The dumbest things people have said to you/about you

sas-schatzi

This message is for Coolbreeze, If she doesn't come here regularly Please if someone could let her know this is here. I chose to write this in the public forum b/c it is warranted versus a PM, b/c it was offensive to others as well as CB

Coolbreeze, I've thought allot about what happened and I feel I owe you a public apolegy. It was a knee jerk reaction to something unfortunate that happened along time ago. My response on this thread was stupid. So, again I apolegize, good luck with your endeavors on the radio program. sas

riley702

Wow, that was very nice of you, sas! (((hugs))) I don't know what other topics she posts in, but maybe someone else does?

sas-schatzi

Thanks Riley, but I think I will C&P it to her- Kind of a DUH I can do that.

Edit FYI I also C&P'd it to Herstrong b/c I looked back acouple of pages and hadn't seen her post---Thats another DUH- I could have checked her homepage.

 Edit:I'm not going to be able to PM CB, so, Riley if you could PM it would be appreciated Thanks sassy

riley702

Will do.

ETA: done! 

ttay

One of my closest friends said to me that I just want breast reconstruction...because I want a man in my life.

I am really upset - I don't even want to talk to her!

SuperFoob

That is horrible!

Personally, I would no longer count such a person as a friend.

proudtospin

one of the really sad parts of this whole junk is the folks who you thought important to you....really dumped the shit on us

sorry you have lost a person you considered your friend but try to remember the new pals in your life?

Tazzy

ttay - that is very sad about your so called 'friend'.  'Friends' like that who needs enemies.  proudtospin is right... remember your new real pals.

ttay

You ladies are so right. Oh well.

I don't know where my sanity would be if it wasn't for this site and all of you ladies confirming that I'm not crazy throughout this whole process.

Much love to all, 

TTay

proudtospin

TTay, and remember to do a payback to others you meet along the way!  Treat them with the same feeling and compasion you want from your pals now. 

but you will~I know you will

riley702

sas, Coolbreeze said to thank you for the apology.

Joanne_53

Tray, I know that was thoughtless but .... I find that sometimes friends and people in general don't mean what they say. Somehow it is said and if they had time to take it back they would. I wonder how any times I said stupid things to friends. I wouldn't toss her out yet but I would talk to her.

Cindyl

I am the queen of the inappropriate joke.  I try to cut the tension and pain with a light hearted remark.   Fortunately most of my friends forgive me for my frequent foot in mouth moments.  I guess the old saying "never assume malice when stupidity is an adequate explanation" should be my motto... Just a thought.

proudtospin

Hmmm, Cindy, I need to take your advise, thanks

mags20487

my own mother today said something along the lines of "it is so hot outside we should just shed our bras and let em hang free"  Then I reminded her that I did not have any breasts....she actually forgot!  Really???  I am just your daughter after all

proudtospin

mags, well I am sure your mom meant not to hurt you as it must hurt her to see you, her daughter, going through all this

try to cherish your mom, my mom passed long ago and my sub mom, my aunt, passed last month

camillegal

Proid--so sorry they would be such support

ttay maybe she just wasn't thinking or thought it was funny?

Cindi I'm right there with u--People jave to get used to me as all my drs. finally did--I have a very sarcasric way with words and now I can't even filter as much--so I'm glad everyone I know and love don't take anything I say seriously.

SuperFoob

CindyL: "never assume malice when stupidity is an adequate explanation"

LOVE IT!!!! I even wrote it down. I've got to remember this one 24/7!

GmaFoley

Surgery over. Looks like it was garbage from rads. Path will be in Friday. Up to take pain med. doing better this morning. On iPod not computer hard to type.

michellej1980

This thread has kept me entertained for days!



I told a colleague about my diagnosis a couple of weeks ago and after a minute or too she said, "well actually I'm quite relieved because I thought you were going to tell us you'd got another job".



Yeh it's great to be appreciated but seriously?! This woman has never been known for her tact.

proudtospin

Michelle, guess she meant to complement you.....as in we can not live with out you at your job?  oooohhhhh, that means you deserve a raise as they can not bear to be without you!

barbe1958

Gma, GREAT news so far!! When do you get the final pathology?? Gentle hugs to you, sweetie.

Stormynyte

Ok, this wasn't actually said, but rather a post my sister put on facebook. I know this is stupid but ugh..just kinda irked me. She knows I am a facebook addict and would see this. I know it's not all about me, and I feel bad for letting something to silly bug me.

It is a picture of a woman with ample busts. The caption says "Whenever I feel down, I just remember I have big boobs and that makes it better."

I just had a mast. I now have one big boob, and that does not make it feel better. Blah.

camillegal

GMA good it's done---hey tom. is Friday u'll get u'r results then----rest now

Stormy kinda funny actually---but not for us. I was big--now I'm concave

Stormynyte

It is funny! A year ago I would have cracked up at that...when I seen it today I almost cried. Stupid cancer. 

Shayne

Thats not even funny pre cancer.......

Rowan47

Stormynyte's comment reminded me of what a close friend did when she came up to the hospital to see me a few hours after my BMX (I think I may have already posted this somewhere, but can't remember!!). She was well aware that I wasn't having recon, but she bought me in a book about the life of America's first topless dancer!! The cover photo was of this woman prancing around in feathers and big boobs, with heaps of other photos throughout the book of other topless women. Is it just me or is that inappropriate?? I was gobsmacked and couldn't say anything. A nurse came in after she had left, took one look at the book, said, "How bloody ridiculous" and threw it in the bin! She is a good friend, but does suffer from bi-polar disorder. I have never mentioned it to her, but my husband and I laugh about it now.

Surly

Ttay, maybe it was just a thoughtless and not malicious comment (about just wanting a man). If this is out of the ordinary, it would probably be worth airing it. But I'd like to note that my diagnosis has shined a light on some friendships and shown me that they are built on not much. Two friends I thought were solid, be-there-no-matter-what friends I connected with on a deep level up and vanished. After my diagnosis, I didn't hear from them for 5 or 6 months--the worst period of time for me where I didn't know if I was going to make it or not. One of them resurfaced, but in her contacts with me all she did was fish for praise for how she had done such nice things for this or that friend in her town who had been diagnosed and about her latest accomplishments in her work (we're in the same field). I suddenly realized that that is how she had always been--so needy and in need of praise. She always turned everything around to be about her. And since she was always charming, I played into it. But now I don't have time for that bottomless pit of need. It sucks me dry. I have other "friends" for whom I can tell it bothers them that I get some attention because of my diagnosis. Believe me, I hardly ever even talk about it. I've always been bored by health talk so don't bring it up. So, actually, it's not that I'm getting attention. I think it's that a diagnosis makes me a little bit "special" or that people have to be a littel nicer to me because of it (which I certainly don't expect). I am letting those relationships drift. Those I want to try to save, I speak out and say, "I'm hurting because of what you said or did or didn't do and I want you to know so that we can move beyond it." In two recent cases it has worked and made those relationships stronger. On the flip side, I need my friends and family and husband to keep me in line by pointing out when I'm not thinking about other people's needs more. I don't want to give people more reason to vanish. Everyone has their "stuff." Cancer does not give me diplomatic immunity. It's fun to try sometimes though.

barbe1958

Rowan, I don't know if I read your story here, but I DO remember it!!! Too friggin' much, eh???? And Stormy, sorry, but your sister is an idiot!! You should 'comment' on it saying something like "I guess I'll only ever be half happy again" or something silly like that. It will make her see from your view point and make others question her as to why you say that. I remember the first email I got from my step-mother (10 years older than me!!) telling about how lemon juice in warm water will ensure you'll never get breast cancer (which I already had!). I hit "Reply All" and wrote, "Too late for me!" I never got such a stupid email again. I hope it embarrassed her in front of the 100 or so other women she'd sent the email to.

Stormynyte

My sister came over last night. I told her she was fired for posting stupid shit on FB. She had no idea what I was talking about. I reminded her of that picture. She thought about it for a second and the look on her face..she looked like she was going to cry. She said she didn't even think about it. She seen the picture, thought it was funny and shared it without another thought. She was more upset about it than I was. Now I feel bad for calling her out on it. She is an idiot, but not on purpose. LOL

I was going to comment on it, but that would tell everyone on my FB that something was up and I still haven't told anyone other than close family.