Please Help...Mom Just Diagnosed

StayingStrongForMyMama

I am confused, scared, worried, and angry. My mom was just diagnosed this Monday June 1st. I am 23 years old and have a little sister who is 19. We are very close to her and so scared of the "what ifs." I am trying not to think of this and to stay positive and supportive, but it is hard. Honestly, I think that I still haven't accepted that this is happening to her. When I recieved the devestating phone call on Monday afternoon I immediately jumped on the train to go be with her. (I live in Chicago with no car and she is 30 miles away in a south suburb). However, I have not really cried yet. Tears welled up as we spoke on the phone, but that was the end of it. I feel that I need to release but maybe am trying to be so strong that my body won't allow me to.

She has an MRI on Monday which I am going to with her and from there we will know more. The doctor said that more than likely she will have a masectomy and chemo. He also said it is aggressive which terrifies me. If anyone who has gone through it and has any words of wisdom or more information that I can learn I would forever appreciate it. I am just not sure what to do besides be there for her. I am just so worried. To top it all off my mom already has MS and a few weeks prior to this diagnosis she was told she has Lupus. I know I need to be strong. I just wish I could cry.

mamasrock

Hi!

It is very strange how closely our stories are. My mom found out the day my husband and I left for our honeymoon but did not tell me til yesterday. She too most likely will have a mastectomy, and chemo. I am so scared, and I cried all day yesterday and a bit today. I am very close to my mom and I keep thinking the worst, which is so stupid to do I know! I am very scared of what she will be like during chemo, bc she has always been so strong for me and now I have to be the strong one for her. I don't know what to do. My mom keeps saying put faith in God but right now I am so angry at God!! Why did he do this to my mom! Why not me?!!?!?

I know this post might not be giving you much hope but your post helped me just know there was someone my age (I'm 24) going through the exact same thing at the same time! Just know that there is a girl on here knowing EXACTLY how you feel, and don't worry you will cry when you are ready.

I guess what I have been thinking today is I really do need to be strong, and put my feelings aside when I am with her and just BE there for her.

I hope this might help...

Shannon

MoniLove22

Hi there well to cry is going to take allot. If you are anything like me I have really only cried cried only twice. My name is Monica and I am married with two children, 30 years old. My mom was diagnosed about two months ago! Today actually is her first day of chemo. She had a single mastecomy and is doing reconstruction. I have been holding it all in and that is not good. My mom is a very strong women but at times I just feel like I have to protect her from all of this. I use to work at a doctors office so I am questioning everything when I go with her to her apointments. Ask questions, get informed. I feel your every fustration, guilt, anger, and hope. Stay possitive for her always tell her that you love her just hold her hand threw it all. You are a stong daughter for staying by her side. Just know your not alone!

 Monica Santiagio 

anm

I was 23 when my mom was disgnosed also.  I'm 30 now.  It's ok to cry- I promise.  I never did through mom's entire process but looking back I don't know how.  My mom was diagnosed w inflammatory breast cancer.  She battled for a little over a year before she passed away.  The one thing I can tell you is let your mom know how much you love her!!!  It sounds like you're close-let her know what that means to you.  I never missed an appt or treatment with mom.  I would drive into town the night before we would leave to go to treatment the next day and stay with her until she was past the symptoms from each.(chemo made her sick at her stomach for 1-2 days each time)  I can tell you depending what chemo she has it could mess with her taste buds- cook her her favorite meals while she still likes them.  Spend as much time with her as you can and be there for her.  It's so hard I know, but you'll both be better for it!  I can honestly say looking back through my mom's illness I have no regrets and I devoted everything to helping her get better.  Research the kind of cancer she has, see what options are out there, encourage her to get a second opinion if you don't agree with what she's told.  She will only hear probably the first 5 minutes of her doctor's appointments.  Someone else needs to be there and listen. Ask questions-don't be afraid.  It's scary, but you'll all get through it.  If you need to vent or have questions I'm more than happy to try and help-PM me.  I'm pretty good at doing research   There are always options out there!!!!  Hang in there!!!   

melimacia1

Hi!

My mom was diagnosed breast cancer about 5 years ago. My advice is to take advantage of all the time you have with her.. Be with her all the time, she needs all the company she can get.. Also, during my mom's treatment I recall not crying as well, but now that I think about it its because you feel like she is having such a bad time and we aren't so why are we crying if she is not.. right? Talk to her and make her feel like this is not the end of the world.. Its really hard, and nobody will ever knnow how you feel until they've gone through it themselves.. My mom passed away 2 years ago, she went through all the treatments and got several surgeries, but in the end the cancer spread everywhere and there was nothing else to do.. This all happened when I was 14 years old, so I just didn't really know what to do.. But now I can tell you that I do regret not talking with her all the time and just saying that I loved her and that we could go through it all together... Please don't go through the same mistakes I made!!!!

If you need anyone to talk to, I am more that welcome to listen, its really important to say what you think and express yourself...

cgrove0518

I'm so glad I found this website!  My mom was just diagnosed on Friday with ILC.  Her tumor is 1.5 centimeters which the Dr. keeps telling us to stay positive because the tumor is fairly small but I've been doing research and now know that the size of the tumor doesn't necessarily mean that it hasn't spread!  I just hate all the waiting.  She was just diagnosed and the only thing we know is that she has ILC, her tumor size, and that it's grade 2.  Her next appointment is on Monday to talk about her surgery options.  I want to make sure we ask the right questions and that she gets the right treatment, like should she have both breasts removed, should she have chemo, etc.?  She's trying to be strong and I am too.  I haven't cried in front of her.  I cried for the first time when I got home last night.  I think it all just hit me.  The worst part about it is that my dad has a drinking problem and he's becoming a negative force in her life right now.  It's hard getting a LARGE does of reality in only a matter of 4 days!