Tired of Crying

victoriasecret

OK I  have to move on here and try to dry the tears it is hard i really had a bad day went for 2nd ultrasound...this has been going on since June 15th i think loosing my mind days are turning into weeks ...anyways next Friday dbl mx...surgeon thinks 5 cm mass with alot in it some infiltrating some DCIS some fiibrecystic stuff  I am emotionally drained and about a week ago turned to relaxers never taken as much as aspirin in my life and i am no stranger to ca...please excuse typos,,,tired and drained...so I asked the Doc a question already asked and answered i could tell she was annoyed ...but my freaking brain is fryed...so if you read my mess ..has anybody had this before please share she still says stage 2border 3...can someone explain ...much love

Cheryl

saint

Hugs Cheryl------of course you cry, but at some point you pull up your strength & exchange the fear & numbness for a fight!

YOU ARE CURABLE!!!! & that is what you need to focus on.......

Please know that you will see a light at the end of this tunnel. You are just gonna have to take each step til you reach the end of your BC journey & reclaim your life in a new way....

be well & stay strong

2Hands4me

Cheryl -- The waiting IS hard, especially since it has been over a month! Please take a deep breath and focus on moving forward to cure this cancer! There are so many things that can be done! Of course you feel overwhelmed - it's alot of information to absorb. I've had a single mastectomy in February and it is very do-able (if that's a word!). It's not fun, but we can DO it! And the main thing is that those cancer cells are gone and can't spread anymore! Keep asking questions - if you've already asked, that's OK - and your doctors should understand that you can't possibly hear everything right now. IF you want more information, there are some excellent threads on this site that explain more, but some ladies prefer not to have even more information! If possible, can you find a family member or close friend you can share with? Let us know how you're doing! We care!

lexislove

I just wanted to give you a hug. Been where you are....things do turn around ..I promise. (((())))

lexislove

Oh and to help answer your question: The full picture of your breast cancer can not be viewed untill after surgery when pathology has taken place. Thats when the docs will know the exact size of the tumor,number of lymph nodes involved,hormonestatus,Her2 status and grade.

This beginning is the hardest because we have so many unanswered questions, we ask our docs but they don't know either untill pathology has been completed. When you have your results, your docs will have your treatment plan in place and you can start to kick this thing to the curb and get your life back!

vivvygirl

Cheryl,

Crying is part of the healing process so it is important.  You also need to be strong and believe in yourself...you will be amazed how strong you really are!  Take good care of yourself.

Big hugs coming your way.

Viv

Jellydonut

Hugs from me too (((()))).

It's very overwhelming in the beginning and I do remember crying a lot too. 

It really does get better.  I'm more than 7 years out if it wasn't for recent reconstructive surgery I would have forgotton that I even had BC.

Jelly

SusieMTN

victoriasecret:  Good luck to you, cry when you need to.  Waiting is hard!  Hang tough, you will get thru this, and know you have many people here for support!  (((Hugs)))) to you!

kittycat

Good luck to you.  I cry a lot too.  My sister told me she cried every day in the beginning, as well.  It's a lot of stress and it's perfectly normal to let it out!!!  Take care of yourself and let us know what's going on!  Hugs! 

Bono

Remember crying IS important, you have to be able to mourn for the loss of normalcy, but you will begin to cry less when you are moving forward with treatment. You will find a new normal and healing will happen, just remember you are not alone, we all understand. Cancer sucks and there is no way around that, but things will begin to look up.

nelia48

Gentle hugs from me, too!!!!  I KNOW how hard this must be for you.  It's just a year ago now for me that I was where you are.  It was such a nightmare for me, too, back then.  All the scans, testings, biopsy, dr. visits, etc.  At least you had questions!!!!!!!  I was so dumb (or numb) that I couldn't think of one single thing to ask.  I just did what they told me to do.  Wish I had known of this website back then.

You will do just fine.  Take deep breaths, and please know that there are so many of us who have done it before you and made it through.  It's hard, but if I can do it, anyone can.

Please let us know how it all goes, keep coming back here, read all the threads, and know we are all here to hold you up!

dlb823

Cheryl ~  As the other women have said, you're in one of the worst place right now.  It gets so much better once you know exactly what you're dealing with, formulate a gameplan to fight it, and start moving through the treatment steps.  So cry as much as you need to.  It will take away a lot of the anxiety and leave room for the courage and strength you may not yet know you have that will fill it.

Have you decided about reconstruction?  I know looking at photos of reconstructed breasts took away a lot of my fear when I realized that I didn't have to be without a breast. 

(((Hugs))) to you ~  Deanna

She

What my bestbreastfriendsforever told me a couple of weeks ago on being diagnosed with my third different BC....  Best advice I've ever gotten... 

"Put your big girl panties on and don't pee them before you get them all the way up."

(That doesn't mean you still can't pout ... this whole thing sux.)

Warrior517

I was in your shoes just 1 1/2 years ago! I thought I would never see the day come that I DIDN'T cry...guess what?? That day DID come....and it will for you, too!! I want you to PM me when it does!! One step at a time....You will be healed AND cured! I freaked out intially because it was also in my lymph nodes, but then God sent me someone that also had it in her lymph nodes over THIRTY YEARS ago!! She was in her 70's!!!   My favorite saying is Faith is taking the first step when you can't see the whole staircase....Keep your faith! Remember..worrying is a sin!! Give your worries to GOD!!  PS I also used to use meditation CDS to fall asleep so I could quiet the late nite monkey chatter!!  Keep telling yourself...YOU WILL BE FINE!!! PM anytime!!

victoriasecret

Ok Ladies I am here to say thank you for your kind words and sharing your thoughts with me just say a prayer for me next Friday .I will be in surgery at 115 pm..I hate going down that lonely hall and arriving in the OR I have been here more than once its been too soon since the last...

much love

Cheryl

Jellydonut

Cheryl,

A suggestion:  Ask the anesthiologist (sp?) to give you a drug before you go into the OR.  I just had surgey last Friday and expressed to the anesthiologist how much I dislike (an understatement!) walking into the OR seeing that metal table and bright lights and getting totally stressed out.  I asked if he could give me something to put me out or in a calmness state before being taken to the OR.  He did.  I have no recollection of the OR which pleased me!

My intuition tells me you'll do super!

Jelly

kellyless

GREAT advice Jelly, I wish I didn't have those last memories of being in the operating room before they put me under!  I started having a full blown anxiety attack just before they knocked me out, and I woke up in the same state, which totally sucked.  I've had several other surgeries and never had any problems, but this was just too much.  Get the drugs that cause memory loss before going into the OR - brilliant idea!

hlya

I have tears in my eyes when I see this post,  it reminds me of the crying days when I got my core biopsy report, when I was waiting for the surgery and pathology report, etc.....

Crying helps,  and looking through this website would kill the hard time as well.  Those days I couldn't concentrate on doing anything but just looking through the posts here and got lots of knowledge about BC,  which start to benefit to my treatment now.

victoriasecret

Well girls the tears have almost dried....this weekend my DH and I are going to NYC have never been there and had planned on going on for my 50th Bday which is in Aug but my diagnosis has stopped those plans...

Did anyone watch So you think you can dance ....Breast Cancer choreographed # ...Yea I was balling like a baby.

much love

Cheryl