Made it through surgeries, chemo, and arimidex but now

laurie1752R

  Help me too.  My first time here. Diagnosed in April.  Went thru chemo, surgery, masectomy and now starting reconstruction .  Have beenon arimedex for 1 month.  Depressed and hurt all over, afraid I won't be able to go back to work  talk to me!!

Anonymous

Hey Laurie - bittersweet welcome because none of us wanted to be here.  But, it is, what it is and so we keep focused on regaining health and staying sane.

Join us over on the Arimidex thread because you will gain tons of info from the sistahs that may help you persevere.  If the depression is really bad talk it over with your doc.  It is not a bad thing to have to take something during this journey so don't hold back; take care of yourself.

Come often because the support on these threads is second to none (or so it seems to me!)

karen1956

Laurie....I fell apart after Tx was done....kind of like holding up during the crisis and falling apart when its over....its only "normal"....as Patoo said, come here often  for the support....you will out that you are not alone and so much of what you are feeling so many of us also feel.....its a journey that none of us bargained for, but it is doable....hard but doable....(((((((HGUS)))))))))

flash

laurie--- HUGS.  Things will get better.  The arimidex thread does have some good info.  The women there helped me with good ideas such as Glucosamine, D3 and exercise.  all of them did help decrease the physical symptoms of the arimidex.  I hope everything goes better for you.

I can say, been there, done that, still going through crap but it beats the alternative.

flash

Anonymous

Hey everyone, Spar is really down.  Please keep the prayers going up for her.  Thanks.

carpediemocc

Oh my you guys! I can so relate!

Sorry I haven't been here in a looong time. The reason I am here today: Been through the ringer this past year. Diagnosed NOV of 2008 - Chemo ended uhhhh sometime last spring - then mastectomy - radiation - now one more Herceptin and 5 years of Tamoxifen. I should be happy right?! Everyone around me seems relieved that I'm ok and are moving on with their lives now. Me? Not so much.

I've been increasingly depressed. I don't know if this is due to the Tamoxifen. A couple of weeks ago I called in to work because I really couldn't do the "outside world" that day. My ONCdoc has prescribed Ativan, but I'm going through at least one a day. It definitely helps, but I feel I need something stronger or maybe more per day.

 Thanks for listening!

Anonymous

Hey Carpe, bittersweet welcome that you came back but you know this is where the support will be.  Friends and family mean well but unless they are going through it they don't really understand that moving on will be different for us. 

Usually docs prescribe the lowest dose of antidepressant because that just may be the amount a person needs to get by.  Give him a call to see if you can up the dose.

spar2

Hi sisters, I am coming back.  Patoo thank you so much for all your support.  You are so uplifting.  Jan was my 6th year cancerversary I think it is something we never really get to get back to our normal selves.  Lumps, bumps, pain and always in the back of your mind its like I wonder if "its" back.  Oh, there can be days, weeks even where it doesn't enter your mind but it is always there.  I am on antidepressants.  The problems with my son is better, we are communicating again.  My grandson is still in rehab but eating and sleeping which he didn't before.  He wants to stay clean and he wants to keep his job. (which they are holding for him) I have my faith in God.  I am so blessed but sometimes everything is just too much.  The broken bone is not healing and is still painful.  I really don't understand how it can NOT heal but will find out more on the 18th.  Sorry to missing in action so long I just didn't have the energy.  I love you guys and appreciate you all so much.

At least the aches and stiffness is gone now that I have been off arimidex for awhile.

Anonymous

Hey Spar2, glad you are climbing up.  Remember that sometimes those tough times helps to strengthen our faith. Just remember all on this thread who love you and understand those valleys.

Blessings.

spar2

So very true.  My faith is for sure strengthened.  God is so good, he answered my prayers in ways I never expected but was better than I asked for.  Only thing I need now is healing of this bone and hopefully that is already done, will find out the 18th.

Anonymous

Spar2, lifting you up in prayer that your faith is still strong.  He is with you, please hold on to that.

Much love.

Bren-2007

Hi Sherry,

   I just want you to know that I'm thinking of you and holding you close in my heart.

love,

Bren

carpediemocc

Thanks Patoo,

I did ask the doc to up the dose and she did. When I called the prescription in to the pharmacy a bit later one of the onc nurses called and said that my primary physician would have to fill it from now on. I felt a little abandoned in a way lol. I guess I should be happy that my Onc is cutting me loose???

I am going to try and make an appt with my primary and see if she can get me on something that works well with Tamox. I guess not all antidepressents are recommended.

erika-canada

Hi:    Just feel that I need to vent. It has been somewhat over 3 years that i've finished treatment for IBC. Not a day goes by that I don't think of it...a black cloud over my head. 

This is why/how it was explained to me:  When we are in treatment, our system goes into a "fight/survive" mode. When we are finished our treatment, a lot of us go into a Post-traumatic Stress Syndrome (exactly like the soldiers re: war) This can take a very, very long time to get over.

Unfortunately, being on a medication like Femora....please, don't get me wrong, I truly believe it to be a great drug....but the side effects like depression, insomnia, bone and joint aches(and many, many others) I mentioned the above as these I have badly. To say nothing of thinning of the hair (like a 3 year old).

But, God is great, I'm still here to complain. How wonderful is that?

They say to find a new normal. I don't even know what my "old" normal was....can't find a new normal. Chemo brain, severely forgetful, insomnia, Taxotere crumbled my teeth enamel to the point they all have to come out, get up from a chair like a person of 95, never have energy..no matter what I try........with all these daily issues..tell me what person could truly be optimistic??

Good luck and God bless, 

Erika

Anonymous

Hi Erika.  So sorry you are down but glad you came here to rant because we truly understand your frustration. 

My take is to not try and look back to the "old" normal as we only walked with it at the time and didn't have to stop and determine what it was.  Our "new" normal is to live our lives according to what we have to deal with today.  I detect depression from your post.  Are you on an anti-depressant?  If not, you may want to talk to your PCP or med Onc for a script.  Anti-depressants do not have to be lifelong, but just to get you through a few months or a couple of years.  Pre-BC I took them for about 2 years to get through some dark times and then weaned off and I've been okay now for several years.

{{{{Erika}}}}} - Hugs coming your way. 

Suzanne10

Hi All,

I'm Suzanne and i finished my treatments just about a year ago.  But I just can move on everyday I think of how short my hair is and how many years till back before all this.  The reconstration or replacement of both brest looks like shit.   WHAT CAN I DO!   WOULD LOVE YOUR HELP

Anonymous

Hi Suzanne, sorry you are feeling down.  It's not an easy journey as you already know but just think back one year ago.  You had just finished treatments and probably wondered then how you were going to make it.  AND YOU DID!  That's just to say, that you only take it one day at a time and look forward to this time next year when you will have lots more hair and plenty of healing time behind you.

Sorry you are unhappy with the recon.  I only had lumpectomy so I can't know what you are going through but I'm certain that if you look at the forum topics you will probably find a thread, or two or three that will be able to relate to what you are feeling. 

In any case, come here at any time if you need to vent or just receive some cyberlove.

erika-canada

Hi:

Thank you Patto for your words of wisdom.

Yes, I'm on an anti-depressant/anxiety meds; but because the Femora s.e's...depression, anxiety, insomnia, hair los, on and on..I believe this has a lot to do. Yet, when reading re: Femora, I believe it is the drug I would choose, even if my Onc didn't put me on it straight away.

After my Mastectomy/Lymph removal..and had chemo before surgery..for 2 weeks actually felt good re: energy, frame of mind, etc AND then was put on Femora and had the Rads??  Felt so dragged out..regarding my earlier post!!

But God is great, I'm here to vent and having had IBC/with lymph involvement; I KNOW how blessed I have been.

Many warm hugs to you, Patoo, and all the other Ladies who put up with me.

Erika

Anonymous

Spar sweetie - how are you doing?  When do you go back to the doc to see if walking on a broken bone helps it to heal?  That's a wild one to believe but you never know!

Blessings to you and all my sisters.

debisongbird

Well, first of all, God Bless you, Spar. I thought I was all alone until I read your post. And by the way, your Pastor was sooooo out of line. Forgive and let go...after you tell him off! Anyway, I have been on Aromasin for over a year. I'm 56 1/2 y.o. and barely leave the house any more. I have alot of pain every day and recently, like the last month or so...everything seems banal. I cry everyday and I'm not even sure why. I know better than to tell my family (except my husband). They are so over it and think (I think) that I am being negative and just want to talk about me. When I don't want to be negative or talk about myself...I just want to feel..."happy"....even once in a while. No one seems to understand and I even stopped going to church. Everyone is so wrapped up in their life and I would like to be a part - but no energy - and I feel electrically charged - like I could cry and minute. I see the Onc in July and will ask about anti-depressants. At this point, if they help, it makes sense. I just hope I will still be able to take my ativan to sleep and pain meds when needed. I don't know if you can do that on antidepressants, but I'm gonna find out. What is happening to us is reasonable for people whose estrogen is almost non-existent. you need esrogen for brain and mood, etc...so not having it is a primary cause of depression. Good luck to us both! Thank you for posting.