MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

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  • NativeMainer
    NativeMainer Member Posts: 10,462
    edited February 2011

    WARNING:  Rant and Whine Alert-------This is a whiny rant, feel free to skip over it------------------

    I am SO UPSET.  I had serious problems with rad and the rad onc, and have been trying to get answers to some questions for almost 3 years.  Ive complained to the hospital, to the Joint Commssion, even to the state Medical Board.  Last June I get a letter from the Medical Board, there's going to be a hearing, I will get a notice when it's scheduled and am invited to attend.  Months go by.  I'm thinking about writing to the Medical Board to find out what's going on.  Today I get home from work at around 4 pm and there's a message on my machine from the Board rep asking me if I'm planning to attend the hearing tomorrow.  TOMORROW.   The hearing is F'in TOMORROW morning.  I called the rep back, left a message that I don't know anything about a hearing tomorrow and can't take time off work with so little notice.  He calls me back, very apologetic, says a letter was sent out January 12th. I never got it.  So now the hearing goes on anyway, since it's been scheduled for a month, and the idiot RadOnc gets to speak for himself and I get no say.  

    IT'S EFFIN NOT FAIR!  ALL I WANT IS SOME QUESTIONS ANSWERED WITHOUT HALF THE HOSPTIAL GANGING UP ON ME.  The stupid Rad Onc will only talk to me at the hospital with the hospital lawyer, the department head, the oncology department head, and half a dozen other people present. Oh, I can bring 1 (ONE) support person.  Yeah, right, like I'm stupid enough to go along with that.  There is NO REASON he can't answer my questions in a letter.  Either he knows how much radiation I got or he doesn't.  Either he knows why I got radiation from 3 directions some days and 2 on others or he doesn't.  Either he can tell me what part of me got radiated that shouldnt have when the "field was out of alignment" or he can't.  Either he can tell me why I was called by someone else's name half the time or he can't.  

    He managed to block my getting my records for 2 years, so the statute of limitations has run out on filing a malpractice suit.  I can't use anything he tells me against him.  So WHY THE F#<& won't he just answer my questions?  

    This was my last chance to get answers out of him.  Now, because a letter got lost, I'm $h!# out of luck.   He destroys 3 years of my life, and I get nothing, not even answers to my questions.  

    Can anyone hear me screaming?

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  • carol6026
    carol6026 Member Posts: 45
    edited February 2011

    My nephew works for a hospital, in the surgery unit, and just so happens he worked saturday with a breast sugeon. He told him everything that is going on with my doctor now. He told me to call his office for a second opinion and they will see me on wednesday. So I am feeling a little better knowing that I will be gettinga second opinion. I also talked with my obgyn today and she was wanting to know how I was doing. I told her still waiting on a surgery date and she could not believe it, she thought I had it taken care of. My obgyn said there has been significant changes since the biopsy, so what are they waiting for, I don't know. Hopefully I will have some kind of answers on wednesday, with the new doc.

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  • Sherryc
    Sherryc Member Posts: 5,938
    edited February 2011

    nativemainer-I hear you and you have every right to scream.  I would be doing the same thing. So sorry you can't just call in sick or something and go anyway. I hate when I feel so out of control on things. You just let it out cause we are all here for you.

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  • jo1955
    jo1955 Member Posts: 8,543
    edited February 2011

    NativeMainer -  Go ahead rant and whine.  You have every right to.  Think this was all planned so you would not be there?  My RO sounds like yours.  Wouldn't answer any of my questions and now I have lung damage.  Think a law suit is in order?  If I had known BEFORE starting rads, I may have not done them.

    Do you have a lawyer that could get answers for you?  You certainly deserve it even after all this time.  Hate that doctors can do this to us and get away with it.

    (((HUGS))) 

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  • Eph3_12
    Eph3_12 Member Posts: 4,781
    edited February 2011

    NativeMainer-aren't you feeling under the weather, like a major migraine is coming on and you need to call in sick tomorrow!  Projectile vomiting is happening as well as uncertainty re: your ability to make it into the john due to your acute case of food poisoning! Come on girl-Go to the hearing! 

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  • Sherryc
    Sherryc Member Posts: 5,938
    edited February 2011

    I agree call in sick and go to the hearing.

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  • NativeMainer
    NativeMainer Member Posts: 10,462
    edited February 2011

    If I knew what time and where the meeting was, I would be very, very tempted to call in sick.  But, I don't have anyone who can get time off work on such short notice, and I won't go into something like this alone when there are already going to be several support people (including the hospital lawyer) with the doc.

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  • zogo
    zogo Member Posts: 20,329
    edited February 2011

    NativeMainer, I agree with the diagnosis.  You have severe symptoms tomorrow....(the last minute meeting is a major headache and the R.O. is a pain in the a$$)!  

    I have always said that sick days for mental health can be just as important as those for physical.  You will feel much better if you can at least get some questions answered. 

    Hugs 

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  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited February 2011

    NMainer, we can help you only by listening to your rant.  Yes, they are screwing you over.   But now you need to "phone a friend," someone who is willing to give you some back up and GO THERE TOMORROW.  Be sure to call that one friend with a demeanor like a pit bull or a lawyer.  (Doesn't everyone have at least one friend like that?  They should!!)  

    Anyone would dread this confrontation, knowing that they will be outnumbered; but it has festered for three year already.  It's time to lance the boil, so to speak.  Please try to attend, if only that you will be able to speak your piece, vent your outrage there where it belongs, and maybe even get some answers.   Maybe it will be a small victory that it will be on record that your doc had to go before the Med. Board.

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  • Eph3_12
    Eph3_12 Member Posts: 4,781
    edited February 2011

    what about Lasagna Man?

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  • Maureen813
    Maureen813 Member Posts: 2,893
    edited February 2011

    Native Mainer, So sorry for going through this.  That RO should have the ability to open your chart and answer these questions.  All that information should be documented in your chart? Leads one to believe something is amiss. Perhaps he's been reported before, which should really make you angry.  This guy sounds "different" If that letter was so important, why wasn't it sent registered or certified mail?  Just as you can't prove you received, how can they prove they sent the letter? Too many questions and insufficient answers.
    Any lawyer you know that can go tomorrow (or legal aide in your area), explain the situation and attempt to delay the hearing? They should have some type of patient advocate that should be representing you as well, was anyone assigned?

    PS.  That migrane sounds like a doosy and justified sick dayWink

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  • Eph3_12
    Eph3_12 Member Posts: 4,781
    edited February 2011

    I just realized that it is now 6:15 your time, NM, which means the dude who left the message is gone.  Can you call @ 8AM & find out the answers & just show up?  And I totally understand your reluctance to face it alone, but righteous indignation from a woman scorned should be able to carry you through.  I will be in your pocket!   

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  • TMarina
    TMarina Member Posts: 692
    edited February 2011

    Carol--glad you are getting in for a 2nd opinion!

    Native--not much to add, the wonderful ladies here said it all, but just wanted to let you know I'm pulling for you too!

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  • BarbaraA
    BarbaraA Member Posts: 7,378
    edited February 2011

    {{{NM}}} Go! KIck his effing a$$!

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  • annettek
    annettek Member Posts: 1,640
    edited February 2011

    Go for it NativeMaine- give em hell...there is no wrath like a woman radiated!

    And please don't anyone worry about me driving with my eyes closed, I only do it if I have broke a traffic law and see a cop":)

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  • JeanH
    JeanH Member Posts: 281
    edited February 2011

    NM,

    Try and get to that hearing you'll regret it later, drag someone with you. You have all of us with you is spirit. You need to have your say and younhave a right to scream.



    Elimar, love the new quilting pic.



    My pic says life is like photography you develop from the negatives....trying to keep that in mind as I am going through through this. That and laughter, good friends, and a place to scream should all be part of the package.



    Jean

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  • annettek
    annettek Member Posts: 1,640
    edited February 2011

    good stuff Jean:)

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  • Sandeeonherown
    Sandeeonherown Member Posts: 1,946
    edited February 2011

    Jo. good she asked for the scan so she can tell him...imagine how awful it must be o be a woman and know that the person you work with is an asE%$%^!! poor woman..good you called her. Can't wait to hear the results!

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  • Sandeeonherown
    Sandeeonherown Member Posts: 1,946
    edited February 2011

    nativemainer....go for it..take a day, call your boss at hoe and explain the situation...call a friend and you know what....she or he will go with you and be with you. You do not need to take care of anyone else excet you tomorrow. You deserve to be there my dear...you do! wish one of us was in your town to accompany you but just know that we are there in spirit. go for it!

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  • phew
    phew Member Posts: 225
    edited February 2011

    nativem:  maybe this wont reach you fter the fact              clearly we all can only give you written spiritual support.        1) absolutely have a migraind and accomanying nausea tomorrow!!!   2)  local legal aide, local socail worker from behavior health (or whaever they call it in your state)  usually have an advocate available to medically assist the community          AND   3) they cannot go on without you---firstly this is about you, so if you are not there, then it is not about you! and since it is, why the confusion, we ought to ask     ...   secondly,  anything anything anything can be changerd.        takes balls to force the truth, but even an act of comgress can be altered oar adjusted.              wondering,  if you said he sealed your records for 2 years, looking at your profile, that has elapsed.          AND i think this is a national thing, The Patient's Bill of Rights prohibits a person not having access to their files and to be represented at a hearing about they have agreed tothat is not legal at all no way no how.      if it were me i, or a pit bull, would call and firmly and nonegotiable say this is not acceptable and not appropriate and not gonna happen just cuz the wanna play by their own rules.  you have rules, and rights, as well

    tada!  end of preach

    if this gets to you after the fact, hope things went as well as you do!

    ~ ~ NancyCarol 

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  • heartnsoul76
    heartnsoul76 Member Posts: 1,648
    edited February 2011

    NM - you have been wrongly treated and you NEED to get on record tomorrow. Don't let them silence your voice by making it as inconvenient as possible for you - that's part of their game. Your voice needs to be heard and recorded. That doctor needs some consequences for his actions. I hope you have someone to take with you - like Elimar said, preferably someone who won't be shut up. But you can do it alone, too. You deserve answers and I'm afraid if you miss this, you will just get a "Case Closed" if you try to bring it up later.

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  • Sandeeonherown
    Sandeeonherown Member Posts: 1,946
    edited February 2011

    Nativemainer....they also need to hear your voice. the powers that be do not want you to be heard....yell louder!

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  • Sandeeonherown
    Sandeeonherown Member Posts: 1,946
    edited February 2011

    oh..and by yell louder I mean that in a good way...you have been yelling and making them listen to you for over two years..it is almost over....keep on yelling...you deserve to be heard. You really do.

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  • phew
    phew Member Posts: 225
    edited February 2011

    another thought, nativem, even tho you are getting lots support from this community, i have seen that lotsa luv can also feel like lotsa respobsibility.  you surely dont owe anyone here anything but success.  no rules- or -should- would- could- if only- so-  therfore

    hopefully this is a needless note

    ~~nc 

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  • dawney
    dawney Member Posts: 211
    edited February 2011

    I found a lump in my non cancer breast that feels different than before.  I had a breast reduction  years ago and my right breast has a lot of fat necrosis.  Anyway, I saw my surgeon today and he wants to biopsy two spots before I have recon surgery.  He doesn't think it's anything but wants to be sure.  Biopsy is scheduled for Monday!

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  • Sandeeonherown
    Sandeeonherown Member Posts: 1,946
    edited February 2011

    phew...good point...in being supportive, I may have trod on toes there ...fine line.

    Nativemainer - do what feels right I guess is the message here.

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  • annettek
    annettek Member Posts: 1,640
    edited February 2011

    good luck dawney...rooting for you

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  • dawney
    dawney Member Posts: 211
    edited February 2011

    Thanks annette, I am trying to not worry about it.  We have a cruise scheduled for next Thursday.  I think I am not going to get the results until I get back, that way I can enjoy the cruise.

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  • jo1955
    jo1955 Member Posts: 8,543
    edited February 2011

    Dawney - Good luck and enjoy your cruise.

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  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited February 2011
    dawney, biopsies are nerve wracking.  Hopefully those two spots are B9, and then full speed ahead with your recon.  Relax this weekend as much as possible, and Bon Voyage next week!
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