The dumbest things people have said to you/about you

otter

<sigh>

Okay, I am going to formally request that we stop making fun of prostate cancer and the men who have (or fear) it.  Let's award a bright, shiny medal to whomever has the largest vocabulary of silly words describing men's genitalia ... and then let's move on.  Please.

Here's why.

This silliness all started (IIRC) because some of us were offended by the "Save the Ta-Tas" campaign.  I seriously doubt that we can pin the blame for that on men.   Remember, it was most likely a woman (or a girl) who created the utterly stupid BC awareness campaigns on Facebook (What color is your bra?  Where do you like to set your purse when you walk in the door?).  The whole idea of those FB games was to "keep the men guessing" by not disclosing the true meaning of the updates or the purpose of the game.

So, to get even for "Save the Ta-Tas", we're coming up with equally stupid names for Prostate Cancer Awareness?  I am wondering if anyone here knows someone who has been diagnosed with prostate cancer ... or, even worse, treated for it.  If that person is someone you care about -- a loved one or close friend -- you are aware that a prostate cancer diagnosis is as devastating to a guy as our own breast cancer diagnoses were to us.  Men face the same type of "over-diagnosis" dilemma with prostate cancer screening that we face with screening mammography.  They are forced to choose among "bad", "worse", and "even worse" treatment options, for tumors with unpredictable aggressiveness.  And, they deal with treatment SE's that are as debilitating as anything we experience (even if we would like to claim otherwise).

"Prostate Cancer Awareness Month" is in September of each year, at least here in the U.S.  This website discusses the 2009 commemoration:  http://www.zerocancer.org/site/PageNavigator/PRO_Prostate_Cancer_Awareness_Month

And, here's Pres. Obama's declaration of Prostate Cancer Awareness Month for 2010:  http://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2010/08/31/presidential-proclamation-national-prostate-cancer-awareness-month

On behalf of two of my uncles (my mom's younger brothers) who were diagnosed with, and treated for, prostate cancer, and my other male relatives who monitor their PSA test results just as we monitor our mammogram reports, I would love to see the topic of this thread wander back to "dumb things people have said to us."

What I want is for us to be more sensitive and caring than the people whose words we criticize in this thread.

otter

dutchgirl6

Well said, Otter. 

So, if September is prostate awaress month, why am I hearing so much about Movember?  Men are growing moustaches to increase awareness of prostate cancer.  Why not Meptember?  

PearlGirl

On Friday morning I finished my rads tx, so the boss organized a celebration in the afternoon. As we were winding up the festivities, a new associate walked over to me and said "Are you the one with cancer?"  I acknowledged that I was and she handed me an email that she got back in June and said "I saved this because I'm sure it's true." It was a lot of drivel about not taking chemo and radiation and going the fruit route... eating fruit before meals to cleanse and add nutrients to your body that would fight all cancers naturally.

OK, so why in heck did I endure pain, inconvenience and expense of chemo and rads when I could have just had some watermelon or pineapple? Crap...who knew?

dutchgirl6

Those cancer curing fruits must grow in the same orchard as the money trees.....,

lago

fruit route I never hear that one before.

Yes I too when first diagnosed was told about this woman that decided to go the fruit route instead of doing chemo. I explained to my friend that I'm sure this woman was given a chemo optional choice and her diagnosis wasn't anything like mine.

mumorange

Save the Stiffies! love it...almost as offensive as save the Ta tas. Well if girls are pink then boys definitely have to be baby blue. Maybe a ribbon around the stiffie? Lago...get onto it ( creatively not physically!!) Ooops

ananda8

delete

ananda8

There is a thread I started on the Health Care Bill.  Next year will have some interesting things take affect.  I will bump it.  It has a link that explains the schedule of implementation as the bill stands now.

Here is the link.  http://www.kff.org/healthreform/8060.cfm

julie75

3jaysmom:  Good grief!  Did your hairdresser watch the movie "Dumb and Dumber"?  What a thing to say.  You're fine the way you are.

Julie

barbe1958

Otter, I just buried my ex-father-in-law last Tuesday. His prostate cancer metastasized to his spine. A co-worker has it and he voluntarily took out his prostate (he can still have sex). My SIL's Dad had his pc treated with radiation beads and my own DH gets his PSA monitored due to an issue 7 years ago.

This is supposed to be a safe haven for us to let it hang out. When we are all being silly and someone comes along and slaps our wrists, if we weren't emotionally balanced, it might make us feel like children. If the subject offends, please feel free to move on to another thread.

Claire82

I do think we need to be careful what we say, It was getting a little out of hand. I would respect the fact that it offended one of our sisters on here and stop. And get back to the subject on the thread which is ,, The dumbest things people have said to you/about you.

I don't want anyone to move on...

just saying

lago

Personally I find it best when someone offends with a post, contacting them off list is a better approach and seems to offend less. Just my opinion.

travelgal

The other day I received this message from someone who just found out I have cancer: 

"I remember hearing (Pastor's Name I removed on purpose to post on this board) say to a Pastors Conference that he wished every person could be given the diagnosis of cancer....as it has a profound affect on bringing our life and what matters into perspective."

All I can say is Really????  A diagnose of cancer brings profound affects into all our lives...fear, sadness, anxiety, pain, stress.  Guess I could put what matters in life into perspective WITHOUT being diagnosed with cancer.  And...I wouldn't wish a cancer diagnosis on anyone, ever!

Adey

yikes

Anonymous

AWFUL!

AStorm

lago - I think the ADA would differ with the headhunter's opinion. My DH was thinking about changing jobs and we checked in with a friend who is an independent broker to see what he thought about getting insurance with a new employer. The broker said that as long as DH is hired by a large corporation it shouldn't be a problem because they generally have large group policies and certain number of participants with pre-existing conditions is factored into their loss and premium calculations. 

November is sounding like a bad month! (pancreatic cancer, diabetes, etc.)

Sorry if this sounds a little off topic but I'm about a page behind on this thread...

3monstmama

lago,  she is telling you because she is a toad. . . . . and I do think the ADA would impact you plus the person who said that large employers have those preexisting conditions factored into the rates is also correct.  That is one reason why I will NEVER leave my job until I am eligable for medicare.

I will save my comments on purported men of the cloth who wish bad things on fellow human beings for another thread. . . yargh.

As for save the stiffies, I doubt my husband--who has to take the poke up hinny test---or my boss--who has survived prostrate cancer---would have been offended by the jokes.  If anything, I find most men are MORE inclined to deal with the scaries with a bit of gallows humor. 

IMHO, all the comments come down to how we the human race can't deal with mortality, the possibility of mortality, the possibility of disease, etc, etc etc. So we either don't talk about the stuff or we "cutifiey" it [save the ta tas] so its not so scary.  What was that great line from "Inherit the Wind"?--where Clarence Darrow is examining the other guy who in response to a question [think it was about sponges thinking] says "I do not like to think about the things I do not like to think about."  Thats people as a whole.  For the most part, we do not like to think about the things we do not like to think about.  And the things we do not like to think about are often the things over which we have zero control........humans like having control.  We also tend to feel we must say something.  So there you have it, a bunch of people saying things just to say something. 

this is a venting thread and we are venting. . . .as we should be

ktym

November is also a pearl ribbon, for lung cancer awareness.  The single biggest cancer killer of women in the US each year.

I've never known Otter not to be able to laugh at the ridiculous, and at herself at times. She has posted numerous times things that have made me laugh, cheered me up, and made my day.  If she's offended it makes me sit up and listen

 My vent of the week for dumb things people have said.  Just heard this one yesterday at my oncologists office (not from my own Onc, I was with one of her colleagues yesterday).  "All this cancer survivorship is making a mountain out of a molehill sometimes."  Don't agree with that quote.  The one I agree with is from the Institute of Medicine report on survivorship that likened not having a good supportive survivorship program to pulling a drowning victim out of the water then leaving them alone on the dock half drowned .

AStorm

at least she realized the mountain is a molehill "sometimes" and by that she means when it is not her mountain

sunny210

notself:

I had a brief glance at your thread for the timeline for the Healthcare Reform Bill. It looks terrific. Thanks for doing this.

Sandy 

3jaysmom

wow! just this pageis smokin, for all that's here. went back, just to catch up

1 Barbara A you are a riot..and i am running. need a haircut, as you saw, but cant find someone w/a brain to get it from yet..BARBE..who ever said we're emotionally balanced?CLAIRE82 started me thinking, and MONSTAMOM, as always, made me think even more.. however; with 2 friends dead from pprostrate cancer, and hubby just having a scare: i know its' sometimes as nasty as what happens w/ breast cancer. having some arguments in the past w/ males about "losing my breasts is not that bad, at least youre alive" to which, i of cours said"let me take your dick off..see how you feel then" of course, lots of thinking and lots of apologizing went on, on both side that time. I don't think ANY cancer is funny..having said that, Monsta moms comment on denying serious topics, laughing at our own sometimes horrible exp. w/cancer should make us all more sympathetic, or empathetic to men, or anyone w/ ANY form of cancer.  to me, i think thast lagos' commet was right on, cause i dont like feeling like i've hand slappoed.  i so respect ple more when they draw me off to the side re:a PM, than embarass me publily just one more .. i have such a wonderful Pastor..im HORRIFIED that anyone who is in a flock, never mind leading one would ever say something like that.. it absolutely leaves me agast. gues, once again, you guys have me running a short sprint: from crackin up, to being corrected, to thinking thru, to trying to accept ple where they are...to finally, being grateful for all i have in my life today, and that includes ALL YOU LOVELY LADIES!!

ktym

A storm, not her mountain indeed, that is so true

Alyad

that onc with the molehill comment... grrr.... to someone who sees cancer all day everyday- sure your garden vareity bc is no big deal... sometimes I think some oncs just forget how much people freak out on the slightest comment and we have every right to!! 

mcbird

JMHO but I don't think anyone needs to be slapping anyone's hands on these boards.  They are supposed to be a safe place for us to relieve some of the stress this monster disease causes.  I have mostly quit posting because of it and have had to block some people.  I love you ladies and wish I could meet and get to know everyone but I mostly lurk now.  Darla

FireKracker

come back Darla.you are missed

girls will be girls.they love to argue.it passes and we always get back to basics.

you are important to us.hugggggggggggggggggggggs

k

HappyGirl45

Here is a good one from my dear sweet mother.  The other day I had to go get blood work done for pre-operation test.  They could not get a vein; after many tries they did.  I called my mother (since she is a retired nurse) to ask what I should/could do to help this issue because I can imagine it will probably get worse as I get older.  Mother response not to worry I probably will not become an old lady.  Nice, huh!  

lago

At stage 0 you probably WILL become an old lady. What's up with your mom?

ktym

OMG happygirl, was she being sarcastic and trying to make a joke?

barbe1958

Throw your mom under the bus!!!!

HappyGirl45

lago, my thoughts also with stage 0. :-)  

kmmd, she was serious.  that is my mother... very odd woman.  i was taken back for a moment.