The Conversation

jeanne46

Has anyone had THE conversation with their oncologist about what could be expected of the rest of one's life if chemo/radiation were stopped.  I feel like I want to ask that question; just trying to time it so there will be time for a conversation. I'm not ready to check out - just wondering what the odds are that I have to endure feeling yucky vs. feeling pretty good and the end result being the same, just sooner in the latter case.  I wonder how much sooner.

dreamwriter

I am only on hormone therapy and it is almost keeping the cancer in check.  However, my QOL is very good.  I always joke that if I can walk, talk and breathe on my own, Im good.  And I can do that and more.  I have limitations, I can only walk about a block without fatigue taking over.  So no I have not had that conversation. My original prognosis was 9-12 months.  Well HELL-O Im celebrating my 4th cancersary Dec 20.  They cannot predict anything.

konakat

It's something I've been meaning to do, but haven't yet.  I just don't want to face it yet -- how yucky or fast it might been.  The only thing that my onc has brought up was to be aware that sometimes cancer can "run away" and take over very quickly... Maybe I should have "the talk".

jeanne46

I've been thinking more and more about this subject. The week before Christmas I celebrate (?) my 4-yr metsaversary and my new adriamycin cocktail is making me nauseous 24/7 (I think it's more acid stomach - but cant' seem to get it under control) and I'm tired.  Depressed too.  I keep forgetting what feeling good feels like.

getwell

Hi Gals,

     This is a question that I would like to ask my onc but I haven't gotten up the nerve yet. It's a tough one. I wil let you know what the answer is as as soon as I get the courage to ask the question. Cancer Sucks!!!! I want my old life back (boo-hoo)

HUGZ,

Pat

dreamwriter

My therapist suggests that I treat every experience as if it were my final one.  Treat this Christmas as if it were my last and give it my all.  And if it isnt my last one, treat the next one as if it was my last.  Every experience warrants my attention, warrants my all.

flash

Dream- smart therapist.  Hugs to you. 

EWB

I do wonder sometimes....not sure I have the courage to ask, more likely, I don't know if I want to hear.

Gentle hugs

jeanne46

I'm not sure I want to hear either.  I'm just tired of one chemo after another and lately, feeling yucky on my current cocktail. I do so much better mentally when I'm feeling good. (Ya' think?) A river trip down DeNile is much easier then.

chainsawz

I want to ask this question, but I am afraid.  I also really want to know what it's going to be like at the end, but it scares the crap outta me to think about it.  I hope at the end, I won't know what is going on or care.  I know it is lurking in the future, but I still can't believe this is happening to me.  I know we all feel this way.  Stupid cancer.

denisela

When I was diagnosed with recurrence my ocn and I had the talk that if things got worse we would discuss stopping treatment well last week we had our talk. I have a wonderful husband and 2 great kids noth eleven so the talk wasnt easy and it wasnt brought up by me but my onc. he says my numbers look ok but Im just not rebounding at all . I was hospitalized for pneumonia 2 weeks ago and Im still having a hard time rebounding. Anyway about the talk we decided hospice with palliative theraphy he put me on a drug called megace used for appetite increase but also used for advanced met BC.  As far as time he says if we could find a chemo to stable and so far we have tried everything and no stability we are looking at a few months and no treatme would be the same so I chose to go no more new treatments no more sickness.. I think you and your Dr. will know when its time.

jeanne46

Denise, thank you for sharing your courageous talk with us. I am so sorry that you have not been able to find a chemo that has provided some stability and instead have worn out your poor body with all the toxins.  Perhaps a while off all drugs except the megace will improve your stamina and immune system and you will feel much better. Please stay in touch. Let us know how you are doing. Blessings for you of peace and comfort and wellness of body and spirit.

In the next week or so I will find out if the adriamycin is working or not.  I may be having a similar conversation.   

Gentle hugs, Jeanne

chainsawz

Denise - it is definitely a courageous thing to share your journey with us.  I wish none of us were on this road.  Please know you are in my thoughts.  Comfort and peace to you.  lisa

Flamegirl

Yes, I did ask the question. I have widespread bone and liver mets, and I asked when I changed from Femara to Xeloda at the beginning of January this year, what would happen if I take no chemo at all.

He said, you'll have 8-12 weeks. You'll get weaker and tireder, then fall into a coma, then die. Or, he said, if you put your mind to it, you can will yourself to die in about two weeks. He's seen it happen regularly, he said.

 That really put the chemo treatments in perspective for me. 

In fact, I have seen a friend who did just that. She rejected all chemo and chose the fast route. It took her 8 weeks to die, the last two in a coma.  

pee

I have not had the courage for that talk.  Of course I don't think I am there yet (right...like any of us can control this damned disease).  I actually think my onc will have more trouble with the talk than I will.