MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

jo1955

elimar - What happened to the picture at the top?  I can't see it.

Must have been a glitch in my computer - I see it now. 

NativeMainer

I like the snowman!

karen1956

Love the snowman...

El...congrats on the clean bone scan

Who was it who asked about empty nest?  I too am 54 and have 3 kids....oldest is married and lives in Toronto....middle is leaving for U of Hawaii in 13 days....and luckily I still have my 12 year old at home for 5 1/2 years......she was just commenting the other day about her brother leaving...I know she will miss as will I and his dad....I'm not ready to be empty nest!!!!

susantm

We were empty nesters--both boys graduated college and found work far from home--one in Japan, the other Pittsburgh. (We are in Oregon.) We had finally adjusted well to the empty nest and were starting to really enjoy it when out-of-work sister-in-law moved in last March. Now we miss our empty nest! At least our boys--and new daughter-in-law--will be in town for Christmas, just not staying at our house, sadly. No room at the inn... (Sister-in-law is applying for lowcost housing, so we are hopeful that she will be out before next Christmas, at least.)

BarbaraA

Bless you for your charity Susan. Hugs for you!

jo1955

Hello Ladies - You know, I just can't figure out what is wrong with me today.  I have finished rads, had to stop taking Femara yesterday, couldn't deal with the nausea and dizzyness.  Slept pretty good last night.  Today I find myself in an absolute funk.  No ambition, don't want to do anything.  Had to force myself to get through work today and still have presents to wrap that I really don't care about. 

I have been trying to keep a positive attitude about this BC thing.  Have gotten lots and lots of support  from this thread and others. Have tried to help others through their journey with this beast.  Just can't figure it out.,  Don't know what it happening.  Never felt like this before.

Sorry to bring everyone down this close to Christmas. 

phew

BarbaraA

{{{JO}}} big hugs for you. Night night gals, have to go earler and earlier it seems but whatever.

elimar86861

jo1955, Sounds like you have a rads "hangover."  I'm kidding, but only kind of.  We know you are thrilled to be DONE with rads, but it has been your routine and main fight against B/C for the past 6 and 1/2 weeks, so sometimes when they end you are left with NOW WHAT?  And you feel like you should be DOING something.  Plus, you still have the lingering fatigue. 

Just try to chill thru' the holidays.  Do minimal wrapping...throw some of it into gift bags and don't worry.  Your family already has a huge gift this year...YOU getting stronger and healthier each day, and surviving the attack of The Beast.

jo1955

elimar - Thanks so much for the pep talk.  I don't have treatments of any kind for at least the next 3 weeks.  Guess Tamox is my next challenge.  You are right, I do have the rads fatigue still and still need to deal some more with the emotions.  Haven't done enough of that in the past 4 months.  

But I am going to do my best to chill over the holidays and wait to see what my onc says when I see him next year - that sounds kinds weird. 

BarbaraA

{{{HUGS}}} Jo, just take deep breaths. We are here for you 24/7.

chrissyb

Hi all and welcome to the new gals joining us!  Great news on your scans Eli, doing the happy dance for you!  Am getting further and further behind with the prep for Christmas and only a couple of days to go, so I'm gonna hafta go mia so I can get things done...lol.  It's just that I enjoy the company I find here it's hard not to spend a lot of time on the pooter......hmph!

To each and every one of you ladies, have a Joyous Christmas and a Happy, Safe and Healthy New Year.  2011 will be a better year for all of us.

Peace, strength, love n hugs to all.   Chrissy

phew

methinks i am oin a cant say large minorty...oxymoron....i do not want reconstruction

but i do have tingle and pullings  the sensation a my breast bouncing up and down....anyone else.  thinking phantom sensations

watchin chrismas carol with um    patrick stewart in the mean time lol  yes watching, mean time...yeah until when? 

sheila888

elimar...congratulations and happy Dance for the bones.

jo...What you are experiencing its very normal. I was holding up okay until radiation was finished then I fell apart. Because until then there was no time to think about anything but treatment.

Give yourself some time.

Karen...My daughter moved to Hawaii (Honolulu) 2 years ago.

i really don't mind the empty nest. What I don't like is she is 11 hours away.

My other daughter lives only 10 minutes walking distance from me.

If you need to talk about Hawaii you can always PM me.

(((Hugs To All My Sisters)))

jo1955

Sheila -  You hit the nail right on the head.  Plus, I don't feel like I can keep up with everything that is happening over the holidays plus my job is super busy and will be for the next couple of months.  The busy in some ways is good - it distracts me from the BC but I do know I still have to face the reality of it.

Thank you so much for being there for me.

Off to bed - really tired.  Have the day off tomorrow and gonna go do some fabric shopping.  Want to start a new quilt. 

phew

phew

hmmmmm i tried to post a picture.....and yes my puter is plugged in and turned on...... did either of these go thru?   its all about me, huh?

phew

I GIVE !

heartnsoul76

Just reading this thread and saw a bunch of familiar faces!

I have just finished rads today, and now the big T pill is looming in my not-so-distant future.

But jo, I read what you wrote about nausea and today, for about the first time since chemo, I have been very nauseous. I almost took one of my nausea pills leftover from chemo, but figured I would just go to bed and see if I wake up feeling better. I wonder if it's possible it could be from the radiation? haha - I almost wrote, "I wonder if it's possible it could be from the nausea?"

I'm supposed to start tamoxifen on Jan. 1st, so I intend to enjoy my holidays, but oh boy, I hope I'm not nauseous the whole time. I think I would rather have anything but nausea! My brother and I debated that once - he actually thinks a sore throat is worse than nausea - sheesh! 

3jaysmom

glad to see you ladies.. its 3 am now, so you all know how well i sleep. gonna ck out the drug barbe was talking about.. i know i would do so much better if i got some real sleep once in awhile.. almost ready for christmas here. thought we'd never get it done!! hope everyone is done and enjoying their efforts by now. good to see you, Meece, hope all is well with matt, and your DH, and of course, yourself..glad you survived all the family "yuckiness"..          3jays

BarbaraA

Chrissy, have a happy Christmas! Hope you get all your preparation done in time. 3jays, I'm with you. I am a susnshine gal who is freezing if the temp is below 80. High today is 70 so for me that means socks and a turtle neck with sweat shirt. Jo hope you are feeling better this morning. HnS, I agree, I would rather be anything but nauseous.

So I am having 6 friends for dinner Christmas Eve. Doing it the easy way: Honey baked Ham dinner (which will be delivered today). Just heat and serve. Then for Christmas Mom, two brothers and three of Mom's friends and fresh turkey, mashed, gravy, cranberry sauce, sweet potatos, green bean casserole, and of course, my homemade cherry and apple pie. I better get cracking on the pie making. Well, maybe tomorrow. HeeHee.

barbe1958

Phew, yes, I went without reconstruction and felt phantom sensations.

For a good laugh, go to the frozen food section of the grocery store and see what happens! ehheehheheeheheheheh

I would have an itch that was in "mid-air"! It doesn't last long; maybe weeks rather than months.

BarbaraA are the cherries IN with the apples are they two different pies? As for the green bean caserole, do you make it or is it "assembled" already?

BarbaraA

Two separate pies. Barbe. Hate peeling the apples, though. I assemble the casserole using the mushroom soup and Durkees onions.

barbe1958

Too funny! My DH and I have already committed to making a cherry and apple pie! I'll let you know how it goes if I remember what thread I posted this on.

jo1955

heartnsoul76 - One of the side effects of Tamox is nausea.  Yuck!  Been through that with Arimidex and Femara.  Hope this is not strike 3 - and I am out of options.  My onc will not be back in the office until Jan 3 and some time after that I will go see him.  No lingering se's from either of the AI's.  I have read on several threads that ladies have had nausea after rads, I did not.  Just the fatigue- even 2 1/2 weeks post rads, I still have some and that is doable.  

I am crossing my fingers that neither one of us has that problem.  We will have to keep each other posted on what happens.

BarbaraA & barbe1958 - I am baking pies for Christmas dinner - going a little unconventional - doing blackberry.  I did one last year and everyone ate that one first and asked if there was more. 

NativeMainer

Jo1955-what you are experiencing is not unusual. When the hustle and bustle of active treatment is done you suddenly have time to notice what you are and have been feeling. You don't have the distractions of going to rads every day, of doctor appointments every few days or week, This is the time that many women suddenly feel depressed, anxious, tired, whatever. And keeping a positive attitude is hard work, and sometimes even counterproductive. We have every reason to be angry, sad, frightened, upset, or whatever. Not getting these feelings out drains energy. Call your treatment center and talk with a social worker, or call your PCP and talk about taking an antidepressant for a few months. Hang in there, Jo, it gets better, really it does.

Phew-phantom sensations are not unusual. I've had both breasts removed (and reconstructed) and so have no feeling in that area, but when it's cold I could swear I have nipples that are just as tight as they can get! I've even looked down at times to see if my "headlights" are showing, and I have not had nipples reconstructed!. I don't mind that so much, but the itch I get once in a while is annoying. I can feel the itch, but not my fingers scratching where my brain thinks the itch is. Weird. And don't worry about bing in the minority, that doesn't apply here. Recon was important for me, but it is not for others, and that is fine. We each need to decide what is right for each of us.

I decided 3 years ago (the year I was diagnosed) that I wasn't going to pretend to like Christmas shopping and all that anymore. I make dipping oil that I give out for gifts at work and all those obligatory gift giving places. Special friends and family get a bottle of homemade with the dipping oil. I don't send Christmas cards. I enjoy visiting with family and friends and will cook for parties, but that's pretty much it. I will not go to the mall between Thanksgiving and the New Year (I get very uncomfortable in crowds with all kinds of people coughing and sneezing. I get exposed to enough germs at the university and the hospital.) I enjoy the season so much more this way. Call me Scrooge if you want, I'll take it!

jo1955

NativeMainer - I hear what you are saying.  Glad to hear it is not just me.  It is kind weird not having to remember which doctor to go see today.  Calendar is clear.  The funk comes and goes - some days are good - others are not.  I was a mental health worker in the Air Force for 17 years and it is time I practice what I used to preach.  This may be an excuse, but if I could get some decent sleep that would make a world of difference.  I think I will ask for a sleeping pill for a short time and see if that does the trick. I realize I don't have to keep a positive attitude everyday - that is hard work.  I can just need to deal with the emotions as they come up and put it behind me. Move on to the next chapter.  It has only been 4 months since my dx, what do I want?  A miracle?  I am more realistic than that.

You are not a Christmas Scrooge.  I feel the same way you do.  I do more ecards than anything else and keep everything else to a minimum.  I like the parties and doing the cooking.  Don't like the shopping.   

Thanks for listening and for your support.

Have A Great Day 

elimar86861

Greetings, heartnsoul76!  Glad you found your way to our thread.  I did not know you were just finishing up active treatment.  I finished up my rads 14 mos ago.  I can still notice a one shade darker rectangle on my treated area but, besides that, the thing that stayed with me the longest was a soreness in the ribs.  For over a year, they remained a little tender to the touch compared to the other side but before I wrote this I checked them again AND FINALLY (at least today) they seem not to feel different from my untreated side.  So, to you and jo1955, I say do not freak out if you have that same soreness.   Many women have written of having it and it takes some time to disappear.

As for the Tamox., the summer was hot flash hell for me, but I can say that since the humidity dropped in the Fall, I really have not been bothered with a single flash.  With a little luck, you may not notice ANY side effects from the Tamox.!

[I'm still going to leave "Home of the Hot Flash" up at the top (along with the orange Cheetos ribbon) because we are still the prime menopause age demographic, so there's bound to be someone on here having ahot flash on any given day.]

suzwes

Phew, I'll add that I also have phantom breast feelings, sometimes it's the nipple, or I get pain or as NM was talking about, the itch.  I will go to scratch and there's no feeling and it's very strange.  I have not had reconstruction either.  I'm considering it (my MX was 18 months ago) but I'm still a year or two away from even making a consult appointment with the plastic surgereon.

No cheetos in my office this morning but my friend went to the coney island place for breakfast and I requested and then proceeded to eat a very delicious coney dog (with cheese).  It's in fourth place after chocolate, wine and cheetos as the best breakfast I've ever had.  (and yes, I have had wine for breakfast before in the form of a mimosa!)

elimar86861

Hey suz!  You forgot the the well-loved "classic" breakfast of cold pizza!  Anyway, I'm not sure you should show your face on the ELAB thread after that one.  Here's a little something for you:

Pure Michigan:  Winter Virgins

I don't exactly agree with the sentiment, but Michiganders have never been ones to let Winter subdue them!  Hohoho!