November Rads 2009

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  • Niknak0320
    Niknak0320 Member Posts: 138
    edited December 2009

    oh Deb - *gentle* hugs!  I know exactly how you feel!  My RO wanted me to take a break but we decided after 17 sessions to switch to the 5 boosts and then go back to finish up the regular 8.  It worked but I am in the worst pain ever right now!  Aloe stings, silvadene stings, biofine stings...I am peeling everywhere, skin left behind on everything - my bed sheets, shirts, etc.  I can only sleep on my back at this point too because moving to either side just burns so badly.  Reaching with my right arm hurts, bending over hurts, even wiping my butt hurts :(

    I hope for both our sake that this improves SOON!  Try to hang in there, finish your last two sessions.  And ask for pain meds!  They have brought me some relief.

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  • Niknak0320
    Niknak0320 Member Posts: 138
    edited December 2009

    this picture was a few days ago (5 I think) and it's gotten much worse :(

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  • Lauren3
    Lauren3 Member Posts: 289
    edited December 2009

    Good thoughts and hugs to everyone who is having a hard time with side effects... I will say a prayer for all of you before I go to bed tonight.  Hang in there ladies!!!!!!!!

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  • amlg1
    amlg1 Member Posts: 596
    edited December 2009

    I am finally finished...It was a long haul.

    Deb..sorry your having such a hard time.

    Nik..Ouch ! I can't believe how bad your skin burnt.I had many fields treated, but the worst burn was under my arm.

    Stay strong

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  • debnyc
    debnyc Member Posts: 111
    edited December 2009

    OUCH Nikki! That really sucks! I hope you are finally starting to feel better. BTW, your pics are beautiful. Not sure which ones are the wig pics.

    and Deb, hope they let you finish.

    I'm feeling better today. I think switching to boosts last week made a huge difference. I am a bit worried about my armpit. That's where they're blasting me now. I spent most of yesterday laying down with my arm above my head so skin didn't touch skin. That weird prickly, numb feeling is back. Feels like just after my snb, plus itching.

    I'm hoping this blast of energy lasts a while, but boo! I'm off to get zapped again in an hour :(

    Sending healing vibes and healthy wishes to all!

    Deb

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  • cherneski
    cherneski Member Posts: 726
    edited December 2009

    Nikki~ I am so sorry for your pain.  But thank you for posting the pics!  I know just how you feel!  Yeah that is about what I look like.  I cant post pics here anymore since my son "fixed" my computer~lol. 

    I cant sleep either, as a matter of fact I am running on about an hours worth right now.  I am on pain meds. What do they have you on?  They take the edge off, just not all the way.  I have been on pain meds since my 2nd dose of chemo (I think) because of the nerve damage it did to me. 

    After my break last week, I continued to get more red.  About an hour after tx yesterday the pain kicked in full force again.  I am now peeling in more spots. I too leave skin everywhere, I cover my pillow cases and sleep on a towel to avoid any creams and dead skin from ruining my nice new sheets~lol. 

    I am about 5 different colors, red, pink, bright red, purple and literally black in some spots. My back is turning color now too!  When I lift my arm you can see the skin pulling.  I am trying to do my arm exercises but they are getting tougher to do, I feel pulling in not only my arm pit but my entire chest wall.  The most comfortable way for my arm to be is kinda like a guy whos muscules are too big for him to put his arm down.  I walk around the house like that, it is pretty funny.  I will be attending Christmas Eve and Christmas with the families with no bra, so no boobs.  It just hurts to bad to even think about putting it on.  SU@KSYell

    The only thing that helps sooth me is Aquaphor,  maybe you can try it.  I slather it on and rub, rub, rub, it helps for a while, but dear God is it messy and gross.  But hey it makes me feel a little better for a little while, till I cant take how gross it feels and have to shower~lol

    I didn't have any boosts but I had bolus every other day, up until last Tuesday.  I am going today just to be done!  I really wonder what does another 2 txs do?  But I will be a good girl and finish.

    Anna~  I am so happy for you!  Doing the happy dance!  Happy happy Joy joy!  Congrats!  Congrats! Congrats!Tongue out

    Lauren~ How is your energy levels?  Are you feeling any better?  Let me know there is hope!  It must be so great to be DONE!  Thank you for the prayers, we all need them.

    Deb~ I hope your blast of energy stays as well!  Make sure you do your arm exercises.  

    I feel like I am in the body of a 90 year old woman!  And I hope one day I will be saying I am 90!  

    Much Love as always!  Here is to us all living to be 103!  Deb Kiss

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  • Lauren3
    Lauren3 Member Posts: 289
    edited December 2009

    I am feeling a lot better Deb!  They said I'd start to feel better quickly and they were right.  Also, the skin started looking better literally overnight.  I'm not as burned as some of you but it was quite angry looking one day and the next day it just looked like a dark suntan that was peeling. 

    I went back to the onc. today and my WBC are even LOWER than they were last week.  So I had yet another shot in the belly (3rd week in a row) and I have to go tomorrow for another one!  Blechhhhhhhhhhhhh!

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  • Sparrow
    Sparrow Member Posts: 262
    edited December 2009

    (((Chemesky & Niknak)))  sending you healing thoughts!  

    Lauren, glad you're feeling better!  Sorry about the shots, eek!!!

    Deb, the end is in sight!  :) 

    Anna, you're done!!!  How awesome!  :) 

    Only 2 more to go, today and then tomorrow.  I feel like I've been rolling a boulder up a hill.  The last few steps are the hardest.

    I got out of the shower today and the skin on my underarm started sticking together.  I freaked out a little until I noticed one of my clear tape circles was peeling off & got sticky stuff all over my side.

    I had to get to the bank today before 2:00.  I was running late and couldn't find my stupid car keys!  I had to take the spare ones and leave the house door unlocked.  Not a good idea in my neighborhood. ;)   At least my dogs were here to guard the house.  Then on the way to the bank I lost a hubcap & had to look for it.  I still don't know how I got there in time!  I found the keys when I got back, of course.

    Ugh, my skin looks horrible in the rads field.  It looks like I have chicken pox on top of measles on top of a serious sunburn.  :p  I'm SO sore under my arm...I'll see the RO today.   Maybe she can give me something for it.

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  • josybee
    josybee Member Posts: 86
    edited December 2009

    amlg1,Congrats on being finished with rads!!!!!  This is day 5 post rads. I went in Monday for a skin check. Nurse gave me more telfa pads & gauze. My skin is so raw under my reconstructed breast, but she said just keep using the Silvadene cream. I keep praying that it will get better, don't know how long this takes to heal. But at least I am finished!!! Hope everyone has a happy holiday!!!

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  • gillyone
    gillyone Member Posts: 1,727
    edited December 2009

    I had my first boost yesterday. I was going to have 8, but the RO decided to give a little "extra" for 7 boosts so that I can get done December 31.

    My skin has held up well throughout tx, though there is one very red spot under my arm. My bra rubs on it so I have started putting a small soft washcloth between my bra and skin which makes it feel better. I have  just used Jason aloe regularly and the nurse  gave me some aquafor on Monday for the angry bit.

    Well done to all those who are finished. Hang in there those not done yet. Sending healing thoughts to all.

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  • Sparrow
    Sparrow Member Posts: 262
    edited December 2009

    I am finally DONE with rads!!!!  :D  To all my rads sisters, there really IS an end to this even when it seems like it will last forever!

    Niknak, are you done now?  So sorry about the burns!  Please excuse me, I really AM turning into my mother...  All my best to you!   

    I feel so close to normal now.  Not even a 'new normal'...  just normal!  :D  This is all I wanted for Xmas and I got it!  

    Josybee, you are in my prayers.  Take care of yourself and I hope you heal quickly!

    Gillyone, hang in there!  My armpit hurts too, although it's not red, it's black.  I haven't worn a bra in a month.  Healing thoughts are on their way!  XOXO!

    Lauren, Chernesky & Deb, thinking of you!  :) 

    Thanks, you guys, for being there for me!  You have helped me so much!!!  XOXO-  Tamara

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  • debnyc
    debnyc Member Posts: 111
    edited December 2009

    Congrats Tamara!!!!!!!!!!!! I only have 2 more left!!!!!! I'm already feeling better just knowing it's almost over. 

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  • Lauren3
    Lauren3 Member Posts: 289
    edited December 2009

    Congrats Tamara!!!  So happy for you!  You know it's funny, I keep saying "new normal" but I too feel pretty darn close to normal-normal, even without hair and with a reconstructed boob!  Let's hope it continues this way!

    DebNY and Gilly you are almost there! 

    Deb in NJ I hope you are feeling lots better.  You will be in my thoughts.

    I went back for my shot today but my WBC was back up and I didn't need it.  Yay!  I'll go back on Tuesday.  Hoping and praying that it stays up and I don't have to deal anymore with this nonsense!  I have my 6 month follow up with my surgeon tonight too.  Hard to believe it's been 6 months!  Oh....... and although my hair has been growing back since October, it's been sticking straight up in the air.  I was beginning to think it was never going to flatten out and start to look like real hair.  But lo and behold, last night I took my scarf off and there it was - flat hair.  Of course I still look like a "dude" hehe as I tell my husband... but I'm thrilled that it's headed in the right direction anyway.

    Happy holidays everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I've been on these boards for a while but this thread is the first time it has felt like home for me, thanks to you guys.   Cool

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  • josybee
    josybee Member Posts: 86
    edited December 2009

    Congrats Tamara on finishing!!!! And congrats to all that are finished or are on the way to finishing!!!!

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  • Niknak0320
    Niknak0320 Member Posts: 138
    edited December 2009

    Congratulations ladies!  I think we are all on our way to good things!!!!

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  • debnyc
    debnyc Member Posts: 111
    edited December 2009

    I'm off to go get my Christmas Eve zap. I now have white spots on my bright red arm pit. I fear the worst is yet to come, but am so happy for the break during the long weekend... then finally, at long last, Monday will be my final treatment :)

    Merry Christmas everyone!!!

    xoxo

    Deb

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  • Niknak0320
    Niknak0320 Member Posts: 138
    edited December 2009

    you can do it Deb!  Hang in there!

    FWIW, my red armpit got little white spots also but nothing ever happened with them!

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  • Sparrow
    Sparrow Member Posts: 262
    edited December 2009

    Merry Xmas/happy holidays to all my rads sisters!   Much love to you all!!!  :D  

    Deb, I'll be cheering for you Monday!  :)  Lauren, hooray for flat hair!!!  :)  Here's to getting back to normal!!!  :D  Josybee & gilly & Deborah & Niknak, keep on healing & take it easy!

    Cheers & XOXO-  Tamara 

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  • Niknak0320
    Niknak0320 Member Posts: 138
    edited December 2009

    I hope you all had a spectacular Christmas ladies!  I am so proud to be part of this incredible group, you are all fantastic!  We all need to celebrate New Year's 2010 like it's 1999!!!

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  • cherneski
    cherneski Member Posts: 726
    edited December 2009

    A late Merry Christmas to all!  I did finish rads on Wednesday and I my skin is already doing better!  I think I even feel better, but not sure if it is just in my head.  Who cares at this point~ I feel better!  LOL.  I am still unable to wear a bra with my fake boobs because of the pain, but soon enough.

    I went topless on Christmas Eve and Christmas, by topless I mean NO HEAD WRAP!  Yeah Baby I have enough hair that I look like I just have super short hair!  It is still pretty thin in one spot on the top, but doable.  I spike up the little bit I have and walla, presto!

    I hope everyone had a great holiday.  I know I did.  Being done with all this BS was the biggest gift of all.  I get a break for a while, then hopefully get recon in May.  Here is to everyone having the best 2010 ever!  We deserve it!

    Much Love, Deb

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited December 2009

    Glad some of you are finished rads.  I finished 2 days after Thanksgiving.  It actually did get more red and painful each day after, and even now I still have a big white blister in the middle of all the red.  It hurts still also

    Chern `  Happy to hear from you. and a belated Merry Christmas.  Hopefully you will be back to say hi on your Birthday which is coming up soonSmile

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  • buccaneersdj
    buccaneersdj Member Posts: 241
    edited December 2009

    I too had white spots near incision line a couple of days ago, I had hopes that the 3 day weekend would help. But since Thursday I woke up to peeling which is now raw skin. The rad tech had me stop with the Biofine and start on Silvadene. I was told to put it on thick and leave open to the air, yea right. Short of walking around Christmas weekend with no top on while we great all of our holiday visitors I find this impossible., I have very large breast and the lumpectomy incision is on the side upper breast near armpit and unless I walk around with my arm above my head it gets little air. Even when I lay down on my back; they only possition I can lay in anymore, my boob rolls under arm and lets no air in.  I have completed 23 rads with 14 more to go and have no idea how I can possibly hold up. I leave yellowish greenish slime on everything, my DH says he thinks it is the Silvadene mixed with old skin, I think it almost looks like an infection. Does anyone else have this? And how am I supposed to get this Silvadene off for rads, no way can I directly wash this area, rinsing is bad enough but it has the consistancy of lard! I am so disapointed I really thought that rads would be so easy, but I am in so much pain and no matter what I do to improve my skin it is just getting worse.

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  • Niknak0320
    Niknak0320 Member Posts: 138
    edited December 2009

    Sounds like quite a bit like mine was.  My RO told me to put the silvadene cream on first, let it soak in and then top off with biofine.  She also covered my raw spots with petroleum gauze strips and then topped that with wound pads - I used either my post surgical cami to hold it in place or an ace wrap around my torso.  I *really* believe that this was much better for me than keeping it open like I thought would be better.  I used the silvadene morning and night (with the biofine) and biofine another two times during the day.  I didn't wash off my silvadene before treatment if it had been hours since it was applied.  I also had that "discharge" slime you described.  Do you go back tomorrow for treatment?  I would ask for a wound dressing...and supplies so you can do it at home.  My RO gave me some but I bought more at the local hospital supply/pharmacy.  Do you have boosts to do at the end?  They will most likely switch to doing them now to give your skin a rest and the go back for finishing up the other treatmtents.  For what it's worth, the worst part for me only lasted about 5 days but I was at the end of my sessions <shrug>

    I feel for you!  I hope they can help you out! Gentle ((HUGS))

    8 hours ago buccaneersdj wrote:

    I too had white spots near incision line a couple of days ago, I had hopes that the 3 day weekend would help. But since Thursday I woke up to peeling which is now raw skin. The rad tech had me stop with the Biofine and start on Silvadene. I was told to put it on thick and leave open to the air, yea right. Short of walking around Christmas weekend with no top on while we great all of our holiday visitors I find this impossible., I have very large breast and the lumpectomy incision is on the side upper breast near armpit and unless I walk around with my arm above my head it gets little air. Even when I lay down on my back; they only possition I can lay in anymore, my boob rolls under arm and lets no air in.  I have completed 23 rads with 14 more to go and have no idea how I can possibly hold up. I leave yellowish greenish slime on everything, my DH says he thinks it is the Silvadene mixed with old skin, I think it almost looks like an infection. Does anyone else have this? And how am I supposed to get this Silvadene off for rads, no way can I directly wash this area, rinsing is bad enough but it has the consistancy of lard! I am so disapointed I really thought that rads would be so easy, but I am in so much pain and no matter what I do to improve my skin it is just getting worse.

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  • Lauren3
    Lauren3 Member Posts: 289
    edited December 2009

    DebNYC - it's your last day!!!!!!!!!  Yippee!

    Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday!

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  • debnyc
    debnyc Member Posts: 111
    edited December 2009

    This is it :) I'm about to go in for my last date with the linear accelerator, or as I affectionately called him, robot. I can't believe it's almost over. I'm happy, I'm sad, I'm tired, I'm burnt and I woke up with a gray hair in my eyebrow (which was plucked). Thank you guys so much for being there with me!

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  • Sparrow
    Sparrow Member Posts: 262
    edited December 2009

    Yay Deb!!!  :D  I remember my last day.  Driving out of the parking deck for the last time felt like Christmas & my birthday all rolled into one!  :)

    I'm not surprised all this gave you gray hair...  but just one and in your eyebrow?  That's too funny!  :D   Maybe I got gray hair too but I'll never know...  I haven't had my natural hair color since I was 17.  ;)

    Buccaneersdj, ugh, I hope you are feeling better!  :(  How many txs do you have left? Can they give you a break?  XOXO!

    I was so tired this weekend I just slept on the couch.  I managed to get up to go to our friends' house for Xmas dinner but I had to keep sneaking off to take swigs of Pepto Bismol.  The upset stomach  & heartburn seems to be much better today.  I'm not sure if it was from rads or not.

    I'm peeling under my arm and the skin feels really tight and raw but it's nothing compared to what some of you guys are dealing with.  I'm really sore too, it's worse than when I was actually in rads.  I read that your skin can get worse for about a week after your last treatment and then you'll start feeling better.  I can't wait till Wednesday! 

    'We all need to celebrate New Year's 2010 like it's 1999!!!'  I couldn't agree with you more, Niknak!!!  :D

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  • Sparrow
    Sparrow Member Posts: 262
    edited December 2009

    AAAAGH, the gray gremlin is back!!!  ;)

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  • debnyc
    debnyc Member Posts: 111
    edited December 2009

     I'm done!!!  I'm done!!!  I'm done!!! D-O-N-E done!!!

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  • Janets1
    Janets1 Member Posts: 57
    edited December 2009

    Tomorrow is my last day of rads......I haven't participated much on this thread, although I've read it everyday -  as there are so many SUPER women with far more aggravation than I have experienced on this journey - but my heartfelt wishes go out to all of you TROUPERS and may 2010 (and beyond) be filled with happiness, good health and peace to you all.

    Love,

    Jan

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  • cheers247
    cheers247 Member Posts: 270
    edited December 2009

    I'm so happy for you Deb & Janet!!  Congratulations on being DONE!  I have a couple more weeks to go.  I'm really red and blotchy now.  I'm having lots of nausea and headaches.  Happy New Year to everyone!! Much Love, Jessica

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