what a year that has been for me

february_girl

Hi,

I'm a forty year old single woman diagnosed with breast cancer in Feb 2009.

In October, I decided it was time to start dating again. The men that I've talked to on the phone or have met in person have all known about my diagnosis and treatments. It was not an issue for anyone. Then I met a man last month who I immediately felt attracted to and decided that I wanted to be intimate with him. We did not have intercourse right away because believe it or not I had never had intercourse before. Well, finally I decided that I didn't want to be a virgin anymore and gave this man my virginity. We are not in a long term relationship and we are not dating. We are not even really friends. I don't expect any of that will change. I just wanted to experience sexual intercourse because to be honest I fear that if I don't live in the moment now then I may not get another chance. It is used to be that I didn't have intercourse because I was afraid of something... not exactly sure what... and now I've had intercourse because I've been afraid that I might die a virgin. I hope to live a long time and won't look back or have regrets about this choice. Has anyone ever done anything like this because of breast cancer? I mean, has anyone ever decided to do something that you weren't normally of done before your diagnosis?

This man has suggested that we become friends with benefits. I don't want that but I did give it some thought. The sex with him was amazing not that I have anything to compare it to. I would like more than this man can offer me. Time to find another man, I think.