MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

sheila888

Elimar....I really didn't want to make this public for one reason...

We have a long term survivors here like myself I felt like slap on the face DX second time with a new primary.....

No I didn't get radiation...

Last mammo picked it up and it wasn't like maybe,,,they said it was cancer....

Stereotactic biopsy confirmed it.

First I decided to have another lumpectomy which I did but wasn't sure about that decision week after my decision was clear..I wanted a BMX.....SN had micro cells...so MO said he wouldn't be comfortable if I didn't have chemo....

Had 4 cycles of TC every 3 weeks and finished it on February 1..

I will start on the pills next month..We decided to take a 1 month vacation from everything.

This was my second journey...thank You all for reading.

Barb..I wish you the best like i do with all my other sisters here......

sheila

barbe1958

Sheila, my heart is with you. I know I felt like I had already "paid my dues" with my first cancer, so what the hell??? You are in my prayers, sweetie.

barbe1958

elimar, you don't need breast tissue for the cancer to recur. Just thought I'd mention that. Think of the ladies with lung, liver, brain mets, etc. Once your body has created the perfect storm, it knows how to do it...

sheila888

Thank You Barb.

Sending heart felt hugs from

one sister to another

Sheila

sheila888

Elimar...You're right i did everything in my power to get rid of the beast again.

Now I just want to see my GC to grow up

22 months old girl

6 months old girl

Baby boy who is due next month.

I'm grateful to be here. They are my inspirations........

barbe1958

So true, Sheila!! I had 4 grandsons and finally got my girl last November...it's amazing isn't it?

sheila888

I saw her picture on FB..she is adorable....

And the life continues.........

Loral

Sheila and Barb, so sorry...I hope and pray for a cure some day!!!!

Loral

elimar86861

Thanks, Sheila and Barbe, for elaborating. Two different scenarios, and both just not fair after all you have been through once for it to happen again.

Barbe, you are saying Stage IV but you also are making it sound that it is a recurrence to just the local (or maybe regional) area? Do you have mets elsewhere? So is the plan to try to disappear that lump with radiation, and the Arimidex? Is surgical removal not an option?

All I know is that if I offered up my two breasts as sacrifices to the cancer demon, I would really feel gypped to still have to deal with it yet again.

On a related note, my BFF who is Stage IV (and who I write about on here from time to time) had failures with Arimidex, then Tamoxifen, then Faslodex, but now is having success with Xeloda. Her tumor markers went from the 500's down to 43 over the last 6 mos.

The other day, my husband asked me when I would stop thinking and talking about cancer? I guess never. Even tho' I feel like I have moved on, I guess I still do talk about it, maybe because of my friend, or maybe because of my own risk, or maybe because I've heard enough incidents of it returning. It does still occupy my thoughts more frequently than I would like. Is there any chance that my future dementia will erase all of the cancer thoughts first? It probably doesn't work that way. I'll probably forget my husband's name before that. Life is just full of irony.

barbe1958

A recurrence of the SAME cancer or mets makes you "late stage" or, as we know it, stage IV. Getting a new primary is a real piss off! I have lesions on my liver and two kidneys they are watching to see if they respond to Arimidex. I also have big nodes in my neck and left axilla as well as one in my abdomen they are watching as well. The onc said there is cancer all over inside me just waiting to settle. He said a CT won't confirm areas that are too small now.

Eph3_12

I have an ultrasound & diagnostic mammo on Friday. PCP felt 3 possibles. y'all y'all are all I am telling till I know something definitive.

Eph3_12

This is this PCP's 1st time in feeling me up and to her credit she said the likeliness of 3 masses is remote. But, I just have a feeling. Hope it's incorrect.

MinusTwo

Eph - fingers crossed that she is in fact incorrect. Hope you don't go crazy waiting for Friday.

Tomboy

Eph, here's hoping, along with Minus!

Barbe, that sucks big time, I am very sorry to hear that...

NativeMainer

Praying for everyone.

Eph3_12

NM That's a new avatar, yes? I now can't remember what your old one was. I wish that the avatars would stay the same up to the point of change and then from the point forward the changed one takes effect so we could disregard relying on our steel trap minds-hahahahahaha!

elimar86861

NativeMainer, I, too, immediately noticed the new "you." Why you don't look "Maine-y" at all, (she said cryptically.)

Eph, Don't let 'em scare you too easily. Will be awaiting your report. My own line of thinking is maybe you have, like, one actual (B9) lump in there and the two other possible ones are just some dromedary humps of excess Cheetos consumption that should change if you can only keep your hand outta the bag long enough.

Barbe, Thanks for clarification. I (perhaps wrongly) have "local recurrence" and "mets" as being more different in my mind, but in any event my real question to you was if mets had travelled to other sites of your body? Sorry to hear that they seem to be on the Grand Tour and visiting many locations. Looking back, it was a good(*) thing that you chose Mx and skipped rads the first time around as they can be used now.

(*) I was going to write "lucky" but that just does not apply in any cancer situation, does it?

--------------------------------

Hahaha! What a morning. I went for my "eyes to thighs" CT this morning, and it was as boring as ever. My pre-meds kicked in and I didn't stop breathing when the contrast dye went in. (The cocky little daredevil in me usually take half the meds they tell me to take, so there is always an element of suspense to my visits about possible reaction. Puts the scare into my husband, too. I admit to playing into that, mwahaha. As it was, the steroid dosage was sufficient to keep me up for all but 3 hours last night. My personal drug protocol has always been "less is more," but don't anyone else follow in my footsteps here. You all do what YOU need to do to keep breathing, o.k.?)

Asserting Oneself Dept.: So, since this should be my last follow-up scan (cross everything!) I requested that my MO ask for a really comprehensive report on this one. You know what I mean...not just "stable" and "unchanged" and "unremarkable"--but sizes, shapes, fatness, you know, detail. Well, when I got to the CT room, I mentioned that that is what I wanted, and the Tech started to blubber that he was not involved with all that, and I needed to let my MO know, blah, blah, blah... My sassy little imp retort was exactly, "I have already done that; I am reiterating it to you so please note that for the radiologist who will be reading the scan and making the report. This is what I want and I AM paying for it, so please put my request in."

Swear to God(ess), and continuing my Taco Bell simile, I am pretty sure I can get ALL the levels of hot sauce, if I request them. Let's see how my imaging center does. Will I be one burrito short this time? Stay tuned.

I understand that I probably come off a little evil when you read my behaviors at so many of my follow-ups. "Well, I'm NOT evil, I'm just misunderstood." Hahaha, what a lie! I am evil, but only HALF EVIL.

Also, US on thyroid nodule. I asked if there was a way to tell from US if I had an enlarged parathyroid? She said it was hard to tell that. My own foreboding is that I might have something going on along those lines that will require closer scrutiny and my making the acquaintance of an endocrinologist one day soon. Oh, boy!

To finish on a positive note, I had a great nurse. She was about my age, got the needle in my vein on the first stick AND gave me a hair complement(*) to boot. That's a double-plus on the ego-meter because I had just chopped my own locks. Ooo-la-la!

I'm typing a lot. It's the steroids.

(*) Not to be confused with the BEST hair complement I ever had in my LIFE (so far, because I know I could do better one day) when I got a thumbs up for my 'do from a JFK conspiracy theorist, on the grassy knoll, in Dallas, TX. And not just any old theorist, but one who had been in a six-part mini-series on A&E back in the day. Now, I don't know what kind of credentials THAT would give anyone for commenting on hair? I have just always assumed it meant that my hair looked somewhat better than the blood-soaked gunshot hair of JFK, from the Bethesda pics. Well, that's definitely something.

barbe1958

eph, prayers being pounded your way! elimar, the CT would pick up the parathyroid, wouldn't it? My adrenal gland was mentioned in my report..

I was destroyed my first brain scan when they said "unremarkable"......BWHAHAHAHA

elimar86861

Barbe, The CT was the first to notate "nodule" on thyroid, but apparently it is not the best imaging for that (hence the US) and I guess neither can differentiate if the enlargement is actual parathyroid gland (usually size of a grain of rice) or not. I first mainly had the US to determine if it was a nodule on the thyroid (B9) or if it was enlarged lymph node (not so B9) and the US ruled out the node, so that was good. (You missed some concerns I had with my parathyroid about 6 mos. ago, stemming from slightly elevated blood calcium, which I have had on a few draws now. I have a lot of info. on this now, and waiting for my next CBC in two weeks, after which will decide what might come next on this.) The US tech mentioned nuclear med. imaging to differentiate, but I honestly don't know if that would be a must. If my concerns continue, I hope to find some endocrinologist with "mad expertise" in the area. This is something that has not concerned a single one of my docs to pursue further than periodic scans. YOU know yourself, that sometimes that is not enough. I may have to push to get definitive answers. So that's that story.

Bwahahaha, as well! I would be so destroyed too. (I would feel my bad brain would deserve some kind of remark...)

elimar86861

Still wired on the steroids, just in case you wondered.

Tomboy

It IS nice to see you again, Barbe. 'member I was kathec?

Whoa, elimar! I love that half~evil thingy. When I was born, they assigned me a number. That number happened to have three consecutive sixes. I didn't mind, until once I had to go to a churches food pantry give away. Sadly, there were no cheetos, or doritos, or ding dongs of any kind. But when the lady at the desk asked me my social? Her pencil lead broke and they couldn't get me out of there fast enough. I really should have demanded Cheetos, eh?

The other part of the story is that one scan or another that I had a year or so ago, the persons literature they wrote about me/it, revealed that I had a large amount of stool in my colon. Huh. Otherwise, calling me full of shit. I didn't think that was very nice! Oh well, they probably put it in there to make the doc who ordered the test laugh. Heh heh, made me laugh too

MinusTwo

Elimar - "we're misunderstood..." West Side Story? Gee Sargent Krupke ... "We ain't no delinquents, we're misunderstood. Deep down inside us there is good."

But I'll agree to the 333 for 1/2 evil.

elimar86861

MinusTwo, That was my incorrect use of quotation marks. I was trying to parrot what gets said about every sassy bad boy/bad girl, mischief maker ever. Alternate: "He's/She's not really bad, he's/she's just misunderstood." I can't even trace the origins to where I first heard that???? Probably when I was much younger and it did not yet apply to me. Hehehe.

Let's all take a moment and try to remember our innocence. I'm serious. Try it.

Not as easy as you might think, is it?

(Yeah, I'm still steroid-trippin', but I think it is finally time to call it a day.)

barbe1958

kathec, I recognized your avatar!!! Was surprised to see someone else had the same avatar as you. Nice to see you again, sweetie!

elimar, nuclear medicine is the only way to confirm a lesion on the thyroid as they measure uptake. Years ago I had to eat a radioactive fried egg sandwich, but lately it's been just a drink. I have my whole thyroid out now, it came out in halves years apart. Keep us posted!

NativeMainer

Yes, that is a new avatar.I changed from a Maxine cartoon to a pic of me taken on vacay--7 of us from one of the threads got together on a Disney Cruise.It was a blast!

Eph--I wish the avatars would stay the same up to the point of change, too, for the same reason!

El--it doesn't look "Main-y" since the pic was taken in the Bahamas--that's my story and I'm sticking to it!And good for you for telling off that tech, and reminding them who is the customer!And if you don't the detailed report, make them go back and read it again and include the details.The images are saved almost forever so they can do that easily enough.And you are not half evil, you are advocating for yourself.

Old Avatar:

sheila888

((((((( Joni ))))))

iammags

That is just hysterical!!

Eph3_12

My friends, They called PCP this afternoon. They say the lump(s) felt are "oil cysts" that have been in place for several years and are stable. I had the diagnostic mammo on leftie and the ultrasound. My yearly is due in august so I will be checked again in 6 months. Have to say I am relieved but for some reason, I don't feel like there is closure on it. I'll try to just "let it go" until August (will keep close feel however).

You all still continue to crack me up, even after all these years-as Paul Simon sings, "Still crazy after all these years....STIIILLL crazy....."

Loral

Good News Eph!!!!