MEDICAL LEAVE a/k/a Mental Health "YEAR"?

ChemoSobby38

I have had cancer twice in 3 years and I've had enough.  I am mentally and physically tired.  I want time to sleep in late, go to yoga or pilates to stretch out my aching joints, take daily walks in the park to build up my stamina and manage my bone and joint pain and eventually build up to real exercise. 

Right now, I work and not much else.  And let me be clear - I have a desk job, so I am not busting my ass at work [although it is a stressful job re: unrealistic deadlines and at time long hours] but at the end of the day, all I want to do is go home, take a hot shower to unstick my joints and watch tv.  I have no energy for housework, cooking, walking -- nothing.  I used to be very active and I had both cancers at a young age - the first at age 35 and the second at age 38.  I just turned 39 and I feel 90.

My husband was laid off when I was in treatment for the first cancer and has not been able to find a job since.  I am lucky to work at a place that pays VERY well and all of our insurances are through my job.  Now I want to rest.  I am tired.  I have been working and in cancer treatment mode since 2006.  I feel like such a failure, but I need to stop because my stress level is high and I am at a point where I need pills to sleep and I struggle with depression during the day.

On a particularly stressful day, I called my ONC and asked about getting a medical letter and forms filled out so I can go on a medical leave.  Their response was kind and understanding which made me burst into tears.  [I do take into account that I am on Arimidex re: emotions & hormones].  But they basically were in awe that it took me this long to ask and told me that most of their patients once they find out that they have cancer make an instant lifestyle change and go on leave or retire. 

Okay, so now I know I can get a medical leave on their end.

My problem now is how do I handle at work??? 

My office had three lay-offs and rumors of a fourth one on the horizon -- so, I am not sure if this is a good time to ask for a leave.

But if I did -- will NYS law protect my job?  I need my health insurance to continue while I am out  - how does that work?  What about disability?  I've exhausted my short term disability this year but it starts fresh in January.  But that is 12 weeks.  So do I go out sick, kick into short term disability and then long term????

Maybe a better option is reduced hours?  Monday-Wednesday? 

I am hoping someone who works in HR can help but I am open to any suggestions or advice! 

pabbie

Hi-I believe there is an 800 phone # to the Family Medical Leave Act info. line. You can get this by calling your state disability office.

Your story sounds very familiar to me. I too have experienced two cancers-Colorectal in 1999. (Chemo, rads, & surgery) and BC in Feb. 2008 (2 surgeries, rads, & tamoxifen) I'm in California so I took advantage of the short-term state disability program for one year BUT then I applied for long-term disability. (SSDI) I did hire a disability attorney to be an advocate for me. I applied for long-term DI in March 2008 and I was approved in Sept. 2009. BUT, now you could get MedicareL help but I don't know if it covers spouses. You would think they would cover children. (I only have furry children.)  I'm still on my husbands insurance. 

I'm only still in the beginning phases of my brain recognizing that the state found me unable to work full-time. I think I'm going thru a grieving process because I've always worked but like you said "when you work, that's all you do-no energy for anything else."-that's how I was. And always worried about getting sick because of a weak immune system. My government job would not let me work part-time.

Now I'm looking for a pt job which is allowed on SSDI. I think the perfect pt job is out there for me. I hope I helped you. P.S. I'm not in human resources; just personal info. Take care.

PS73

Yes, the family leave act will protect your job for twelve weeks after std but I believe the time on std could be longer than the alloted time for the family leave act.  Im not in HR but I just dealt with this.  Financially STD is paid at 100% and then 66% and LTD is 50%.  Part time was not an option for me because you need (my company in NYS) to be out eight consecutive days (including weekends) for the std to kick in.  .not sure if its state wide or not.

...the hardest part was telling them bc I was hell bent on working thru it.  Finally our nurse said to me, you have paid into disability your entire working career.  You have cancer, take care of yourself.  Maybe tell them how exhausted you are.  You've been through a lot.  I couldn't have done it, Im happy with the decision.  Half the time you are up all night bc of chemo and the other half you are exhausted, theres some space in between where you feel fabulous but thats not always the case. 

I guess also it depends on your company if you are worried about your job.  What f-heads would fire someone with BC who worked thru chemo? Is it private or public - large or small?

Good luck!

ChemoSobby38

HI Pabbie - Thanks, I will look for that number and see what they say today about to go on leave and insurance coverage - I couldn't do it if it wouldn't cover my husband. 

I have time to look into this because I want to get through the holidays and possibly go on leave in the spring when it's nice out again and I can get into an exercise groove.  Also, I don't think being home during the winter months will be all that helpful and may contribute to my depression further. 

Pabbie -- why did you hire a disability attorney?

ChemoSobby38

P373 thanks for the breakdown.  And yes, I was thinking I'd tell them how exhausted I was.  I don't want to get into any mental issues.  But you're right ... there are a few pockets of feeling happy or good and the rest is crap.  I really feel like a year off or even 6 months would recharge mmy batteries.  The last vacation I had was in 2006 while I was on chemo.  I had fun -- but, not fun fun ... I was exhausted the entire time. 

My office is fully aware of both cancers and have been supportive but you never know; and I don't want to lose a great job and excellent benefits package to boot because I want to rest.  It feels selfish; but I really need the time for TLC. 

And to answer your questions about the f-heads --- I work for a law firm and if that isn't complete enough of an answer, this firm has a history of laying off women while they're on maternity leave.  I didn't think that was possible -- but the nervous pregnant women who rush back after birth solidifies that rumor for me.

concernedsis

Hello from Long Island as well

Love your name, chemosobby.

Ok first of all - if you plan to go out on disability be sure you are unidentifiable on social networking sites such as this - if you are medically unable to work your office better not find a post of facebook about your marathon shoppig session or awesome day exercising. They can and have used it to terminate someone on return.

Disability starts with short term - usually not a lot of money either from the state - they require monthly forms filled out the oversight company - something like Zurich stating why you cannot work. It may be a hard sell to post nonmedical or quality of life reasons such as rest, recuperate etc - focus on truthful statements of fact such as severe fatigue, joint and bone pain etc.

Long term is tougher - they usually have to interview you (usually by phone) and will usually ask for copies of your actual medical records so be sure your onc didnt write - needs a mental health vacation in their notes. You likely do not qualify for SSDI from what you have posted so far - stage IV ia automatic compassionate coverage.The Long term can even hire investigators to check on your claim.

Your insurance should continue from your employer but you need to continue to pay your premiums even if you are not getting paid. NEVER let your coverage lapse even if you need cobra you may end up with preexisting condition. 

Can you afford the drop in income? Yes your job can fire or lay you off when you ask, while you are out or when you get back unfortuanately - if they can say your position was downsized etc and that it had nothing to do with your health. They also do not need to return you to your exact same job just something comparable. 

Would you consider an upaid FEMLA leave for 12 weeks? That is absolutely protected.

 Whatever you decide best of luck!

ChemoSobby38

thanks re: name -- I have to keep laughing to get through all this stuff.

And thank you SO much for the info!  It sounds right on the money. Great info re: Facebook ... I am on it way too much and never thought about them using it against me.

Also, I know that I have 12 weeks of STD available to me next year and will probably look into using it in the spring.  I also have over 210 hours in vacation hours and maybe can cash that out while out on unpaid leave so I can extend my leave for a month after STD ends.  A mental break for any amount of time sounds sooo appealing.

concernedsis

Good luck Chemosobby. You might be surprised how social networking sites are being used by employers, in background checks etc - if even one work buddy can get on and you post something that could get ya in dutch with the disbility people - watch out. I am personally aware of someone fired b/c of bragging about what they did while on disability.

Talk to your doctor and your social worker and come up with a plan.

Hope it goes well! 

ChemoSobby38

Concernedsis!  I just saw a news piece last week about a woman that was fired from her job while on disability for depression.  Problem was her insurance company found her FB postings where she looked happy and was traveling.  So they stopped her benefits and informed her employer who in turn canned her.  WOW.  I