My mumma

N1Scholar

I hope someone out there reads this and can help me. My mom died 31 days ago from breast cancer that had spread to her lungs. She was originally diagnosed in October of 2007, underwent a mastectomy and reconstruction of her right breast, chemotherapy and radiation. On July 9, she was advised, after a lung biopsy preempted by a chronic and debilitating cough, that the cancer had spread to her left lung, but only at a cellular level. She had an appointment at Dana Farber and proceeded to the hospital on July 20. It just was not meant to be. On July 22, she was placed on a ventilator and the cancer in the cells consumed the oxygen in her lungs. The docotrs at Brigham-Women's did eveything they could do but she passed quietly, my dad, brother and I by her side on July 23. It was later revealed that she had a nodule on her brain as well.

I am 28 years old and feel so lost, confused, angry, guilty....the list goes on and on. I closed on my first home six days after she died; she never got to see inside the house. I try not to dwell on specific things, try to remember the old cliches: "she is in a better place," "she is not in pain," etc etc. But the hole she has left in this family is huge and I am struggling with a way to fill it. I'd like to think of myself as a strong woman but I am nowhere near as strong as her.

Her father, my "Pa", died on August 9, after a 10 week battle with stomach cancer. How much can one family endure right? Pa was 87, nearly 88, had lived a good, long and productive life. When Mumma died, he lost his will, his gem was gone....his baby had left him before he was ready to go.

My grandfathers death was expected, anticipated and to some, a relief, for him and for them. My mothers passing was shocking, unexpected and too soon. I just feel alone, even though I have my husband, father and brothers; I just am so saddened to know that I will never receive another phone call, text message or birthday card from my mumma. I miss her so very much.

lovemyfamilysomuch

NIscholar.

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. What a shock this must be for you and your family.  I send you thoughts and good wishes as you grieve your beautiful mumma.  There are no words.  Please take care of yourself thru this sad time.  You have been heard, and write again if you feel the need of more support. In sisterhood, xo

CapeBretongirl

Your post has broken my heart.  I'am so very sorry for your loss.   My mom passed away suddenly in 08 from BC.  I miss her every day.  I wish I could say or do something to ease your pain.  

Angel

xoxoxo 

iodine

Oh, my dear, nothing, except the loss of a child, is as hurtful, imo, as loosing one's mother.  I bet, like most good moms, yours felt you could do no wrong, and are the smartest and most special girl in the world.  It is the totally unconditional love from a mother that is the hardest to loose.  We will never meet anyone who can love the way a mother does.  And even if we don't get along, it is still the closest to perfect love as I think possible here on earth.

I was tough, adult, in charge, etc, etc --- until my mom stroked and died.  I just thought I was.  I struggled thru several weeks of lost direction and attempting to "just move on" and it wasn't working.  I finally choose to seek professional help.  Now, not everyone needs or wants that.  I had other issues that came to the forefront but the straw was loosing the one person in the world who thought I was perfect.

I have tears in my eyes for myself as well as for you, knowing what you are faceing.  It never completely goes away, but it does hurt a little less as time goes by.  As you find ways in your life that you were taught by her, and strength that she gave you, you will keep on.  Of course, you must, she is up somewhere becomming your gardian angel and watching over you and yours.

blessings.

susanb2

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. I lost my dad 10 years ago on July 23, 1999. I still miss him, especially when things happen that I want to talk to him about or something I want him to see. I do believe he is in heaven and I will see him again one day.

 It takes a lot longer than a month to deal with such a loss. Be kind to yourself.  I pray that you find strength and comfort during this very difficult time.

.

N1Scholar

Thank you very much for your kind words. I was hoping to find some individuals who understood, could relate and would have something to say that I could relate to. I am so glad to have found you all.