just shut up if they don't know what to say but that doesn't happen. Do let us know what they say after wednesday...

Sandy

susanmary

So sorry to hear about the recurrence. Hand in there and stay positive

Take care