David Vs. Goliath

SpunkyGirl

Ladies,

I was thinking about this when I was running this morning.  I'm sure we  have all felt at one time or another like we are up against a Goliath or an undefeatable enemy in this battle against cancer.  But using the David analogy, I was thinking that if he had been able to do his research on Goliath and saw the things that had been done to other people who had gone up against him before, he might have been a lot more scared than he already was to face him.  That's how I feel sometimes when I'm on the boards.  I, like most of us, come here for support and to help other people get through the battles, but sometimes I can't handle knowing about some of the really bad things that can happen with cancer.  One of my very dear Stage IV friends once told me that people who aren't Stage IV shouldn't read those threads.  I totally understand what she meant.  On the one hand, I like to know what the possibilities are and how to navigate them, and on the other hand, I want to live the NED fully and completely.  I am totally rambling here, but I guess I'm trying to tell the new gals one thing.  Try as much as you can to avoid getting wrapped up in what the statistics say, and try to just get through this process one day at a time.  Be selective in what you read, and don't read it if you know it will only upset you or set you back in your mental battle.  Does that make sense?

Love you all,

Bobbie

faithandfifty

Wise. Very wise.

Big hugs dearie.

xx00xx00xx00xx

everyminute

Been thinking of you all day today , Bobbie. 

You are so right - I am so guilty of getting wrapped up in the boards and the drama and the fear and the what could happens.  I am actually surprised when I see someone who is out 6 or 7 years and it is not so unordinary, really.

And then I realized, reading somethig about Chritina Applegate, that "statistically" stage 0/stage 1 is just about curable - what 98%??  Yet we have at least 4 women on the boards that recurred at this stage.  I am not saying that to scare anyone....I am saying it because it PROVES that this board is not representative of the real world.  The survivors that are several or MORE years out are out living (and occasionally stopping in to comfort the newbies - thank you, ladies!)

Now I am rambling....I guess what I want to say to the newbies is...live your life, have hope.

KerryMac

I used to get very wrapped up with looking at the Stage !V board too, I would search peoples diagnoses, and 'find' people just like myself all over the place. I don't do that anymore, I am very selective about what threads I look at, what I read.

One thing I have done on occasion is search the other way - I have gone back a few years, and read old posts, and realised that the majority of people who used to post a couple of years ago have disappeared - presumably getting on with their lives. Not everyone has a happy ending, but often you don't hear again from the ones that do - that is why it is so lovely when people come back to post how well they are doing.

That is a bit of a ramble too....LOL! Too much coffee this morning. I guess what I am saying is many many many people use these boards during treatment, then go off and get on with their lives. And, regardless of how this is all going to end for any of us, we need to make the most of being well while we are well!

charmd

Bobbie:  Thank you for your post.  I too am guilty of what you said and had to just quit looking at random threads.  I check in with my friends, but try to stay away from the darker threads.  It breaks my heart to hear what some of our sisters in the fight are going through, but it was starting to break my spirit too. I had to just step away and take a deep breath and focus on what is the next right thing for me to do today.  Again, thank you for the post.  It reminds me to not get caught staring at the forest, but to just keep working on the tree that is in front of me today.

Bugs

Bobbie,

You are wise beyond your years.  {{hugs}}

Pure

funny when I saw this pot months ago I was scared to read it-so I avoided it-this morning I decided to read it and it was EXACTLY what I needed to read. Thks SpunkyGirl!!!!

hollyann

Thanks Bobbi......I really needed to read this one today.......

barbe1958

I am guilty of being obsessed with the boards (LOVE your new avatar Kerry!) but don't know how or when to "break up" with y'all!

When I started, I just assumed that you developed through the stages 0-IV and then poof! you were gone. Kind of like school. It got me looking ahead and then looking at myself for symptoms. Everyone in my family that got cancer has died from it. I just figured this was my time.

I'm only (almost) a year out and am wondering if it's time to let go of this support line.

BUT, I do belong to a bunch of fun and crazy threads that I would dearly miss. So if I would just quit looking at the Active Threads or checking on someone when they disappear, it could be just a social board for me. But then, if I hadn't checked Active Threads, I wouldn't have found this one....

AsiaYM

Bobbie,  very happy to see your posting, it is so true.  Thanks

apple

when i was first diagnosed, one of my survivor buddies said..

whatever you do, don't get on the breast cancer forums.. and I didn't.. I waited till 3 months after my surgery. 

that worked well for me.. I totally wasn't worried.

heh