For ILC Survivors who's name start with a G

Little-G

For ILC Survivors who's name start with a G

Little-G

Yes, this is a cap on the "new" thread.  Does it sound ridiculous, because it is.  We initially all came to this site for SUPPORT.  Now it has morphed into something much like segregation and prejudice.  Other cancer survivors being called "they" and some wanting a "safe haven" from other survivors because of their stage.  Are you all kidding??  Today's stage 0 or 1 or 2 or 3 can be taken long before someone who is already a stage 4, as well as the other way around.  No matter what stage we are, ALL of our dx's are going to be somewhat different, as well as each of our outcomes.  No wonder the real world is such a mess, if people can't even get along on a computer key board on a support group no less.  These are words, letters typed on a screen that goes into cyber space.  That you have the option of reading, or not.  If you don't like what was asked, ignore it.  Move to the next post.  It really is that easy.  But all this segregation and not wanting someone to ask a question that you have deemed "inappropirate" to the thread, and wanting to be monitored like pre-school kids is just ridiculous.  Our fears are not meassured in numbers.  The greater the number does not equal the greater the fear, or the more right you have to ask a question in a certain area.  I don't have a dx of IDC, but I don't mind an IDC woman asking me a question.  And yes, what's going on is just that ludicrous.  No matter how you try to justify it to yourself and anyone else, it is that simple.  We should support each other, not push each other into boxes.  Think about it. 

crazy4carrots

Little-G:  Oh dear, sorry!  My name doesn't start with a "G".

I really try to stay away from the threads which try to delineate what/how/if one should post for fear I find myself in the WRONG place, but I just couldn't resist this one!  Is bc turning into some sort of religion, where you're categorized as catholic, protestant, methodist, fundamentalist, evangelical, pentacostal (or any other religion belief one cares to name)??? Or square, oblong, triangular, circular, or oval boxes?????

Fortunately, this website allows private messages, which is where I communicate  some of my more controversial thoughts and questions to those that either a) I trust implicitly, or b) who I'm sure won't be offended by my statements.  I've made some wonderful cyber-friends through this website; perhaps some of us could make better use of the PM's, instead of trying to fit us into all those little boxes about which you speak!  JMHO, of course!

Linda

Little-G

Linda..You have made my point.  This was a "joke" if you can call it that.  I feel the same as you do.  I was indeed capping on the other threads that do put us in our separate categories.  I believe we should be able to post where we will.  Read the topic, if it calls to you, post there.  I am fully against all the separatism on these boards.  Being dx with BC is scary.  I don't care what stage you find out you are later.  One stage makes no body better, or above helping someone else.  Only that individual person can make that decision, and its as easy as not replying.

Thank you for replying to this and maybe it will make others think.  I wish you the best!

Little-G

Sherri,

 You're not a dunce :-)  There just has been so much shunning on this board of other people and so much "my cancer is worse than yours" going on I just couldn't take it anymore.  I don't care what anyone's name starts with.  Or how far along down the journey they are.  If you need support, a "support" group should try and provide that.  It shouldn't shut us out into boxes that we are supposed to stay in.  If a topic speaks to you, regardless of what number has been put behind your dx, you should be able to try and find support.  If someone dosn't want to give it, obviously they need not type.  That is my point.  I'm sure this thread will dry up and blow away like so many, but I needed to speak my mind on this. 

As far as I'm concerned Sherri, you can post even if your name starts with a Z! :-)

holtbolt

Little-G

I agree Sherri.  They really have.  Not for the better. 

I hope things are good for you today.

g

nosurrender

My name starts with g and I am an ILC survivor....

I am also an IDC survivor....

I am a ER/PR++ survivor....

I am a triple negative survivor......

I was stage one and I was stage 2a (or 3 because of that stinkin extra node)

I am not up on all the palace intrigue, but Little g, I hear ya!

love, the Heinz 57 Survivor

konakat

OMG Ath, no ILC and I bet your name doesn't start with a G!   Well, I'm an interloper too -- I have ILC but no G in my name.  I have been called goofy though.  Does that count? 

Anonymous

HA HA HAAAAA!

I have "g" in both my real name and my screen name...that has to count for something!  I hear what you're saying Little-G.  Unfortunately it's not a black/white situation...there are shades of gray everywhere, IRL and on the boards.

barbe1958

No G in my name either, but I've seen the pissing contest you're talking about. To be honest, I see more women on the Stage IV forum who can brag about being NED than I do on the other forums! I see a whole lot of pain and hardship on the regular forums as well...

I get attracted to interesting topics and with people who I've made previous contact...Hi Elizabeth!

Little-G

Holbolt - I'm glad you havn't seen it.  Hoping it stays that way.

NoSurrender - You are the Heinz 57 indeed!   I know you see the point I was trying to make. It seems to have gone a little side-ways on the board.  I hope you're doing well!

Ath - I got the joke :-)  Post on here anytime! 

KonaKat - Sure, that counts, it all counts!

Sige - I know there are shades of gray everywhere.  And always will be.  Watching this progress to the point it is now, if you pull this up as a newcomer, it must be a little intimidating.  Does anyone really need to be overwhelmed by the cancer dx and then have to sit and struggle to figure out what box they fit into where they can ask a question?  If the topic sparks something in you, you should be free to comment or ask.  As others should be free to comment or move on.

Barbe - Interesting topics - I agree.  Why would there be "topics" if you are not suppose to read them?  And why is there a spot to post a reply if they don't want you to reply?  Seems a private email might be better for those who wish that. 

wallycat

I just posted there and offered the deletion of my thread.

hear, hear!! or is it here, here

I agree....read what applies and resonates; leave everyone else alone.

crazy4carrots

here here or hear hear?  LOL!!!!!

LoriL

OK, I'm an ILC survivor, and my maternal grandmother's last name starts with G..... can I chime in? LOL

I don't post very often, but I just have to throw my 2 cents in here..... Why is it that women always seem to get competitive in such weird ways?! I remember the same thing happening back in Junior High, and it saddens me to think that we are still doing it now! Men get competitive about different things, but they still support each other. 

Seriously- I would bet a million dollars that if we were to post a question on a Prostate Cancer support forum that there would be no shunning whatsoever..... AND, I bet they would be flattered that a Breast Cancer Survivor valued their opinion and insight, and honored to answer the question.  

barbe1958

OH! I don't have ILC either!! My bad?

Lori, very valid point about men. They do do some things better than us...

Little-G

I know.  The really sad thing for me is that this board is just a small snap shot of how the real world is.  If you can shun someone from a question or an offering of support based on a number behind a typed word, not even knowing that person at all, I'm sure those feelings are spilled over in the real world in a much larger form.  It really does give me thought as to how things are so messed up.  I think whoever stopped in on this thread and posted, gets it.  If the words that were typed here bothered me so much, I would think something in my real world needs attention and I would step away from this.  The computer is a great venue to transfer information and to keep in contact, but its not a substitute for what is tangible around you.  A little more thought and kindness, everyone can use that and should give it.  Certainly all of us here, no matter what stage. 

AnnNYC

There are plenty of people here who are united.

Respecting personal boundaries is something we all have to learn to do in life.  Asserting one's personal boundaries is a perfectly legitimate and necessary part of making one's way in the world.  Respecting others' boundaries, and taking a moment to reflect on being told that one has violated a boundary, even if one didn't intend to, is also part of being a mature, responsible individual.

Failure to respect others' boundaries, and taking umbrage at even the gentlest admonition that one has invaded another's interpersonal boundary, is not "uniting."

Framing all interactions on this board as either "uniting" or "dividing" sets up a false dichotomy.  Human beings can't be entirely united or entirely divided.  Having personal boundaries, identities, needs, preferences -- and different social preferences about whom one wishes to converse with, for different circumstances -- seems entirely natural, and is understood by mature people to be perfectly fine and not "divisive."

ADK

Can I toss in two cents on this subject?  I have no Gs in my name and I was IDC/DCIS, but I hope I can say something.  I want to say how saddened I am by the changes in these boards.  In the past, there would be minor dust-ups and then everyone would calm down and things would get back to normal.  That's no longer happening.  I think a contributing factor is the unfairness of this disease and all the ladies we have lost lately.  It has been overwhelming and I think some folks are reacting by attacking everyone.  I think a secondary issue is the lack of proper moderating.  I know that Melissa and co do as well as they can, but this board has become way too automated as far as reporting posts and banning people.  Then feelings get hurt because some one is banned for no good reason and a crowd of supporters start posting about the unfairness of it (which it is) and it is self-perpetuating.  Does anyone else remember how hurt people got over the ratings of posts?  I was glad to see that option go, but at least no one was unfairly ousted because of a bad rating.  I agree that it does seem to be a reflection of what is going on in the real world and it ain't pretty.  Thanks for letting me rant.

Peace Out! 

AnnNYC

And might I add, men are not so great in their own environment !  As one of only 3 women who posted for years on an online jazz discussion board with hundreds of men, you should have seen the hissy-fits thrown by those guys if someone, say, reviewed a CD in a "live concerts" thread, or mentioned Miles Davis in a "swing era" thread, or offered to sell a CD in the "what are you listening to this week?" thread, rather than the "offering and looking for" thread!!!!!!!