Too toung to lose my mum

Gracie87

This is my first post so I'm sorry if it goes on a bit... Just need to get it out: 

I am 22. I am a uni student and live with my fiance (we got engaged in Feb) 

My mum was diagnosed with breast cancer in March last year.

She was misdiagnosed and should have been diagnosed about a year and a half earlier.

She had a mastectomy and her lymph nodes removed from her left side.

Mum had 12 weeks of chemo, followed by 12 weeks of a different chemo, and completed her last session of radiation on christmas eve last year.

At the start of August his year, mum and dad began their 3 month holiday in Europe and mum got to spend her 60th birthday in France.

Half way through September, mum and dad were in Italy when mum developed phneumonia. She ended up having to go into hospital and on October 31st, after delaying their flights home and getting an Australian nurse to fly over and be on the flight home with them, mum FINALLY returned home to Melbourne, only be transported by ambulance straight to hospital.

I had been so worried about mum but thought that once we got her home, everything would be alright... HOW WRONG I WAS!

Mum is now in her 2nd cycle of chemo, after cancer was found all through her bones and in her liver. Initially they thought it would be all through her lungs but the tests have all come up normal (although her oncologist isn't convinced her lungs are clear).

Mum has come out of hospital twice now, only to go back in a few days later.

The oncologist says her bloods keep improving but we have just decided to bring my wedding forward, from November next year, to April.

The thought that there's a possibility that my mum won't be here this time next year.. It's just too much!

I don't want to do anyhing without my mum! I don't want to get married.. I don't want to fiinish my teaching degree and become a teacher... I don't want to have children!

I just want to curl up and sleep forever...