MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

karen1956

hubby just told me today that an acquaintance (sp) was recently Dx with a new primary....4 year survivor... BC just plain old s****! 

I would love to have my old life back....I liked the old me much better than the new me....

 Never dreamed that this is what middle age would be!

smithlme

No kidding Karen1956! This is NOT the mid life I signed up for. I figured with the kids growing up it was finally going to be "my" time. It was my time alright....and not in a good way!

Ainm

Cookie, sorry I missed your birthday!!!!  But a good Irish "Breithlá shona duit!!!!!"  I didn't log on last night cause DH and I went to the cinema!!!!  This from someone who is afraid to budge since dx a year ago, but we went to see Avatar in 3D and really enjoyed it - I did get a bit panicky about two hours into it but I just concentrated on my breathing for a while and I got through it.  Now he wants me to go to a concert on Saturday!!  And I'm having my first post chemo hair do on Friday!!!

Tea - I am not a huge lover of tea but am drinking it more since dx because I gave up my Chinese red tea because DH read somewhere that there is estrogen in Chinese tea.  I drink my tea weak, black and without sugar (not your typical Irish cuppa!!) As for brands etc if you like it go for it - I change brands regularly for variety.  Twinnings and Liptons are British brands as far as I know, Lyons and Barry's are Irish.  I am quite happy to use tea bags too.  My Mum drinks copious amounts of tea daily!!!  I don't think iced tea will ever catch on here - we just don't have the weather for it!!

Hmm maybe it's time for a cuppa now, any one else join me???

elimar86861

I'm already sipping away here, Ainm! 

p.s.  I also helped Avatar 3-D on it's way to breaking box-office records.  The ticket price I paid was $11.25, and I'm sure that's not at the high end. (I don't know the conversion.)

Ainm

Hi El,

I'm suppose to be doing a vat return at the moment but here I am sipping tea, tv on and chatting on BC org - I really find it so hard to concentrate on work these days!!! 

I paid 7 euro per ticket for Avatar which I thought was very cheap, we went to a cinema that I hadn't gone to for a long time and I was surprised at the cost because usually the tickets are about 8.50 euro.

DH just phoned to know how I was getting on with the vat return and I lied to him!!!!!!  I said I was working on it!!!!!  OMG - I am sooooooo bad, I better go and try and make some progress.

I'll log on tonight and catch up.

smithlme

Good morning middies! I just finished my first cup of tea for the day.

I received a jury summons for tomorrow so I'm hoping when I check out the status tonight it will be canceled. I know it's my civic duty, but I don't like serving. I served on a jury many years ago and what a boring day it was. This is superior court, so I'm really hoping I don't have to go.

Kleenex

Smithlme - with jury duty, I always think about the fact that if I were (falsely, of course) accused of something and went to trial, I'd want someone like me on my jury... But if you can't stand the idea of being trapped in some dreadfully boring trial, all you have to do is work a phrase like, "Well, obviously, if the case has gone THIS far, the defendant is guilty," into the jury interview process. You'll be whisked away immediately and sent home. Another phrase I saw someone use to that advantage was something like, "Of COURSE I would weigh the testimony of a police officer higher than that of an average citizen."

Saw Avatar in 2D - not a big 3D fan. I got a certificate for four FREE tickets and two FREE medium drinks and two FREE medium popcorns from one of the girls on my Girl Scout troop - and yet we still managed to spend $9+ because my girls wanted raspberry slurpees at $4.50 a pop.

That trial I'll need a jury for will be for smuggling snacks and beverages into the movie theater. I just can't STAND to pay those prices!

Meece

I do the same thing.  You complain that it costs $10 each to get into the movie, but a tub of popcorn and two softdrinks cost $20!

LauraM

I saw Avitar with my two kids on Saturday night and it was so good.  It was funny because my 9 year old daughter tried my bribe my 10 year old son with $20 to change the movie he picked but he wouldn't and she ended up loving it. 

gillyone

I used to smuggle snacks in to the movie theater when my kids were little. Now they don't go with us and we do without snacks.(But younger son did come to Avatar with us so we would pay) I don't eat popcorn and hate it when someone is near me with one of those ginormous neverending tubs with that sickly "butter" smell.

elimar86861

Mom-smugglers unite!   We're pretty much forced into it with those jacked-up prices.  I not only smuggled due to cost, but on occasion smuggled for nutrition (i.e. raisins, granola bars, etc.)

lhuntzinger4131

I'm officially done with chemo! Hooray!!! Can anyone comment on what daily radiation is like? I keep thinking nothing will be as miserable as chemo so I'm not too worried. I hope I'm not fooling myself!  It seems friends/family are of the mindset that since surgery and chemo are now behind me so life should be pretty much back to normal. I still have one more surgery, radiation and hormone therapy ahead of me.  This journey seems never ending!

carolinachick

Congrats Lhuntz!  That is a huge accomplishment!  Radiation is grueling because it's every day, but the actual treatment is very quick and I didn't have as much fatigue as I did during chemo.  Try to see if your rad will give you a prescription for Biafine cream - it was the best thing I found to keep my skin from blistering.

I'll be celebrating for you as well as myself tonight.  Today is my one year surgery date, and the date that DH and I count as my cancer-free anniversary...the day they took that nasty thing out of me!

elimar86861

Welcome lhuntzinger4131, and thanks for sharing your good news with us!  Lots of women in our group had chemo, and lots had radiation & hormonals in the various combinations.  Next up for you will be a radiation "simulation" and it might take something like an hour and a half average, where they figure out where to zap you, but after that visit the treatment appointments should be much shorter, like 15-20 minutes.  You'll probably receive 30-36 treatments (Tx) which is the standard.  Your rads area WILL get a "tan."  About 1/3 of women do have issues with the skinburning/blistering, and you will want to use mosturizers to try to avoid that.  The rads office usually has some samples or will recommend brands.  I, myself, used Fruit of the Earth 100% aloe (from Walmart) and I did not burn. 

Your family might need a reality check...no offense...but you've got a bit more to get through, so you will need some understanding family support.  Most women get tired out by rads after the first couple weeks, and having help around the house is a big plus.

Look in the forums for the rads groups too (listed by month of their treatments) and read what the "December" & "January" rads women just went through.  Look for the "February Rads" if you are starting yours next month.  It's good to compare notes in those threads as you go along.  Stop back with any questions.  Be sure to let us know how you are doing.  Good Luck.

p.s.  Happy Cancer-versary, carolinachick!!!  

Meece

lhuntzinger, congrats on your last Chemo!  Carolina is right, Biafine.  I only found out about it the last two weeks, when the cream they gave me didn't work.  I still have my tube, why I am keeping it, I have no idea.  My insurance didn't cover it, but I would have paid a lot for the relief it offered.

gillyone

As a redhead/freckled/fair skinned person who burns after just a couple of minutes in the sun I was very concerned about radiation. I was given Jason's natural aloe cream which I applied 2 - 3 times a day and later got a little tube of Aquafor for the little bit of skin that got really red. Otherwise it was not bad at all - just pink but no broken skin etc. I was so pleased. Going every day is a pain but if you have weathered chemo this will seem fine. Hope your skin holds up well.

ReginaR

Hello , I  fit right in this gruop I am 52, But a young 52 I had a 15 year old who is keeping me young & also aging me too-Ha

I am new ,just got digonised in Dec 2009. Had my Biospy Dec 16th & my 1st Lumpectomy Dec 28,2009.  all margins showed DCIS Grade 2 , had an Re-Excision lumpectomy Jan 8,2009 this time only one margin show but now a grade 3. So Now Iam schelude for my mastectomy Jan 29th yes tommorrow! Iam very scared! Any one have advice on recovery Etc. Please feel free to e-mail me. queenginar@aol.com

Thanks I hope all of you are doing great! Hope to keep in touch with my middle age friends!

Gina Robinsona

elimar86861

ReginaR, how unfortunate to meet you (since it's that stupid cancer that brings us together around these parts.)   My surgery was lumpectomy, so I cannot tell you what to expect.  Going to be thinking about you tomorrow.  We'll be waiting to hear from you again.

Please Sisters, get a PM or email sent to ReginaR today if you are a middie that had mastectomy.

Meece

Gina, welcome to our group.  I echo Elimar in stating that it is unfortunate to meet you under these circumstances.  I did not have a mx, so Icannot help you with any info, but I will doa call out to our sisters, as Elimar has just done...

Sisters, since ReginaR is new, she won't be able to post much today.  She will need those PMs to help express her questions, then we can post them, and their answers, here.

carolinachick

Regina - Thinking of you today as you undergo surgery again.  I had a lumpectomy, so can't help you with any advice, other than rest and take good care of yourself!  I also have a 15 year old and mine was a great help when I was undergoing treatment.  Let us know how you're doing as soon as you're able.

barbe1958

I'll just add that a mastectomy (without reconstruction) is not anywhere near as painful as you think it will be. There are no organs, bones or muscles involved. Good luck!

ReginaR

Thanks  to all of you! tommorrow is the big day!  I just hope I can sleep tonight!

Hugs to all of my new friends!

Gina R

Kleenex

Regina - I am SO sorry you are having to have a THIRD surgical procedure! Hopefully, you'll have completely clear margins after this one and can move on to the next phase of treatment. I'm in your world with the teenager keeping you young AND old. SO fun. Sometimes.

I finally got myself an H1N1 flu shot. I rarely get the regular flu shot because, frankly, I rarely get the flu. But this H1N1 thing sort of freaked me out, and I know it's likely some of my lung was zapped during radiation, and I'm not big on testing it out with a big respiratory thing that tends to turn into pneumonia. So I was at Walgreens, picking up a prescription for my daughter, and saw the sign saying that an injection-certified pharmacist was on duty. And I got the shot -

But EEEEEEEEEEK!!! I had him inject it into my LEFT arm, which was always my "go-to" arm because I'm right handed! And that's my SURGERY side! My SNB side! My "do not draw blood or take blood pressure readings any more side!!!!! I realized it as he was putting on the bandaid, and I've been freaking out below the surface ever since. Feel free to say something reassuring. If you know someone who did this (flu shot on SNB side) and her arm puffed up within three days into serious lymphedema do NOT share that with me.

sheila888

Kleenex...My own oncologist drew blood from the SNB Side because the other arm wasn't cooperating and nothing happened.

Sheila

faithandfifty

Regina. You can do this!!

I will be two weeks out -- from a bilateral -- tomorrow.

I am obviously just at the beginning of the "healing" process, but trust that all will be well.

There is a whole thread (under the "surgery") area for women having a mast/bilat in the month of Jan. I would suggest that if you can't sleep, you could read read thru the very specific situations of a couple dozen of us.

I think our 'experiences' will bring you much comfort.

(((((((((((((((((((((Regina))))))))))))))))))))))

NativeMainer

Kleenex--while it's not advisable to get a flu shot in the affected arm, it's unlikely a properly administered flu shot will introduce any bacteria into your tissue.  I've read that LE often follows an inflammatory reaction or an infection. Since you had an SNB and not (I'm asuming) axillary lymphnode removal, you are at much lower risk for LE in the arm (but at higher risk of truncal LE, in the breast and chest but not the arm).  I've forgotten and let blood pressures be taken on my affected arm a few times and I don't have LE in the arm, and I DO have truncal LE.  So I think you are safe. 

Regina--thinking of you today.  I think you'll find a mastectomy isn't that hard to deal with.  The drain is a PITA, but you won't have it all that long. I understand the nerves before surgery thing--I don't even try to sleep the ngiht before a procedure or test anymore.  If you can, good, if not, you're going to get a good nap anyway so don't worry about it!  

chrisct

While on the subject of SNB's - I wanted to mention something to think about in case you haven't already and it ends up affecting you.  While I was maxed out on my copays last year, I snuck a bunion surgery in before the year ended.  I developed the bunion when I was 18, but it really started bothering me 3 years ago.  I was concerned about using a crutch on my SNB side, but I was afraid to ask about alternatives for fear they wouldn't do the surgery.  I planned to just crawl around the house if I had to.  I used the crutch for a day and a half, but the next morning I woke up and my hand felt tight and was slightly swollen.  Panicked, I stopped using the crutch on that side immediately.  I could put partial weight on the operated foot, so was able to use just the one crutch on my good side.  I wish I had thought to try it from the start.  I think I am okay now, but my side hurt for a good month.  The swelling in my hand went down pretty quickly.  I couldn't tell if my arm was swollen at all, but I was afraid I had developed some minor trucal LE.  Onc suggested that maybe it was the muscles that were sore - but I don't think they would be sore for a month - I'm out of shape, but not THAT out of shape.  I'm sure I injured myself.  Plus I had just finished rads 3 1/2 weeks earlier.  Could I be more stupid?  I just wanted to mention it so no one else takes a chance like I did....

elimar86861

No one's posted yet today.  Things have been bothering me lately.  I had four different hospice workers come to my home this week (about my mom,) on three different days.  The first was an intake person who had on so much scent, which not only assaulted my senses but made me wonder how anyone reeking like that could even think of entering a person's home who had respiratory illness.  The second person was an R.N., who was very nice but managed to show up 15 min. early.  We were getting ready for the visit but my mom wasn't out of the bathroom yet.  I hadn't washed my faced or combed my hair either.  That was not really a big deal or anything.  The third person was a counselor who "just stopped by to introduce himself" a few  hours after the R.N. had gone.  Well, my mom's napping, so he's not gonna meet her.  I was having some "me time" not having to do with disease, terminal illness or dying, but here's a guy stopping by to put it in my face again.  His story was that he was in the area 'cause his sister lived nearby.  I liked how he thought of his own convenience, yet thought nothing of the convenience for the hospice patient or her family.  Would it have been so hard for the guy to get on his cell phone to ask if he could swing by for a brief visit?  Where's the professionalism?  WTF are these people thinking!  The final person was a social worker who, thankfully, came and went without incident.

I'm just sharing, just reporting, as I sometimes do.  This hospice service has boastful claims of excellence right in their brochures.  I knew I would dwell on it if I did not call them to mention the less than excellent introduction I had gotten this week.  So, it has already been "handled" and time to move on to a less emotionally gruelling weekend.  I hope.

Kleenex

Elimar - Maybe they were filming for Candid Camera... I'm glad you called and "handled" it, and also happy for you that this week is over. You would think that these were people that would "get it."  Hopefully the counselor got the message and will now call before coming by... May you have a peaceful weekend, free of helpful hospice personnel and full of helpful teenage sons...

chrisct - I can totally get your "efficiency" in maximizing the deductible - what a pain. Literally. Different muscles are used with crutches than those you use for everyday living, plus they can put pressure on weird areas. Even my highly energetic and fit then-10-year-old had issues when she'd broken her leg and needed to use crutches. The way you're supposed to use them is NOT what you'd intuitively come up with. Glad things have normalized!

For those of you following along at home, it appears that so far, there is no damage what is now my "decor" arm (charge with displaying my watch and wedding rings ONLY), following my idiotic slip-up in having a flu shot given in that arm. Although it's definitely going to seem puffy tomorrow, but that's just because I went into autofeed mode and snarfed down a basket of chips with the yummy salsa at the Mexican restaurant near our neighborhood. Lucky I'm AWARE of that, otherwise I'd be convinced tomorrow that the puffy fingers had more ominous implications.

Meece

I am sorry the day was a bit stressful, Elimar.  I am made from the same mold.  I like to let people know when they haven't been professional.  It makes me feel better than stewing on it.

I had a little issue with "professionals" myself.  Yesterday I got home and there was a message on my machine from my Onc's office.  "Jeff" said that the tests the doctor had ordered had been approved by insurance and it was now my job to call radiology and set them up.  Well, due to surgery in November, I postponed scheduling a test, and insurance cancelled the approval on it.  So I wasn't going to let this happen this time.  I jumped right on it and this morningI called.  I waited nearly 10 min. on hold and finally a nice woman answered and said the schedulers were all busy, so she'd have on e call me back.  I gave all my info and hung up.  A half hour later I received a call and the woman, not so pleasant as the first, said that only one test had been approved and I need to call back when my Onc's office tells me the second one was approved.  I don't want to drive 150 miles for one test, if I can get them both done on the same day.  I know this is minor compared to what you are going through, Elimar, truly I do.  But, I am going to be playing this ring around the rosy game for weeks.  I was hoping I could get my appt soon because I wanted to get in to see my PS.  I had surgery Nov 19th, and I stilll have three "Disolvable" stitches that won't disappear.  They are embedded in my skin, but stick out just enough to stick me like a needle when I am not wearing a bra.  Now I have to wait to get this taken care of as well.  Waaaaaaaaaaaaa.