Newly Diagnosed

mickie513

So here I am. I'm supposed to be feeling some emotion but really I'm not. My daughter is more upset than I am. I feel like a whipped dog, life can't throw anything else at me and get a reaction. I've been diagnoised bi-polar (and take a handful of meds for it) but it took me 5 years of crazy to get that diagnosis. I can't walk well and I'm still waiting for a disability claim because the powers that be don't think I'm in enough pain or crazy enough. Surely someone would hire me.

So I wonder, great, more medical bills I can't pay. Surgery for sure but that doesn't scare me, I kinda like surgery. I'm sure that makes me weird. Do you find out your stage after surgery? I don't have one now. I don't have much info at all. Has it spread, will I get chemo or just radiation. Although radiation doesn't sound too pleasant either.

I've come here to share my meaderings of thoughts with those that may have some answers.

idaho

Yes you will find out your stage and grade after surgery.  Are you going to have a lumpectomy? You will feel better once you have a game plan.  Here is wishing you health and peace.... Tami

mickie513

I don't even know if I'm going to have a lumpectomy. If the doctor thinks it is an option I'll go for it. I have the odd complication of having breast implants so I have mixed feelings about the possibility of losing one of them.

Regawhatever

I'll jump in here with some (hopefully relevant) advice. From my experience, you'll go through every emotion under the sun -- numbness, anger, fear, and back again. Then at some point, you'll be okay emotionally. It's amazing what a person can get used to -- even cancer. There will be a time in your not-too-distant future that you can go a whole day without even thinking of cancer. I promise.

As for the medical bills, tell them to pick a number and stand in line. If you can pay each of them something -- even if it's only $5 a month -- that's what you can do. 

And radiation is not fun, of course, but it's not awful. It's very inconvenient, but nowhere near as bad as the pain you sound like you're in when you try to walk. On good days, radiation was the only 15 minutes of calm I got all day. 

Keep posting and asking questions. You'll be okay.

-Tricia

Padiddle

I can say from my own experience, you will feel a lot of things.  Your treatment plan will depend on whether or not lymph nodes are involved and the size of the tumor.  You will mostly likely have CAT scans, PET scans and bone scans to see if cancer has spread.  The results of these tests will determine whether or not you need chemotherapy and/or radiation.  I was not insured when I was diagnosed.  You will most likely have the opportunity to talk to a hospital social worker to see what you may be eligible for.  I've been making payments since 2000 for bc treatment, but I set the payments at rates I could afford which wasn't a lot.  I don't get bothered by medical bill collection calls at all because I have been faithful with the payments.  If I got through, you can get through too.  Reach out for support.  Your treatment will be clearer once all the info has been gathered.  Take care....reach out.  Jean

mickie513

Thanks all and thanks to this site I have a better understanding of next steps and such. Monday (my next Dr. appt) seems so far away. I've talked with a social worker already and I'm suppose to bring in relevant papers and such. I think you're right regawhateve and jmarie, I'm not going to sweat the bills. It isn't what I should be focused on.

KatieMom

Hello Ladies.  I have been lurking around this forum since I was diagnosed in Oct. 2009 with DCIS.  I didn't feel the need to post as it was just a little pre cancer deal and no big deal.  I had a lumpectomy on my left breast on Dec. 11  All went fine.  I am healing nicely, not much pain.  On Dec. 22 the doctor called to say that the pathology showed clean margins but a 5mm piece of invasive in the DCIS tumor.  Now I am more worried.  I am scheduled to see him again next week to go over the next steps.  I am scheduled for node dissection on Jan. 29 and some pre-op thing on Jan.20.  I am definitely going through radiation and tamoxifen, but if the nodes are dirty, then chemo too.  I am a teacher and the mother of a 6 yr. old, wife of a great guy.  How long will I be laid up with this surgery?  With the lumpectomy I was fine after 3 days.  Thanks for any insights you can give.  I am getting a little worried.

charleneg

Hi KatieMom,

I had sentinel node biopsy and no node involvement but that was done with the lumpectomy in November 2008.  I had radiation 2x a day for 1 week in December 2008.  For me personally, I had IDC and went through chemotherapy 2009 and was able to work part-time through it.  Some people work full-time and have their treatment on Friday so they can go back to work on Monday.  I think you will be fine but it is always the fear of the unknown.  I am still on Herceptin (maintenance program) for HER2+ until April 2010.

God Bless You.

Char

KatieMom

Thanks Char, I guess I am really nervous.  I really appreciate the response.  I would be really interested to hear if anyone has experience with talking to kids about bc and all the ramifications.  I have a 6 yr. old and teach 2nd grade.  If I stay out of chemo I think I don't have to tell my class anything, but if I undergo chemo I am totally worried about my appearance scaring them, and how do I handle it with my own daughter?  I have ordered a book from American Cancer Society - Mommy has Breast Cancer, or something like that.  Anyone have any ideas?

Katie 

LINDAGARSIDE

Hi Charlene,

Can I ask you something?  I am curious about you needing chemo.  If you had IDC (as I do) and no node involvement...and had radiation...is there a need for chemo?  I was under the impression that if there is no node involvement then chemo is not necessary?  I'm certainly willing to take it if is necessary.  I'm just curious as I'm on a real steep learning curve.  I was diagnosed in late December and my surgery is this Friday.  At this point of course, we don't know the stage etc...  thanks Charlene for your time. 

weimarblue

Katie, I have a 7 year old.  There is a book out there called "chemo cat" which was helpful.  "My mommy has cancer" is a good book too.  There is an episode of Arthur called Mrs. McReady (I think) the school lunchlady gets cancer and it was done really well.  It talks about all the emotions of cancer, and it is ok to feel the way you do.  I explained to my daughter that, mommy's body is a flower garden and right now it has a weed.  We are going to get rid of that weed with some medecine that will make mommy tired, not feel well, grumpy etc.  I think she liked this analogy as I heard her one day explain it the exact same way to a classmate.  Hope these ideas help.  Telling my daughter was the hardest thing I have ever done. Good luck to you.

KatieMom

Thanks, those are all good suggestions.  I am not looking forward to having to explain all this to kids.  

mickie513

This is going to sound really shallow but after my appointment with my surgeon it dawned on me I'm not going to be able to keep my implant. Even with a lumpectomy the radiation will trash my implant. Without the implant there isn't much breast tissue worth saving.