My mother is having surgery in five days.

nataliac

My mother is 39 years old. She is the most wonderful woman in the world, and the best mother anyone could ask for. She is a positive, active, responsible woman. She got diagnosed with breast cancer sometime in November 2008. I am thirteen years old, and I'm in a boarding school in Canada. My family is in Mexico, and my mom is having surgery in five days. I am scared to death because i am not going to be there for her. This is the first time she has ever been diagnosed with cancer. No one else in my family has had it. It just came out of nowhere.

Nothing like this has ever happened to our family. We were always grateful for our health and our family because we knew we were blessed to be this lucky. I was sent to boarding school for a year because my parents wanted me to have a great experience, and for me to be more independent. I was very thankful to have this great opportunity. Both my parents had to work really hard for me to be able to go. When my mom called me to tell me she had cancer, my world came to an end. She told me it wasn't that big of a deal and that everything was going to be alright. After all, she was young, positive and strong.

I always admired my mother. She studied children's psychology and she is the principal of an elementary school. She is always helping people. it could be as small as dropping whatever it is that she was doing and helping me with my homework, or as big as helping two teens go to New Zealand with their grandparents because their mother is a prostitute and a drug dealer. My mom is literally an angel thats why I'm worried that something might happen to her. Maybe god needs her for something.

During the first month i couldn't talk to her because i didn't know what to say. She wanted me to come back home, but i wasn't ready to see her at all. i didn't answer the phone or her emails. My brother cried every night because i wouldn't talk to him. He is only 11 years old. he looks up to me and used to call me everyday. He still does, now i answer his calls. i love him and miss him terribly. He wrote me a poem not to long ago.

 Now i call my family at least once a day. We are as close as we were before her cancer or maybe even closer. My mom is still very positive about everything. We were never religious, but after this everyone kept talking to us about god and how he is going to help her. My mom has at least eighty angels in her closet from everyone who cares about her and loves her.

She is never feeling sorry for herself, and i can talk to her about anything. The only thing we cant talk about is her surgery. She cries every time we talk about it. She is in an airplane right now flying to Mexico City for her surgery on tuesday. i don't even know how i feel. I'm supposed to be doing my homework right now, but i think about her and the surgery every minute of every day. 

My brother asked her if she was going to die, and she said that she couldn't die yet because she still has things to do, and that she would never ever do that to us. My dad is working a lot now because of all the chemo therapies and the surgery. He is the sweetest man in the whole world. Everyone is going to the surgery. My grandparents, my uncles and aunts, my cousins, her friends and my brother and dad they are all going. Except for me.

I am not going because it is too expensive and my school wouldn't let me leave that long. I understand, but i wish i could hold her hand or hug her while she's going through it.

I love my mom. She is the best person in the whole world. I am very thankful for her and my whole family. 

Route53

Natalia,

When my wife was in college, her mother had breast cancer and did not tell her because she sdidn't want her to worry.  To this day my wife is both a little bitter and a little thankful she didn't know. 

When my wife was diagnosed last year she began to understand why her mother didn't tell her.  The reason is that (and I don't know her diagnosis) is that your mother is very likely going to survive this surgery and she wants you to know that she is going to be alright and although she doesnt wamt  to bother you, she knows that you need to know how she is doing.  Your mother is strong and as anyone will tell you, it is not the surgery when you need people around, but after the surgery.  It sounds like your mother has a lot of people to care for her.

My wife's own mother did not even visit my wife until 3 months after her surgery (6 months after diagnosis) but my wife knew her mother was there for her all the time.

I'm sure your mother knows you care. 

nataliac

thank you so much, but i am still very worried and i dont know what to do...

nancypat

Hi Natalia,

Since you can't go home right now you are doing everything possible that you can do.  Be strong for your family.  I am glad you are talking to your little brother.  He needs you very much.  I'm sure your mom is more worried about you and your brother than she is for herself.  Treatment for breast cancer is very good now.  Trust that your mom's doctors and your dad will take good care of her.  I hope you get to go home soon.  Until then do your best at school.  Please stay in touch and let us know how your mom is doing.  You are one fantastic daughter!  I am sure your family is  very proud of you.

Thinking of you,

Nancy 

nataliac

Thank you Nancy

The surgery is tomorrow and i am very nervous, and i hope my mum is going to be okay. My friends are really helping me and supporting me, and my whole family is with my mum in Mexico City. i hope everything will be fine. i am going tback home until june 12, but i guess its not that long.

Thanks again,

Natalia

nancypat

You are welcome, Natalia,

I will be praying for your mom and you and your family.  I am glad you have special friends around you now.  That is so important.  You also have a friend in me.  First I had a lumpectomy and Sentinal Node Biopsy, then a mastectomy last month.  I had my first round of chemo today and I am doing fine.  I trust your mother will be too.  Do you know what kind of surgery she is having?

Stay strong dear one.  June 12th will come by slowly for you but it will get here.  Don't be afraid to do happy busy things with your friends.  It will make the time go by faster and you will feel better.  It's okay to laugh.  We need to do that.  Feel free to PM me any time you need to talk.  I'll be here for you. 

Bejinge,

Nancy

rhy

Natalia,

I am so sorry to hear about your mother and the problems you are having.  My wife just had surgery last week, and she is doing well.  I am sure your Mom will too.  We have 2 daughters, 15 and 20, and while it is hard to talk about the cancer, we think it is important to keep talking.  Is there a counselor at your school you can talk to.  I am glad you have friends supporting you, it has been very important to our daughters.  My 15 year old's friends all wore pink on the day of the surgery.  One more peace of advice, try to be skeptical of all of the stuff on the Internet, a lot is wrong and probably doesn't apply to your mother.

You are in my prayers