Dating, Sex & the Single Survivor

Alaina

So while waiting in the docs office for one of my appointments earlier in the week, one of the "cancer mags" caught my eye.  It had an article highlighted in it called "Sex & the Single Survivor."

First I had to search my subconscious to remember what "sex" was, and when I remembered, I thought, Hunh, yeah, one day, you're gonna have to date again.

Now dating sucked big hairy monkey balls BEFORE cancer, I can only imagine that dating will be a beast of a completely different species now that I'm the Bald & Boobless Wonder!

*sigh*

I read the article with great interest however, and it had this fascinating chart; How to tell the Boys from the Men.  Some of the points that stood out to me were:

You're Dealing with a Boy if:

* He treats you like a charity case who should consider herself lucky to have ANY man in her life

* He doesn't want to hear any details of your cancer treatment

* He won't commit to a relationship, after all, you might get sick again, and he couldn't handle that

In the small snippets of time I've even thought about dating post-diagnosis, those three issues rose immediately in my mind to get me to STOP thinking about dating....EVER AGAIN!  LOL!!!

I'm really not sure how I'm going to navigate those issues.  All advice is solicited and welcome in that regard.

The article goes on to regale the therapeutic value of shopping for (and wearing) lingerie and ordering (and using) sex toys.

Much to the chagrin of my more trendy girl friends, I've never been one to be worried all that much about looking sexy via my clothing/shoes (or purses!)  LOL!!!  I believe in comfortable shoes cuz limpin' AINT sexy and while stilettos look great on the right person, I would break my A$$ trying to wear them and walk in them.  (yeah, I know, they're not for walkin')  Whatever...

I saw a flannel t-shirt/nightgown in a catalog that said, "This IS my sexy lingerie!" and I think I'm getting it for myself! :-)

I fervently await the day when comfortable becomes SEXY!

As to the sex toys...all I can say is this.  When asked if my biological clock was ticking, I responded, "Nope, I took out the batteries and put them in another device!"

CTFU!!!

But seriously...if you have some REAL advice for a single cancer survivor trying to find some meaningful companionship...I'm all ears (and one boob!)

Alaina

cookymkr

Alaina~  Believe it or not, there are actual men out there who don't care that you only have one boob. You might want to leave that out of the small talk at the beginning of the relationship. Let your personality shine through. Let him see the real you, afterall beauty IS more than outside appearances. Once he's into you, THEN you can have THE discussion. Let it be known that you are a package deal!  If he's worth keeping, it won't matter to him and he will want to be with you for your companionship and not just your boobs.

Best of Luck!

Lorraine

kmccraw423

I want to know where those men are right now!

sushanna1

Send one my way, too.  

Alaina

Since I'm actually ready (really ready this time) to start dating, I'm reviving this thread.

Updates, I'm no longer (completely) bald.  I wear fabulous wigs but have a respectable mini-afro underneath.

I've been fully reconstructed and have two perky full-b/small-C sized breasts (one slightly larger than the other).

And although I really tried to avoid it, I'm going to try online dating (Match and PlentyofFish) at least to start.

I'm running a contest for my Facebook friends to write a profile for me.  LOL!!!

Any other advice, success stories, warnings?

Alaina

mgdsmc

I know dating was hard before all this started. I can only imagine what it will be like now. You never know could be easier for us. I don't know about anyone else but I know I'm a different person now.

Trying to find someone online is challenging but does work. I know lots of people who found love online but wasn't easy. You have to weed out the weirdos and perverts. It will be worth it in the end right?

Alaina

I sincerely hope so!