My 30yr old GF - Diagnosed in April

TravisC

My 30yr old girlfriend was diagnosed at the end of April. Our relationship had been very rocky until she was diagnosed. She is currently undergoing chemo and it's been tearing us apart. Her hair came out last week also.  The problem I'm having is we are fighting alot. I'm always on her about taking her meds, eating right, staying hydrated, hygiene, etc. It seems everytime she is sick she wants me around but as soon as she goes through a "feel good" cycle of chemo she wants to go out and be with friends. I hate that everytime she feels good enough to do something, she wants to enjoy her days with others. I feel like I should ne entitled to her "good days" as well. I'm not being selfish but I dont want to only be around her when she's sick, its making me depressed. We dont currently live together so its even harder. Any husbands or boyfriends dealing with something similar? it seems the chemo is making her very angry and emotional. well just down right nasty.....  help?

We are not sure of her prognosis, becuase she hasnt asked the onc. I really want to bring it up but I'm afraid if its not good, she will loose hope. Does anyone have a similar diagnosis? or any advice on how i should approach this?

Makratz

Travis,

Sorry you have to go through this.  Your GF is very lucky to have you.  I think you should talk to her and state exactly what you did above.  Let her know that you want to help her when she's feeling down or just needs help and support, but you also want to celebrate with her when things are going well. 

Chemo does make one angry, exhausted, bitter etc.  It's not pretty!  She will get through this and things will get better.

Best of luck to you.  I'm sure others will be along to give some more advice.  My diagnosis (dx)was not the same as your GF's.  I'm sure there are plenty of others who have similiar dx and will respond to you. 

TravisC

Thanks for responding, you're sweet. I think we need to have another talk, it just doesnt seem to be getting through.

Makratz

Good luck Travis.  Since your GF is so young, perhaps you should check out threads here with younger women on them.  I know they must exist.  Perhaps someone closer to her own age can offer you better advice than I can.  Oh, to be 30 again!!  Good Luck!

Estepp

Well.. I can tell you I had a very similar DX. Almost exact to your GF.

She has HERCEPTIN to take for a year. This is WONDERFUL for girls like us.

I was given a 80% chance of being cancer free for life after I did the chemo... surgery... radiation.. and Herceptin.... soooooo... if she does the treatment I did.. I would say she is looking good!

Gods Love

Laura