Mom just got news from Medical Oncologist

Christinalynn

My mom met with the medical oncologist yesterday  and he tells her that he is pretty sure the cancer has spread to other parts of her body. He said his reasoning was that the tumor in her breast is rapidly growing. So for the next two days she is getting a bunch of scans and mris. Thursday they are suppose to know excatly what they are dealing with. My mo is not doing very good and her husband has made it to where my children ages 2 and 1 are not allowed in his house. He says he just cant handle it. My mother doesn't want to leave the house. Therefore I am having a very hard time seeing my mom. I have ran to her house and took a few things in to her but thats its because my kids where in the car. My husband works 3rds so he generally sleeps during the day making it hard for him to watch them so I can go see my mom. The other day when I went to see her. She had  gotten sick right before I left and called for me. I went back to see what the problem was and I guess she was just too weak to get up so it got all over her and her blanket and the couch. I helped her clean it up fast and I had to get her a new shirt becaus she was just going to wear the one that she had gotten sick on. Then when i was getting ready to leave again only a minute or two later because my kids were in the car, she begged me not to go. She was so scarred that her husband was going to yell at her for getting sick as soon as I left. I felt so bad because I had to leave my kids where in the car but at the same time I so badly wanted to stay and help her. I just dont know what to do. I found this reach to recovery program around here where a breast cancer survivor will meet with my mom at her home and visit her at the hospital during her treatments and surgury. They also provide free wigs and bras after surgury. She wants to do it but knows her husband will not let anyone like that in her house. They have never had the greatest relationship  but she used to stand up to him now she is scarred that hes going to leave her that she won't say anything. Plus the fact that shes so weak. She told me she was afarid to eat because she was afarid she would get sick and then make her husband mad. I think she needs to get away from him or something needs to be done. I've been praying every night for something to change or for me to find a way to help her more but I just dont know what to do. If anyone has an suggestions please let me know.

hbcheryl

Oh Christinalynn,

I am so sorry about your Mom I am not the one to be able to advise you as my diagnosis was so different but you should go to the triple negative thread.

Would it be possible to have a friend watch your children for a few hours so you can help your mom, just being with her is what she needs as she is in such a negative environment and it will only get worse as if her husband was a bully before he is going to be a bully after and she shouldn't be in that environment.  If none of your friends can help what about one of your Moms friends.  You would be surprised the people who are willing to help, all you have to do is reach out - do you have a church group you could go to or does the hospital in your area have a support group?  Sending you both a (((((HUG))))).

Cheryl

Christinalynn

Thank you. I do have a church group and several friends. I never thought about my moms friends though.  I know its going to be okay. Its just so hard right now. Again, thank you for posting and giving me ideas.

Christina