My story/Cry for help

nono343

I am 33 y/o mom of 3 beautiful children age 11, 10, and 5. I "accidentally" found a lump on my left breast. I have this habit of scratching my neck when I am nervous or bored and that is what I was doing at work one day-bored out of my mind   when I felt something under my pinky - so as I sat in my cubicle at work that Friday - I started feeling around the top of my breast, and there it was - clear as day - a lump.  Of course, it was too late to call anydoctors that day so I had to wait for Monday to call my ob/gyn -who got me in that same day PRAISE THE LORD!

My doc told me I was too young for breast cancer and because it was round and moved, it was benign-probably just a cyst - but because my dr is always very precautious (this is why I LOVE this dr) he went ahead and sent me for a mammo/sono two days later.  As I was laying there getting the sono - I tried to get some info out of the tech-who wouldnt tell me anything. I even told her my Doc said they would tell me something before I left.  She politely told me my doc would have the results later that afternoon or the next day for sure.  Walking out of the hospital, I called the docs office upset because they had said I would know before I left the hospital. The nurse calmed me down and said they probably didnt tell me anything because there had been nothing there to find. She called me back about an hour later and told me she had contacted the hospital and they would for sure have the results back that day and asked me if I wanted to come in late that afternoon for the results or wait till the next day. I chose that afternoon. As the nurse walked me back to the room she asked me if I was nervous, I told her no.  Whatever happens, happens for a reason. My mammo and sono had come back with bi-rads 4 -indeterminate lesion. not a simple cyst.

I was set up with the Breast Cancer Center in Springfield, IL for a consultation and biopsy. The biopsy came back positive for a malignant cancer. IDC with a nottingham grade 3 of 3.

Because I do not know my medical history, my dr is very concerned with the fact that I am young with cancer so we are not doing any plans until the genetic testing comes back.  So here I sit, not knowing what to do next, what to think, with all these posibillities floating around in my head. I am trying to stay positive for my husband and children, but its so hard. I am already on depression meds so I'm not even sure they can give me anything to help me now.

Does anybody have any suggestions to help me? I have put all my faith in the Lord, but I'm scared. My kids are scared. My husband is scared. I might lose everything that makes me a woman. How does my marriage survive that? How do you put your kids mind at ease?

didle20Diane

You have found the right place......sorry you had to join us.  The worst is finding out and the first week or so afterwards......you will get through this phase, I promise.  I am also young (41) with 3 young children and have had my surgery and first chemo.  This is all doable! Please feel free to send a private message but do know we are all hear for you.

DebbyB

I am so sorry you are going through this.  The first week or so is the worst.  When I was diagnosed it was on my mind constantly and I couldn't seem to think of anything else.  But it really does get better.  I have had my surgery and will be starting chemo in a week. It was very helpful for me to talk to different women who had gone through the same journey I'm going through now.  This is a wonderful site and there are many of us here to support you! 

everyminute

I know, we all know, how you feel.  All you can do right now is put one foot in front of the other and take each step as they come.

So - next is genetic testing.  I had it done, mine came back negative.  I have a friend that came back positive (she is also young - 28 when diagnosed.  I am considered young too at 39 but not as young as you guys).  We both chose bilateral mastectomy with immediate reconstruction (for different reasons) and both very happy with our results.  I am now 3 months out from my exchange surgery (with silicone implants).

My husband and I have gotten through this together.  I, too, was concerned about how this would all work out but he loves me - not my breasts or my hair and I am sure your husband does too.

You have to get more information but MOST women diagnosed with breast cancer die of something else and a long time from NOW!  My kids are older - 16 and 13 which can be even harder since they "know " more (or at least they think they do!) I am honest with them and tell they that I will do everything that I can to survive this and that my odds are good.  Most importantly I try to enjoy every day with them - that is all any of us have (bc or not).

You are stronger than you know.  Feel free to pm me.

idaho

We have all been there.  Get through all the tests and and get a game plan, that really helped me.  You can do it!  It is hard to stay cheerful and reassure everyone else.  This is a good place to let it all go.  If you need to vent, do it!  You might also beable to find a bc support group nearby, that is a life saver. soft hugs- Tami

lopsided_blogger

Hi Nono343,



I'm originally from Spfld., Illinois, and now live in Champaign, Illinois. I'm 39 and found my IDC when I was 37 and a half. I'm done with treatment and have had DIEP reconstruction this past summer. They can do immediate DIEP reconstruction at the SIU Breast Center in Spfld. That's something to check into if you're concerned about waking up after a mastectomy with no breasts. There are two plastic surgeons who do the DIEP over at SIU in Spfld. They work as a team--the woman's name is Dr. Nicole Sommer. Or, if you want to check out the option of implants, I've heard plastic surgeon Dr. Beth Berghoff in Spfld. does a lot of those. Feel free to private message me if you want to chat.



Best,

lopsided blogger

nono343

thanks everybody for your words of encouragement. I just get down sometimes and don't always want to burden my husband with ALL of my depressing feelings

Lopsided, my doc, dunnington, actually told me that if I chose reconstruction, he wanted me to do it with the mastectomy - his reasoning is one surgery, faster healing time. I am actually very pleased with the Breast Cancer Center there. they really seem to have there ducks in a row and treat me like an individual person rather than just a patient they are trying to push thru to get on to the next patient.

Tina-in-Seattle

Hi Nono,

So sorry to meet you here but this is the place to be.  There are so many amazing women here that can give you a lot of information.

I was diagnosed on Jan 19 after my doctor blew off the change in my left breast not once but twice.  An ultasound lead to a biopsy which came back positive for IDC.  This is the worst part of the process, the finding out.  I lost it when I heard the word biopsy, when I got my result it was much less dramatic.  I am two weeks out of a bi lateral mastectomy and will meet with my oncologists this week for radiation and chemo plans.  I have chosen reconstruction with tissue expanders.  Your doctor is right, one surgery and you can heal.  I am 49 with two young children but have met people as young as 25 with BC.  So the fact that being young is no longer a fail safe for BC.  As others here have said the worst is over, now the planning begins.  This is beatable.  Chemo is doable, it's not easy but you can get through it.  I am at the begininning like you and have days where I just want to throw myself a big old pity party and eat ice cream all day.  It's ok if you need to cry cry, if you want to worry a bit worry.  But in the end you will be ok.  I also had the BCRA tests which came back negative.  Which took a big load off my mind.  I was terrified to look at myself after my surgery but it really isn't that bad.  Just take it slow, there is amazing medicine out there these days.  Lean on your husband, he will be there for you.  Mine has been great, after my surgery he tended my incisions, cleaned my drains and made sure that I was comfortable. 

Keep us posted as to how you are doing.  We are all with you.

Hugging you tight,

Tina

hbcheryl

Hi Nono,

Everyone is right, this is the worst time - you don't know what is happening, what is going to happen and your feelings are all over the place.  All I can tell you is that if anyone offers you help - accept it, some people don't know what to say, some say stupid things but most people just want to help you so let them.  One of the nicest things anyone did for me after my surgery was my neighbor came in each day and made my bed, it was something so ordinary but it made me feel so good to be able to get into a nicely made bed.  You have found the place to be there is always someone here at any time of the day or night and even though I am miles away I am reaching - my arms are around you.

((((((Hug))))))

Cheryl

  

fairy49

Nono, you have come to the right place, the ladies here are beyond amazing.  The beginning is the worst, it was for me also, once you have your treatment plan in place you will feel so much better, right now its all so overwelming and there is so much to take it, but hang in there you WILL BE OK!! come back here often, ask your questions, doesn't matter what it is, there is a thread for everything! your sisters here will guide you through every step with love and warm cyber hugs, they never cease to amaze me.  My prayers are with you.

Lorraine ox

Mamita49

Fairy49,

Please could you explain what in your diagnose Scores Local 9 Distant 6 means.....

I would like to know............

Thanks

carol