Canadian Health Care

rinna40

Mary - it gets pretty cold here too, (the coldest I remember is -35), I just don't like it colder than -5, .  Funny though, when I lived in Mexico, the kids I taught would wear their big winter coats when it got down to +5, they couldn't handle that cold. And once when it was almost 0, we had to have indoor recess!!! Myself and the other Canadian teachers couldn't believe it. 

Where's Barbe? 

covertanjou

Sorry Rinna, I misunderstood.  I agree with you about -5.  I can even take -10, but after that.....it is tooo cold!!  For most of us here, winter is our hibernation period.  We tend not to go out as much.  I try to go out for walks anyway, but sometimes, I just walk 5 minutes, and I go back home!

Barbe....where are you?? 

lassie11

Yes - winter is when we hardly see our neighbours any more except when we all are out shovelling the next snow fall. On the other hand, nothing beats the clean, quiet of a new snowfall. Whatever weather you want, here in south eastern Ontario, you can have it - just wait. I'd be OK without the mud seasons in November and March.

Is this the day Barbe is getting some results? or is that after Christmas? Hope you are well.

barbe1958

Okay, this is the story of the "Gish Guy".

We stopped a car for erratic driving late one night. He was on the Don Valley Parkway in the north east part of Toronto. When we approached his car we saw that he had open beer bottles in his car. He was geeky looking and very sad. He was polite as we locked up his car and took him back to the scout car (cruiser actually means motorcycle, but it's mis-used all the time to mean police car). 

He sat meekly in the back as we started to drive to the station in downtown Toronto to give him a breathalizer test. My partner and I chatted away and at one point I wondered if it seemed rude to the guy as his life was probably about to change.

As we drove down the parkway, we started to hear a moaning. This was in the days when there was a heavy wire grill separating the back seats (there is now plexiglass and I understand why!). Suddenly the guy started to bang his head on the grill!! VERY, very hard! He grabbed the grill with his hands and I started to bang on his hands to get his attention to make him. stop! 

We called in on the radio that we were going to continue to St. Josephs hospital instead of the station as our guy seemed to be having emotional issues. You could hear him screaming over the radio we found out later. 

He just kept banging and banging his head. We had blood sprayed all over the back of our shirts. Finally as we got to the hospital he rested his head on the back of the seat and let the blood run down his face. He looked dead with his forehead all torn up.

We pulled into the ER and went in and asked for a stretcher with straps and some big men. A nurse came out to see the guy. She asked me what happened and I started by saying we stopped him for a traffic violation...and she said "And you did THAT to him!!!" Duh. I said, no he did that to himself!

A couple guys came out with a wheelchair and we said we really think you need a stretcher with restraints. They said they knew what they were doing. My partner and I stepped back and waited. They got the guy into the wheelchair and just inside the hospital he started to scream again! We ran in and helped them restrain him with the huge straps they use. He broke one of them and there was a bit of a panic. They finally had 7 restraints on him. It had taken 6 of us holding him down.

We left and went to a coffee shop as the sun came up. We were sitting there when someone said "Hey, you have blood on the back of your shirt." No shit Sherlock.

We never find out what happens to these people, it's weird.

So that's the Gish guy cause he gished his head. That was about 20 years ago....

rinna40

That is really gishy!!!

In the past year I've had way too many conversations with nurses. One told me about a time when she was working in an ER. A man came in and complained about a sore Penis. She said she'd need to take a look. When she saw it she saw a very large round bump on the side of the shaft. She calmly asked him how long the bump had been there. He told here that it was a marble that his ex-girlfriend had sewed in there to increase sexual pleasure. He asked if they could remove it for him. (I believe even that was covered by OHIP).

barbe1958

Holy crap! That beats all!

konakat

Yikes re. the marble, and the guy letting his g/f do that!

Gee Barbe -- you must have been one tough cookie to be a cop in TO.

konakat

Geez, I was just thinking about you owing me a kick in the pants Barbe...now I'm worried!   

barbe1958

You should be worried Elizabeth!

hrf

That penis story is wierd but I have to ask .... who was getting the sexual pleasure? the guy or the g/f?

So barbe, why did you give up being a cop?

Bren-2007

OMG ... a marble sewn in???  I'm guessing, but wouldn't that hurt like hell.

Barbe .. I'm enjoying the stories of your past life as a cop.  Keep 'em coming ... they're like our own version of Law and Order!

peace and love to all my Canadian friends,

Bren

Anonymous

Rinna, I laughed like crazy... Marble... Ewww...

crazy4carrots

Reminds me of a certain urban legend involving crazy glue.....

barbe1958

I was an Auxiliary officer. Minimum 20 hours a month to maintain my status.

Okay, another time, very early on a summer morning, my partner said "What do you want". I said a Fudgicle so we got one and sat by the lake in the car enjoying the beautiful morning. When we were finished, he said "What now?" I was bored so I said, "let's get a body". Two seconds later the radio came through to us about a lady calling in that something was wrong with her husband. An ambulance was on it's way.

We beat the ambulance and got to the house first. The old lady was in her kitchen and said that she had called her husband to come down for his tea but he didn't answer. She had taken her arthritis medication and was waiting for it to work so she could go upstairs but then got worried.

At the bottom of the stairs we could hear what sounded like snoring, but when we went up, he was pretty much dead. He'd had a brain hemhorage and was basically sucking in his own brain fluid.

We had to write up the report and went back to the spot at the lake to meet the Sargeant and hand in the report. We tried to explain what had happened and got stuck on the spelling of the word hemorrhage. We were laughing desperately when the Sargeant  pulled up to get the report. Yah gotta find the humour in it all.

The Sargent told us about a new guy that responded to a man who collapsed mowing his lawn. The paramedics tried to revive him before they transferred him but it didn't look good. Anyway, when the Sargent got to the hospital the family was FURIOUS and he found the cops around a corner just killing themselves laughing! Apparently everytime the paramedics used the defibrilator the garage door went up and down.

I'm sorry, that's just too friggin' funny! 

hrf

Usually Canadians are described as reserved and polite .... but if the shoe fits ... then we are sick and demented........

barbe1958

Okay, the marble thing. Either he was REALLY bad in bed or she was REALLY good at convincing him it wouldn't hurt! I wonder if it worked?

Now, I'm a sewer and I can't even imagine doing that to someone, never mind someone I like! I've seen people disemboweld and throats cut, but that's nothing. I didn't know them...

covertanjou

Barbe,

Thank you for sharing some of your stories!  I love the garage door opening and closing!  

RInna, the marble story.....ouch!  Why on earth would anyone do that or allow anyone to do that to them!!  I'm with Barbe, he was either really, really bad in bed, or really, really stupid to allow someone to do that to him!

lewing

. . . or she was really, really good in bed and could convince him to do ANYTHING.

(Ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch.)

Linda

barbe1958

Don't worry, Canadians don't get offended. We don't take ANYTHING seriously!

covertanjou

Not offended at all!

My friend used to work in an emergency room.  One night a man walked in and said he was in a lot of pain and could not even sit.  My friend asked him what the problem was.  He told her that he and his girlfriend were "fooling around" with vegetables, and a cucumber got "stuck" in him.  My friend was appalled!! She told the doctor, and he said, very calmly with a British accent, "Is it an English cucumber."  I still laugh when I think of that story.

I hope this story didn't cross the line!

Luah

The marble removal is covered by OHIP???  Geeesh, and they don't cover neulasta for cancer patients.  Now that's sick and demented.

rinna40

Here's a funny little Kindergarten Story (as I have taught Kindergarten for a few too many years). One year I brought the class some fresh strawberries that I had picked. I had the kids sitting in a circle on the carpet with their little bowls of strawberries and I started to dollop on the cream. One little boy spoke out and asked if we'd like to know what his family does with cream. I hesitantly said OK. He told us that they put cream on their penis' (I'm not sure why all my stories have penis' in them, perhaps that could be another discussion ). Anyway, I think I must have looked shocked so he explained further: "you know, when it's itchy"  I calmly told him that this was a different kind of cream. 

konakat

Well, I hope he put the marble on the side that would get to her g-spot!  Since we're frolicking in the gutter, my b/f asked me to pierce my tongue -- hahahahaha -- yeah, right.

crazy4carrots

These stories are so "picture perfect",aren't they?  I heard some interesting ones from a friend who did her emergency medicine residency at a downtown Toronto hospital.  The only one I remember involved a petstore mouse found in a most unusual place......

She decided emerg wasn't for her and went into family practice and obstetrics!

WEATHER UPDATE:  Niagara region has been green, until today.  Temps -5 and snow is falling, and staying.

konakat

That poor mouse!  I hope the person was charged with animal cruelty!

And boo-hoo Linda -- green up until today, eh?   At least it's good for making ice wine.  We're going to be in the high minus teens this week (daytime highs!) and we already have tons of snow in Ottawa.  Still happy I'm back in Canuck land though. 

Anonymous

OMG... Things like that run a chill on my skin.

Enjoyful

I'm still stuck on the marble and can't even think about the mouse yet.  How did the marble stay put and not roll around under the skin?  How would anyone even think of a such a thing? 

In other news, following an HHS OIG audit report (go auditors!!) Feds arrested a bunch of healthcare providers involved in a $60M medicare fraud.  Go Feds!!  I'm glad they were caught, but the sad thing is that as long as there's profit to be made in healthcare, there will be fraud.  And the fraud doesn't occur just in federal programs; it's a huge concern for insurance companies as well, which is why insurance companies are trying to emulate the fraud detection models established by medicare. 

SNOW....wish we had some here, even though it shuts things down for days.  The next time we're due for some white death, I'll post a link to a local news station so you can see the mass hysteria.  It's pretty funny.  :-)

Hope everyone's doing well today.  The chemo side effects are subsiding and I'm starting to feel almost human again.  Yay!

E

Enjoyful

Leprechaun -

I could show you some American health care horror stories as well.  How about the radiation center I used that overradiated hundreds of people....TWICE.  These same people set up the machines incorrectly for one of my radiation treatments and didn't notice it until I told them.  Every single doctor I've had has made errors that I've caught, which makes me wonder about the ones I didn't catch. 

The fact is that no health care system can be perfect because it's run by imperfect humans.

E

Enjoyful

rinna -

Loved the whipped cream story.  How did you keep a straight face??

konakat

Marble still on my mind -- maybe it rolling around was part of the fun? 

Re. human error:  When I was going in for my re-excision a nurse luckily caught the wrong bag of something before it was hooked into my IV.  She reamed out everyone -- it had something to do with my penicillin and sulpha allergies.  She pointed to the big red band on my wrist, she flipped through my chart pointing out here and there where it was mentioned.  I was already mellowed out with drugs so I didn't panic.  For the next surgery I made point of mentioning my allergies though.  As an aside, so no one says this was shoddy Canadian care, it was in Boston where this happened.  It can happen anywhere...