20 years NED?

Anonymous

I have a friend who is 20 year out from stage IIb.  She tells everyone she knows, that she is free from recurrance because she has been so "positve", does visualization, and eats fruit and veggies, and only thinks good thoughts.  She kind of chastizes anyone who may have those negative days, by saying that she attributes her BC to her positveness, and that's why it doesn't come back.  She kind of irks me.  Chemo never really made her sick because she was positive, she never needed radiation, never had SE.  It's almost like she gloats over her 20 year NED, and looks down on anyone who may feel less positive than her, or whatever......

Gitane

People want us to "be positive" and I think that is asking a lot.  I even tend to think the person who says it doesn't understand what they're saying if they haven't had BC.  However, this person would drive me crazy.  Nobody can convince me that  "positiveness" is a cure for BC.  As much as we all try so hard to take care of ourselves, we don't need someone else to try to make us feel guilty or inferior.  Glad I don't know Miss Perfect.

diana50

this whole experience is very very hard. i think we have days where we are farily positive and days where it is all gloom and doom.  for me; the past 7 and half years have been full of anxiety; fear...then more confidence...some days good and other days not so good...i think each of us figures out a way to deal with a stage III diagnosis. one thing i know for sure; the sun always rises and the moon usually shows up at night.  one day at a time...one night at a time...and the days turn into weeks...months...and years.  i am glad i am alive; i am happy i have not relapsed ...but i think once diagnosed with cancer one does have something to deal with for the rest of their life.  i think that is what we do; we deal with it. some days are great...and other days not so great.  i think it is like life; some days are good and easy...and some not so much.  it is just part of the cycle., 

 anyone who has had any kind of traumatic event in their life; we are are resilent as breast cancer survivors.  remember....being resilent doesn't ignore how hard it is.  you women are strong....even when you don't think you are....you are doing great .  just be yourself and where you are at the moment. it really is ok.

diana50

Mom3

I do think our attitude has a lot to do with how well we do. Having said that, I don't  think it's everything. There is more to it than just being positive. If that were the case then I'm sure more people that had cancer would be alive today. I think in addition to being positive we have to eat well, exercise, take supplements, etc. etc. Maybe she's just fortunate. Good for her though. I'm glad she hasn't had a recurrence. One day I hope to be 20 yrs out. If her thinking that being positive helps her, more power to her!! JMO.

KerryMac

You know, I was thinking about this the other day.

When I was misdiagnosed, I was told "don't worry, it isn't Cancer." I believed that 100%. I really, really, really didn't think it was Cancer...(obviously)

So, you could say I was as positive as you could possibly be. I was told it wasn't cancer so I didn't worry about it, and didn't think much of it really. But that didn't stop the damn thing growing, and going forth and multiplying. Actually, I would have been better off if I had been more worried!

So, I think "thinking positive" is bollocks in terms of preventing a reoccurance. 

I do believe you have a better quality of life if you have a positive attitude, but I don't think you can think your cancer out of coming back. 

 

hollyann

Shana sounds to me as if she has forgotten her real experience with BC.......Some women kind of have selective amnesia when it comes to stuff like that.....My next door neighbor told me the same crap about being positive and that I had to eat certain foods and all that crap too.......She is 14 yrs NED from stage 2 BC...BUT she hit hers with not only chemo but radiation AND a bone marrow transplant......I think THAT and the Good Lord above are the reasons she is still NED...NOT her so-called positive attitude...WHich of course she no longer has and is now a bitter devorcee twice devorced........Go figure.......

Running_Violet

I think that lifestyle choices such as eating well, exercising, getting enough sleep, reducing stress, etc. are important and that they may help one stay NED or survive a little longer, but that these things in of themselves are not sufficient.  When I hear examples of women who have done so well, such as your friend, I believe that they are incredibly fortunate to have won the "genetic jackpot".  For just as there are examples like your friend, there are plenty of examples of women who are doing all the "right things" who develop breast cancer or who die from it anyway.   

Diana63

I hate it when people tell me to stay positive and it wont come back, I say you know the cemetery is full of some of the sweetest, positive ladies you will ever meet. Or they will say you beat it because someone needs you, I say really then all of the other ladies that have died didnt have any family or children?

I think its how they make themselves feel better, they cant think that it can happen to anyone, maybe even them.