MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

elimar86861

LC-Barb,  What a testament to your patience and stamina!  Congrats!  Personally, I think you deserved some kind of ceremony yourself.  If I had to home school, I'd be balder than chemo bald from tearing my hair out.  Also, I don't have the math gene. 

candie1971

Well, I am 59..does that mean I will be booted out at 60...lol.

Hi Marlegal, nice to see you here

This week on May 26th will be my 6 year cancerversary!!! woo hoo!

Reese, where is dragon boating in Nj as I am from NJ.

beachbum, my harid started filling in about a month after. And it came in curly but changed after about a year to straighter hair with nicer body than I had before. My hair is more manageable now and I like it so much better.

elimar and prayvr...congrats on your boys graduating!

Dianrose and Jeannie57, I did CMF. 12 treatments over 6 months. I did the Mand F by IV and the C by mouth..9 pills a day. I did not need a port. Itwas not a picnic but doable!! There is a very good thread.....CMF...go there, lots of nice girls doing that regimen and it helps alot. 

Nice to meet you all!

Candie

elimar86861

Welcome, candie1971!  I'll say CONGRATS! now on reaching your 6 Year Cancerversary!  Don't look back and keep on goin'.

reesie, I don't even know what dragon boating is????

Dianarose

My vistit with my MO was ok with some stuff, but... He still tried to convince me to to AC/T instead of the CMF. I said I had done my homework and the long term survival was only 1-2 % difference and that AC causes a lot of heart damage and Leukemia from what I read. He told me that the studies done here showed that AC has about a 5-7 % risk for Fatal heart damage. He went on to say that he has only lost 2 women to fatal heart problems from AC and 1 to Leukemia. First of all the word Only really didn't set well with me. The facility is very small and I live in a small town. So to lose 3 women from chemo is a high percent. He said they don't really know if it was from the AC or the Herceptin. He also said that studies have shown a lot of success for triple negative women with CMF but not too many are jumping on it because no one holds the pattern because it is over 20 yrs old. Dam, are we just money makers. I asked him something and I don't even remember what it was, but his response was, that's why I make the big bucks. He told me that the AC/T would cut my recurrance rate by 50% and that CMF would cut it by 20%. I have done so much research and the numbers from studies are different than what he was telling me. My BS went over my path reports with a fine tooth comb along with the oncotype testing and said that my cancer was not very aggressive and had been there a long time. That is why my recurrance score was an 8. The reasoning for chemo is to get anymets that might have traveled and didn't show up. I get more useful information from her than anyone else I see. Anyhow, my six month journey of chemo starts 5/30 and I am looking forward to get it done.

LovesChristmas-Barb

Thank you everybody! I loved the homeschooling lifestyle...most days! I did teach elementary school before my kids were born so I had some experience which helped me have the confidence to know I could do it.

justmejanis

Eli I am really sorry it has taken so long to get back on the neck issue.  I did have an IV put in, but found out that was just a precaution.  They did not use it.  I was not put under any anesthesia.  They did come in prior to the procedure and gave me Xanax that dissolves under the tongue.  The doctor, a female I really liked, came in and described the prpcedure.  She said they would use a very small gauge needle.  One to numb the skin and then they would use a numbing medication to go into the joint itself.  They wheeled me to the room, I laid on my stomach with my face down in a hole.  The first shot stung just a bit, not bad.  She had to put several injections in the joint.  They used x-ray for guidance.  Those tiny shots hurt pretty bad, the Xanax was no help at all in calming me!  She kept apologizing for the pain, but she said the joint was very badly damaged and that made it worse.  I don't know how many injections she did, four or five I would guess.  She told me I would know right away if they worked.  She said when I got back to my cubicle she would come and see if I had any relief.  She did come, and told me to turn my head right and left, up and down.  I noticed no difference.  I was so upset, but she said she would give it a couple more minutes and come back and check again.  There was really no difference when she came back.  I wanted so badly for that to be the suurce so they could perform the ablation there.  No such luck.  She was very nice and explained to me that this was just the first of many diagnostic tests they can try.  She said I might need a complete cervical block, but that would be up to my doctor.  My neck has been miserable since.

The funny thing is that you are told to take it easy just that same day.  Driving home I told my DH that the Xanax had no effect on me and that I was miserable during the procedure.  We got home about 1:00 and I laid down on the couch because my neck was so sore.  I woke up at almost 8:00 that evening.  Too funny!

Congratulations to everyone enjoying graduations this busy time of year.  It is such a fun and exciting time.  Kudos to all you special moms out there!

I am so far behind, so can just wish better health for all going through procedures......better outcomes to all.  Also, welcome to all the newbies.  You came to the right place for sure!

Jeannie57

Dianarose, so you stuck to your guns with CMF? I start on Friday and I'm still not sure I'm doing the right thing by getting chemo. The low Oncotype has really confused things for me, but since the cancer in my nodes was big, that put me over the edge, I guess. I'm also feeling uneasy about putting off Tamoxifen for a year from diagnosis, since that's supposed to be the most important thing. And it doesn't help when people say, " Wow, you're going to feel lousy for a long time!" But we'll show them, won't we?

Momine

Jeannie, I can't believe people say stupid stuff like that. Yes, chemo is not fun and there will definitely be days when you feel like &*%$, but although I don't believe that a good attitude can save you from cancer, a good attitude can definitely help you get through the treatment for cancer.

I had 4 rounds before surgery, and all through that I took my dogs for a long walk in the park every morning, early (to avoid the sun, it was summer and I live in Greece). That way I always had a calm and pleasant start to my day. After the surgery (when I had more chemo) it was trickier because I couldn't walk them for a while, but I found other ways to get in some exercise, get out a bit and generally enjoy myself. Among other things we took a long weekend in Paris, which was fun.

My diagnosis was almost a year ago, and I am 5 months past chemo, 3 months past rads and 2 months past the hysterectomy. I have some SEs from the femara, but nothing unbearable so far. I still get a bit more tired than usual if I do a lot, but other than that, I really feel fine for the most part and in some ways better than before my dx. 

elimar86861

janis, I am truly sorry that did not work for your neck.  My neck feels like the tendons are cranked a little tighter each day, on one side; and I have the beginnings of nerves being pinched.  Have put off the doctor because I know that they will "try stuff" and it may not even work (like your case, and mine from the past) and that will bum me out even more.  I keep trying to let my body self-heal, but then I tackle hedge trimming and it's a set back.  If you have the kind of pain that is not helped at all by NSAIDs, gels, cremes, hotpacks, coldpacks, etc.; I hate to say it but hydrocodone (Vicodin) will give you temporary relief.  People get addicted to it because it works!  People don't get addicted to it because who needs to be constipated on a daily basis?  (I kept waiting for an episode of House, M.D., where House would complain that he couldn't take a dump because of all his Vicodin.  Never happened in that imaginary world.)   Anyway, I only mention it if you need some relief from bad daily pain.  If you find something that helps, or get another treatment that has good effect, please let me know.  I kind of want to give acupuncture a try.

So glad we have support here for the sisters just starting chemo.  It's one thing when a doctor tells you can get thru' it, and an other thing to hear from some sister-women who have gone thru' it, and give you the good, bad, and ugly true stories of what it is like.  When you realize so many have been thru' it, it does give you some confidence that you will be o.k.  That's how I felt with radiation, anyway.

I notice several more Cancerversaries coming up on the days I will be away, so CONGRATS to all reaching a new milestone, be it cancer-free, or hanging in there waiting for a cure.  We are still here, living, loving and learning, and it's so much better than the other scenario, so celebrate it.

reesie

Candie - I believe there are teams further up but I paddle with the Philadelphia Flying Phoenix (on the Schuykill) since I'm just over the bridge. They have a BC team - Against the Wind that I'm a part of. There is a Festival at Mercer lake (Paddle for Pink) on June 3 - I'm not paddling because I'm not quite ready yet but plan to be there to cheer on my team.



E - think canoeing but facing the direction you're paddling instead of backwards

marlegal

Dianarose, I'm not saying your doctor was right or wrong, but keep in mind that he may well have access to research and articles that we don't. If you really don't trust him, I'd encourage you strongly to find a doctor you DO trust. I really think that's crucial to successful treatment too. I thought the best thing I could do for myself was (1) find a medical team I was comfortable with, and then (2) let them make the decisions after discussing with me, so I could (3) concentrate all my energy on mentally being ready to fight. As I said before, I wouldn't want to have to go down that road again, but I never had any regrets about any of my or my doctor's decisions because I felt they were made by professionals who were up-to-date on my type of cancer and all the available treatments. I hope you get that peace too.

Homeschool? I'm with the mom who said she had her hands full helping with homework! Major congrats to you and I agree that you deserve a celebration. If your kids are too young to plan one, I hope someone else does

Eli, have the bestest vacation ever!!!

Jeannie57

Thanks, Momine! It is so encouraging to hear that you feel well now. I have been trying to exercise throughout. I, too, have a dog and enjoy taking him for walks. I live in the Pacific Northwest of USA so it has to be in between raindrops. He's a little white dog who gets filthy in the rain. I also have an elliptical machine I use but as of now, without the arm motions. I am looking forward to progressing in physical therapy to being able to use my arms more w/o lymphedema problems.



All the support on bco is so great. My husband is very loving and helpful but he really doesn't have a clue, not his fault.

Meece

Elimar, did you see the episode where the drugs had House unable to "pee"? So I guess that was their answer to the SEs of Vicodin.  What did you think about the final episode?

Thank you for this thread, you're a great hostess!

elimar86861

Missed that particular episode, Meece, but there's always reruns in syndication.  I did watch the series finale this past Mon., and did expect to see the (now common) device of old cast members popping up as visions and flashbacks.   The "I went out the back door" explanation was the lamest ever, but it was a good conclusion.  I liked how Chase ended up (even tho' he did murder that dictator a few seasons back.)  What did you think? 

Entertaining as a show, but who would ever really want to have him as a doc?  All that guessing and trying of (3-5) invasive procedures, it was really like a malpractice lawsuit in every episode.  My husband did go to a Halloween party last year dressed as House.  He kept popping his prescription Smarties all night long and diagnosing people with weird ailments.  Heehee.

Momine,  I liked what you wrote about good attitude.  I also don't think being positive ultimately makes a difference in whether the treatments are effective or not, or even whether our own bodies are able to deal with the cancer cells better.  However, when you look at the length of cancer treatment, which can be six mos. or much longer, it is just NOT FUN to be mopey the entire time.  It is hard to go through it all, but if you try not to let B/C overshadow the good and funny things that happen in your life during that treatment interval, you don't feel as "robbed" of that period of your life.

p.s.  I never forget that there are Stage IV's out there, but the ones who seem to be getting the most out of their lives are the ones that focus on other non-B/C things for the most part (Dragon Boats!!!) and don't give B/C the entire run of their lives.  It's not always a mental decision or choice, but when it is, then having that "I'm not going to let B/C stop me from ... (insert something you love here)" attitude goes a long way.

cmbear

No wonder House was grumpy all the time--all that pain and constipation too!!!! Meece, I liked the finale, especially Wilson at the funeral. And then When Foreman found House's ID badge under the table. . .

Momine

Elimar, we agree completely. The way I see it, I can either focus on all the things I can't do because of cancer or its treatment, OR I can focus on all the stuff I CAN do even with the cancer/cancer treatment. It may not make any difference to my long term survival, but it does make a huge difference in my QOL in the meanwhile, however long or short that turns out to be.

When I felt sorry for myself I would think of people who have lost arms and legs and go on to run marathons or whatever. I figured that if they could do that, I could push through 6 months of chemo. 

candie1971

while I was doing chemo, I focused on this beast not getting the best of me. I got myself up everyday and to work. I was so very fortunate to have bosses and a work place that allowed me to plug thru the day as best I can. Somedays I typed with my head on my desk.  I had my infusion on Wednesday so I felt like hell on the weekend. I dragged myself out of the house to walk around my neighborhood on the weekend, as it seemed if I walked like that I would feel better. On the weekend I didnt receive the treatment I would go down the shore on Sundays, swim and lay in the sun and read my fav book.

so, you see, this is all doable. and the good support from the gals on this website kept me plugging through also.

3 more days...May 26...my 6th year cancerversary. I feel mushy this week and ever so grateful for bco.

madpeacock

I remember when my father was terminally ill with melanoma. He was 49 and basically gave up. He would not let any friends come see him as he looked very sick and he was just a "touch" vain, but would talk to them on the phone and act like nothing was wrong, so nobody really realized how sick he was. He had never worn glasses up to then but needed to get reading glasses and wouldn't do it because he thought it was "pointless". So, he couldn't do a lot of things that might have been entertaining and/or relaxing because he couldn't see! I was 25 when he passed, two days after Christmas. 

I loved him, but he was a stubborn, vain, demanding man.  Now I'm 49 and have breast cancer, but I do not let it become my life. 

Meece

Eli~Other than the back door thing, I think they covered the bases well.  I mean how narrow would that building have to have been for a crippled man to run from the front window to the back door through the flames before the explosion?

Candie, I dealt with my BC in much the same way.  I missed only one day for nausea, and two for my surgery.  I also had my chemo in Wednesday afternoons so did miss 1/2 days.  I had my Nuelasta on Friday am so by the Afternoon and through the weekends I was in a lot of pain, but I still did what I could during the weekend including playing tennis, going for walks, and dating.

It is doable, and congrats on your cancerversary, Candie!

Jeannie57

These posts are just what I need to hear as I start CMF tomorrow. Candie, happy cancerversary! 👍

candie1971

Jeannie we will be with you tomorrow holding your hand!! always remember that.

hugs

cmbear

Jeannie, Will be in your pocket tomorrow rocking out your first TX. We will try to be quiet if you fall asleep from those goofy drugs. Ok maybe not. Sometimes the conga lines get out of control. I'm headed to Daytona tomorrow for the weekend so count me in for the margaritas! And have to bring our old bud the cabana boy. . . .

 

BTW see me in the rocking bod on the right?? I mean far right, with the purple bathing suit? Wait, what do you mean they cropped me out!!  

Dianarose

Jeannie- I have been thinking about you all day. I will be in your pocket with ice chips and water.

My daughter called from NC and thought her water had broke in the night while she was sleeping. She went to the doctors and got checked. Poor thing, she was so exhausted from working 12 hour shifts ( She is and emergency room RN) that she slept through the nightly pee call and it was not her water after all. She has nine weeks to go. This will be my 5th granddaughter Lydia Grace.

Sherryc

Jeanie will be in your pocket tomorrow. 

We are heading to DS this weekend so won't be on much if at all

candie1971

Diana...how wonderful, your 5th granddaughter!! I think grandkids are best of life!

Jeanie, one thing I forgot to mention. Make sure you eat an icepop (that's what they gave us at my cancer center) or ice chips when they give you the infusion.....it helps eliminate mouth sores..I didn't get any!

Dianarose

Candie1971- are there foods Jeannie and I need to avoid? I read that eating Salmon and the dark meat of turkey helps build up your white blood count.

I am so hoping I keep my hair. Does CMF give you skin discoloration or nail problems. I have read on other chemo posts that woman were icing there fingers during chemo.

My daughter has been getting mammograms since her mid 20's and she had the doctors in NC get all her reports. The last one said her breast tissue had become so dense it would be hard to spot anything. I am so glad she is going ahead with the BMX after she has the baby.

candie1971

Hi Diana, I did not avoid any foods. I ate what I wanted when I wanted. I did not lose all my hair. I would say only about 50-60 percent. It got very thin but it covered my scalp. My hair came in a little different than it had been. I actually like it better now, so that is a good thing. It was poker straight before ,now it has nice body to it.I had a small discoloration on my belly only and I did get black lines and spots in my nails but I always wear nail polish so you couldnt see it. All went away after I stopped the chemo. I didn't have to shave under my arms during chemo but I did continue with the leg shaving. I was kind of hoping that would stop for a bit...lol. All returned to normal after I stopped the chemo. I did not have any problems with my blood counts.

Everything returns to normal.

Oh..I had this small mole on my face by my eye. It feel off during chemo and I was so excited. The craziest thing..it grew back after the chemo was over...lol.

Now, Diana, is this your 2nd time with breast cancer? Your stats seem to indicate that. So sorry that your daughter has to do the BMX but I can understand why.

hugs

Jeannie57

My pockets will be full tomorrow--thanks! Glad you're going with me. I'm hoping for the best.

Momine

CMBear, now why didn't my chemo nurse look like that??? It would have made it such a different experience, lol.

Jeannie, hope everything went OK. 

elimar86861

CMF?  Coffee Mocha Frappe?  Doesn't sound too bad, especially delivered by cmb's wait staff.  Good Luck today, Jeannie57.