November 2009-Starting Chemo

RedheadPam

Hello Warriors!  I just wanted to stop in and say hello, and see how everyone is doing.  To all those wonderful women who are still on chemo, hang in there!  You can get through this.

My news is that I AM DONE WITH RADS!!!!! I had my last treatment today. It was just a bit over 6 months from diagnosis to my 'graduation' today.  I walked out of the treatment center and promptly burst into tears. I feel like I had been holding those tears in for the last 6 months.  I have cried a total of 3 times today (once when my wonderful DH sent me a dozen pink roses). It is going to feel strange to not have to have any treatments.  I do need to meet with my onc to talk about what drugs I'll be on, but other than that, I am claiming my life back from breast cancer.  Now I just need to grow some hair!

Many healing hugs to all, sending you vibes that tx will be fast and SE-free!

micheleboots

Pam, wahoo to you....I will be there at the end of the month....Your DH is super great...You should celebrate like hell tonight...

JustmeAlicia

Pam ~ Congratulations !!!  Glad you got the tears out, sometimes you just need to cry.  And how sweet of your hubby~    I am with you on needing to grow some hair girlfriend. 

Michele ~ did you start your rads?  How many left if so?  Woo hoo for your team Canada yesterday in hockey, that was some game. 

Hugs ~

Alicia

micheleboots

Alicia, I started rads a week and a half ago. I had number 8 today...so far so good..just a little red.

It was a great game..I souldn't watch the beginning of the game I was to nervous...I know crazy...you would think I had money on it or something.  I did watch the end and almost peed my pants...needless to say it was a little crazy when we won...we take our hockey seriously..like you Americans and your football..

doronet

RPam:  I was thinking of you yesterday for some reason.  Now I know why.  I must have ESPN (that's a joke around our house:  DH is a Sports' Junkie.)  A huge WOO HOO to you!!!  I've been wondering how I'll react to the last day of rads, but I still have 7 weeks to think about it.  (I start rads next week.)  I will find out my 5 yr- plan next week, also.  Called my primary care dr. yesterday for her to send past bone density results to my onc. in case my osteopenia (pre-osteoporosis) has an affect on what drug my onc wants me to be on.  Also asked for any other past info that she has in my records that might impact the onc's decision.

Littlebird:  I was asking you about the port removal. Thanks for the info on your experience.  Mine is out tomorrow.  Am really trying to focus the fact that it is a good thing, and that the EMLA cream will be a huge help.

Congrats to the Canadian hockey team!!!   The game was a nail-biter for sure.

BrendaShar:  thanks for the TX update above.  Lots of people on the list that we haven't heard from in a long time.  Hope all's well with all of them.

Cafelovr:  You okay?

Happy Tuesday.  Nette

Melinda41

Going for number 3/12 today. The kids told me that this new chemo makes me mean. They said I was sweet and sleepy with the A/C. The Taxol makes me awake and in pain and grumpy. They would like me to nap more!

I have at least a 3:00 shadow under my layer of duck fuzz.

About the big ass thing some of us have going on, can we claim "ass lymphedema"? That is my story and I am sticking to it.

But good news, with the Taxol I am not having the constipation and the decreased fart velocity. I am good and gassy but they shoot straight out the back, no more rolling around in my pubelessness!

micheleboots

I don't have "ass lymphedema", I have "gut lymphodema"...I guess I should work out..Just don't want to...Also can't get motivated to go back to work...I could I guess, but just don't want to...I will after my kids go back after March break...by then I will only have two rads left to do..Until then I continue to buy lotto tickets and prey like hell.

JustmeAlicia

Michele ~ okay so you are rolling along with rads.  Glad you are giving yourself time off from work.  Try to rest when you can and feel LIKE it !  That was a great hockey game.  WHEN USA tied the game I was screaming woo HOO at the tv.  Congrats to Canada. 

Nette ~ good luck next with your rads starting.  I hope it all goes quickly and smoothly.

Melinda ~ I love the "ass lymphedema"  lol ~ so funny !!!  I am with you on the hair, I might have about a 4 o'clock shadow.    Thanks for making me laugh.  Taxol does make one nasty.  I know it did me.   Hope all goes smoothly for you today.

Hugs girls,

Alicia

micheleboots

Alicia, I thought I would vomit when they tied the game...

RedheadPam

Ladies, thanks for the congrats!  I went out for sushi today with my co-workers -- my first non-rads lunchtime in 6 weeks! Soooooo yummy.....

 I went to a fundraiser on Friday for a foundation that gives grants to women with BC (I'm meeting with my new personal trainer tonight as part of my grant -- got to get rid of my "bigassitis....").  They had a spa treatment room that all the survivors got to participate in before the rest of the attendees.  I had my nails done, a facial microdermabrasion, then because that sucked all the makeup off, I have my makeup done by a pro.  Thought I would share my photo of little bald me all glammed up (I am wearing hot pink pjs, by the way -- everyone there wore their pink pjs...). Woo Hoo!

JustmeAlicia

PAM ~ LOOKING good !!!  are those your eyebrows?  You look great .......  I am jealous.

Hugs ~

RedheadPam

Alicia - Ha!  I wish those were my eyebrows!  The inside bit on each is me, the rest is drawn on -- but she did do a good job!

micheleboots

Looking hot Pam.  You should make it your picture and change your name to RedHotPam.  Sounds like fun.

mabelle

Pam - love the photo! you look great! Sounds like the fundraiser was a great evening and they treated you well! Congrats on being done with Rads!

Melinda - I have ass lymphedema too. Nasty stuff.

Michele - Glad your rads are going well. Good luck with your gut lymphedema.

I haven't noticed that I'm any meaner on Taxol - just sore... everywhere. The pain has stopped but there are still muscle aches, especially after exercise. 

I'm already getting nervous about next week's treatment - how crazy is that.

Be well everyone!

suzieq60

Mabelle:  Could you hear me cheering for Canada in the ice hockey - Congrats!!!!

 Went to meet the radiation oncologist today - she was really nice. Planning session set for Monday while I'm still well (before TCH No6). I start rads after Easter. So, we have time to go away for a short holiday as a treat - yippee.

 Sue

Melinda41

Had 3/12 T & H yesterday. NP said that the neck/shoulder pain is probably NOT a SE (since it usually stays in legs). She said I could load up on Ibuprofen since my platelets are good. If it doesn't resolve, we may need an X-Ray. She did have the audacity to suggest that it could just be age related! Oh No You Didn't!! LOL.

micheleboots

Melinda, just have a glass of wine and plot ways to get back at that Nasty lady...

Sue, Thanks for the cheers...did you mention you would like to visit Canada...Victoria is outstanding...Such a beautiful place to visit.

Hi to all, hope you are having a great day.

suzieq60

Michelle,

I've been to Toronto, Vancouver and Victoria - I loved Victoria so much I wanted to move there. I would love my husband to see Canada. I went over by myself when our daughter was on exchange staying a couple of hours out of Toronto. Had a lovely 4 weeks over there and also visited my brother who lived in Oregon at the time. There is so much more to see, it is definitely on my agenda - just got to find the cash. I'm also having a renewed love affair with my country of birth - New Zealand - can't get enough of it. I left there with my parents 47 years ago and didn't go back for 39 years!!! Now, I'll use any excuse to go.

Sue

micheleboots

Sue, so many options...so little money...Or at least that is the case with me...not working right now and feeling the pinch...I hope to get back to work soon.

JustmeAlicia

Just popping in to say HI, finally feeling better from my cold.  Actually cleaned out 1/2 of my closet today.  (looking for clothing to fit?!)  Played around with my wigs and hats.  Packed up most of it.  Decided I may need to start wearing a wig so I feel a bit better sometimes.  So here I am in a WIG !  I think because my friends want me to wear it ~ makes me not want to wear it MORE.  I too need a job.  Hoping to wait till September after summer break with the kids.

Hope everyone is feeling as good as YOU can !

Alicia

micheleboots

Alicia, I love your new picture...I too hate wearing my wig...the only this is that now the weather is getting warmer and so my big winter touque is to damn hot and it is still to cool for baldy to come out...and besides I look like a mangie monk...no offense to monks..it is salt and pepper and only at the sides..the top is all chia head...ah what a sight I am.  I am half tempted to just shave it all off and wait til I see some good thick stubble coming in..at least I woundn't look so ugly, just bald.

JustmeAlicia

NO Michele ~ don't shave it !!!  It will fill in.  My hair sounds about the same as yours right now.  The top is fairly sparse and just sticks straight up. 

Another mangie monk here.  (also no offense)

BrendaSharon

Seems we are all talking about our hair (or lack of it) here of late. It has been a long cold winter even in Florida, and SPRING can not come quick enough. Nor can my hair. I am being called fuzzy wuzzy by DH and friends and company. I look like a baby with the chicken feathers growing in. Go figure though my chin hairs are growing back really fast, just what I wanted.

I have now had only 3 radiation treatments. 27 to go!!  ~~ I'm kinda freaked out at sessions for some reason, worse than when I went to chemo. Somehow just lying on my back, spread eagle with my arms all up and out, I feel like I'm hanging on a cross and lying there for everyone and God looking down upon me. I feel so ashamed for some reason and then the tears begin to slowly trickle down my face. They keep asking if I am hurting, I say NO. Then they ask what is wrong. It's hard to explain to them that I feel so EXPOSED and ashamed and I don't know why. I feel as if I'm having another out of body experience. This CANCER shit STILL sucks. I have never had such surreal feelings as much as I have had with having cancer. The entire past few months have been like a bad dream and I want to wake up now. I'm tired of the whole ordeal. My like is simple, I don't  have a lot. I do have a great husband and children and i enjoy them, I just want to get back to the daily routine of just simply loving my family, that is all I have ever had. That is all I need. I want to feel good and to be able to cook and clean and be the woman I was once before this journey. I thought being done with chemo I'd be happy, but NOT yet. another month of treatments and then I still always will have to worry with the Lymphedema because of all the nodes they cut out of my body. I don't feel as if my one arm will ever heal right.

enough bitching,

BUT I am even having a hard time keeping up on board. I am reading all posts, I just so depressed that I don't feel like writing, so I just read. I will keep up with smileys best I know how. Love to all warriors and to those still have TX and AC you are all still in my thoughts!

(((((HUGS GIRLS)))))

JustmeAlicia

(((((((((BRENDA)))))))))))))))))))  big hugs !  I am sorry you are feeling sad and getting emotional at radiation.  Who could blame you.  Enough is enough already.  Hopefully you will get lucky and not encounter lymphedema.  So far I am okay.  I know you had way more nodes then me.  Bitch, whine and laugh when you can.  WE are here for YOU sister ~

Hugs !

Alicia

micheleboots

Brenda, you don't have to post big posts.  just a short note will do when you don't feel like writing...that is what I do..just do a "drive by".

I find that when I have rads if I have  a lady tech she covers me up as much a s she can.  but the men just leave me there all exposed and vulnerable...men.  I guess they figure half of the hospital has seen my tats, shy not the other half...

soon it will be over.

Melinda41

((((BrendaSharon)))))  You are due for a mental health break, I hope you can do something....do we wish for fun or just not traumatic? (My standards have really dropped for what makes a day good.)

Alicia; new pic looks good

Michele: I also think about shaving this weirdness, but I am holding out. I am curious if the Taxol will make it fall out again.

BrendaSharon

(((((Thanks Girls)))))

You are the rocks that keep me going through all that is necessary.

I appreciate everyone, everyday.

Love to all, Have a great weekend

suzieq60

Brenda: I know how you feel. I'm so depressed lately even though the last treatment is next week. I find I am on the verge of tears ALL the time.

I've been to see the radiation oncologist and have my planning session booked for Monday. Looks like she will have me lying face down for the rads owing to my "pendulous breasts" as she put it. Sounds better than lying on your back. She was really really nice and recommended I have the planning sesion before the last treatment so that I'm well and don't have to wait until I recover from the tx. I start rads on 6th April. My onc will be really impressed I have it all set in concrete.

We were planning a short holiday in between chemo and rads and were looking at flying somewhere, but I'm so sensitive about my lack of hair I don't want to get on a plane. I even stay away from the larger shopping centres because I feel so different. We ended up booking the same unit (at a fraction of the cost) we stayed in at the beach after Christmas - much cheaper than flying somewhere. DH had promised I won't have to cook much and will take me out for brekky and dinner.

My No1 buzz is growing and I'm just going to leave it seeing the end is in sight. The taxol shouldn't make your hair fall out more. One friend said hers started growing when she started the taxol and she had a reasonable head of hair a week after her rads were done.

Hugs to everyone still having chemo - we're nearly there!!!

Sue

cat60

Good Morning

Its a beautiful sunny day here in Central NY...I love to see the sun, good for my Vitamin D levels. I had my 5th T/H treatment yesterday..7 more to go...I have learned you have to be a patient PATIENT...4 nurses were out yesterday and the infusion room seemed so chaotic.  When nurse brought over premeds/T/H...I made sure they were the right ones...the nurse was so frazzled, good thing I fell asleep for 2hrs....Poor husband had to deal with the atmosphere .  I did bring an awesome coffee cake from a local bakery for the nurses and patients, so it made them all smile for a minute !  Good thing my nurse is headed for Vacation today, she needs one...I was feeling good, then as she was taking IV out , she says "Can I ask you a question?" I said sure !  "Why didnt you do TCH ?" Alot of women here who do Taxol/Herceptin do it was C.......I told her I did A/C first ,surgery and then follow up with T/H.....she then says "Yeah good thing for Herceptin as women with Her2+ 30 years ago , it wasnt good, you would be dead by now...."   JUST what I wanted to here....I guess it was the way she questioned my TX plan and to say that I felt was unprofessional......Well maybe vacation will do her mind some good !!

Hope everyone has a good Saturday...Im feeling good so far...going over to get my wig this morning that has my hair, One of my girlfriends, her daughters hair and another friends daughter hair that they cut off for me....I cant wait to get it ...even though my hair is growing in some , salt and pepper. Im sure this Taxol might make it fall out again!!

JustmeAlicia

My hair grew a bit of fuzz on taxol, it didn't fall out more ~ 

It is almost 60 here and beautiful out.  I just sat in the sun on my front porch bald.  LOL

Hope everyone is enjoying the DAY!

Alicia