Help!! I'm a newbie.

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Hi everyone,

I just received the test results from the first (painful) procedure completed by my breast surgeon.  I have brest cancer...surgery has been scheduled for October 20TH...and I have to have sooo many tests prior to surgery.

I received the results about a week ago.  And have been able to function fine during the day.  At night , or when I first open my eyes in the morning, I'm filled with that pit of your stomach terror.  This surprises me since I've been functioning so well during the day.  I think this is just hitting me.

I have enormous responsibilities in my life, all of which takes so much emotional self-discipline just to keep my head on straight. I really have a very tiny support system.  I can't fall apart and I need help.

I'm not sure how the chat rooms work...how do you chat?...by e-mail?? My e-mail address is ubehpy2003@aol.com.

I hope I can be of support to everyone!!

Sharingwithu

Comments

  • everyminute
    everyminute Member Posts: 1,805
    edited September 2009

    The beginning of this journey is quite scary but I think most of us find once we start treatment, we start to feel better.  I guess we feel like we are doing something productive!

    Feel free to come here and vent, ask questions, cry....a great support network

  • lmays
    lmays Member Posts: 114
    edited September 2009

    So sorry that you have joined our club - but you've come to the right place.  This website is a treasure of information and support.

    The chat rooms are live.  You just sign on and pick one to jump in.  I don't have much experience with them.  The few times I've been on they have been under-populated.

    Members can send you Private Messages.  When you sign in, there will be a small pink number on the Private Messages tab showing how many you have.  Just click.

    For me, these discussion boards have been the best.  I've learned so much about what to expect and what to ask my Dr.

    Terror at night?  Yeah, that sounds familiar.  We function well during the day because we're women and we know we have to battle on.  You may very well have days when you feel like you are "falling apart."  We all process this differently, but process it we do.

    Ask anything.  Feel any way.  You've landed in the middle of a group of women who get it and are ready to help.

    Big hug. 

  • cookiegal
    cookiegal Member Posts: 3,296
    edited September 2009

    Best advice ever got on here, and you can read my thread from a few weeks ago,(since my DX) get some pills, pop the pills. I only needed them for 5 days, and it made all the difference in the world. I still have breast cancer, it's still scary, I still cry a few minutes each day, and I still have to tell my mother, but I feel like myself again which is everything in this situation

  • melissa-5-19
    melissa-5-19 Member Posts: 391
    edited September 2009

    Sharingwithu-

    well I am new too, got my Dx 9/10-baby sisters birthday is 9/11 and boy I couldn't tell anyone that day. I don't know your dx- mine is DCIS-maybe---we did an MRI and got confusing results and so I go back for an MR guided biopsy on 10/5- the patient navagator has not been made available to me until today so I have my 1st appointment with her tomorrow. i needed xanxa , an antianxiety, which ALL BC women should be given- not for ever but for a while until we get confirmed diagnosis  which takes some time and is a HARD time to turn off our brains. My BC surgeon would not give me any so my medical onc did as he is an angel and I have known him x 2 years. We talk here and and ask our questions and these pioneers angels are smart experienced women that have told me the absolute truth- I am a nurse and have had a hard time with this so hang in--- OH something I should tell you is that you only get 5 postings a day so collect your thoughts and then post- the first day I NEEDED so much help I posted like a crazy woman and then found out that I was locked out for 24 hours.

    We are all so different and yet so alike- , I need answers to questions that don't even relate- and you know why? Because from one day to the next my dx changed- We have to take one day at a time- so hard for me to do this too, ASK for AN ANTI-anxiety and tell them what signs of axnxiety you have.i.e. not sleeping, not eating or eating constantly, diarrhea, fractured thinking or starting projects and ping-ponging to another without completing the 1st, yelling a family, kids, co-workers or yes even strangers , to prove your case, and notice how  many women have been on this sight for years- here to support themselves and others- Women are gerat= we might get BC but we stick together!

  • sharingwithu
    sharingwithu Member Posts: 18
    edited September 2009

    Hi Melissa,

    I'm so sorry that you've joined out club.  I've been on for just a few days and it's a wonderful help.  Women, ultimately, are warriors.

    I don't have a definitive diagnosis either and will undergo a bunch of tests beginning on Friday to determine the stage of the cancer and whether any cells are renting space in my liver, lungs or bones.

    This is a shattering experience.  I have a very tiny support system and many on-gong problems, so accepting this new "addition" to my life is so difficult.

    I did have xanax at one time but like Valium much better as the effects of Valium last longer and the crash isn't as strong as xanax.

    I don't know what 'stage' my emotions fall in but today I was/am just a mess.

    I want you to know that you are now in my thoughts and my prayers.  We all have to hang in there as difficult and almost bizarre as that may seem.

    Take care of yourself.

    Bo

  • TammyMarie
    TammyMarie Member Posts: 37
    edited October 2009

    Hi sharingwithu,

    I received my breastcancer news on August 13, 2009. A few days later I joined this site and I am so glad I did.  Reading some of the posts makes me realize I am not alone.  I underwent lumpectomies in both breasts because of LCIS, DCIS, and IDC.  I was not ready to have a mastectomy and one member of this forum made me realize it when I read one of her postings.  I am scheduled to start my radiation treatments next week.  I may have some type of reconstructive surgery on the left breast next summer as I am about a cup size smaller.  When I posted a question on reconstruction, I received so much good information and advice.  I have never accessed the chat rooms, but so many nice ladies have sent private messages my way which helped me work through my emotional mess.  I have come to realize that I will never be quite the same person as I was before my diagnosis.  This site is a great way to connect with people who truly understand what you are going through. Good Luck to you and don't hesitate to post your questions.

  • Qatar
    Qatar Member Posts: 6
    edited October 2009

    Well firstly welcome to our club.  Hummm, not that any of us would have joined out of choice.  Never mind.  I was dx last December and surgery completed Jan and Chemo from Feb to end May.  I think the best advice I can give you is "ask ask and ask" for some reason most drs tend to want to rush you from diagnosis to surgery to chemo to radiation therephy before you have even come to terms with bc. I have been part of a fabulous support group during chemo but the one thing that all the girls kept saying was that they all wish they had more time to ask questions and get answers that "feel right"  Anyway stay strong, breathe deep and stay in touch here and even see if you can get to meet the support group at your hospital (you dont need to wait until chemo)  Take care and my thoughts are with you.

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