November 2009-Starting Chemo

suzieq60

Nette: Thanks for the link - it is really well explained. A goitre showed up on my CT scan last year. We'll see just how big it is or how many nodules there are from the ultrasound. Yes I'm an internet whore - what else have I had to do all this time I had already researched the whole thing and knew treatment depends on the underlying thyroid function. Can't wait to find out the blood test results.

Linda: Nearly done - terrific. Your new avatar looks great - just look at all that hair!!! The crickets are quite loud this morning. I feel the same as you do about our sisters here. Love you all.

We have our daughter and her husband here for the weekend. Yes I know we just went to visit them in Adelaide but they flew up here for a second honeymoon the day after we came back. It was supposed to be a surprise but they spilled the beans ages ago. They lived it up in a flash hotel in the city for a few nights and then I insisted they come here for a couple of days. They are both still sick too. Maybe we can give them back this cold. DH is really sick and I seem to be getting bad again. It just won't go away.

We tried out some of the wine we bought (while we were away) last night - really really good!!! but we'd better slow down or we'll need to go back and buy more.

Sue 

suzieq60

Hi Girls - here's a new hair pic - it's getting really thick but not much longer

Sue

micheleboots

Sue, mine is growing slow as well...it just gets thicker and fuzzier.  oh well at least the color I put in it, is not growing out to fast.

suzieq60

Michele, I hadn't really looked in the mirror after washing it until the other day - wow, when it's wet it looks really good. As you can see I've got lots of white hair, maybe I should put gel in it or something. I won't dye it yet, I kind of like the colour. Is yours really soft too?

Sue

micheleboots

I guess it feels soft.

suzieq60

It will be interesting to see how many of us end with masses of curls. Mine is so soft I sit there stroking it. At least I've stopped having the hand mirror next to me all the time

Sue

Melinda41

Mine is also very soft, the kids pet me like they do the cats.

But it is only curly on one side, my left side is curly, the right side is straight!

suzieq60

Melinda: That's a bit weird - it might even out when it gets longer. Interesting the kids pet you. I say the word "fluffy" that means you have to stroke my hair. I just love it. Maybe we were cats in another life I've got my hubby, daughter and son in law trained to do it

Sue

micheleboots

Speaking of petting on the head...a couple of years ago my DH and I were in bed talking before we turned out the lights.  The cat was between us.  Then my DH rolls over ad gives the cat a little kiss on his head and turns to me and pats my head.  He didn't even realize he was doing this..After I pointed it out we had quite a good laugh..

My DH likes to rub my head as well.  He use to love rubbing my bald head as well. Now if I could just get him to rub my feet with that much excitement.

BrendaSharon

LINDA!!!!

Your hair is looking fantastic!!!!

Sue,

Your hair looks just like mine did when it started growing good. It has that wave going on the top. I love it!!!!

I must say, I believe that us girls probably have the softest hair around. I wish mine was petted daily I would love it. I just stroke my own too, I just love the feel of it.

I finally got the approval letter from the Onc. to get my Port out, although as y'all know I was going to get it out anyways, but Wednesday I will finally get it out. Yeeeeee-Hawwwwww

Have a great week my Warrior Friends!!!! (((hugs))) 

Cafelovr

Thanks, Brenda! My hair grew thick at first. It's just now starting to grow out. But I have admit...I'm liking the color too. I get a lot of compliments from strangers that stop me. Mine still isn't curly...Straight as can be. It's soft too. But remember...it's like children's hair. It's virgin hair.

Sue, I think mine looks like yours quite a bit. Mine has more white in it. The darker shades are growing in slowly at the temple and sideburns area.

Had my last regular rads tx today. 5 boosts ahead of me and then I'm done. For me, radiation was so much harder than chemo.

mabelle

Natalie - thanks for the video, it made me cry. You remind me of me in many of your photos.

Linda - I was interested to see what you said about the joint pain being caused by lack of estrogen. No one has told me that. Does it ever go away if you stay in chemopause? ugh. Congratulations on your regular rads being done! I still don't know anything about the "boosts" - are they more or less difficult to deal with? You said that rads are harder than chemo for you... I'm curious - how so?

Sue - good luck with going back to work. 3.5 days sounds like a nice easy way to get back into a new routine. Your hair looks fantastic!

Melinda - so funny you say that your kids like to pet your head. Mine do that all the time. Especially my 7 year old son. He loves my fuzz. My hair is coming in so much better now. Its still only a few mm long, but it covers my whole head now. I'm hoping to go 'topless' by August. I love your crazy rasta hat with dreadlocks! Very funny!!

Brenda - that's fabulous that you finally got the go ahead to get the port out. I would love to get rid of this thing, but I'm on herceptin until January - so I'm stuck with it until then. I went to a fancy cocktail party the other night, and having it sure did eliminate most of my fancy party clothes. I had to borrow a dress from a friend - I looked pretty good in the end (if I do say so myself!)

I've just had rad #16 of 28. Still no redness or itching. Am I lucky or is it pretty normal to not have anything happen to your skin until the end? I've heard a lot of you ladies talk about the nipple area being the worst affected. Since I don't have any nipples anymore, I wonder - will I still get blistering in the area? Alicia - how did radiation affect your foobs / tissue expanders?

My life is crazy these days. I work for a music festival and we just opened this past Friday. Things will be completely crazy until July 4th. I'm getting to see lots of fantastic music, but I'm also working 10 - 12 hours a day! Plus getting my daily rads! My mother thinks I'm crazy, my coworkers think I'm superwoman. I just think I'm doing what I need to do. 

Have a good week everyone! 

suzieq60

Brenda: Good news. Good luck for Wednesday!!! I'm stuck with my port for another 27 weeks.

Mabelle: I'm so glad your hair is growing all over now. I'm not going back for 3.5 days just 3 days 4 hours per day to start with. Got to try and clean the house this week. The nipple does get effected a bit more because it sticks up. So if you've got nothing sticking up you'll be fine.

Linda: The boosts will be over before you know it. I hope you heal up ok. I must say rads were a piece of cake compared to the chemo.

My post chemo joint pain seems to have gone. My knees still hurt but are improving - the glucosamine must be working. I've never persisted with it before. So far so good with the Arimidex but the onc said it might take a month for any SE's to show up.

DD and her hubby went home last night so we have the house to ourselves again - it's so quiet!!! The cat seems happy to get back to normal.

All of the wine we bought has arrived. We must have been a bit pissed down there as we got 5 dozen not 4 as we thought. It's really great because a lot of what we bought can't be purchased through retail outlets up here - only at the cellar door. We're going to keep a note of the best ones so we can get them next time we go there again.

Sue

JustmeAlicia

Natalie ~ I just watched your video !  Love it ~ made me cry.... it is so beautiful how you showed your journey and you look amazing throughout your whole ordeal.  God Bless you ~

Alicia

doronet

mabelle:  you're over the half-way mark with your rads!!!  woo hoo!!!      The boosts are just more focused rads...the first area was large:  it covered the entire breast and then some.  The boosts cover a much smaller area: specifically the area where the tumor was.  My onc said the rad is not different in any way: not stronger, denser, nothing.  Just a smaller area.  The rad machine was positioned much closer to the skin than before, too, with an added attachment that was like a cylinder that almost touched my breast.  That does mean, however, that the boost area gets more sessions of radiation since most of the larger area is no longer getting the beam.  The extra days of rads make that boost area more prone to "damage."  Mine wasn't at its worst until 2-3 days after rads were over.  That is when the area with the boosts was really raw, but only bad for about a week.  Rad for me was a cake-walk compared to the chemo.

My hair is extremely soft.  And I don't think there are any working oil glands, as I can go several days without washing my hair and it has yet to get even a tiny bit oily.  Pre-bc, I had oily hair.  Gel does make your hair look darker, at least it does mine.

Michele:  did you mention before now that you had colored your hair?!  Details, please, details!  What color, what brand, how did it do, are you happy with it.

My hair is still shorter at the crown than anywhere else.  It still sticks up, so with gel, it it's naturally spiked.    It's also "curlier" than before, as I had stick-straight hair pre-bc.

Brenda:  Good luck on Weds.!!!!  yippee!!!

Linda:  you're almost there!!!!

nite nite, warrior friends.  Nette

micheleboots

Nette, yes I did color it about a month ago.  It was Loreal I think.  A reddish brown.  It was ok.  I didn't want to go to a salon to get it done.  I am too cheap.  Besides not a lot of hair to color. In fact I only used a little less than half of the solution.  I read that you should wait if you want to lighten your hair, since it uses bleach.  It is growing slow so my roots barely show....one good thing about chemo hair.

BrendaSharon

Good Day all Warriors

Thanks for all the good vibes and thoughts for my Port removal,

BUT, again it has been cancelled. Not because of the Onc. but my surgeon has some cancer related emergency surgery issues come up. So, therefore I get put on the back burner. I cried, but I'm over it today. I was rescheduled for July 26th, which is my 30th wedding anniversary date.

Kinda sucks, but, I guess I'll remember when it came out for sure. Funny too, because I had my first surgery on DH's birthday. Had my first hair trim on my youngins birthday.

The only really upsetting thing is now I need to have the blasted thing flushed again and that is what always hurts me so bad that it makes me cry. My hubby was sent off on a 2 week mission to South Florida, he works for the D.O.F. so I won't have him there to hold my hand either :-(      So, my little sissy is going to come spend the night with me and take me to my appointment. I go this Friday for the Port Flush Yiiikkkkkeeeeeesssss!!!! Such a chicken I am

Nette,

 I agree on how soft and NON OILY my hair is, but I have such a problem with day and night sweats (hot flashes)  and I sweat unbelievably bad so I still have to wash it a lot. I sweat so much it is wringing wet at moments. It actually runs down my neck and drips onto my shirt. I hate it. I wonder does anyone else sweat quite as bad as I from the tamoxifen? After all the sweating I get cramps that ache in my legs and fingers and neck because I begin to dehydrate. I am drinking lots of water to help with that, but I get sick of the H2O at times.

Well Warriors all have good a day as possible ((((HUGS))))

suzieq60

Brenda: Bummer on the resheduling of the port removal. Sorry your DH won't be there for your flushing. Why does it hurt so much? It shouldn't.

I went for my follow up appt at the rad onc today - that's that over with. I did a big clean downstairs yesterday so only upstairs to go. I celebrated my impending return to work and bought a new suit. Not sure if any of my existing stuff still fits - I'll have to have a big trying on session. At least I've now got one outfit.

Sue

doronet

Yeah, Brenda, I had the same question as Sue...why does the port flush hurt?  I never had mine done, so I have no experience, but from what I've heard, it shouldn't hurt.  So sorry you had to have the removal postponed, but maybe it just wasn't supposed to be yet.

Alicia, can we see a pic of your hair?  I noticed you have no avatar and I wasn't sure if that was intentional.  You and I were keeping very similar "looks" there for a while. 

My hot flashes were pretty bad pre-bc, but are no worse now on the Arimidex, fortunately.  Maybe the shorter hair is keeping me a tad cooler.  I basically keep a fan of some kind, even just a folded piece of paper, near me at all times so I can grab it in an instant.  My kids are funny, as they know that when I say, "Hand me something to use as a fan," they jump up to grab something for me.  I've trained them well. 

Neuropahy in my hands is continuing to bother me during the night when I'm trying to sleep.  I've started just putting up with it for several nights and then taking 1 mg. of Ativan to help me sleep on the 5th or 6th night.  That gives me some relief from the night hot flashes as well.

Happy Wednesday, everyone.  Nette

BrendaSharon

I don't have pain from the actual flushing of the port, what hurts is when they put the needle into the port. the pain is very excruciating to me. I cry almost every time. They won't give me anything to alleviate the tension before hand which doesn't help either. By the time they stick me I am so wound up I am just a shaking. It also hurts me at night when I am trying to sleep. If I lay on the Port side it hurts my chest where the port is, if I lay on my other side my boob hurts where the surgery was. The pain from the Axillary Dissection is still bothersome, and my entire arm goes numb if I stay onto that side to long. If only I could sleep on my back. Anyways, I had requested they give me ativan for only days of the port flush,but they won't even here of it. They keep telling me they don't want me to get hooked on drugs.... F........g whatever...

They won't even give me one for when I get it removed. I don't understand what the problem is.

So much for a Happy Wednesday for me... I so wanted it out today. I guess I've dealt with hurting this long, Hell what's another month of pain. OK I'm done whining now. Sorry y'all

feistybluegecko

I know what you mean about the port hurting - mine has been tender and painful throughout this whole time. I want the hting out - de-ported!!  But I want to wake up one morning and it is gone, and not have to go through the surgery - I am such a wimp:(

Mine is staying put till my next check and then the onc will decide what to do with it.  Hmmm

BrendaSharon

Phillipa,

I was beginning to think I was the only warrior wimp with this whole port thing.

I'm saddened you are hurting as well though, but I feel better that it's not just ALL in my head!!

P.S. It is good to hear from you, it has been a while. How are you doing otherwise? How is it over there in Thailand? Have you been being treated well?

Is your hair coming back, is it the same color, texture, etc. Ours all seems to be soft as all get out. It feels wonderful to just rub my fingers through the hair. Let's us know what's new with you.

((((HUGS))))

doronet

Brenda:  I don't understand why you can't get the Ativan.  (I thought you got it during chemo?)  You'd only become "hooked" if you took it several times a week for several months.  Can you try to get another dr. to give you a prescription?  I was running out of the tablets given to me by my onc. as well as the prescript. from my breast surgeon, so I had a visit with my primary care physician, assuring her I rarely took it and only when I really needed it, and she gave me a prescription.  You are getting screwed here.

Good to hear from you, Phillipa!!! 

BrendaSharon

I never received a prescription for Ativan neither from my Rads Onc. or my Hematology Onc or my Breast Surgeon. All they ever give me where some pain killers, which do NOT help anxiety what so ever. They only help after the fact. During chemo however, while at the office the nurse would give me an ativan about 5 min. before starting my meds. So, I was given a total of 4 ativan though this whole process. The first two visits I didn't know to ask for it. I seen you girls getting then I asked about it. My regular physician won't give me any either. Sleeping pills where the other thing I could not get from ANY of my doctors, that I felt I really needed at time!  All they would ever give me was those damn pain killers, which just made me itcy and antsy feeling.

Oh well I'll never be a druggy not that I would have. I do have a s- - t load of pain killers leftover!  About 5 different bottles, different types. I'm not much of a pill taker to say the least. Hopefully I'll be a good warrior and continue with my meds (Tamoxifen) for the next frigging 5 years. Even with the hot flashes day and night and the fatigue.

suzieq60

Brenda:  Don't you use Emla cream? Best thing since sliced bread. I put it on the port area about an hour and a half before and it doesn't hurt at all if the nurse is really good. Just bought my second tube of it.

Phillipa: How are you since you finished the radiation?

I went and bought the last of my 'presents' yesterday - a new washing machine. Mine was 20 years old!!!

Hugs to everyone

Sue

doronet

Sue:  I think you need to look into a support group for addicted shoppers.   

I, also, meant to ask Brenda if she had the EMLA.  I would never, in a million years, have made it through the chemo without it.  (I'm sure Brenda has gone over this with us in a past posting, but I can't remember from day-to-day, much less months ago.)  Do ya think her knuckle-headed physicians would at least give her that???!!!  Brenda?

suzieq60

Nette: I've only bought stuff we really need I should make a list of everything I've bought. Normally I don't spend on stuff for the house and I buy my clothes from one of the cheapest shops around. Being home, made me see where things could be improved, so why not. I definitely needed the new washer as the knob is broken and I have to turn it with my thumbs - been doing that for years. Then paint started coming off inside the top.

We get emla over the counter here.

Sue

doronet

Sue:  I was just kidding. I know you are buying necessities.   I am known as the queen of shoppers in my family and was even given a T-shirt with the phrase, "My hobby is shopping" on it.    I'm actually the one needing help.       And I know what you mean about being home and seeing things...I was lying on the couch one evening when I was feeling really bad from the chemo crap and noticed there was wall paper pealing off a section of the wall.  Was funny that I hadn't noticed it before then.   Nette 

suzieq60

Nette:  I know you were kidding - me thinks I doth protest too much The new washer isn't here yet!!!

I did some silly buying - like 23 books from Amazon (exchange rate was good at the time) , Fred and Ginger DVDs from Amazon UK, perfume.....

Looks like our heater has packed it in just when we need it - I'll have to buy one more thing

Sue

mommy2two

Hi Warriors!!

I have been away from the boards for a LONG time but I wanted to hello and let you know that even though I don't post much, I think about/pray for each one of you daily.  I hope you are all doing well.  I've been busy with my kids, new job, and school so I haven't had any spare time to visit the boards. 

In case you haven't heard or don't know....the dedication page of Jane Green's new book "Promises to Keep" says, "In memory of Heidi Armitage 1965-2009  and dedicated to all the remarkable women on the discussion boards of www.breastcancer.org"  I had forgotten that Jane Green was friends with Heidi (Heidi_Ho) so I was pleasantly surprised when I opened the book. 

(((Hugs)))

~Toyah