SEPTEMBER 2009 RADS

Titan

Hey dsgirl...are you new to this rads board..don't remember talking to you before but welcome!  We are glad to have you!   Never be afraid to rant here...we love to do that!   And there is always someone to calm you down and talk some sense into you..I love it...these ladies keep me sane and..hopefully I give back sometimes too...don't like to take all the time  you were diagnosed about the same time as I was....what a heck of a year wasn't it?  I really don't like the month of March..never have..not I really don't like it

Betsy...where the heck are you sweetie!  Miss you and your posts...

BetsyBuzz

Hey ladies.. Titan I'm still here. Work has been crazy lately, putting in long hours each day then had to work last weekend too. I've just been too tired to even read the posts. I'm also still fighting the breast infection. Kawee...my symptoms were swelling, redness, my breast was hot, and very very sore. This happened suddenly after a month of wonderful healing. I felt SO GOOD...just prior to the infection. My infection has improve but my breast has still not returned to pre-rads size so I know it's still inflamed. My bs is suppose to call me tomorrow a.m. I've finished with my second round of antibotics, things have improved but I can't really tell if it's gone.

I hear you all about being tired...and yes I've been whining about it too....but today after hearing of the tragedy in Haiti, I'm thinking this is a pretty minor irritant compared to a real tragedy. So I plan to refocus my thoughts to something more positive. Like how good this year is going to be...even though it has not started out the way I planned. But really...there is no way it can be as bad as last year...so no matter what happens, it's gonna be a good year.

  

Titan

Positive, positive, positive!  Yep...I can do it.

A co-worker of mine has a team of missionaries in Haiti right now...they are OK...but from the news it just sounds horrible...

BetsyBuzz

My neighbor just left for Haiti. She is a trauma nurse and works with Medical Teams International. It's just so sad and makes me appreciate everything I have. Even that damn infected boob!

Titan

The pictures in the newspapers are horrific....one wonders why......

Tomorrow is the anniversary of one year that I found my freaking lump...I stil think about that time..how I found it,just rolled over in bed..felt something),called my sil (she had just gone through a double masectomy) and she told me that I need to call the dr immediately,,.went to the dr..told to wait a week or so until my period came...waited a few more weeks..and then shazaam..and you guys know the rest...,what a year,.....NOW ...trying to get back to paying attention to things....like Haiti....and caring about it....

BetsyBuzz

It has been a long year...but 2010 is going to be SO MUCH BETTER...I can feel it!  I don't like to look back but I'm glad of one thing. I am happy that this site gave me so much support and I've found a network of friends. I already have three sisters...but now I feel like I have lots more sistas! We have all walked this path together and have bonded. Thru our ups and downs, freaking and joy...we stand together.

Titan I'm sending you good thoughts as you sail through the one year anniversary. Mine is another month out.

I started my third round of antibiotics today. Pray this will be my last round. This is getting pretty old. I squeezed some spinach for a quiche today and my breast hurt for about a 1/2 hour after..not right..I know. I see my bs again Tuesday morning.

AmyIsStrong

It seems like we are all hitting or approaching our 1 year anniversaries. A women on my chemo board (where we are all hitting the same milestone as well) suggested that we plan something GOOD on that date and other important dates in our journey to replace the awful association on that day with something enjoyable.
My dx day is 3/2 and I am going to take that day and go with my beloved SIL to the Philadelphia Flower Show. We are going to surround ourselves with beauty and nature and look forward to SPRING.  I am going to plan something nice for my surgery date and my first chemo date as well. The other dates don't feel significant to me, but those three DO. So I am going to try to make them special 'me' days to celebrate how far I've come. Something to think about............'

Betsy - I agree about 2010. It is going to be the year we move FORWARD past all this treatment stuff. But i have also found myself thinking differently about ending treatment. I have always been so excited about it (counting down on the calendar, etc.) but now I am feeling a little more shaky. My bc mentor (who went through this 8 years ago) said that it is normal, as we now have to re-define ourselves as post-cancer-treatment women. First we were just ourselves (pre-dx) then we were cancer warriors, and now we have to define and establish who we are going to be as post-cancer women. I know for me, I want the rest of my life to be wonderful (and LONG!) but i will not be able to be the same person i was before all this. So it is all about finding the 'new normal' that we hear so much about, and part of that is finding the 'new me!'

I hope you all are having a good weekend.

Amy

micheleboots

Amy, I love your idea...I think I will do that..

ccbaby

My 1 year anniversary of finding my lump is tomorrow. It is hard to believe it has been a year. Today,  I was looking at pics of myself from a year ago, I don't even look like the same person. It is crazy to think that then I didn't have a clue what I was in store for the next year. That is a good idea Amy about doing something positive on diagnosis day.  I go in tomorrow for my 15th Herceptin treatment. Only 2 left after this one. I never liked the month of March before either, but I am looking forward to it this because I will be done with Herceptin and have my second stage of breast reconstruction surgery.  Then I will hopefully be done with everything.

kawee

You know, I can't even remember the date of my dx.  I know my mammo was in April and I went for it.  After that it's all such a blur.  I know one of my surgeries was either April or May, the other in July, Rads in September.  Of course, I've always been kind of good at that (at least my sister tells me) I just "stuff" stuff I don't want to deal with.  Good or bad?  Who know.  Seems to work for me.

We're having an open house today.  My husband is retiring in March.  I want to move back home to Palmdale.  Never thought I would, but after bc I miss my family.  3 people came today.  Wish me luck.  Goodbye Coast, hello Desert-----Gulp!!

Titan

Good for you Kawee....I never thought much about retirement because then I thought...then we would be OLD but you know what..it is looking better and better....I had to work today but the rest of my family is off from school and/or work...guess it is getting old being the only one having to get up early and go to work!  I know I'm whining! 

It is a good idea to start to let last year go...I know that everyone in my family wants to let it go...and maybe I should...for them.... I guess we should just move on and not try to remember the horrors of last year and enjoy the time we have now....

Christy..I think you look really sassy with that hair....you also look ornery as hell.

BetsyBuzz

Ok...I'm bummed. Went to see the bs today. She has begun treating me for radiation induced fibrosis. I start a six month series of pentoxifylline plus Vit. E. pills. I was ok with what she said until this evening when I read online that it can get very severe (think I've been there) and there is no cure.  I started looking online for more information because I got the third degree from the pharmacist when I picked up my prescription. The protocol she has me on has helped other bc patients and was reported in the European Journal of Medicine. I just want to SCREAM...this is suppose to be my year of healing.

I'm taking a deep breath right now.......no point in freaking...it does no good other than effect my body negatively. Plus, I'm not even sure that is my diagnosis as my bs never said it directly to me.

Gotta go..my dh just got home and I need to break the news to him.

kawee

Betsy - I had never heard of that.  Is that what's causing the problem with your breast?  I just read about it and the study in Europe.  I'm so sorry your going thru this emotional turmoil again.  My gosh, how much more "stuff" is there?

Wish I could make it better.

elimar86861

The long term effects of radiation are really downplayed, making them seem like such a rarity.  In reality, lots of us are still having aches and pains, soreness and swelling. Betsy, I do hope you get some relief from the latest treatment.  What tissue is getting the fibrosis?  The surgery area, or do you mean lung scarring?

ccbaby

(((((Betsy))))).....I'm so sorry. It just sucks that we have to do these treatments to fight the cancer and yet, the treatments cause other problems.  BIG HUGS.

echosalvaje

AAAUUUGGGHHHHH Betsy, I hate that you are having to deal with this! Does no cure mean no end to the pain it causes? or will that let up over time? Are there surgical options that could give you relief? Am I asking too many questions,,,,sorry.....I've never heard of this.

Titan

Betsy!  Went on line to look up this RIF......another thing that we didn't know about....but it sounds like the medicine plus Vit E does help...so let's hope it works for you....you seem to be the pioneer when it comes to side effects....it was kinda humorous at first but now it is not a laughing matter.....you can stop any time!

Hang in there., keep us posted!

AmyIsStrong

I remember my consult with the rad onc. He did discuss some side effects but just glossed over them quickly and said they almost never happen.  I thought I got through rads with almost no problem. Then when i saw my BS for a check up, she pointed out the residual burning and misshapen-ness that was due to rads. I had no idea. I knew the nipple was a little strange (both in look and feel) but didn't attribute it to that.

At the time, I would not have considered not doing it. Now that it is over....well, it DAMN WELL better have worked and keep the bc from EVER coming back to ANY of us!!!

elimar86861

Right on, AmyIsStrong!  My sore ribs say it better have been worth it!

kawee

My breast is STILL sore!!!!

kawee

My breast is still sore!!  Don't know whether to bring it to anyone's attention or not.

Titan

My right breast is absolutely fine...it looks fine...it is just bigger..went from a B to a C..which is kind of weird...I don't know why it is fine...now I'm wondering if the rads did their job?  Another thing to freak out about?  Or not????  The only thing I had was a small issue after I was done..the skin started to break...we went to Myrtle Beach at that time..went braless..let them just kind of hang out and I was fine....I don't know what so say...it is so different for everyone..how can we really tell anyone what to expect...it goes from mimimal se's to things like RIF....why is it so different?  Is is our bodies?  Is it the actual treatments?  Wouldn't we all pretty much get the same zaps?  Isn't American medicine the same pretty much anywhere you would go?  I just can't believe that all of us would react so differently to the same kind of treatments...

BetsyBuzz

Hi all,

I called my bs office today for more clarification. Yes, my bs has entered early RIF as a diagnosis. The drugs are hopefully going to prevent it from getting too bad. There is no cure although in one research paper a doctor has challenged that notion. I like that Dr! The drugs are also to help my body heal, as I've not been able to on my own. The drugs aid the tissue by providing additional oxygen to the cells as they heal. I'm scheduled to go back to the bs in 3 mos. but to call if after my antibiotics my infection flares again. My body is obviously having problems healing. I gained 7 pounds in 3 days the moment I got off the antibiotics. I'm sure it was all water weight. Remember.... I was the one worried about shriveling like a prune. Man I'd give anything to shrivel a little. LOL

Kawee- Call your bs regarding your breast. Let them make the call if you have any problem or not. I am so glad I listened to everyone who encouraged me to go to my rads onc., as I think I caught this all very, very early.

Yeah..Titan the joke about me having all these weird SE's is getting old...mostly cause it's ended up being so true. First chemo, now rads...what luck! I know I've always been a little unique but eee gads this is ridiculous.

kawee

Hey, everyone.  I called my rad onco today about my breast soreness.  Went to chiropractor and couldn't even lay on my stomach.  Anyway, he said if it's not red, hot or the skin is thickened, it's normal.  Everything looks fine, so I guess I'll consider it normal (for me anyway). 

Betsy, does your skin look thickened?

Titan

Ok..ladies..I think it is time that we all got together...seriously...we need to talk!  Everyone is from everywhere..but what do you think we meet someplace..like Chicago for the weekend..maybe in the spring?  I'm serious about this....I know there is always the matter of $$$$..but you know what..we are worth it..I would love to spend a weekend in Chicago..or somewhere..hanging out with all of you..we would have so much fun!

Kawee..I'm glad you are normal....that is a good thing...although I think none of us are "normal" and we never will be..but you know..maybe that is not a bad thing!

Betsy..you start shriveling NOW..you are my favorite duck!

AmyIsStrong

I would do it, I think.  I finish Herceptin in April and then will have my port out, so I'm not totally 'done' yet. But if the ladies are in, I'll work hard to get there.

Chicago? hmmm maybe if it's not cold anymore.  I hate to even bring this up because I'm not AT ALL a Vegas person, but it IS cheap both to fly and stay there and there's lots to do. Is that crazy? Let's see what the other ladies say.

Titan

Amy...wouldn't mind Las Vegas either!  The cheaper the better..and Vegas is soo fun..haven't been there for 10 years so it may be time to make another trip...no matter where...we would have a great time.!  I  checked from Cleveland to Chicago it would be $170.00...I'll do some searching for Las Vegas'

Maybe we should just go to Cancun..and go topless!  HEE HEE

kawee

Count me in for Vegas.  Me and my high school girlfriends meet there once in awhile!  Gosh, wouldn't that be amazing!!

Titan

It would be more than amazing..it would be freaking amazing..it we can handle this BC thing we can handle a little trip.......I don't like to fly that well..especially by myself..but I can do it...if I can handle surgery, chemo and rads..than what the hell..excuse me..I mean what the heck.

BetsyBuzz

Hey I think we all deserve to treat ourselves to a little fun! I'm game. The last time I went to Vegas was in the early 1970's. I know it's changed a lot. I think it sounds fun. I'm open to Chicago too.

Kawee - I haven't noticed any thickness. But I do have redness, it hurts, sometimes it's been hot to the touch and definitely have swelling. My nipple also looks a little strange in texture and color. According to a report I read 25% of women develop some sort of fibrosis after breast radiation. The onset is from 2 mos. to 8 years after rads. Bummer huh? At least you all now know to be on the look out for it. I'm still hoping mine actually isn't RIF...but after reading more about the symptoms I fear once again I've pulled the short straw.  But I'm going to try to stay positive and hope the drugs do their magic. I'm just so happy my bs was so quick to recognize what was happening and had a plan of attack.