mixed feelings

tyra

this is my 2nd time dx with cancer i am currently going through treatment ...taxol and carbo every 3 weeks i have am still so scared of this crap ,,my biggest fear is am i going to be here to raise my kids !!!! i try to be so strong for my kids sake but i am losing it i having trouble getting out of bed just cause i don't want to i am sad ,can't sleep i can't eat my life just seems to be i can't !!!!!! I WANT MY LIFE BACK !!!!! i don't want to die i want to live i don't know what to do sorry for venting but i am so scared!!!!!!!!!!!

shelloz1

Hi Tyra,

I'm so sorry that you are going through this, somehow this beast has to be stopped! 

It's ok to scream, rant, get it out, but yes, you must try to be strong for yourself and your kids.  You should consider taking something to help you (if you aren't already).  | was so depressed until recently, crying all the time, breaking down everywhere, but I finally gave in and started taking an anti depressant. 

Please don't think about dying, think of positive thoughts (I know how hard that is), but the best is to keep yourself busy.  Be with your kids as much as you can, and surround yourself with loving supportive people. 

We are here for you, and I'm sending you hugs and prayers.

tos

Hello mixed feelings,

 My dear all that you are feeling is so normal and we all go thru it.  It has to be terribly hard when raising children and having to deal with this but you will get thru it.  Do you have a good support system around you, family, friends who can help with the childrren and running errands?

 I too have had this twice, actually I see we both are triple neg's so I want you to remember that things are getting much better for triple negs.  Many studies, research is beginning, platins are supposed to be very good for tri negs so it sounds like your Onc has you on the right path.

 I hope you will also check out http://www.tnbcfoundation.org for additional help.  They focus just on triple negative breast cancer and this Foundation is working very hard to see to it we have the target drugs we need, the attention we need in the medical field and eventually a cure.

I too would suggest you try a mild sedative until you get thru this and/or sleeping pill.  Many of us have done this, I being one but there are many and some women even take a antidepressant.  It's ok really to have these feelings!  But getting a little help to get you thru until you get a better grasp cannot hurt a thing but help you in feeling a tad better.

Make sure any medicines you might pick up over the counter is cleared thru your Oncologist's office per your treatment to make sure it will not affect your chemotherapy.

 Write here and at the triple neg board and reach out to others.  It really helps, it helps me so much.  Otherwise we feel so alone and we are not really.  Let's all come together for that added strength to empower us to put this nightmare back in it's place.  We are all scared, it is very hard no doubt about it but we can do this, you too.  Remember that!

Big hug,

nosurrender

Hi Tyra,

This is such an upsetting time. Two years ago today I had my bilat for the breast cancer that came back six years after the first one. I am all done with treatments and my hair is back. I got my life back - twice- and you will too.

The TNBC is a great place and we also have a lot of info over at nosurrender too.

Big hugs to you,

g