MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

NativeMainer

The only time I sleep through the night since Jan 2007 is when I have serious chemical assistance.  Even with xanax and 20 mg of melatonin I will wake up after a couple of hours and have a hard time going back to sleep.  Or else I can't get to sleep for hours and hours, then am blissfully asleep when the alarm goes off.  Yuck. 

PauldingMom

Thanks for the review Elimar. Actually they sound pretty good, but this is coming from someone who spent most of the night hugging the potty.  TMI

Okay, I got some new news. Did everyone except me know that Chemo. and Radiation can cause your nerves to be like sun burnt skin, very sensitive to the touch?  This is what the surgeon told me yesterday when I had my epidural done. He was a little upset that his associates in his group or any of my other doctors hadn't picked up on this earlier. Anyways, everything went great and I have found myself a new doctor who seems to know what going on. The medicine made me sick to my tummy but that has passed and I am now walking like a 47 year old woman and not a 102 year old one. Thank you all for your well wishes and concerns.

Oh, I haven't had a UTI since I was in my 20's, so I can't help you there. And I usually get up twice at night to pee pee, but I also take a water bottle to bed with me and drink during the night. 

dawney

I very rarely sleep through the night.  If I pee right before bed I usually don't have to get up and pee but I wake up all during the night - ugh!!!

I had to start wearing my wig today.  I don't get my head shaved til Saturday but my hair is falling out in clumps and there was no way I was gonna be able to style it.  I had to take it off twice and put it back on because it was sliding off the back.  How do you keep a wig on a bald head? 

Eph3_12

dawney, I can't answer that question because I never ended up wearing my wig.  I just wore scarves, hats, & went commando!

Carrol2

Ok I usually sleep pretty well but i do wake up to pee once or twice. I have this odd bladder problem where it never seems to empty and without meds I would be peeing every hour 24/7. So i take two pills at bedtime and that probably helps me sleep as well as to empty all the way before bed. Luckily I can still take them with all the chemo stuff.

elimar86861

Well, so far there is not a one who has yet posted that they can get 6-8 hours of uninterupted sleep...naturally that is.  Was it really that much to hope for?

Welcome  dawney!  Can't give you any wig tips myself, but I hope someone here has some for you. Carrol2 is starting her chemo soon, you are just a bit ahead of her and she has a wig-in-waiting.  I did hear that the wigs are hot in summer, so you ladies missed the joy of all that, at least.  

Eph3_12

Yeah Paulding is among the living!

Carrol2

For anyone needing a wig The American Cancer Society gives them away fro free. I like mine but it is so different than my real hair. The choices are limited.

Valjean

I wake up every two hours like clock-work. Weird. Have done that since my girls were little. Can't remember sleeping even 4 hours straight before that. I've always been a light sleeper, too. If I do take a sleep aid, I might get 3 hours at the most before I wake up.

I looked at that Chester's Puffcorn. It's like puffed popcorn?? I don't like popcorn, so I passed it by. Didn't stop at the Cheetos either ~ not willpower, was just in a hurry!

Lisa ~ Happy to hear the epidural has made you young again! (not saying you were 'old' before!)  

raeinnz

Babies wrecked my good sleep habits but BC has totally annihilated them!!!!  Most I ever get now in a stretch is 4 hours and that is rare.  Sometimes I need to pee but others I just wake up.  I am getting better at keeping my mind blank when I wake now though so I go back to sleep reasonably quickly.

Joni - I laughed at your commando comment.  Brought to mind my comment to my friend not long ago.  We were away with a school barbershop group and one of the girls had forgotten a black camisole for her uniform and I was wearing one under my jacket.  I said to my friend, who is the teacher in charge, 'she can have mine - I have always wanted to go commando under a jacket'. The look on her face was priceless  - she nearly wet herself laughing and every time she looked at me for the rest of the day she burst into laughter and got quite a few odd looks from people for it. 

Paulding - so glad to hear you have got some relief from your awful back pain.  Long may it last!!

elimar86861

Even if you did not read the caption at the top today, you felt it in your bones, didn't you?  It's Pinkober.  I don't think I was photo competent for most of last October, so the thread didn't have a lot of gushing pink in it.  So if I DO go a little heavy this year, just combine it with last years nothing and average it out.

                                         

Last year at this time, I was hitting week six of rads.  Needless to say I was not going to be walking, striding, or even "aware" of things other than a great big machine in a room and my sore boob.  This year, I'm volunteering for a Making Strides rally. (They finally did call me back about it.)  I'm not in the walk, but I am going to be a route marshall.  I don't really know what one does, but I think I go to a strategic location, cheer, and make sure no one falls down.  I think I wear a designated t-shirt while performing this task.  It seems pretty easy. I asked them for something that I could do with my younger son (a.k.a. Mr. Community Service.)  I think I'm part of a survivor recognition also.  Report to follow in two weeks.

PauldingMom

Love Ms. Pinkober!  My all black dog can't go to that extreme but she does wear a pink collar with pink ribbons.  Yes all it is Breast Cancer Awareness month. Aren't we blessed to have an entire month designated to this disease? I haven't found any specific walks or awareness rallies in our area, but will be heading down to historic Marietta this weekend and I'm sure they will have something going on. I can't wait to get out of the house for something other than a doc. visit. Going to stop in and see my son who goes to college nearby and works in the Marietta Square. Have a great time at the walk Elimar. It sounds like fun. 

Yes I am amongst the LIVING and it feels FINE! 

Angel40

Elimar, and to all

Hello! my canserversary is on Oct. 15 it will be 2 years then and I would say I'm done with the bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction and radiation. Then I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia March of this year.

I need some enlightenment and help here. Is there something wrong with me to feel so depressed, sad, and I just want to disappear this month of Oct. for breast cancer awareness month which is also my mastectomy anniversary. The only thing I could keep on thinking is all the flash back from biopsy, mri, mastectomy, radiation, and so on. In short, I don't want to see the pink ribbons, and to listen and watch to breast cancer awareness month. Don't get me wrong, I loved pink and I loved it that a lot of people support breast cancer but I cannot breath, my chest is so tight that I want to hide. Anyone feels the same, is there something wrong with me? what should I do?

elimar86861

Hello Angel40, half the women here cannot stand pink either.  I'm o.k. with all the pink ribbon stuff until it gets on things like macaroni and motor oil.  It has reached a point of overkill.  Then again, breast cancer has reached a point of killing so many women, so maybe there can never be too much awareness.  It's a split decision on how much pinkness one can take.

Angel40, it is very normal to be depressed because of everything that has happened to you since your Dx; plus constant pain, like fibromyalgia, will make you feel that way too.  I have pain like that, and I KNOW of something that HELPED.  I was on Cymbalta for four months.  It's for depression AND it is for fibromyalgia too.  It worked pretty well for me, but I had to stop (and you have to wean off it slowly) because it interferes with Tamoxifen.  Being ER-/PR-, you won't have to worry about that.  Ask your doc. It might work wonders for you.  Also, Vit. D3 is supposed to assist in managing the body's perception of pain.  I don't notice much difference if any myself.

Congrats on being a two year survivor!

OG56

Hello Middies in the Pink! I would like to say that I miss sleeping as much as I miss my youth. I have always needed 8 hours of nice deep sleep to function. Hasn't happened without heavy chemicals since BC. I would give alot to just conk out and stay that way uninterrupted for 6 hours. I stopped going pee-pee all the time when I started using VagiFem my Dr's said the lack of estrogen makes our bladders act up, to bad it doesn't do much for my MOJO!

Have a Chester Cheeto weekend

Angel40

Thank you elimar!

I tried cymbalta and it helped with my pain but such a terrible side effects that I cannot work so I told the doctor and I stop taking the cymbalta.

elimar86861

Angel40, a newer drug for fibromyalgia is called Savella.  This does not have the dual use for depression like Cymbalta does.  It blocks more norepinephrine than it does serotonin.  That one did not agree with me (insomnia, crankiness, and didn't curb the pain like Cymbalta did for me), but everyone is different.  Your effect may be better.  Don't give up.  In Mid-Age, we have to strive for good health and not buy into the "you'll just have to live with it" mindset.

Valjean

Angel40 ~ Your post brought tears to my eyes.... I went through a mini-bout with deep sadness not too long ago. Could not stop crying in fact ~ didn't take much to set me off. Had major rants, too! I look the other way when I pass a display of 'pink awareness' stuff. Seems it's everywhere. I can't help but wonder what other bc warriors think when they stand by a display while checking out at the register. I never buy any of the stuff, that's for sure. I want to yell out sometimes, "Does everyone here really realize what this means? Or, do you just look at it, think, 'okay, Pink - must be that time of year again' " & go your merry way." There is nothing wrong with you, okay? As for what to do when you see that stuff, I take a deep breath, say a silent prayer with thanks for how lucky I have been, smile & go on. And, as for the sadness, it does pass. We all go through it. I come here for support & suggestions on how to get through it. It REALLY does help.

Angel40 ~ I will try to remember to post something special on the 15th to help you celebrate your cancerversay, but in case I forget, HAPPY CANCERVERSARY!  

I'm packing for an 11 day trip to my DD's 7 hours north, plan on doing nothing but playing with my Grandchildren! Should be some beautiful fall color as well. I will take pictures.

Love & hugs to all!

♥ 

Angel40

Valijean,  Thank you very much for the support and prayers! I'm not here that much but I know that I could always go here to be my COMFY place to be with the same people who feels the same way.

Thank you to all!

I know and understand that each person is different and I'm very happy that at least people are trying to support breast cancer BUT they have to understand and consider how do you think we feel. How much energy and effort to we need just to go on with our lives.

Angel40

Elimar, the doctor just gave me ultram. seems to help and I do water therapy sometimes. working full time is not easy plus I still have 10 & 11 yr. old kids.

Meece

Finally got on the internet.  I was leaving for AZ at 3:00 to go visit DS and DIL.  It is a good 11 hour drive and since we are coming home Sunday we wanted to spend as much time as we could.  DS Has lots planned for us.  We have already gone to a shooting range and tried out several of the weapons he has.  If only I could post pictures.  DS is working on that issue.  I think he is installing IE because Firefox has added some sort of security to keep us from posting pics through it.  This morning we went repelling, again, if only I could post pics.

Now we are getting ready to go into Tombstone before DILs high school's football game tonight.  Tomorrow we meet with my brother & SIL, then tubing tomorrow afternoon.  then home Sunday morning.  I will need a vacation to rest up from this.

raeinnz

Angel140 - I don't like all the pink stuff either but I know awareness is going to save lives so I just ignore it as best I can.  I also don't celebrate any dates regarding my dx or treatment as it was all such a horrific time - I can't celebrate bad stuff.  Regarding your sadness, I don't know if it is just because of pink October or if you are going through sad times anyway so ignore the rest of my post if it is just a oncer. I went through some very dark times and places starting about 6 months from dx and I still have down times now 21 months out and I think there will always be bad days from time to time in the future.  You have been and still are carrying a heavy load with work and younger children to care for as well as your treatment so you won't have had much time to deal with all the emotional 'stuff' that comes to visit us once active treatment is finished.  I used to fight the sadness but I don't now - I find if I accept the sadness is there, let my heart and mind go where they will without feeling guilty about the thoughts and just push through the days as best as I can, keeping busy, that it eventually eases and I get back to a reasonably calm state.  My dr said as long as I was functioning ie working, exercising, eating normally, I was not clinically depressed so I didn't need medication to help and he also likened the sadness to the grief process and said that I should give myself at least 2 - 3 years for it to resolve naturally.  The sadness is definitely easing now but things that remind me of the whole situation still make me very uncomfortable and most probably always will.

Sending you calm, supporting thoughts from NZ

raeinnz

Meece - fun filled times - sounds like you are having a fantastic time!!! Excuse me for not understanding but what is 'repelling' and 'tubing'?

flopsy

Can answer the question of what is tubing>>>>It is gettiing in a large blown up rubber inner tube type thing and riding it down a very rapid flowing stream or river.  I think repelling is done in a large blown up rubber boat and going down rapids.  Usually done with a guide to make sure you steer properly and make it safely.   Where I live we call it "RAFTING".  Both are great fun and require you to wear a life vest.

Ginny

elimar86861

Rapelling (picture definition)...starting at top, going downward.

             

barbe1958

I had one doctor in my live say "But you HAVE something to be sad about!!" That put it all into perspective. We ARE allowed to be sad....

NativeMainer

Oh. Lord, it's Pinktober again.  I HATE PINK!  I HATE all the "prevent bc get a mammogram" crap.  I got mammograms from my early 30's and STILL got bc, so I know mammograms do NOT PREVENT bc.  I HATE the expectation that I;m going to be delirously happy everytime someone reminds me of the h@ll I've been through by walking, running, biking, or anything elsing  in my honor.  I keep wanting to scream at people that I AM NOT A DIAGNOSIS.  I AM A PERSON.  I find this month to be totally dehumanizing, depersonalizing, full of unrealistic expectations and fund raising scams.  Can anyone tell me just exactly what treatment advances all the Komen money has generated? 

OK, thanks for letting me get the annual I Hate Pink rant out of my system, at least for a little while. 

ToriGirl

Let's forget it's Pinktober and talk about Halloween instead!  It's my favorite holiday and so much more fun to talk about!

Tori

DE COLORES!

NativeMainer

Let's see, candy corn, miniature Butterfingers, snack size Reeses and M&Ms. Taking my friend's 2 little boys to the corn maze, riding in the wagon pulled by the tractor, then finding pumpkins to take home and carve into jack-o-lanterns.  This will be the 4th year I've taken them on this outing.  They were 5 and 6 the first time, they're 9 and 10 now! 

There's an apple orchard down the road from the corn maze.  On Saturdays they make old fashioned cake donuts.  My favorites are the sugar coated cider donuts.  I can buy a dozen and only 3 or 4 make it into the house--and it's only an 8 mile drive!  Fresh, cold, unpasturized Apple Cider.  Apple pies with cheddar cheese.  I love this time of year (ecept for the pink crap)!

gingersfavorite1

Hmm....  I must be too much of a rookie still.    I love pink!    Always have.     I enjoy seeing the pink ribbon merchandise in stores - and feel that when people see me looking at it - they can actually connect a person to it.    It might be their first opportunity to put a face with the cause.