The dumbest things people have said to you/about you

lvtwoqlt

Kathleen, this may sound crazy but my dad, who is diabetic, is also anemic. They had him do all the tests for upper GI bleeding, lower GI bleeding looking for where he was losing blood, but all the tests were negative. They put him on the iron pills and he takes a fist full of vitamins and supplements every day. He was finally tested for kidney function and found out he had reduced kidney function, he now sees a renal specialist for this problem. The specialist discovered his kidneys don't produce a hormone that promotes red blood cell production. He now gets a shot every week to help produce the red blood cells. He is still anemic but not nearly as bad as he was 5 years ago when he had to get 2 units of blood because he was so low. He still needs an occasional unit of blood but not as frequently as he did before he started the shots.

Sheila 

kmccraw423

Thanks Sheila - that helps a lot.  My PCP is all worked up over the cause of the anemia yet those same results were ignored by the hospital and nursing home.  I don't get it.  Back in 2009 I know that following bilateral mastectomy and the bleed I was about a quart low and they did a blood transfusion.  Why I am anemic now and why the hospital didn't do any testing I don't know.  Now my PCP wants my sister to email her (my sis is the doctor).  What is that all about?  She better just want access to my medical records from my numerous hospitalizations to try and track the anemia.  I"ll not have them discussing my health behind my back!

I will schedule a colonoscopy but not until I resolve the carotid artery thing.  And I am not going through all the prep right before the holidays.  I have enough on my plate.  It may be denial but I don't think I could stand finding out I have colon cancer.  I know I am projecting the worse-case scenerio but I can't help it.  Its like that old saying "Cheer up, things could be worse.  Sure enough I cheered up and things got worse!:

Shrek4

Actually, mardibra, overactive thyroid CAN kill you. Not saying your SIL had the right to compare, but with an overactive thyroid you always have Damocles's sword over your head, your thyroid can get into hyperdrive in a matter of seconds and you are in full-blown thyroid storm, that is very dangerous. Especially because most ERs do not know how to deal with it and when they see a heart-rate over 200 bpm they automatically deal with it like with a heart attack and don't do any anti-thyroid medication, and you can die right there without nobody the smartest.

kmccraw423

Went to the new podiatrist and he put me in a surgical shoe - I don't know if its better than my orthotics or not in terms of not putting pressure on the wound.  It is supposed to work because it is rigid (not flexible) so that's supposed to help.  I'm scared to death I'm going to fall with this on!  I go back to see him on December 1st where he will see if I am a candidate for a mesh draft.  See if this makes sense ... he said a wound open for this long gets accustomed to being open and isn't closing so we would have to make it acute to get it to heal?  WTF.  All the other podiatrist did was scrape away the callus around it - which the new guy did too but then he put some medicine on it and told me not to remove the bandage for 2 days.  He did say I was doing a great job keeping it clean and infection free - well, I should.  I've had two years practice.  If he can get this diabetic ulcer to heal I will be eternally grateful.

BTW - Everyone have a lovely Thanksgiving Day. Lova ya!

Sandeeonherown

24 hour rule ladies....pain, grief, sorrow, loneliness, fear....we feel them all and if, like me, you are feeling them with a smile on your face most ofthe time, others are clueless that you spend much of he day terrified...bu terrified of what? Don't think I am terrified to die actually....and have deicded recently that if I go early like my mom did, that I will be all right with it. I seem to be more afraid to live right now than die...if that makes sense...waiting on dr. apointments to tell me I am ok and can go back to taking risks by jumping off bridges (little ones), shovelling my damn driveway (not that i like to but it is necessary sometimes!) and possibly quitting my job and not being afraid there will be nothing on the other side of this damn job...pain in my hip and ankle and left breast again....tight muscles in my arm again...all since arimidex....I had rads and tamoxifen (until the heart attack) then a 6 month reprieve whle the heart healed....nw i am wondering why the hell I am on this new drug...will it really extend my life? so it blocks the estrogen for 5 years..then at 54...what happens??? meanwhile, it may mess with my bones like it is messing with my head...I am a positive thinker....but I am tired...and with faigue comes a feeling of being overwhelmed....and with overwhelmed comes everything else so.....ladies, if you are tired and not sleeping, talk to your DR's and go to a naturpath who can help..sleep is everything.

hugs to you all/

Sandee

dutchgirl6

((((Sandee))))  Get some rest, and take it easy on that driveway!

kmccraw423

((((((Sandee)))))).  I hear ya!  I am in the same boat and I don't like it!  What is this - some kind of test?  Put me down as 'failed" and get on with the healing already.  And if you have had a heart attack, stay off that driveway!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

NativeMainer

kmccraw--what your podiatrist said about a chronic wound not wanting to heal is actually true.  After a while the healing process just stops and to get it going again usually requires removing at least the top layer of the wound to jump start the healing process. 

I hear you about "Put me down as 'failed' and get on with the healing."  I wonder if life with permanent side effects is worth the treatment.  

kmccraw423

NativeMa... it does give one pause for thought.  Thanks for the info - maybe that's what he did and why he said leave the bandage alone for two days.  Today's the day I get a peek at it.

I hope all of you had a happy Thanksgiving and enjoyed precious time with loved ones ... or at least made it through the holiday! 

NativeMainer

That would be why the bandage was to stay on--it's hard to get the correct environment for healing (moist but not wet, warm but not hot) and every time a bandage is removed a layer of new healing tissue is removed with it.  Also, every time a bandage is changed it stops the healing process until the body gets all the bandage stuff up to body temp.  That's why we try to get people on dressings that don't have to be changed often--every 3 to 4 days is best.  But it depends on how much drainage, if there is any infection, etc.  Keep us updated on your progress! 

Reality

Hello to all - I truly cannot believe this - Not one person said anything dumb to me at Thanksgving dinner. I had a very nice day with my grandchildren and my son at his girlfriend's mom's home. There were several people I did not know. I did get the puzzled looks from those who did not know me, as I was wearing a wool cap in a home that had to be at 80 degrees!  Those who did know me asked me a few, intelligent questions. No comments were made - it was great. I was honestly dreading the day. I was even included in the dinner toast, with good wishes from all. Whew - what a relief!

Sher 

Reality

Hello to all - I truly cannot believe this - Not one person said anything dumb to me at Thanksgving dinner. I had a very nice day with my grandchildren and my son at his girlfriend's mom's home. There were several people I did not know. I did get the puzzled looks from those who did not know me, as I was wearing a wool cap in a home that had to be at 80 degrees!  Those who did know me asked me a few, intelligent questions. No comments were made - it was great. I was honestly dreading the day. I was even included in the dinner toast, with good wishes from all. Whew - what a relief!

Sher 

Reality

'sorry my message posted twice! 

Sher 

mumito

Our company xmas party is comming up and in two diff cities. Everyone and I mean every employee asks about my health and tells me how good I look. Oh Lord I need to make sure I have enough red wine to handle the two evenings.

asmd

I hate the "are you going to be allright? Did they catch it early?

I used to get annoyed at the you're so strong comments, but it's true. We're strong, continuing to function while living with life-long uncertainty. I think the people who say "you're so strong" are imagining themselves in our shoes, and feeling like they'd not do as well. True, we have no choice but to be strong, but what I see when I read the posts are courageous women being magnificently strong. 

dutchgirl6

I hope that this isn't a dumb thing to say, but asmd, you look a lot like Sandra Bullock!

kmccraw423

I agree!

Reality

Here's one that does not need much explaining - it speaks for itself: "Oh Sher, you look great! You must be in remission, right?"  I just smiled and said I was working on it. I wanted to say: "Remission my rear-end- (perhaps another word beginning with a and ending in s would be more fitting...) - I look like crap and I am in the middle of radiation. Since I STILL have cancer, I am going to participate in a research study following rads - Remisssion?"  .....but, of course I knew the person meant well, so I just moved-on.

Sher 

LtotheK

Yes, that was exactly what I was thinking about asmd, before I read the other comments!

I have given myself the gift of avoidance this year.  I have a cousin who came to town during my diagnosis and treatment, and frolicked around posting on FB without ever calling me.  This, the same person who I found an apartment for and took grocery shopping weekly.

Her parents and she are coming to my parent's for Christmas.  I asked my mother to please organize so that I don't have to see them.  It's been more than a year, they've never reached out, the damage is done.  And I'm not apologizing for wanting some good old fashioned avoidance!  Good riddance, no need to spend my hard earned mental health trying to unpack the crappy motivations of others. 

barbe1958

I like the "hard-earned mental health" comment!!!!

Aza

As awful as that is, I think I can top it. 

When I told my DH that I wanted to have my breast reconstructed, he asked "Why?  Are you hoping to be an attractive corpse?"

chabba

Aza - My first thought when I read that was "And what did he say when he came to?"  I hope he thought he was being funny.

Valgal

Dear Aza,

Reminds me of the soon to be ex-husband I'm still with. On the first day of radiation 2 things happened that made me cringe - 1st on the way down in the elevator he told me "I didn't have to act so bummed out about everything," and then (2nd) when the tech told me the calibration was "off" on the radiation machine my husband said "Oh, I'm sure it's OK or they wouldn't let you get zapped". How's that for reassurance and support... I guess I was supposed to be smiling and cracking jokes about everything. I'm sure if it were his d_ck that was getting zapped or cut into - I would have been expected to have a whole different level of empathy for him. Sometimes I just think its all about them and that is just the way it is. I hope everyone is well. I'm getting closer to a way out of this marriage  (for those who know my situation). Peace to all. Val

Mardibra

Aza - damn, that was harsh!

Reality

Aza - how awful of him. I am so sorry you had to go through all that. My ex-sig-other of 14 years, (just got rid of him 3 weeks ago), is always trying to get attention from people by being funny. One of his favorite sayings is, "Save the Tatas" - it is not mine. His remarks are often insensitive and have sexual undertones (he actually went through two sexual harrassment charges at work - I foolishly let him think I supported him, but I knew the women had been harrassed by his incessant sexual jokes. Before he was my ex, he asked why i did not want him to take me for my port placement or lumpectomy surgeries. The truth is that it would have been nice to have a supportive partner with me - (my adult children offered, but I felt it would all be too upsetting for them). I would not allow my ex to come with me as he would have annoyed and embarrassed me. Instead of dealing with his crap during procedures, I gave permission for a med student to spend the day of the procedures with me. 

My sig-other has been out of my life for three weeks. I have not missed him for a minute and enjoy the freedom. I hope you find the support you truly deserve.

Sher 

kmccraw423

I would say men are pigs but that's an insult to pigs.

LtotheK

kmccraw423, indeed!!!

BlueCowgirl

LOL @kmccraw...And edited to remove really offensive, angry stuff re: men that is totally inappropriate. Kthanks.

Angelice

Aza that was horrible !!!!!!  i agree ladies some men have no idea !!!!!!!!!!

Shrek4

kmccraw423 and it's also an insult to the men who are not like that, but are wonderful and supportive and there for their partners. Let's not get caught in the blame game.