A do over

DV8Q

So anyone doing anything over or think they will after cancer treatment ? I know we all have evaluated our lives as some point and wondered what if we have done something differnt to not get cancer but I am talking about going back to school, learning something new, getting a divorce? I am thinking about moving out of my place and getting out of my long term relationship (I want a husband not a boyfriend). I have no kids and no real ties here in this town iether so my options are open. I do however have a job which prevents an out of state move. 

dee1961

Cancer has a way of putting things into perspective. I know my priorities sure have changed. Do what makes you happy and you will do great!

Jaybird627

Yep, live your life as you want to not as how you think other's think you should!

I always wanted to be a mom and started the adoption process for my daughter the same month I'd completed rads. Kind of crazy (in hindsight) but she's the light of my life and I have NO regrets!

foxyroxy2983

Hi DV8Q, as a young person dealing with bc also, I analyze and think about things that I should have done differently in the past. As for do overs, the past is in the past and now is a good time to evaluate things and change them for the better. I'm taking a leave of absence from school and now I am more motivated to go back and finish.  As for relationships I'm not really into them right now, if I want one I would like it to go in a more serious direction because I'm tired of dealing with bs and you shouldn't have to put up with bs either. BC sucks and all, but I see it as an opportunity to focus on myself. It's ok to be selfish right now, do what makes you happy and don't let anyone or anything get in your way.

DV8Q

Jaybird that is so inspiring, I often think about adoption as the way to go I hope I am acepted when the time comes.

Thanks all for the words of encouragement, I just came back from the advising center at my school to get the paperwork/requirements for the labratory technology prerequisites.

At my cancer center there is a nurse who graduated nursing school at 50yrs old..it never is too late (well maybe for being a professional balarina!) 

lexislove

I definatly evaluated my frienships.The ones that were "toxic" I got rid of...but through out this whole BC thing I have gained many more "real" friendships. I  feel more happier and not so angry as I did 5 years ago (bad break up..financial stress)

Little things that use to bother me before BC...don't. I have more patience and  more compassion...I'm planning on "giving back" one day, when my 3 year old is in school, by volunteering or maybe becoming a phone peer at the local cancer centre to help other young woman while they are going through their diagnosis and treatment.

AmyA7

As I approach my one year dx anniversary I've been re-evaluating my life as well! Thanks for this great discussion thread! Jaybird I love your attitude! And like Lexislove I've evaluated my relationships and trying to move on from the "toxic" ones too. My boyfriend has not been support at all this past year when I've needed him the most so I'm movin' on from him too! Like DV8Q I want a husband.

No worries, no regrets! You really learn what and who matters after going through this -- it's empowering to know that all things are possible! Woo hooo!

Hugs to all!!!

PT63

DV8Q

I actually was accepted in a doctoral program the day before I found out I had bc.  I deferred my enrollment the next day.  After I was done with acute treatment, I accepted the position and finished my doctorate.  It really helped me keep my mind busy and off the "c" word in the evenings.  I am finished with that now and I am looking for something else.  Right now I have changed my hours to 4 days per week and I volunteer on Fridays.  I also started a kickboxing class that I have been wanting to do for 2 years.  I am thinking of taking a foreign language class in the evenings at the local community college.  I am not gifted in languages so it may take me a few times to get any better.

Take Care!

DV8Q

Yeah I am learning "toxic" people are just a waste of time, PT63 congrats on landing your doctorate. It so encouraging to hear people accomplishing things especially after a few down days on the couch or in bed. I am still psyching myself to do my homework tonight, I know its nothing amazing but its one step closer to my goals.  AmyA7 sometimes I wish there was a cancer hookup line for people who have been through it, that way we can get a little understanding and not be so alien to our mates. 

onnelld

It seems like all of us are reevaluating ourselves.Thats great! Having BC have opened my eyes. As a matter of fact it has changed me somewhat. Im not allowing anyone or anything to get the best of me. Negativity Im not tolerating anymore. Im happier and more confident and I just want to reach out and do positive things all the time. I intend to live my life to the fullest. Im not going to short change Me anymore.

All the best in your endeavors. You all deserve the best that life has to offer and more.

 Im thinking about learning to drive. I have always been scared but now Im ready to give it a shot.

Take care everyone. Hugs.

tammyj38

I will reach my 1 year since diagnosis on May 13th. I finished rads in Feb. Had mammo and PET scan last week, everything is all clear! YEAY!!! I am 45 years old and have always dreamed of owning my own horse and going trail riding. I just recently bought a horse and am now pursuing my dream! Some think I'm crazy starting this at my age because I'm a beginning rider, no previous lessons or experience but I believe you're never too old to start or learn something new in life! If it hadn't been for my breast cancer experience I don't know if I'd ever pursued this. Probably been one of those things on my list later in life that I'd wished I'd done! So I say to every woman out there to go for it and pursue whatever dreams or desires you may have!

KEW

DV8Q-

Yup, I applied to a grad program at PSU in February (don't know if I got in yet), I said no more to the man who had an excuse for everything, but never there when I needed him--sad to say--it was hard for me--pathetic huh, but it had been 14 years of being jerked around and he couldn't deal with my diagnosis, and I too would prefer a husband, to an endless boyfriend.  I'm a program director, and really beginning to realize that I don't want that responsibility, at least not in this program.  I want to enjoy my kids and friends more, work to live, not live to work.  I got a puppy that I'd been putting off  for years.  I totally believe in do-overs, I've done it before in life for different reasons, and I usually find myself better off.  BC is the perfect reason for a do-over.  I want a truck, I've wanted one my whole life, I see a truck in my future.  I am also finding that it is much easier for me not to get caught up in work issues, I know that sounds harsh, but my work environment can eat you up, and I don't want to work 14 hours a day and weekends anymore, to make someone else's deadline for them.  I've volunteered for Komen and have a training coming up on the 27th.  I hate that we are having to deal with breast cancer, but I hope we all find a way to make the most of the opportunity to do the things we've put off.  I think for the first time in my life, I'm putting myself first, when appropriate. I don't want to shortchange myself anymore. More hiking, laughing with my boys 15 and 20, and walking on the beach. The greatest limiting factor?  Lack of universal health care--some of us are trapped in our jobs because we need insurance, and I think that is miserable.  Oh Tammy, I used to ride and dream about ridding again, good for you for making it happen, awesome.

Love to all,

Karen

onnelld

Im so happy that so many of us are pursuing our dreams and desires. Its a blessing. Way to go girls!!

Karen, I love your positive attitude. Im encouraged by all that you have to say. All the best to you in your endeavors. Its awesome what you are doing- volunteering for Komen. Keep your chin up.

All the best to you too Tammy. Please be encouraged.

Hugs to all,

Onnell

KEW

Onnell,

Our dreams deserve to be explored.  I hope you have fun exploring yours!

Karen

onnelld

Karen,

I havent start exploring my dreams as yet but I definitely will as soon as I get a little stronger. I know Im going to have fun. Thanks.

Onnell

DV8Q

KEW I will keep my fingers crossed for you for the PSU program, I so miss being on campus (currently taking online courses for my Bachelors in AJ ) and just having a decent conversation that doesnt involve television. 

And TammyJ38 never too late, your inspiring you make me want to take ballet lessons (I will be the only ballerina with Boobs!)