November 2009-Starting Chemo

Cafelovr

 WAY TO GO!!

suzieq60

HURRAY!!!!!!!!!

micheleboots

Yahoo....So so so  happy Alicia.  Now you should celebrate with icecream...

Melinda41

WONDERFUL!!!

doronet

Alicia:  I was holding my breath when I was reading your MRI results-posting...What fantastic news!!!!!  Now, you can truly relax and enjoy that ice cream!!!

Melinda and Linda:  I know it must be nerve-wracking (sp?) to think about the upcoming surgery, but focus on the end-results and how much you will like what you see!  I know it will be so worth it!

I've been subbing a lot lately and am exhausted.  I whole-heartedly respect those people, (some of you included!) who work every day!  I couldn't do it any more.  :P 

Happy Thursday, everyone!  Nette

Cafelovr

I've worked every day during chemo and radiation. The only time I took extended leave is when I had my BMX. I'll be out about a month with the lat flap. Now I did work shorter days. I usually work until 5, but on those down days where chemo hit me, I'd work until 1.

I don't know...I just wanted to be "normal".

micheleboots

I was planning to start my recon process soon, but i think it might have to be put on hold for a while.  We just found out on Monday that my husband is being deployed to Italy for six months and he is leaving this Sunday...Holy crap.  It has been the week from hell around here.  So much to do and so little time.  To add to the crazy stress, this weekend is our daughters dance recital.  There are super long practices and just plain old sitting around while she dances.  Mean while the list of things gets longer.  pray for me that I don't have a mental breakdown this week...

JustmeAlicia

Linda and all of you that worked through chemo, god bless your souls.  I was proud to get my kids off to school each day and had some days I had to crawl right back in bed.  BUT, I did do it on my own, hubby only had to take 1 day off work when I couldn't stand up.  Normal, HUH ??  Wonder what that feels like............. 

Michele ~ don't lose your mind you'll be just fine !  I remember those dance recital days.  ugh  But enjoy the moment for they grow up so fast !

On another note :

Had my gyno appt today ~ UGH !  I swear I cannot catch a break ~ but nothing to get alarmed about he is just being overly cautious.  I got my period after my month off of tamixofen.  He was concerned being that can be a sign of uterine cancer.  So he did a biopsy along with the usual pap.  He also did a vaginal ultrasound.  Aside from simple cysts all looked good.  He will repeat in 3 months to see if the cysts go away or change.  He said my uterine liner was thin and perfect.  So I am not so worried about the biopsy I am sure all will be fine.

So girls what do you think, at my dermatolgist appt I am sure they will find some mole to biopsy Monday ~ HOLY crap !  I am so sick of Dr's ~  But feel really good today so I am going with it !

Hope everyone is well !

suzieq60

Hi Girls,

 I hope you're having a great weekend. I decided to change my user name. I like susieq and use it when I reply to blogs in the newspapers, so I just added my age to get a name no one else had used.

I never liked suepen as the pen part is just our surname shortened ie Penrose.

I'm doing 3 full days next week - wish me luck!!!

Sue

Cafelovr

Hi SusieQ!!

Happy weekend to everyone. I'm trying to get out of the mound of laundry that seems to bury me by the next weekend. My niece graduated from UNC-Charlotte last weekend and promptly moved to FL to be closer to her mom (my sister). So it's official...all of my family is in FL. I wish I could move back. Freakin' cancer! This is when I get down. I can't lose my insurance and switch dr's midway through treatment. Sometimes I feel trapped. I guess I should be happy to be alive. I just miss all of us being together. I love my job and my family. I just miss the way things used to be. It's hard for me to let go!

Oh well, woe is me

suzieq60

((((((((((HUGS)))))))) Linda - just rejoice in the fact you are NED. You can still go and visit them can't you? and you've got your new boobs to look forward to

Sue

suzieq60

Hi Girls - did 2 full days work in a row and boy was I tired. Today I have the whole day off!!! I need it. Work is ok - not much to do and I was feeling quite upset - I hate being idle. I used to be important at work (one of the most senior developers) and now I feel I'm not anymore - which you can expect after being away for so long. I ended up having a chat with my team leader and he invited me to a meeting about a new small project I'll be working on. I now have stuff to investigate pending the start of the project, so I feel a bit better. Yesterday I noticed all of the other programmers going to a meeting and I hadn't been invited, but I went anyway. Turns out I'm not on some mailing list so got left out. This sort of stuff can be really upsetting. I'm going to be added to the list, so I should be included in the future.

Hey Brenda - how are the peeps? When do they start laying? How are you?

Michele - how are you managing without your DH? Is he in the military? At least he's not in Afghanistan.

I'm off for yet another hair cut today. Isn't it great to look in the mirror and see a full head of hair!!!! They say herceptin inhibits hair growth and I'm starting to agree. It's been growing like a weed since I finished the H. DH freaked out and said don't get it cut too short, but I'll do what I like. I'm still trying to get those curls cut off.

Anyway - hope you are all well

(((((((((HUGS))))))))

Sue

micheleboots

Sue,Dh is good.  Yes, he's in the military.  He's a fighter pilot.  His job at the moment is not a flying one.  Yes, at least he is not in danger...in fact the only danger he has is that his pants might not fit him when he gets home....he loves pasta.

suzieq60

Good to hear he's somewhere safe. We lost another soldier in Afghanistan yesterday. It's such a pointless war.

Just got home from my haircut. We'll see if the curls are going after I wash it tomorrow. It definitely has relaxed a lot since I started having trims but in the morning it looks scary!!! I do want to grow it some later but want to do this experiment first.

Sue

suzieq60

Hey Girls - check this out. I've been cleaning the paving and finished around the pool today. Still have to do the pool edges but have left it as I need to be careful I don't get the cleaner in the pool. Now this paving hadn't been cleaned for 17 years!!!! since it was laid - it was quite black in most places and now looks like new.

Hope you are all well - how are you???????

Sue

Melinda41

That looks like quite a job Sue, looking great though!

micheleboots

Sue, your yard looks so inviting.  Especially since we have had rain for the past month.  I am so sick of rain.  But sunshine is in the forecast for the next week.  I hope I didn't jynx that buy having happy sunshine thoughts.

I think the rain is bringing me down.  I am starting to have scary cancer thoughts.  With my DH away, it scares me that I might get sick and he will be forced to come home.  You know how it is every ache or pain takes your mind to the dark side.  Can't wait for that summer weather.  Bring it on.

suzieq60

Well Michele - now it's raining and will be most of the week - you must have jinxed us  Lucky I got it done before it started. I also did the paving across the back of the house and down the side and out the front. Been working on it for a few weeks. I used '30 seconds' outdoor cleaner and a scrubbing brush on a long handle. I wasn't game to use a high pressure cleaner because of the sand between the bricks. I still can't believe we left it so dirty for so many years. I guess we forgot what it looked like.

Work today and tomorrow - I miss not working

Sue

doronet

Thank you to the soldiers and veterans:   those with us and those who aren't.

Happy Memorial Day!  Nette 

Cafelovr

Happy Memorial Day! God Bless our Troops...

suzieq60

Hear hear - we lost 2 more today, but nowhere near as many as you have lost over the time in Afghanistan.

(((((((HUGS))))))

Sue

JustmeAlicia

Hi Ladies, I am here lurking but not saying much !  I am in a really deep depression.  Finally met with a therapist today.  She put me on Celexa and Ativan.  I have lost 10 lbs in 2 weeks.  Between the worry about the lung scan and nodule, the liver mri, the uterine biopsy and the pap smear.  ALL of which came back ok !  We will look at the lung nodule again in 3 months it may have always been there ~  YET, I cannot get myself out of this depression I feel like I am dying.  I hate feeling like I have no control. I am exhausted, dizzy, feel faint and nervous.  So I am trying little by little to get up do some laundry small things every hour, move and do something !  Drank a protein shake today and a few saltines.  It will probably be 2-4 weeks before the medicine kicks in but I am hopeful it will and I can get on with living again !!! 

Hugs to you all !!!!!

Alicia

suzieq60

Alicia - We all have been through so much. I'm sorry you are so depressed, I don't blame you with all of the recent crap you've had. Go shopping!!!! That might cheer you up. Also sleep works wonders if you can sleep.

(((((((HUGS))))))))))

Sue

doronet

Awwwww, Alicia,  I wish there were something I could say that would help.  Please know that we are still with you, praying and cheering and crying and hurting and hoping...right along with you.  You can get through this!!!  It will get better!  Keep looking at and thinking of those two beautiful kids you have and how much you mean to them!!!  Tons of hugs!!  

Michele:  hope all's well with you and the DH being gone.  Been there done that, but was quite a few years ago when the kids were just starting school.  Never easy.

Sue:  hope the hair is behaving.    I recently looked back at some pics from right after I got hair and it was so wavy on top!  Is weird to remember it that way.

Melinda:  hope all's well with you.  Guess you are still looking forward to new boobs.  

(((((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))) to everyone!!  (extra to Alicia!)  Nette   

micheleboots

Alicia, I hope you come out of your funk soon.  I hate that cancer has done this to you and to all of us.  I too, worry every day.  I freak out every time I have an ache or pain.  Right now I am having an achy back so  you just know I imagine cancer in my bones...I have a dr. appt. coming up soon so I will mention this to her...sometimes I feel like a hypocondriac.  Before all this, I never saw the dr.  Now I feel like I am there all the time.  Anyhow, you know we are all here for you, here and on FB...hugs

BrendaSharon

Hello Warriors......

I think all y'all need hugs (HUGS)

Nette, So just how are you.. I see you giving encouragement to everyone...Your so sweet..but how are you doing? Your looking fantastic!!!!

Mechele, I know you must be proud of your hubby in the service.. weather in danger or not! If I had to give up PASTA I could not serve...  My DH is away too, dang Wildfires... He had to leave this Saturday at 4:30 am. He is a Wild-lands Fire Fighter for the State of Florida. The fires near Palm Coast (Flagler Cty) have been quite severe. He too said he may loose some weight while away from home. Cause I cook all the time. I break when he's away..eat cereal & junk food.I know we could sure use some of the rain y'all have been getting.

Linda, Just after realizing you want to be in Florida...where is all your family at. I hope they are not where all the fires have been. It is so hot here in North Florida, I don't know how they stand it any further south. This is one hot year and they say hurricane season will be horrific as well... which hubby also has to go to when there is a catastrophe, fires and or otherwise.

Sue, Your pool looks fantastic and oh so inviting...I've been so frigging hot.Great job on the cleaning. It is beautiful! I hope one day I can come to your world

 ALICIA~~~~~~~~~~~~ALICIA ((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))) I don't know what to say to you, except try to focus on all the good news you have received and that you probably have needed to be on antidepressants all along. I've always viewed you as strong and beautiful and that you where so together...You have a lovely family and support thereof ... wonderful friends to boot. Maybe the Tomox really hit you hard! Some people really can't handle it. I have adjusted, but always still I know I'm on that crap... Love you girly...get better!!~~~

SHOOT.. on another note: The way things used to be: Warriors, whether or not we had cancer... doesn't mean things wouldn't change...life changes constantly regardless. We have to remember there also is always bittersweet memories of our lives in the past...like our children once so little are now growing up... grandchildren growing ... we think of those that have past we have loved so dearly in our hearts. We think of everything we could do when we where younger... and now so difficult .. I have been on antidepressants long before I ever had cancer and probably always will have to be. My firstborn son was beat up sooo bad he was left in a coma for several months.... I almost lost him at 27 years of age (twice in the same year) I never thought I'd get over that...Well he may never be the same, but he is ALIVE and doing OK. He's not the Jim I remember but it is Jim, now 40, married and happy to be alive and feels very blessed in his life.

So, The Way Things used to be, is exactly as it says "USED TO BE"!

It's not just cancer, but life itself can cause us great depression!!!!!

Been a while, but sometimes reading these posts alone will depress me. I don't want to feel like a CANCER VICTIM anymore .. been there, done that,  over it ...just saying ... I need normalcy ..

Let alone I'm keeping soooooo busy I really don't have much time anymore for posting here or on facebook. I comment now and again and keep up with family pics, etc. but... just not on all the time anymore. The garden and the chicks keep me occupied. I realize everyday I don't have the same energy or strength I once had..I've been a tomboy forever.., then again I'm not 40 soemthing I'm 50 soemthing almost 60, and ya know I am alive I have survived and I'll make even with that Shi$$y A$$ Tomoxifen and all ..  I will deal with it. So much to be Thankful for

 To a NEW HAPPY FOR EVERYONE,  LOVE YOU ALL ((((((WARM HUGS)))))

suzieq60

Good to hear from you Brenda - how are your babies? Have they started laying yet?

Michele - I'm in the same boat - sore upper arm and DH insists I talk seriously to the GP about it today. Been googling symptoms of bone mets. It only hurts if I move it a certain way. Yesterday DH took his mobile phone out of my hand and my arm was accidentally pulled back and I literally screamed with pain. I did act it up a bit to get more sympathy, but the pain was terrible. That shoulder has a history of tendonitis and it is my mouse arm and I do spend too much time on the pc, so it could be a flare up of my old problem.

Went and saw an ENT guy yesterday about my tinnitus - he was REALLY nice. He's ordered an MRI of my head to make sure there are no vascular tumours in the skull base. He really doesn't think there will be anything as my tinnitus is only when I cover my ears. He said inside my ears look terrific. Anyway, I'm glad about having the MRI as big onc never had my head scanned and I always worry about brain mets. I don't get headaches, so that's a good sign. He ruled out nerve damage from the carboplatin - he said it would have shown up in my hearing test.

Sue

suzieq60

Update - GP says it sounds mechanical. He said the big thing with bone mets is night pain (resting pain) which I don't have. He mentioned the rotator cuff when I showed him where it hurts. DH has calmed down now

Here's a pic showing just how dirty the paving was - you can see the clean against the bit I hadn't done at the time.

doronet

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MICHELE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  WOO HOO!!!  

Sue: the pool deck looks awesome! Makes me envious, until I think of the upkeep.  

Brenda:  so good to hear from you!  I'll type more when I have time.  I've been working (subbing) a lot and my DD is home from college finally, so no time to be had.

Happy Thursday!  Nette   

Cafelovr

Happy Birthday!!!!!