Depressed After Treatment

jobu

Hi Ladies,

I finished my rads on April 2. I had a long beautiful walk in the morning. Then went for the final zap. They blasted Motown music and drew heart tatoos on me. We celebrated by taking photos, laughing and presenting the techs with a final chocolate gift. Afterwards II took another longer walk by a creek looking up at our beautiful Mt. Tamalpias here in Marin. I thanked the universive that I was alive and stronger than I thought to make it through 11 months of treatment.  We are all amazing women!!!

A week later my excitement has shifted to exhaustion. I feel completely depleated. And I am quite teary now. I will wake up crying my eyes out for no reason at all. What is this about? I think my body is letting out a great big sigh...my hormones are rocking...and I am really tired. My joints ache everywhere and I haven't started the Tamoxafin yet? I just keep telling myself to be cool and give my body time to catch up and heal. Is anyone out there experiencing anything similar?

Jobu

Makratz

Congrats on finishing the rads.  That's huge!!  I felt the same way when I finished mine.  I was so happy and then suddenly exhausted.  I'm sure it's everything you've been through both physically and emtionally.  I was tired for about a month and then started to get my energy back. I hope you are feeling up to par real soon!!  When do you start your Tamox?  I've had good luck with mine so far.  When I first started 6 months ago, I had terrible hot flashes and night sweats.  They diminished to a manageable amount and I still take it every night.  You can do this!!  hang in there!

mzmiller99

Jobu - I think it is totally natural to have a huge letdown at the end of treatment.  You've been in fight mode for so long, your body and brain are just deflated.  We can soldier through most anything, but we pay the price later on when it catches up to us.

Acknowledge your feelings - you're entitled to them, and go easy on your body.  It has been through h*ll and needs to recoup.

I had all but forgotten that huge letdown after rads, until I saw your post.

Hugs,

Susan

tammyj38

I am relieved to see that there is someone else out there that feels like I do! I finished rads in Feb. and I've been real emotional, moody, weepy, achy, etc.! My mood swings are horrible , I think it's crazy hormones! I have terrible anxiety, trouble sleeping. I think when I was going through cancer treatment I felt like I was being taken care of and now that treatment has ended I feel abandoned. I'm thankful for this site where we all have each other, it helps when I feel all alone!

Thanks and hang in there, we'll all get through this!

Tammy

domenique

I feel the same, it's like now what?  And who is battling for me, and with me?  My doctor told me to expect this feeling of abandonment.  I think I was feeling it the last week of radiation.  I was almost enjoying it!  Going in and seeing my technicians, nurses, doctors, everyday.  I felt well cared for.... and now I feel so alone.  As much as I wanted it to be over, it left me feeling sad.  I agree with the others comments.  Its like a big emotional let down.  We just have to be kind and loving to ourselves. 

Makratz

That's what we are here for Ladies.  Come and make some friends on many different threads.  Find a few (threads) that you enjoy.  Since we have all been through it, we all understand.  You will have good days and bad days.  We understand!  I think it's important to keep busy.  If you need to feel silly or get a laugh, there are threads for that too.  I enjoy the escape thread.

Best of luck to all of you.

gigigigi

Dear all : ... so depressed.  BC took my breast, my hair and my period away.   I have just finished all chemo and radiation treatments.   Debating to do tram flap recon. or not.  Keep asking myself .. now what's next.  Am I done with BC or not.  Being alone at home during the day definitely not helping.   May be I should return to my full time job soon so that my mind is occupied with work stuff. 

Lucy73

gigigigi- I am depressed too.  And I only had a lumpectomy. Although I started out so small, and they ended up having to take out a lot of tissue, so I am left with half a breast. I have been struggling with reconstruction too. I still have to do radiation. I work for myself, and my work load has dwindled down to less than half time. I don't even have a job to return to!  I could go sit in my shared office for company, but am too depressed most days to bother leaving the house.  And with a bald head and no drive, searching for a job seems way too intimidating right now. I just hope the next 6 weeks of radiation doesn't make things worse!