January Mastectomy

burley

Cathy-sorry to hear of the ongoing problems with your incision.  I know that must be frustrating for you, especially if you have to miss those events coming up.  But, yes!  It could be worse!  I'm glad you're getting to meet with your surgeon on Wednesday.

All o.k. here for the most part-just had a crappy couple of days after chemo on Thursday, but I'm starting to come out of it.  I was doing a close up examination of my eyelashes, and I only have 4 bottom lashes on one eye, and 2 on the other.  The top ones are very sparse,and very short-not like real eyelashes at all.  REALLY?  C'mon now...why did the lashes have to go too?  Blpppp.  I seriously hate this cancer crap some days.  Oh well.  Like Cathy said, could be worse, right?

grdnslve

well--today was my last radiation treatment-yeah!!!!  they gave me a certificate signed by the techs.  how sweet is that!  as soon as i get some energy will bake them something to say thanks. 

got to chatting with a lady in the waiting room.  this is her 2nd go around with cancer & treatment, and her husband is in hospital right now with bladder cancer.  kind of puts things in perspective...seems no matter how awful i feel during this, there is still so much to be greatful for.  could be so much worse. 

ended my visit on a happy note though--ran into leah58 in the waiting room & she looks wonderful!!!!  she is starting to get some hair again & (i'm jealous) eyelashes!!!!!!!!!

frosty1

A friend on another forum mentioned the TaTa reunion in Vegas this October.  Said she went last year for the first time and had a blast.  It sounds like fun ... 

I'm feeling great ... fatigue and breathlessness gone, swelling mostly gone, almost feel normal, except I have no hair. 

Start herceptin only next week.  I've been reading up and they say the worst SEs are right at the beginning, so it should be a piece of cake.  I hope!

pbebow

You ladies are truly remarkable!  To have such great attitudes and spirits through all of this!  I don't know that I could be this strong if I had to go through all that you are going through!  You amaze me, indeed!

Brenda, I have heard a lot about the TaTa reunion, sounds like a blast, just not doable for me... for one thing, October is Harvest around here and DH works from sun up to sun down every day, so with little kids in school, it's just not happening!  Plus, we are saving every penny for my "I kicked cancer's ass and got perky new boobs to boot!" trip in January!  Non-stop to CANCUN baby!!!  Of course, that depends on what shape the beach and water is by the time January rolls around, but if Cancun isn't availabe we'll find another tropical beach location to visit!  I guess I'd rather spend it with DH then some ladies that I don't really know, no offense, but if I get one trip, I have to make the most of it...

Lola, congrats on finishing Rads!  One more step towards recovery!!!  Whoohoo!!!  And you are right, it always puts it in perspective, there is always someone that is having a rougher time then we are!

Kim, so sorry about the darn eye lashes, seriously, they could at least let you keep those, but I am sure that you are still beautiful!!!

Haven't heard from Marianne lately, what's up?  Too busy golfing?

And Kat, where are those pictures of your black tie affair?

Have a great day ladies!  Both of my kids are going to sleep overs this evening, so DH and I might get to go out to eat or something with no kids!!!!   Whoohoo!!!

Paula

TNgolfer

Hey Paula (or should I say "'hey, hey Paula")

I have been absent for a while, but trying to catch up when I can.  I honestly have to tell you all that I have been more knocked down by depression than anything else.  I, of course, was pretty emotional when I first received my diagnosis, but I knew that I had truly great doctors who were on top of their game: a breast surgeon who ignored 2 benign biopsies to find the cancer that didn't show on a mammogram, a great plastic surgeon who has done a marvelous job to make me feel whole again and look good to the outside world.  I thought I had a great attitude and things seemed to be going great.  I dodged the radiation and chemo bullets and thought it was pretty smooth sailing for me compared to what a lot of others have gone through.  5 surgeries, a hematoma and problems with anesthesia/pain meds, but considering everything, I didn't really ever feel sick and managed to recover quickly and well from everything.

I have been on Arimidex for 3 months and didn't really notice any bad SE's.  I went though a breast cancer and depression clinical trial so I actually received some great counseling as well and of course had my cyber sisters for support.  Yesterday, I found myself in the depths of depression and am beginning to think it is a SE of the Arimidex.  My Onc is out of the office until tomorrow.  I didn't take that pill yesterday or today. 

I know a lot is going on with the rest of my life:  hubby living several states away (for job reasons) and all my family in other states.  I have great neighbors and friends that are always there for me if I need them.  I feel pretty unsettled due to the job and housing market issues, but I can usually handle those things in stride....have been in tougher spots and didn't crack.  That's why I am thinking it is the Arimidex.  I don't want to have to take that and some damned anti-depressant.  So instead of losing my hair, I am losing my mind.  May decide to go to NY for a long visit with hubby and family.  Can't make a decision.  So my sisters, I ask for your prayers that I find the right path out of this.

Marianne

Marianne

pbebow

Marianne,

I am sooooo sorry!  It does kind of sound like a SE...   I would recommend talking to your onc as soon as you can about it, in the mean time maybe do some research on it on-line...  And I would whole-heartedly suggest planning a long weekend at the very least (4 of July is the perfect time) to go and see DH and family!  Friends are great, neighbors are great, but sometimes you just need family, and especially DH!  I think that will do you a world of good!  Let us know what you find out about the SE's...  And there is always the golf course!

I hope today is better for you!  Thinking about you!

Paula

bcincolorado

Debbie:  I started crying reading this!  I know how difficult it is to pretend everything is ok when you just don't feel like that and you just want to stay in bed and heal and grieve and rest.

Cathy:  I am so sorry for your healing struggles.  I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers for healing so you can attend your family events.

Marianne:  I am so sorry you are gonig through this.  The seperation from your DH and family is probably a lot of it.  I have my DH here and my DD lives here....and my mom lives downstairs! (yes, and it isn't all it is cracked up to be, believe me!).  Sometimes though I think the only people who really understand how I feel is all of you here at BCO.  I was so surprised to find myself in tears several times this weekend.  I don't want to go on an anti-depressant either.  I don't think I'm depressed, just grieving the old "me".  And it will take time for all of us to get used to the new "me" we have all become.

I have been reading but not posting as much lately.  I don't know if I'm just tired or what (I refuse to think it is depression though).  You are all on my mind and I pray for all you daily.

Paula (the other one)

neversurrender

Lola - Congrats on finishing your rads - another step forward !! Yeah !

I have also been struggling lately.  I felt like I sailed through the surgery/recovery.  Now, I am feeling the depression hitting.  I try to do things to snap myself out of it, and some days are better than others, but it is still a struggle.  I am very thankful to have all of Team January.  I feel most of the time, that you are really the only ones who "get it".

I have spent today with my 2 oldest DDs and 4 of their friends watching Twilight and New Moon.  We are heading off for an Eclipse party and then to the theaters for the 12:01am premiere of Eclipse.  The Twilight series (and especially Jacob/Taylor Laughtner) is huge in my house right now, so this is a big event !  Six screaming, swooning, giggling 12-13 year old girls....give me strength

Hugs Team January.

sunsnow

Hi All, 

Same here on the reading and not posting lately. Life is good here. I'm learning to live with my new body. We had to go to Mexico for a trip with my husband's firm. I was a nervous wreck about flying and lymphedema. I know the odds are slim with 4 nodes removed, but my mom had it terribly when I was a child, so I have a somewhat irrational fear. The trip was nice, and I survived being in a bathing suit in front of a group of 60 people who were all looking at my chest. At least they weren't looking at my thighs, which would have made me far more self-conscious!!!

I have to admit that I go through a roller coaster of emotions at times. The two biggest triggers for me are lack of sleep (surgical menopause sucks!!) and going through things for the first time since surgery, i.e. flying, graduations, seeing my dentist and retelling the story.  I live most of the time in the real world, but sometimes I have to tell the story or do something that has some risk, and I'm thrown back into "cancer world." I'm hoping it will be like the process when my mom died: I had to go through the seasons, and then the next year I could say "well, I got through it last year, so it will be easier this time."

Today is a lazy summer day in our house. The June gloom (fog) hasn't cleared much, so I made a pot of marinara sauce and I'm forcing my kids to go through their closets and purge. It's child abuse if you ask them--and I woke them at 11 in the morning. I guess I'm working my way back to reclaiming my title of Meanest Mom in the World. Happy Summer to all!!

Maura 

TNgolfer

Paula, Paula & Sally,

Thanks for the posts.  I am so glad that I could come back to my friends at Team January!  It is a really unique group that we have.  It is better than any face-to-face support group....we have 24 x 7 hours and the room is never too hot or too cold.  More importantly, no one "gets it" (whatever "it" might be that day) better than each and all of you.  I'm never afraid to just lay out how I feel; whether it's confusion, rage, sadness, or the physical aches, pains, sleeplessness, etc.  We have all traveled this road on different paths, but we are travelling as a group.

It is so hard being a woman, a wife, a mother.  I have always been the one that fixed everything for everybody else.  It isn't easy to switch gears.

I do think that there is a bit of depression that comes along with different treatments and also when treatment ends....there's some real separation anxiety.  But I think what I am going through is more than that....I will call the oncologist tomorrow and see what he thinks.  I would like to try staying off of this "crap" for a month and see if it makes a difference.

 thanks for all your kind wishes.  I will let you know what happens,

Love,

Marianne

burley

Marianne-so sorry to hear what you're going through.  I sincerely hope it's a side effect, and that something can be done about it.  It's enough to try and conquer all the cancer crap everyday without having to be depressed on top of it.

I suffer from depression (have since I was a teenager), so all of this has made it much worse.  I've maintained as good as I can, but when I do get down, it's bad.  I cry the day before each chemo treatment and tell my DH "I don't wanna go!"  Then he does a great job of comforting me, and talking me through it.  I'm on meds, and because of chemo and everything, they haven't changed any of them.  But my doc says my fluctuating low blood counts are also to blame...so I'm going with that.

After this is all done-chemo, the rest of my surgeries-I plan to be happy!  I'm sure I'll still be on meds, but I will be so glad everything is over, there won't be any other way I can be!  Next year...maybe January (if I'm lucky, December.)

I'm sure there will be down times-I'll be scared each time I have to have some sort of scan or test-but there won't be anything I can't handle after going through chemo and such.

I tell ya-getting hair back will be an instant pick me up!  And getting these damn TE"s out!

To everyone else also feeling down, remember-it could be worse!  We are a group of very strong women, and I'm proud to be a member of Team January.

TNgolfer

Kim,

Thanks for sharing....getting the TE's out will be a truly uplifting experience (pardon the pun!).  You will feel so much better.  I know I did and believe everyone else did as well. 

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain!!! and I know Team January are some of the best dancer's I know......but I do also know this storm will pass!

Marianne

faithandfifty

TEAM JANUARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel like we need to light a campfire and sit around tonight and tell stories, sing songs and hug one another over roasting marshmellows.

As the resident 'expert' (LOL) or at least the one around here with the longest experience...... I think that everything that everyone is expressing is 'right on target' for the BC experience. Many have labeled the 'aftermath' as Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.

At the time of dx, there are so many decisions and actions and immediate things that must be done....... then there is a deafening silence as life moves on -- with or without you.

In any case, I'm one for reaching out for medications to 'help' with symptoms. I can't remember if I rambled on this thread about my conversation with my PCP at the end of April. We talked at length as to whether I needed to be on an anti-depressant. She decided that I was NOT depressed, based on my description.

She did feel that I was indeed having 'emotional' responses to all that had happened since my surgery. She felt comfortable with my continuing to rely on the 'anti-anxiety' meds she prescribed at about the time of my surgery. (I call them my happy pills.)

Way back in Jan I was taking one pill a day. Before my infection, I was down to maybe 3 or 4 a week. Then the infection. Back to daily...... Now I probably don't take but maybe 1 a week.

I am on Atavan. It has been a life-saver. I took one just before going to the dentist a couple weeks back. Strangely enough I took one before going out to dinner with friends.... It is hard being 'cancer gal' when people mean well, but say the kookiest things.

When my hubby was still in FL for those 3 weeks, I was relying on the Atavan to keep me company.

On a whole different note. Today was my first session with my private yoga teacher. She is brilliant, as I knew she would be. She spoke of rebuilding my spirit, as I rebuild my body & mind. I will continue to work with her through out the summer. My gift to myself.

We will stick together, and certainly not leave anyone behind. There are very real emotions as we progress toward the next set of mamos etcetcetc.

I think the greatest thing about the Atavan, is that it is nearly 'instant' in it's relief...... like 15 to 30 minutes. I have it in my purse. If something out of left field knocks the wind out of me, kerplunk, I can take one and regroup nearly right away.

Tears are a good thing. Tears cleanse us of all the unexpected emotions that have been stored below the surface.

Didn't mean to write a book, or sound preachie......... depression is real. Everyone on the thread 'deserves' to be depressed. We battle together to keep the darkness at bay.

Ever onward.

I gotta think that the best thing of all, is the ability to come hear and unload. If you want me to start a real rant...... let me get started telling you all about my Lymphodema details.

We each have our own individual crazy-makers.

I am so glad that we have each other.

xx00xx00xx00xx

Strength and courage.

Strength and courage.

Strength and courage.

KatRNagain92

We should change our Topic thread to TEAM JANUARY! 

I've been reading like the rest of you but not posting...I know I'm depressed too.  I am trying to juggle out more of work / life balance but it's hard.  I finally got to golf and I did pretty well.  (The secret to good golf is...don't golf!:) 

My nipple and fat grafting surgery is scheduled for July 12 and I'm scared of going under anesthesia again.  It seems every time I do my vision gets worse and worse.  Crazy, but it's true.  I know it's very small compared to all the issues you other gals are going through with chemo and finishing rads...I'm in awe of how you can do it.  I was at a Director's meeting today and no one even suspects there is anything wrong with me and I guess there isn't except for the aliens attached to my chest.  Hopefully having nipples will help turn things around. 

I'll get some wedding pics posted soon Paula!  Thanks for asking for them...my DH doesn't like Black tie affairs and he's scowling for most of it.  <sigh>  Plus, he's way older.  HA! 

Anyway, sleep well girls....I get so tired on this tamoxifen...sleep like a baby.  I love it!

Kat

robinlbe

Hi everyone.....

I SO wish that you each could go to a breast cancer survivor's retreat like the one Gina and I attended the beginning of June.  It was held here locally, and paid for through a grant from Komen.  It was from Friday 7pm-Sunday 2pm.  No charge to us, at all.  It was the absolute BEST thing I have done for myself throughout this whole journey.  I, too, have sufferered my ups and downs, fighting depression.  Of course, I am not having to go through chemo, nor am I on any other meds - which DOES help, I know.  (that's one reason I had the bilateral instead of the unilateral - to avoid the tamoxifen).  Anyway, since that retreat, I have felt better about me, my "new" body, the works, and can honestly say I haven't had any depression lately.  (of course, that could all change tomorrow).  Let me also back up a bit and say that I fight depression normally anyway.....and I AM on two anti-drepression meds already and have been since daddy died seven years ago.  They keep me balanced, so I'm not crying at the drop of a hat, or getting angry at the slightest thing - as I always USED to do before.  So, I'm sure without the help of my regular meds, I wouldn't be doing so well - but my regular meds "is" my normal, if you get what I mean.

BUT, I do know what it's like to be depressed, and you all have continued to have surgeries and treatments and all kinds of stuff going on this entire time....whereas, I haven't.  Jan. 6th was the last time I saw the inside of an OR.

However, I *have* officially been diagnosed with lymphedema now.  I had four nodes removed from left side (cancer side) and only one node on other side (healthy side).  It's my right side (the healthy side with only ONE node removed) that is having problems....go figure!!!!  I saw the LE today.  It's not a severe case, but it's not to be taken lightly either.  I now have my compression sleeve, and will be getting the gauntlet.  I also have to get a compression shirt, but I can get that at a sporting goods store.  She is also going to teach me to do the draining massage, because much of my swelling is in my armpit  and there are no garments made specifically for the armpit.  (leave it to ME...)    Since I'm not teaching during the summer, and not carrying the heavy instruments and stuff, its' not as bad right now, thankfully. 

OH, and by the way....it's okay to feel down.  Allow yourselves that.  You're all still grieving.  Over many things....and some of our emotions haven't caught up with all we've gone through....you all are daily in my thoughts and prayers....

love and blessings....robin 

mom2mms

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faithandfifty

Come back Maria. Come back.

I have been so concerned for you.

I wonder, wonder, wonder how you're holding up.

We can handle whatever you are feeling.

Today in my email inbox was a proverb:

"Joy shared is doubled, sorrow shared is halved."

We are here for the joy -- to share.

We are here for the sorrow -- to split it in half.

Know that we are most concerned for you.

If you posted a rant and felt it better to remove, that's ok toooo...... but we could handle it.

To tell you the truth, it's good just to see that you're still reading along.

The journey is a long one.

xx00xx00xx00xx00xx

Strength and courage.

Strength and courage.

Strength and courage.

((((((((((((((((((Maria)))))))))))))))))))

(((((((((((((((Lynbob)))))))))))))))))))))

(((((((((((((((Regina)))))))))))))))))))))

and yet more hugs:

(((((((((((((((((Maria))))))))))))))))))))))

I feel so much better when we 'hear' from people, even if it is a whisper that is removed.

pbebow

Oh wow, ladies, I am sooooo sorry!  I feel so bad for you all and this darn depression!  I have been so lucky not to have it... although I know that this has effected me, I seem to have a very short fuse with my kids, I need to really work on that, but other than that, the main thing that bothers me is apparently all of my previous friends think that cancer is contagious because they all avoid me like the plauge...  a little depressing, I still have a couple, and one that really stepped up and has been here for me from the beginning... but gets lonely sometimes, I just try to focus on other things, like my son's wedding that is coming up.  Now that can take my mind off other things...   we are spending all of this money and putting in all of this time and work and it is in less then 4 weeks (July 23rd) and they still haven't mailed the stupid invitations out yet!!!!!   So, we will probably have no guests!   But oh well, at least they'll be married and it will be done and we can all move on with life!  haha!

Anyway, just thought I'd pop on and say hi and it's soooo nice to read from everyone even though you all are having a rough time...  I'm thinking about you always.  And Marianne, I love that quote about life waiting for the storm and dancing!!!  I posted it on my Facebook page!!!  Love it!

Have a great day ladies and if you can, listen to the song "I'm Alive" by Kenny Chesney, it always makes me feel good, as I've said before it has been my theme song through out this BC journey!

Paula

TNgolfer

Debbie, Paula and others,

Your posts are encouraging.  Sad to say that misery does love company!  I am trying to use all the tools I was taught in the "breast cancer and depression" clinical study....activity, activity, activity.  I am still going to the fitness center a few days a week and exercise really does help.  I am going to attend a yoga class this afternoon.  Put a call into the Oncologist and waiting for his response. 

Paula, I know what you mean about friends.  I have had some wonderful friends who kept the cards and phone calls coming way after the surgeries were over.....they really have been there for me, but there are so many that can't handle it and here (team January) is where I don't have to worry about what I say or how it comes out....there is true understanding here.  I am so grateful for that. 

So I am going to try to fill my calendar with those #4 activities (things that are rewarding and pleasurable) and keep busy and take care of me.  Today, I am going to pull up my big girls panties and dance in the rain! 

Marianne

faithandfifty

Marianne. Thank heavens you were able to participate in that study!!!

Knowing what we need to do and doing it are two concepts all together.

I rode my bike for 13 miles yesterday and for the first time, left the flats of our little village and ventured out to the 'country' and what a gift. This time last summer I would ordinarily ride two, to three times that distance daily.......... but I gotta focus on what I AM able to do & be grateful for this progress.

The rebuilding is so pain-stakingly gradual.

My yoga guru talked about the importance of gradual "improvement" and of course that makes sense. Rebuilding takes time. Patience is a virtue and all that good stuff.

Big girl panties for each of us.

xx00xx00xx00xx

Who knew how significant one's arms are in the bike riding process? That is where I must focus my new learning curve.

neversurrender

Jeez....just crawled out of bed.  We did not return from our movie until almost 3am.  I am way to old to be up so late    All of the girls are still asleep - they are out cold on my living room floor. 

One way that this whole BC thing has changed me (for the better)....I find I am a more fun and easy going mom.  I find myself doing things I wouldn't normally do, such as taking a carload of girls to a midnight movie, allowing almost constant sleepovers, and just relaxing rules and expectations in general.  I even allowed (and all my kids and babysitting kids are still talking about this) an indoor snowball fight in January.  All of my babies and my kids were here and we had buckets and buckets of snow and we all ended up soaked and freezing, but it was one of the most fun days we have had.  

Kat - I'm with Paula, let's see some pictures.  

I will be back on in a while with a new pic of my youngest DD.  She takes cooking classes and just recently graduated to a Master Chef level.....she looks so cute when she is all done up for class

Maria - I'm glad to see you.  When you feel you can, please post and let us know how you are.  We are here to lend all the support we can.

Hugs Team January !

bcincolorado

You are all wonderful.  Just felt the need to say that.

CinD

Hi all.  I'm stopping by the clubhouse to buy you all a cold one or maybe a few pitchers! When things get bad, there's always the clubhouse to come back to regroup and relax. Take care everyone.

Cindy 

neversurrender

Kat, I like the idea of changing our topic thread to Team January !  also.  Does Cathy need to do that since she started the thread?

binga

Hi all,

Good to hear from so many of you and am so glad we have this great place to come to where we all understand each other.  I have been reading every couple of days but of course, life has taken over and I have been busy.  My 2 nieces who are 14 and 16 have been here since last Thursday so that has been keeping me busy but in a good way!  I have worked a few extra shifts to help out our scheduler since she always gets me covered when I need it.  And I booked a Disney cruise for Oct. Yippee!!  It is actually 2- a 3 night and 4 night because they weren't offering a 7 night that week and I am taking my best friend (since we were 14) who will be turning 40 that week and we want to be gone for at least 7 nights!  I had a few rough weeks since my last surgery but now that I found a bra that feels good for me I am in a much happier place and not experiencing anywhere near as much pain.  Those are the good things going on right now.

The not so good things are that my grandmother who is like a second mom to me just found out today that she has a type of leukemia.  She just turned 83 and is not healthy enough to do chemo.  She had a bone marrow sample taken today and will know more Friday but the hematologist told my aunt that if it is what he believes it is then it is very aggressive.  I think I am really still in denial about this.  I am hoping for a better report Friday.  I lost my dad suddenly a year and a half ago, my mom is probably going to be getting remarried in the next 6 months or so (which will take some getting used to), I have had all this cancer stuff and now my precious grandmother is sick.  I have had a lot to deal with but you know God is still in charge and I still have so much to be thankful for.   Including Team January!

Hope all of you continue healing and hope some of you can kick depression's butt!  Everyone have a great weekend and enjoy each and every day! 

Cathy- my nieces went to the premier last night too!  I am not into it and I had to work at 8am this morning.   

grdnslve

so how do you know when it's depression as opposed to perfectly normal feeling in the dumps because life has gone to crap and it is just a situational response that will (eventually) go away?  i mean, after what we have been through, it would take someone in lala land to not be depressed, wouldn't it?  i know my normal funny bone took a sabatical weeks ago.  today at my appt with the onc, he made a comment about beginning (?) to understand my sense of humor (?????) when he was palpating under my arm, asked if it hurt & i responded 'just normal hurting from the radiation burn'....i wasn't even being sarcastic...it did hurt.  but unlike last week it wasn't bad enough for me to be poised to strike him in the nether regions with my foot. and by the way, he was real quick on his feet last week.

i agree with debbie on the ativan-  i only take it at night now, but it at least helps stop my mind racing & keeping me from sleep....nothing keeps me from waking up a few hours later & laying there though.  also it is fast acting--the rn's told me to just put it under the tongue if i really need it fast.  not to even bother swallowing it.

got to see the last baby swallow leave the nest (finally) on the porch yesterday...made me think about the end of treatment & suddenly being thrust out of this cocoon of caregivers.  although i am soooooo looking forward to being finished with chemo, it isn't like the next day everything is going to be back to normal.  i want it to be, am impatient for it to be, but the after effects of treatment are going to last awhile, and i will still look like a freak for months.  so am struggling with feeling as though i don't even know who i am anymore.....like i have lost my identity or something.

sooo....am i depressed or just p__ off and worn out????

neversurrender

Lola, I think a lot of it is a situational response.  I look at my situation as being very fortunate in the world of BC.  I feel I got the best diagnosis I could have, my surgery went well, my recon has been very sucessful, I was able to dodge rads and chemo, and with the bilateral I was able to dodge tamoxifin and other follow up meds.  As I said I feel fortunate when I look at my situation, but it still makes me mad as h*ll.  Most days I can deal with that, but every now and then, something will come up unexpectedly and knock me flat.  I am hopeful that the anger and sadness will fade with time, once my mind has time to accept all that has happened. 

faithandfifty

Exactly.

Exactly.

Exactly.

We do indeed have every reason to be angry, depressed, emotional, frustrated, despondant, unhappy, disillusioned, wounded, dejected.........

You know I'm the lady of the bumper-sticker mentality. A few for this juncture:

"Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."

"When there is absolutely nothing that is funny, laugh on credit."

and of course my all time favorite:

"When you're going thru hell, keep going." Attributed to Churchill.

It is a time of regrouping, introspection, readjustment, re-prioritizing -- the whole nine yards.

It's a new day.

Let's see what we can make out of it.

We've had a couple of spectacular sunsets. I need to get you some evidence.

That is our nightly entertainment.

Last night was amazing.

This morning it's still not even 60 degrees yet: perfect biking weather.

xx00xx00xx00xx

We can do this, because we must.

Strength and courage.

Strength and courage.

Strength and courage.

pbebow

ROCK ON DEBBIE!!!  Love those quotes!!!  Bright days ladies!!!

Paula

grdnslve

yes--the oddest things enrage me at times.  yesterday while i was getting my chemo a poor girl came in to visit someone else and started flipping her long hair around.   i think my tongue was bleeding to keep from yelling at her....something to the effect of 'yo barbie, put a freaking cap on it!!!'  what is wrong with me?