my mom at peace

tld33

hi want to thank everyone who has ever posted anything on this website. no matter the subject cancer, jokes concerns or just to vent. you guys have helped me so much that you dont even know what it means to me to be able to read your comments and smile or laugh or cry. my best friend who just happened to be my mom died on july 4 one month ago. she was in hospital still refusing treatment only fluids and blood they did a brain scan on her thinking she may be refusing treatment due to some deteriation in brain. when she got results she smiled at me and said call my doc i am going home. her and i knew in wasnt in brain beforehand. she was so so happy and smiling when she was being pushed in that wheelchair will never forget her face like a woman who has been told yes u are free u may be dying but u are doing it your way. she lasted 4 days at home with hospice i washed her fixed her hair  gave her meds joked with her and justdidnt stop talking. although i know she wanted to duct tape my mouth lol. i talked right on through till her last breath and just kept on talking and loving her . even after 30 days i still talking to her. i told her it was alright over and over again. i held her while they catherized her and when she got hot i cooled her with wet sponge in the end i felt i did for her in the end of her life the same as she did for me in the beginning of mine. even in death as she lay there i didnt want to let go of her hand for a long time because i knew she would be out of my sight and i was so scared  but scared for her, although her soul might have been from her body her hair a mess by then pale skinny bruised up.... she was still the most beautiful person i knew. my heart hurts it sometimes actually hurts to breathe.  i miss her so much . i lost 2 brothers 10 years apart and i know she is with them they are all together again. we talked alot the last 2 weeks i now no why she didnt have treatment and i am at peace with it. i am at peace with alot of things that i have struggled with in my life now. she gave me that she gave me peace in seeing her strength and her heart. i will alweays love and miss her and hope to be as good as her.

debbie6122

TLD33`- IM so,so sorry for your loss, i cryed while reading your post, my heart aches for you and your family I lost my mom 20 yrs ago at a young age and i still miss her and talk to her, i feel her presence and know she is near and hears me, and so does your mom- your in my thoughts and prayers

angel hugs debbie

Chelee

I am so sorry for your loss.  While dealing with my own bc my mother was dx with advanced lung cancer and she fought hard for a year. She went through chemo and WBR but she was just to sick.  Like you...my mother was also my best friend.  I cried through your post because I can so relate to what you went through.  Your Mother sounds like she was an amazing lady and she obviously gave you lots of love, peace and strength to carry on. 

My heart really goes out to you right now.  It is so difficult to lose your Mother.  It will be two yrs this August 16th since my Mom passed away and it still hurts so bad I can't stand it at times.  Your Mother will forever be with you in your heart...and watching over you.   Your Mother was so blessed to have you by here side through all that...she knows what a wonderful young lady she raised....she is smiling down on you.  God bless you.  My sincerest condolences.

Chelee

Jadai

I am so sorry for you.  I lost my mom to this disease 5 days after you lost your mom.  God, it is so hard isn't it?  I know what you mean, I talk to my mom every day.  I even hear her tell me to knock it off when I have those bad moments.....you know the ones I mean.  It hurts so bad.  I hope each day gets easier for the both of us.  I know that neither of them would want to see their children hurting so badly.  You are in my thoughts.

manmito1

i knew in wasnt in brain beforehand. she was so so happy and smiling when she was being pushed in that wheelchair will never forget her face like a woman who has been told yes u are free u may be dying but u are doing it your way. she lasted 4 days at home with hospice i washed her fixed her hair gave her meds joked with her and justdidnt stop talking. although i know she wanted to duct tape my mouth lol. i talked right on through till her last breath and just kept on talking and loving her . even after 30 days i still talking to her. i told her it was alright over and over again. i held her while they catherized her and when she got hot i cooled her with wet sponge in the end i felt i did for her in the end of her life the same as she did for me in the beginning of mine. even in death as she lay there i didnt want to let go of her hand for a long time because i knew she would be out of my sight and i was so scared but scared for her, although her soul might have been from her body her hair a mess by then pale skinny bruised up.... she was still the most beautiful person i knew. my heart hurts it sometimes actually hurts to breathe. i miss her so much . i lost 2 brothers 10 years apart and i know she is with them they are all together again. we talked alot the last 2 weeks i now no why she didnt have treatment and i am at peace with it.
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Leah_S

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