OMG! What the h@ll is wrong with me?

goldenlotus

I thoujght I'd stick my toes in the waters and take a look at some of the other boards on the site.

I went to the anxiety board, read two posts and ran away crying.  How on earth am I going to get through tomorrow (stereotactic biopsy) or ever educate myself enough to know what to do after the biopsy is over, if I can't read a relatively "tame" board?  I'm a nervous wreck, and to put frosting on the cake, I fell this morning and sprained my foot, so now I'm in a splint!

I just want to hear the words that the radiologist jumped the gun and that my "cluster" is benign!You are all such strong and amazing women, I'm such a cry baby, thanks and I'm so sorry that you all have to witness my pity party!

NativeMainer

golden--you are NOT a crybaby.  You have good reason. to cry, we all do.  I for one have cried at every doctor's appontment since January 2007, and am aiming for a 5 year run.  What we go through counts as trauma by anyone's definition.  Talk to your docs, get one of them to give you a prescription for something to help with anxiety. That will help keep a lid on things, and let you get some sleep, Not being able to sleep just makes things worse emotionally. 

I'm so sorry you sprained your foot--just what you need on top of everything else!  I'm praying for a B9 biopsy result.  

rinna40

I am always amazed at the strength of these ladies. But then I look back at the year I've had and I think I've been pretty strong too. The hardest part for me was when I was first diagnosed. It was the unknown and it was scary. Once treatment starts and the mystery is gone, you just do it. Then, it seems like all of a sudden, your done treatment....

Don't worry about how overwhelmed you feel now. Take a deep breath and move forward. My hugs to you, and please let us know your results. B9..... 

Kitchenwitch

Golden, Every time I've gone to the "depressed and anxious" board I burst into tears and leave feeling worse than when I went in! It's not really a tame board. 

My advice for you tomorrow, for your stereo. biopsy is - PLEASE get someone to give you some hydrocodone (aka vicodin) or some codeine-based painkiller BEFORE you have it. I did (my sister's advice) and it made things easier and better. It was still painful - but the doc was late. I think if he'd done it on time the painkiller would have kicked in at the right time.

Then, after the biopsy, I wish someone had told me I would NOT want to be without a bra. So I slept in mine. Just would have been nice to be told not to try taking it off (of course my boobs are big and it really hurt when the biopsied one was allowed to just "hang").

I don't remember if I did or not, but can you plan some kind of nice treat for yourself for afterwards? Fun magazine, or rent a movie, or have some ice cream at home waiting?

I had mine just a little over a month ago and it was not fun, but the pain was so much better the next day. I wish I'd known that it would be an unpleasant procedure, and a sort of painful day, followed by tremendous improvement the next day. Two days after I felt almost back to normal. (The bruising is alarming). Don't mean to go on and on... come back tomorrow and let us know how it went. You will get through! Don't worry about feeling like a baby - this stuff is no fun. But it is doable. Take it from me - such a big baby I insist on gas for getting my teeth cleaned! (Of course, I also love gas...!)

bookgirl

Anxiety can swallow you whole. for me it can be worse than the treatments! There are meds to help, check with you DR, it will as my DR says "take the edge off" That is usually enough to let you find your strength and remember how fearless you really are! Anxiety is a big nasty beast I 've seen him myself! Thinking good thoughts about you!

Laurie09

It took me a few weeks after my diagnosis before I could really delve into reading about it.  At first, it was too overwhelming, but with a little time, I found I could read more and more.

Don't worry about it now.  Wait until you get your diagnosis, and talk with your dr. That will give you a lot of information... Then you can take it at your own pace as far as reading further if you need to.

Hoping you get good news!  Fingers crossed. 

jancie

Get your PCP to prescribe some valium.  I take one each time I go for a test or when I get too anxious waiting for the results.  That drug works wonders!!

It does get easier once you get a treatment plan in place (if needed) - you end up just going through the motions.  Then it is anxiety time again when you have your follow ups.  This is why you should always have valium on hand.

Kitchenwitch - I have yet to find a dentist that uses gas!  I cringe at the sound of the drills, etc. and am a total basketcase when I go in for check ups, etc.

goldenlotus

Thanks girls.  well, my BIL just called from Europe to tell me "good luck",  I told him "luck" has nothing to do with it.  anyway, as he was getting off the phone he said "love you......"  that gave me a good laugh - in 18 years he's never said that to me.  I'm sure he's had more than a few regrets that that I'd ever married his brother LOL!  either that, or he's had a few drinks - :::evil grin::: 

Thanks for all the "pep" talks - the ER dr. gave me some percoset today for my foot - I haven't taken it b/c the pain is not "that" bad, but I think it's like vicodin, maybe I'll take some tomorrow before I go in.....

Jayne_in_UK

Golden I just spotted this thread and want to wish you good luck for your stereotactic biopsy tomorrow.

I also had a stereotactic biopsy after results of core needle biopsies proved inconclusive. For me the stereotactic was far less painful. I had local anesthetic for both, but honestly I could hardly feel a thing with the stereotactic. Also I didn't bruise, although I was warned that I probably would. The nurses gave me a cold pack to hold on the area for a while afterwards and it seemed to do its job. This was just my experience and I know it is different for different people. Kitchenwitch I'm sorry you had such a bad time with yours.

Golden the stage you are at now  with all the testing is the worst part. It will get better. Sending good thoughts for b9 results your way.

Kitchenwitch

Jancie: Keep looking! My teeth wouldn't be in the shape they are if not for gas! 

 Golden: I meant to say it wasn't that fun but it wasn't that bad. It IS survivable. Especially with some valium! It's so sweet your BIL called. I will be thinking about you tomorrow!  

sweatyspice

Good luck Golden!  

Valium or Xanax, ice packs, and be prepared to wear a bra 24/7 for a little while.  Your breast will probably hurt if it jiggles around while healing.

goldenlotus

sweaty - Hah1 Ha1  I wish my breast would jiggle LOL!  Well, maybe with a little swelling, I'll be that buxom girl I've always dreamed of being :-)

I don't have any valium or xanax, but I had a few glasses of wine this evening - does that count? heh! Heh!

Ezscriiibe

Well, then, I'm a big fat crybaby, too, because I just read the Angels thread and I can barely function.

ryjuem

Nothing is wrong with you!  The anxiety is sometimes worse than the procedures or treatments.  I see a lot of people recommending meds to deal with anxiety...works, but I also tried to find distractions - NetFlix is great because you can watch all kinds of funny movies and crazy documentaries instantly online!

sweatyspice

I was recommending antianxiety meds for the procedure itself.  I wish they had NetFlix available for stereotactic biopsies...but nooooooooo.

lvtwoqlt

If you are reading this just try to relax - hard to do I know. I have had 3 sterotactic biopsies, two times b-9. the first one I had Feb 2005 was done without any anti-anxiety meds, I was like a coiled spring on that table. The 2nd one I had Aug 2006, the doctor doing the test prescribed me some valium to take after I got to the hospital, I was so relaxed during the procedure, I joked with the staff. The third time (April 2007), they were trying to get all the scheduled biopsies done by noon so the doctor could get to a seminar he was leading at 2:00. I was the last one scheduled and had taken the meds just before they called me. Not much time to take effect I still joked with the staff about expecting Bill Murray to come walking in (like Groundhog Day). I walked out of the hospital like a drunk sailor. Just keep a tight sports bra on and ice the area to reduce swelling and brusing.

Sheila

barbe1958

Wishing you good luck today and want to add a signature line that I saw just after diagnosis. Someone on bco says:

You don't have to be brave. You just have to show up.

I love it! And it has really helped. Of course you're scared! We all were too. When I first told my kids, my daughter (26) posted on Facbook that she was "trying to be brave". I immediately called her and told her she didn't have to be brave! I think that really helps when you know you are reacting normally.

We will be with you during the procedure, just picture us as elephants in the room. Gentle hugs.

goldenlotus

Thanks y'all for the tremendous support and advice.  In a few short hours from now.......I'll have my boob hanging through an hole in a table - OMG!  I just went out and purchased a sports bra (thanks for that advice   ), I don't have any valium, maybe they'll give me some?!  I hope they tell me something.  Monday is a holiday!  I'll check in later.  thanks again