Anyone Starting Chemo Jan. 2010?

michelle_nj

Hello Sisters,

I got my second Taxol on Friday, and the Neulasta yesterday, with no problems. But Days 3-6 are my problem, today I woke up week, with a light headache and the pulse a bit high.
On Friday before my treatment, my onc looked at my rushes from 2 weeks ago and she said I had shingles, but the immune system managed to keep it in control, the 3 blisters I have on the side of one knee are clearing well( I didn't know it was shingles) and the other rushes from allergic reaction to Taxol are gone.
Otherwise, last week I felt good, much better than after AC.
Is anybody else doing Neulasta with Taxol? I have the WBC 13.I'm thinking maybe this can add to my bad reactions.

TerriJo - Congrats on finishing Chemo and good luck with your life changes.
Paxton - Like you said, the Anticancer author got it second time too, so I'm sure you are now better prepared to succeed. Be optimistic, like the author said, depression doesn't help.

Wish you all a good Sunday!

Tamatar

Hi Everyone,

 Well I am on day 4 after 1st taxol.  I am feeling pretty good...the only problem I have had was that yesterday afternoon the leg pain started.  My feet, ankles and knees are extremely painful.  i took advil and they tylenol PM last night and was able to get some sleep.  this morning it is better, but still there.  i feel like i need a massage and hot packs on my lower legs. But I was able to get up andget all of the grocery shopping done...so I wonder if moving around may help.  The more i sit...the more I notice it...so maybe I'll keep moving today.

I hope you all are doingwell...thake care and enjoy your weekend!

Tammy

mslrg

Vesgadiva--congrats on your new kitty. I'm sure you and he will have a great life together. I agree with your commens to Paxton. It's difficult to be in the position you're in--but there's always hope! For whaterver it's worth, I don't just do what the doctors say and leave it at that. There are lots of supplements we can take to complement our more traditional treatments. As long as you tell your onc what you're taking, there shouldn't be a problem. Positive thinking is a big part of healing. Maybe it's time to talk with  therapist or maybe get on some antidepressants fora while. I did therapy for the first few monhs after my DX and it helped. I put my kids and DH in for a few sessions too. As for the weight loss and all that. I had a lapband surgery done in Jan of 09--I had lost about 40 pounds by the time I got my DX, but I guess it was too little too late. Then after my mastectomies, I threw up a lot--a no no with a lap band because throwing up can rip it out, so I had all the fluid removed. SInce chemo, I've gained 8 pounds, but I think that haas a lot to do with steriods, and I've read about people gaining as much as 18 pounds in 3 weeks, so I guess I'm not doing too badly. I walk and exercise when I can--even took a walk yesterday, one day after chemo. And I try to eat carefully, butno one's perfect. We will get there! When I start my proper training for my 3-day walk, I know that will help, even though I have a torn meniscus in my left knee. Be kind to yourselves, ladies; we're all going through so much!

As for me, I had my LAST TC o Friday, and my Neulasta shot yesterday. I've got all the common side-effects, with stomach upsets being the worst! I'm in good spirits, though. My kids' baseball little league starts today, and I will do everything in my power to be there to see their games. Hang in there, Ladies. We can do this. We can support each other, and we will climb to the top of the mountain, and come back down again to tell the tale!

pagowens

Hi All,

The steroids gave me energy like crazy the first week of Taxol and then I crashed on day 4.  The second week on Taxol I didn't get the same steroid high -- and I was looking forward to it with a whole bunch of stuff to get done!  Unfortunately I crashed again anyway on day 4 badly and my bronchitis reared its ugly head again and my fever shot up to 103.7 - so my husband came home from work and took me off to the ER.  This happened all within 2 hours!!  Feeling fine, then crash, then big spike fever.  The ER admitted me on Friday and I spent Saturday and most of today (Sunday) in the hospital hooked up to intravenous antibiotics (2 kinds), steroids and breathing treatments by nebulizer every 4 hours. Geez, louise, when a person on chemo gets sick without great white cell counts, you can get sick really fast and really bad.

So now I'm home with another cartload of medication to add to my daily stuff.  I haven't had a fever since Friday so I'm hoping the onc doesn't postpone my 3rd Taxol on Tuesday.  However, this time when I'm feeling better and my chest is sounding clear again, I'm going to insist on another chest xray to make sure the bronchitis is completely gone.  I'm sure the bronchitis I had for two weeks the week prior was just lurking around waiting for another shot at me.  Now I have a touch of pneumonia as well  -- just to provide insult to injury.

This second round I did also get bone pain on Friday (day 4) with aches in my hips shooting down both legs to my knees and then my ankles also ached.  A SE from Taxol, I'm sure.  Anyway the blessing of being in the hospital is that they already knew the Tylenol wouldn't work, so the doc prescribed percoset.  Yeeha!  That stuff works quick to relieve the pain. So, it stopped aching by Saturday.  I'm going to ask the oncologist about a pain reliever on Tuesday because Tylenol simply didn't touch the aches/throbs caused by the Taxol.

Another plus of being in the hospital is that they draw blood every day and on Friday my red blood count had already gone up from 8.8 to 9.4.  The liver, egg yolks and spinach were worth eating and I'm going to incorporate them into my weekly diet.  I happen to actually like liver (strange, I know).  Altho my onc said the same thing - nothing you can really do about chemo-induced anemia - I believe eating the iron rich food helped.  The only minus was actually finding fresh calf liver - not all supermarkets have it anymore.  Apparently not a big seller!

My white blood cells were around 3.9 - so, enough to be able, supposedly, to continue the chemo.  I'm hoping for no delays...the sooner to get this chemo stuff done and gone, the better.

And, today I noticed long soft hairs on my legs, along the front bone -- nothing on the sides.  So, I'm hoping that means the hair may be reviving!  It can do that on Taxol, the nurse told me. I'm sure the leg hair, the chin hair and other places will come back before the head, eyebrows and eyelashes.  But I think I might start using Latisse next week to help the eyelashes.  I got some from the dermatologist and will get approval first from the oncologist before actually using it.

One last thing - my second night in the hospital a woman from the ER was also admitted with some kind of cancer (I don't know what kind.) The admitting ER doctor wanted her to have a head CT to check for mets - she refused all day today to go. I said a prayer for her that she can accept the help being offered.  Fear will only set her recovery/quality of life back.  I wish you all continued courage to face the challenges being presented to each of us on this cancer journey.  I wore my Wonder Woman necklace, earrings and bracelet to the ER and through my hospital stay to remind me to be strong and courageous.  It worked!

Hugs,

Pat

georgiabirdgirl

pagowens- i upped my iron intake this past couple of weeks too, just in case it might help and my red blood count was up.  I think they (oncologists) need to consider diet a little more a part of the program than they are used to.  It goes hand in hand with all the books that seem to be coming out now, along with the news release on Friday that 1/3 of all breast cancers are caused by poor diet and lack of exercise.  It's hard to hear, but it seems logical that our diet would have a real impact on everything from our moods to our red blood cell counts- even while undergoing chemo.  I'm glad you're out of the hospital now, and am praying for you that the chest stuff goes away for good.

I had my #2 taxol on Friday and I've been laid up in bed all weekend.  I have had intense pain (soreness) all over my body.  I feel like my entire body is one big bruise.  It seems to finally be getting better now.  I haven't had the painful feet or electric pain this time, so maybe the vitamin B pills are working on that.

I did get good news at the docs on Friday.  He's moved my next chemo appointment forward a few days so I don't have to leave my family and fly home early from Spring Break the week after next.  YEAH!  I am so looking forward to a week of feeling good at the beach with the kiddos.  We leave next Saturday, so I'm praying my SEs have gone by then.

Issymom

Pagowens - Sorry you were in the hospital.  Hopefully, this does not affect your chemo on Tuesday.  I appreciate the benefits of percocet.  On Friday night I realized that I had quite a few Oxycontin so I took it so that I could sleep.  It worked great.  It is bad enough to deal with these pains but then to not be able to sleep is cruel.  I have more than enough to get me through my next 2 treatments.  I highly recommend it to those who are having problems with intense pain.

I got hit with nausea on Friday and Saturday.  I was surprised by this as I didn't have nausea with round #1.  It happened after I ate both times.  I am wondering if it is esophogitis like I had a month or so ago.  I am going to take Prilosec and hope that keeps it away.  I am really frustrated by how I feel.  I guess I counted on the "cake walk" my onc promised.  I knew better but I am so tired of being tired.  I am getting cabin fever.  I so want to get away from here.  Summer will be here soon. 

paxton

Pat: glad you're out of the hospital.  My bronchitis is finally starting to get better.  I stopped in the ER this afternoon because I've been feeling like fainting lately.  They basically said I have high blood pressure and anxiety.  I guess nobody wants to deal with my blood pressure during all of this other treatment going on so they told me to take more of my anxiety meds, relax more, and get up slowly as well as drink more water.

I've been done with this series of chemo for a few weeks and was hopeful that I'd feel ok for awhile before heading into surgery.  But feeling like crap never ends.  I'm headed off to the 2nd attempt at my PET scan in the morning.  No cough drops this time.  And no tire blow outs would be nice, too. 

I'm gonna pop some ativan and drift away. 

lean037

I started my chemo last Jan 5th. I just got done with 4 rounds of AC and I start 4 rounds of Taxotere tomorrow. I am very anxious about the transition since I am not sure how this drug will affect me. A friend suggested this online support group when I was diagnosed right after Thanksgiving but I did not have the strength to look into it. I was about 6-7 months pregnant with our second child when I was diagnosed. I am in my 20's and the diagnosis hit us like a city-sized rock. We had to act fast and make a decision quick last December if we were going to start chemo while I was pregnanct or deliver my baby prematurely. We were able to come up with a decision for the latter. She was born before Christmas time and it was tough then since we also have a 3 year old daughter. I've seen in the discussions that most women know their diagnosis and that alarmed me a little bit. I never really figured out exactly what my dx is. I know that I am stage 3 since one of my tumors is over 4cm. I have a lot of lymph node involvement verified through MRI, hormone positive and BC gene negative. I think tomorrow I will have my oncologist confirm my exact dx to satisfy my curiosity.

Issymom

Lean037 - I am sorry to say Welcome to our group.  This diagnosis was a shock to all of us but I can't imagine what you had to go through.  There are several women in this group with young children (some babies though not as young as your baby).  I hope your baby is doing well and that you have a good support system.  Don't be afraid to ask for help.  Many of us had a hard time asking for help but I realized it helped them as much as my family. 

You should ask your oncologist for the actual diagnosis.  I will say that I have a friend who had a similar diagnosis and age when she was diagnosed.  That was 6 years ago and she doing great now.  Before you know it, your baby will be off to Kindergarten and this will all be in your past.  This disease sucks and I am so sad that you are going through this. 

I did 4 rounds of AC and am day 7 after round #2 of Taxol (not Taxotere).  Good luck tomorrow.  You won't have the nausea that came with AC.  Did you have surgery yet?  Let us know how things go and if there are any specific questions you have.  Also, feel free to vent as we all know what you are going through.

gramoflexus

Lean 037,  Don't  get yourself wrapped around stats, many many many success stories . My sister in law had breast cancer 18 years ago stage III 18 nodes involved and she is a picture of health today . That is what keeps me going . I have finished the AC and on my 3rd Taxol which will be Wed . Everyone reacts differently but for me Taxol keeps me down for about a week .Just low energy and muscle ache . Right now my eyes are the worse complaint I have , Very puffy and watery plus I think my vision has changed , can't see things as well as I use to .

This site is a wonderful site many helpful friends . A lot of time I just read the post I fine everyone an  inspiration.Like my doc told me live today because if you worry 20 years down the road your going to wonder why you worried so .  

georgiabirdgirl

Lean037- I hate that you have cause to need us, but am glad that you have found your way here.  This online support group has been a source of great strength to me.  I have two small kids as well.  Whether you get on here and post everyday, or just read up every once in awhile, it seems to be a good thing.  I can only imagine how scary your diagnosis was in the midst of what is supposed to be such a joyous happy time for your family.  I hope that your littlest one is doing well and is progressing along.  I  have had 4 rounds of AC and have completed 2 rounds of Taxol (similar to Taxotere).  From what I have learned, each drug as well as each treatment provides new SEs and challenges.  I hope that you have a wonderful support system at home around you and your family.  Hopefully, we can help with that support too.  I agree that you should learn what your exact diagnosis is.  However, don't forget that the statistics you may hear are just numbers that represent information that can be as much as 10-15 years old.  I personally told my oncologist to keep the statistics to himself, since I have already proven to him and to myself that I'm an outlier to begin with. (i.e. I'm too young, only 5% have false negatives, you don't have any risk factors, etc.)  To me that means that I can't trust the statistics to really tell me anything specific about me.  Every person here is different and can respond differently to this treatment and this disease.  Take care of yourself.

paxton

We drove to my PET scan this morning.  The serum nearly went bad while they were figuring out my paperwork.  Its the same exact semi trailer with the machine where I screwed up my being able to get the test because of the whole eating a cough drop deal.  But because it was parked in front of a clinic and not a hospital, they weren't sure my insurance would cover it and I wasn't going to do it until they found out.  Why is everything so damn complicated?  But at least I was able to get it done.  I meet with the dr tomorrow to go over all the results.  Hope its good news which means surgery and more chemo (nice, huh?).

bubbalu

lean 037:  I join in Welcoming you to the support group with regret for all our situations.  I can't imagine what it must have been like to get this diagnosis when your life was filled with anticipation for a new baby.  You have been very courageous.  I hope the baby is doing well.  I am right behind you literally in days with treatments.  I started my 4 AC treatments 1/7/09 and will start my Taxtere 4/1/10.  My bilateral surgery and radiation will follow.  I too am nervous about the Taxotere as I feel I knew what was going to happen with the AC.  However the 3rd and 4th treatments were the worst.  Once I get thru one treatment I will feel better and you will too.  From everything I can learn from the onc nurses, this group and friends who have experienced BC and AC/ Taxotere, they say that the AC was far worse than the Taxotere.  The next 4 treatments will not be easy but they will be less harsh than the AC and we got thru that.  Remember not to focus on the SE because everyone is different.  For instance, I really had no noticeable nausea with the AC only the 1st treatment a slight morning sickness feeling.  The cytoxan was very harsh to me and the AC ruined my veins so I had to get a port, my WBC's bottomed out every treatment and the fatigue was unbelieveable.  The important thing in all this is that the chemo is working and the cancer is dying and washing away. By now after the 4 AC treatments, it should be markedly changed.  We are halfway there and I countdown my treatments like that.  I hope you have a good support system and remember positive attitude and appetite are crucial to getting well.  You will beat this and come out a strong young mother.  Remember too as you read these posts that Taxol and Taxotere are similar but different and everyone experiences their own individual SE's.  I too have/had a large tumor and lymph node involvement, not hormore fed and am BC gene negative.  I don't know my dx either but I'm guessing it's stage 3 also because of the size.  We have much in common except that I am 70 years old!  I will be waiting to hear how your first Taxotere went.  Take care.

Hope is the ability to hear the music of the future, Faith is the ability to dance to it today.

youngmomof3

lean037: Your post brought tears to my eyes for many reaons. I was diagnosed at the beginning of Dec and as for many women it was a complete shock and not at all what I thought I would be dealing with at 36 years old. I also have young kids(8,6 and 17 months old). I cannot begin to imagine the decision you had to make being pregnant and daignosed. How far along were you when your baby was born? My 17 month old was also a preemie. She was born at 30 weeks, 2 lbs. 12 oz and spent 7 weeks in the NICU. That alone was an incredibly scary time for me so I would imagine coupling that with beginning your own treatment must have been very difficult along with taking care of your 3 yr.old. I know our situations aren't the same but I can relate to having a preemie so if you ever want to talk please feel free to send me a private message. I wish you the best and hope all is well with your kids. This board is full of incredible support and will keep you going when you need it.

mslrg: I am so happy to hear about your biopsy results and am glad you were able to get your last AC done:)

Paxton: glad you were able to get that PET scan done and am praying for good news for you tomorrow.Agree with everyone else, I know it may be very difficult but try not to lose hope. and when you are losing hope we will share ours with you.

Pagowens: I hope you are feeling better. you are one tough cookie!

I know there is so much more I wanted to say since it has been a while since i posted but have been reading everyday but right now I am tired and am heading to bed. goodnight

Georgiabirdgirl: enjoy your spring break with the family:)

pagowens

HI All,

Paxton - I have high blood as well but take Toprol 50 mg every morning all through this chemo journey  - Go to your primary care doctor.  High blood pressure can lead to stroke and heart attack.  Who needs any more health care worries?  The SEs from chemo can affect your blood pressure as well - you need the meds to stay strong.  Don't accept anyone not wanting to deal with your blood pressure - it's a silent killer.  Stress may make the bloodpressure go up and yoga, etc. may help it come down but that only treats the symptoms, not the cause of the blood pressure problems.  I hope your test results are good news - I've learned the stress of waiting for test results is one of the worst things of having cancer.  I was sent a little book by my chemo-angel last week (finally got contacted!) that I think may help you in coping with the ups/downs/stresses of this journey.  It's called "There's no place like HOPE: A guide to beating cancer in mind-sized bites" by Vickie Girard.  I read it in the hospital.  She has written encouraging and reality-based ideas from her own journey and all the cancer survivors she has worked with.  If you want, private message me with your address and I will pass this generous gift on to you.

Lean 027 - Welcome and like the others already expressed, we're sorry you are here, glad you found us.  I can not imagine how distressing the last months have been for you - I'd be reeling too.  Don't blame yourself for not knowing and absorbing all this - it's not about how smart you are, it's about being able to process and absorb so much information all at the same time.  I know that is what's happened to me too since diagnosis last October.  Bad enough going through the usual shock - anger - grief toward acceptance of this disease, it's all the information, new terms, options, etc. that you also have to quickly grasp and make life-changing decisions -- while you're dealing with your life, work, family, children, and routine stuff of day-to-day life. We have all struggled too.  And, I have an advanced doctorate - prior to chemo brain, I used to be pretty smart!   I've found this to be my hardest journey.  But. i figure that chemo, surgery and radiation, medications helps us stick around longer to enjoy our children, friends and family.  Every day now I tell everyone important to me that I love them - I didn't used to do that.  You will be there for your children...and you're there right now for your baby.  Try every day to savor that time!  We're so focused on our future, it's easy to forget we're here right now. 

Hugs to everyone - altho it's still rainy here in NJ, we're looking forward to warm and sunny weather by the end of this week -- I can't wait to see the sunshine!  Have organized a garden Easter Egg hunt for my sweetie grandson and his neighbor friends.  Have two of my sons running it - just in case I'm feeling yulky that day.  The plastic eggs are filled and prizes already ready.  I've learned to do the important stuff on days I'm feeling good.  That doesn't include the toilet-scrubbing anymore.

Hugs,

Pat

mslrg

Hi everyone--welcome Lean--sory you have to join us and with a baby too! I am getting through day 5 of rmy last TC, and so far it hasn't been too bad. I actually prepared our Passover Seder yesterday and surprised myself. I didn't think I'd be able to it, but I did, one step at a time. I made salmon, matzo ball soup, and a chocolate cake, a  well as all the Seder plates for the family. My mother and DH did the veggies and the rest of the stuff. It was just us--usually I have 20-30 people, but this year, just the immediate family. I fell asleep at the table before dessert, but my family had their holiday prepared by Mom.

paxton

My scans came back good.  The spot on my liver is exactly the same as the last scan with no sign of cancer so its probably something else which is HUGE.  I'll be finding out the date of my db mast in the next day or two.  Though I'm not excited about having surgery, I'm still really happy. 

Issymom

Paxton - That is fabulous news.  You have to be relieved as I know you have had to worry about this for several months.  Bi-lat surgery isn't easy but so doable.  At that point, the cancer will be gone!  Hopefully, you will be able to see the light at end of this cancer tunnel.

youngmomof3

Paxton, that is wonderful news:) I am so happy for you and although the prospect of surgery is scary(it is for me as well) it is another step in the right direction.

Pagowens, I bought "There's no place like HOPE" shortly after being diagnosed and I read it everyday in the beginning because what I needed more than anything was some hope and it really was such a great book. So much of it applied to what i was thinking and feeling and at times when we are feeling lost or really down it is good to just read a few pages. Think everyone should keep a copy to keep them going when they need it.

georgiabirdgirl

Paxton- I am doing my happy dance for you right now.  I can't imagine how much of a relief those results are for you and your family.  Congratulations!  I met a new plastic surgeon (my third one) and I finally found the doc who gives me confidence that my bilateral mastectomy will not only go well, but will look good afterwards.  I actually left that office excited, because for the first time I could actually feel the light at the end of the tunnel.  I know there are 50 things that could go wrong between now and then, but I finally feel like I'm turning the corner.  I think I'm going to be scheduled for the end of May.  They want to give me 3 weeks to recover from my last chemo, and they have to take me off of blood thinners for a little bit.  I'm really happy to hear your news.  Have a great day.

pagowens

Hi All,

Paxton - Great news!  The wait always gives us those desperate thoughts - glad you're beyond that on this issue.

Youngmomof 3 - Yup the book is inspirational and I can see why you start your day with it!

Mslrg - Happy Passover - enjoy your family and spirtual time.  We all need time to reflect and speak to our God!  Plus the chocolate cake sounds great.

I did get my 3rd Taxol on Tuesday - plus another iv bag of iron and because my white blood cells are so low, I'm going in today, tomorrow and Friday for Neupogen shots.  I'm hoping that helps bring that count up, even though the trips are a nuisance....I can't give myself shots.

I also realized another SE of Taxol for me is night sweats.  I thought last week it was because of the bronchitis/fever and in the hospital because of the plastic lining under the sheets, but it has continued in my own bed.  It's pretty bad waking up smelling stinko from sweating all night.  But a good shower takes care of that.  I also have my usual post-steroid red face.  I'm pretending its sunburn from the non-existent sun in NJ.

I agree, the Taxol is not a piece of cake, but it's not the AC either - somewhere in between.  I'm grateful that it's a lighter burden than the AC.

Take care everyone! 

Pat

dgirl24

I just found this topic and have been reading...wish I found you guys sooner.

Here's my info:

Diag- 10/6/2010, IDC-2.5cm and 1.7, Stage 2, Grade 3, 1 lymph node postive out of maybe 11

ER+,PR-, HER2-

Mast- 11/29/09 - Recon done at same time- TissueExpander

Nodes looked good but one ended up coming back with micromets

2nd surgery to take out more nodes- 11/14/2009

Chemo Start Date 1/11/2010-  I think I'm 1 day ahead of Issymom(loved reading your posts b/c a lot of side effects were similar)  

I find out about radiation tomorrow- April Fools Day!  My tumor had dermal involvement. 

I was having an emotional cancer victim day 1st thing when I woke up and then our toilet overflowed and I cried through my whole shower. 

You girls actually got me back on track- THANK YOU!!!

Have a great day 

Issymom

dgirl24 - Sorry you found us so late in your chemo treatment but hope it helps for the time you have left.  It is an emotional roller coaster. 

 The interesting thing that I am finding now that I am close to the end of chemo is people (including my husband) have moved on with their life.  I am still here doing chemo and hoping that it worked and that I will never have to go through this again.  I  don't want to seem like a whiner so I don't talk about these feelings.  It is a lonely place to be. 

mslrg

Paxton, that's the best news ever! I have a very good feeling that you will come out of this OK; you will watch your little boy graduate from high school and college; you will dance at his wedding, and you will enjoy your own grandchildren. The mastectomy surgery is not fun, but you can do this, and gradually regain your life as you once knew it. Keep your chin up , girl!

Georgiabirdgirl--Good for you being picky about plastic surgeons. I also interviewed 3 before I made my final decision. I really like my PS--all she does is breasts, and get this: she's as flat chested as an 11 year old gymnast! Her work is meticulous, though, and I really like her bedside manner.

Pagowens: Thanks for the Passover wishes. It's been quiet and  subdued this year. I also get the night sweats and hot flashes from Taxotere. My sheets haven't been washed so much as they have since chemo! I have to change my sheets almost every day because of the sweating. And chemo sweat doesn't even smell like mine!

Dgirl24--sorry you have o jon us, but wwelcome to the club! I have found this group of ladies to be a wonderful support for me, especially when my friends and family just don't seem to get it. We are here for you.

Issymom--know what you mean about everyone moving on with their life. I keep hearing people say,"Good, your chemo's over now." Like they can't wait for me to stop inconveniencing them with being sick. Hell, no it's not! I had my last infusion on Friday, but I have been flat on my back for the past 2 days. The rectal bleeding came back on Monday, and I'm living all those awful side-effects all over again. I have been really ill yesterday and today in particular. I can't eat or drink; everything tastes bad, and everything hurts when it goes down. I'm going through that "hit by a mack truck" stage and it's plain awful! My kids are on spring break and we can't go anywhere because I'm too sick. My DH is dithering around because he can't make a simple decision without me, and I'm too sick to do it. And just when I get stong enough and start feeling more like myself, I have to face recon surgery, as well as 5 years of Tamoxifen, which I understand has its own set of side-effects. All of us who were premenopausal before this were sent spiraling into immediate and abrupt menopause because of chemo and that has monumental, long-lasting effects. We are far from DONE, and I wish people in my life would realize that just because I had my last chemo infusion, it does not mean that I can immediately move on and forget there was any cancer in my life. I would love it to be that way, but it just isn't.

1marmalade1

bubbalu:  I just had my 4th (and perhaps final) Taxotere today - this following A/C.  I had NO problems with the Tax, except 2-3 days of yucky mouth (just ruined the taste of food and drink), and my legs felt like tree trunks at times.  Other than that, nothing to complain about.   Hope your tx has the same effect for you!

bubbalu

1marmalade1:  Oh thank you for those encouraging words and if I can just be that lucky.  I can't stop my thoughts today of the dreaded infusion tomorrow and the unknown, that's just what I needed to hear.  I know it will be a sleepless night too.  The sun is shining here in PA and it is warm getting warmer up to 80 degrees by the weekend and I'm feeling sorry for myself.  It's true that family just doesn't get it! If they would just pick up the phone occasionally and ask 'how's it going mom?' - it would make my days, but NOT.  Maybe that's the difference between having had boys instead of girls, I don't know.  Not even an invitation to Easter dinner even if we could go.........bah humbug.  Holidays are overrated.  If it wasn't for my friends, cousins and DH I would be totally discouraged.  Oh well, this too shall pass.  I hope that you are done with the Tax Marm and you will move on with your life, keeping my fingers crossed for that.  You are two months ahead of me in treatment as I go every 3 weeks.

zappit

I'm also a Jan. 2010 starter....but late poster!

At this point, I must say your posts have helped me. We all experience similar emotions....and it is good to know.  

I have completed 3x FEC which luckily I managed rather well. But now I'm on to 3 x Taxotere. Had my first dose of Tax last week and I felt pretty similar to what MsLRG described in her most recent post. I know it is different for every woman but I think I experienced every SE in the Taxotere list! I may be out of the woods today (day 7 post chemo). I felt so helpless...and frustrated when I had to ask my kids for help (they are so used to me doing everything that they don't get it...or maybe I'm just extra sensitive). I hope we all come out stronger from this..

Today, I go for the first dose of Zometa which is supposed to decrease the chances of recurrence..... anything to decrease the chances of going thru this again!    

At least it is a spring day and so something to  about. 

mslrg

Welcome Zappit! Hope you start feeling better soon. The Taxotere has been really tough on me. I'm glad this was my last time. I don't think my stomachcan take anymore!

wren22

Welcome to the new members of our group!  Sorry we have to meet here, but what a godsend it has been.

Paxton--I was so glad to hear your good news!  Every little bit of good information helps and I wish you much more!

I had a CT and bone scan today, since my chemo is finished.  Although they were both clear before I started chemo, I am still a little anxious about it.  I keep telling myself that I feel fine (no pain anywhere or other symptoms), but I will be glad to know it is finally over!  My onc is very good about calling with results, so I may find out before the weekend.  I meet with her next week and will discuss the hysterectomy and reconstructive (if any) surgery then.

Hope everyone is feeling well as we end the chemo part of this crap!  Enjoy your Passover or Easter holiday!

pagowens

Welcome Zappit and Dgirl24 - sorry you had to go through most of your chemo without this support group.  It's really helped me to have someone truly understand why I was crying in the shower over nothing or angry that I can't remember a stupid word or emotionally spent from dealing with this very hard and fairly lonesome journey.

Mslrg - After sweating all night from the Taxol, I stink like an old man in the morning - I have never stunk like that before.  Yes, I've been changing and washing sheets and pjs as well.  This reminds me of the really bad atomic chemo farts from the AC - thank godness that phase is done (my husband thinks the farts were the worse part of all of this....for him).  How come no one tells you these things?  The hair stuff is all I really read about and how everyone laments the loss; but the farts and the sweat stinks and black nails and consistent diarrhea and nose drips I think are really worse!  I know it's nutty but I'm not missing my hair very much - it was always a pain to deal with and I'm loving that there's nothing to do.  However, I really do hate wearing my wig - itchy and uncomfortable.  So as soon as some hair starts growing in, I'm going Susan Powder (for you younger folks she had a very short spiky do).  Plus I would have never really known the shape of my head...and it's a nice cute round one.  I rather like it!

And for the family and friends wearing out over our chemo journey - I get it.  I'm worn out from it too and I still have another 9 weekly Taxol's to go!  Then the radiation for another 6 weeks.  This is going to be the longest damn year in my life!  I wish I could drop out too.

But we can't.

Hugs,

Pat